Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Stubborn Obedience is Disobedience

What should our attitude be in submitting to our husbands? Should we practice joyful submission even when we fully disagree with our husbands? Yes! I firmly believe that we need to learn to joyfully submit to our husbands whether we agree with them or not since God is the one who made the husband the leader of the home and when we submit to our husbands, we are submitting to the Lord. If he leads us in the wrong direction, he will have to answer to the Lord for this, not us. Do not be afraid! God never gives commands that we are not able to obey.

Jack Graham is a preacher my daughter, Cassi, loves. She will send me some of his daily devotionals to me if she thinks I will enjoy them. Here are some quotes from a recent one she sent me that I just loved!

There's a difference between true obedience and stubborn obedience. And in marriage, there's a difference between heartfelt submission to God's design and rebellious submission...a rebelliously obedient wife may think, "I'll submit to my husband's leadership, but I'm going to always second-guess him."

Rebellious obedience is the same as disobedience. So obey God's design for marriage with a joyful heart. When you have that kind of attitude, you'll experience a deeper joy as you align your heart with God's will for you! Experience true joy in your marriage through heartfelt obedience to God's design.

God calls children to obey their parents. We, as their parents, are responsible to train our children to obey us. We want them to obey us immediately and with a good attitude. If they grudgingly obeyed us, we would deal with them and tell them that it is unacceptable behavior.

In the same way, wives are commanded to obey their husbands. God's commands are not burdensome. We need to obey our husbands immediately and with a good attitude understanding that this command is really coming from the mouth of God. Unless there is obedience all the time, there is no obedience. So, if you choose when to obey your husband, you are not obeying him at all. You are simply doing your own will, and sometimes it happens to coincide with his wishes {Elizabeth Rice Handford}.

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory;
but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves.
Philippians 2:3

When we esteem our husbands better than ourselves, we make it much easier to respect, honor, and obey them. God has not called us to strife but to peace. Be at peace with your husband, stop arguing with him about his decisions, and train yourself to joyfully submit, for this pleases the Lord.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Should Young Wives with No Children be Keepers At Home?

The directive in Scripture given to older women to teach young women to be keepers at home doesn't say that we should teach this to only mothers but to "young women." I read about young wives who work a lot. They come home exhausted and unable to fully take care of their husbands and home as they would like. What about them? Should they be expected to be keepers at home?

If you believe the Bible and take it literally, YES, they should be keepers at home. Their main ministry should be in the home. If they don't have enough time to go shopping for nourishing food, fix healthy meals, keep their homes clean, and be there for their husbands sexually, they are working too much!

Most women only have so much energy. To be expected to work full time and keep the home fires as well as her husband's fire burning is usually asking too much from a woman. Christian women who have not been thoroughly tainted by feminism still want to be home and take care of it. They want to keep it clean, tidy, and organized. They want to be the one cooking meals for their husbands and having time to be intimate with them.

If they can find a job that allows them to still have their heart at home, they should do that. Time is too short and valuable to give it all to a job and a boss rather than her home and her husband. Once she adds children to the mix, I firmly believe, as you all well know, that she needs to be home full-time with her children to accomplish everything the Lord wants her to accomplish on top of her home and husband duties; training, disciplining, and teaching her children.

Oh, but we could never afford to do that. How do you know? How about stepping out in faith and allowing the Lord to supply your need as you follow His commands. Taste and see that the Lord is good!

In closing, I will give you a quote given by Amelia Barr, a famous author from the late 1800s and early 1900s ~

The one unanswerable excuse for woman's entrance into active public life of any kind, is need, and alas! need is growing daily, as marriage becomes continually rarer, and more women are left adrift in the world without helpers and protectors. But this is a subject too large to enter on here, though in the beginning it sprung from discontented women, preferring the work and duties of men to their own work and duties. Have they found the battle of life any more ennobling in masculine professions, than in their old feminine household ways? Is work done in the world for strangers, any less tiresome and monotonous than work done in the house for father and mother, husband and children? If they answer truly, they will reply "the home duties were the easiest, the safest, and the happiest." 

The aged women...teach the young women... 
to love their husbands, to love their children, be keepers at home.
Titus 2:3-5

Monday, July 28, 2014

Addiction To Sexual Self-Pleasure

Several women got into an interesting conversation about healthy and unhealthy sexual practices on my post She Wished She Knew Her Parents Had Sex. The joyfilledwife finally added her thoughts and I thought they were worth sharing with all of you ~

Each and every sin in our life will impact our marriages in a negative way. Selfishness and sin can easily defile a marriage bed if we don't approach sex in marriage in a Biblical, selfless way. Because her daughter {a woman's daughter who commented on the post} has an addiction {masturbation}, and particularly a sexually sinful one where she is taking her desires into her own hands, yes, ChristyH is right about her future husband not being able to compete with that. 

We will always know what "buttons to push" on ourselves better than our spouses do, and indulging in masturbation not only will create dissatisfaction sexually with our spouse and their ability to please us, but it cheats them out of their role in meeting our sexual needs and desires. This is why communication is so important in the marriage bed. We need to communicate and teach our spouses what we like best when they seek to pleasure us. Sexual desires were never meant to be fulfilled by self-indulgence. God created sex for the couple to enjoy engaging in, to procreate, and to display a godly oneness. It is an act of loving service to each other. Christ and the church operate as one -- they don't separate themselves because it's more pleasurable to do things their own way. 

Addiction to self-pleasure {whether masturbation, pornography, or others things} steal away from the marriage bed, create dissatisfaction with sex as God intended it to be, and is idolatry, plain and simple. If a husband and wife were spending 75% of their day having sex, I would suggest that they have made an idol out of this one aspect of their marriage. Something can even be a good thing at it's core but, if pursued obsessively, made an unbalanced priority, or approached selfishly, it will take a turn for the worst and quickly become sinful. 

I know there are people on both sides of the fence on this issue {use of sexual toys}, but I don't happen to believe that using inanimate objects during sex creates or contributes to unity and oneness. Anytime we find sexual gratification from something that is capable of meeting our desires separate from our spouse, I think we are in dangerous territory. If our only objective in the marriage bed is to achieve orgasm and we are focused on that objective, we are missing the purpose of intimacy. If it takes a vibrator, or a porn movie, or any other sex toy in order for us to be sexually fulfilled, then we have misplaced our desires. You see, your spouse doesn't have to be physically present for a vibrator, dildo, or any other object or movie to "satisfy" you sexually and that, by it's very nature, detracts from a holy union. It is our spouse's selfless giving of their body and self that is solely meant to fulfill us intimately. 

To become addicted to being satisfied by anything that is not our spouse is not God's plan for sexual oneness. We need to check the state of our heart if pleasure during sex is not possible for us unless something apart from our spouse is needed in order to feel satisfied. God is faithful and more than capable of healing and mending this area of marriage! If a holy union is not our objective in the marriage bed and we have allowed self-pleasure and selfishness to defile it, we need to confess our sins to our Lord and ask that He create in us a clean heart, purify our minds, and help us to become more like Christ. Then and only then will we be living out our marriages in the way God created us to from the beginning. How I pray that each and every one of us, dear sisters, with have the humility and courage to seek that end. 

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled.
Hebrews 13:4

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Building Your Children's Lives Upon The Rock

There are WAY too many children raised in "Christian" homes that are walking away from the Lord. It truly grieves my heart. I have told you I am not too emotional but when I hear about another friend of my children who walked away from the Lord, I cry. It breaks my heart to know the enemy has stolen another one.

It seems to be happening way too much these days. Debi Pearl's daughter, Shalom, has written an incredible article about her upbringing and how wonderful it was. They were taught to save themselves completely for their future spouse, not even kissing until their wedding day. They loved and respected their parents. Their parents ALWAYS took the time to listen to them while they were growing up, so all five children ALWAYS listened to and respected the advice their parents gave them.

Their parents taught them to work hard and enjoy it. It was part of life and being a family. Now, they all work hard and are training their children to work hard. What their parents did best, however, was to love each other deeply. Children need security in this insecure, unstable world. They should get that security at home, then they won't be looking for it in another teenager's embrace, drugs, alcohol, etc.

Also, too many fathers are not involved enough with their children. They are chasing after the almighty dollar instead of investing their lives into their families. This should not be so! Michael Pearl heavily invested into his children's lives as Shalom pointed out ~

While growing up, we always worked as a team to maintain the home front and to put food on the table. We learned responsibility by being made responsible. We never felt as though work was an unwelcomed exception to life; it was life itself. The tomatoes we planted, weeded, watered, picked, packed, and sold were a necessary part of living. We did not just play and watch our dad do all the work. Yes, we played and had more fun than most kids I know of. {They were not allowed to sit around and watch television, play video games, sit in their rooms for hours every day away from their family, etc.} We would all work together, and then we would play together, Dad right in the middle of everything, cheering us on to be the best at our antics, whether dropping into the water from a rope swing or trying to catch a chicken.

Children need to be trained from the time they are babies to be self-disciplined, work hard, and most importantly, to love Jesus. These are the ingredients for a healthy childhood. Build your children's lives upon the Rock with a lot of love, hard work, and play and you will most likely see beautiful fruit from your hard work.

Labor not to be rich: cease from thine own wisdom.
Proverbs 23:4

***You can read all of Shalom's fabulous article HERE.