Thursday, August 21, 2014

Admiring Women Of Power

Kellie Martin wrote a book called Madam: A Novel Of New Orleans. She saw a picture of Mary Deubler {Madam} when she was in college and was so intrigued by her. She looked "confidant and strong" and she knew she wanted to study her to someday write a book about her.

Madam was a poor prostitute who rose to have a lot of power over New Orleans way before the women's right movement took place. Kellie loves and admires women of power and strength. I pondered that a moment and thought, "I sure don't admire the same kind of power and strength she is talking about!" I admire those whose power and strength come from the Lord and could care less about fame and fortune.

I love and admire Michelle Duggar who is raising many children to love Jesus and loves her husband. I love a woman in Illinois who lives in a trailer with nine children, home schools all of them, and adores her husband. I admire Mother Teresa who went about doing good deeds and loving the poor. I love young women who love their husbands by trying to please them and make their lives good. I love to hear of mothers who sacrifice to stay home with their children and train them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and unmarried young women who "care for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit."{I Corinthians 7:34}

When I see powerful and popular women on television and in politics who have small children at home, I am sad for them and for their family. I am sad that they have decided fame and fortune are more important than being with their families. I could care less if a woman ever ruled a city or a country. This just doesn't impress me in the least since I know that a woman has much more power to affect society by raising godly children who are lights in a dark world.

We all have a choice in how we live our lives. Some women pursue careers, fame, fortune, power, politics, etc. and they have every right to do that so don't think I am trying to take it away. {Newsflash! ~ I have no power to do that anyways.} I just want to be a small voice for those who don't want to pursue those things and encourage them in being godly young women, wives, mothers, and keepers at home. What you have chosen is a good thing, a very good thing.

It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to 
become great among you shall be your servant.
Matthew 20:26

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

She Brings Home The Bacon And Fries It Too

Whenever I encourage women to be keepers at home, I receive comments from women who can "do it all" and can't understand what the problem is with working full-time out of the home. I have incredibly wise readers and sometimes they respond to these women better than I do. Here is one example of what I mean ~

Don't see where there's a problem...I work all day and still manage to make home cooked dinners 7 nights a week. It's not that hard. If I'm home by 5 pm, there's plenty of time to cook dinner, clean up, throw a load of laundry in and straighten out the family room. So, I can bring home the bacon and fry it up too...and yes, I LIKE my career, it's taking advantage of my God-given abilities. So...if I decided to give it up, wouldn't I be wasting the gifts that God gave me? 

One of my readers responded to this woman this way ~

You may not see the problem, but it's definitely there. It's attitudes like this that keep the rest of us women in bondage. I'm happy that you can do it all, but you need to understand that this is not how most people--both men and women--are built. 

How many men come home from a full day's work, labor in the kitchen, clean up, straighten up the house, AND do laundry? If you're happy playing Superwoman, so be it. I would have given anything to have been told I didn't have to do it all while I was still working full time, and I know most of my friends are equally miserable. 

Our culture expects us to be Superwomen, running ourselves into the ground; God does not. Furthermore, to respond to the question you posed at the end, I believe that God gave me many gifts. The notion that I am somehow "wasting" my gifts by not using them in the workforce is absurd. Don't I have any influence on my husband, family, and children? 

I'm a gifted writer who is teaching my own children how to write. I'm a critical thinker who is teaching my children how to think critically. Whatever impact I make on the next generation is a valuable investment of my talents. Being a stay-at-home wife {and later, mother}, was good enough for our mothers and grandmothers. Why are we trying to reinvent the wheel, as though we somehow think we're better or more liberated than they are?  

I love learning from the women who read my blog. They give me many things to ponder and learn. Thank you, all of you who participate and give great responses like the one above! Many women are coming home to their families and loving it.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Romance Is A Long Sacrifice

Jennifer Lopez was interviewed recently and asked if she has figured out what real love is yet. She said her songs use to be about love and romance. Then after three divorces and several break-ups with boyfriends, she sang about heartache. Now, she is not quite sure what real love looks like.

Elspeth recently made this comment on a blog, “Most people are lying when they stand in front of the preacher and vow to stay for better or worse. What’s more, everyone including the preacher, knows they’re lying which makes the whole debacle even worse.”  {Elspeth has a great blog HERE.}

Real love is commitment, a vow until death do you part. Marriage is to resemble Christ and the Church. Christ is committed to those who believe in Him forever just as we are called to do with the spouse that we marry, through richer or poor, in sickness and in health, and for better or for worse. 

Until she understands what love is, Jennifer will never experience the joy of committed love. Our nation does not keeps its vows. It is a nation of vow breakers. However, we are the people of God and we should not be like the world. We should be keeping our vows come what may.

God tells us wives, "Let not the wife depart from her husband" and to the husbands, "Let not the husband put away his wife." {I Corinthians 10,11} Even if we are unfaithful to the Lord, He remains faithful to us. We should do the same with our spouse.

I have seen too many marriages that stayed together despite adultery and have enjoyed many happy years together. God can heal anything. When you divorce, you are saying that God is not powerful enough to put together what is broken. I tell you, He is powerful enough to put anything back together, including your marriage.

True love doesn't seek to be happy. True love seeks to be faithful. We can remain faithful because God tells us we can, "We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us."

I feel sorry for Jennifer Lopez and all those out there who badly want to figure out love. They are searching in all the wrong places and coming up holding the ashes of another burned up relationship. Until they realize that true love is commitment, not emotions, feelings, or happiness, they will NEVER find love.

As Ann Voskamp so beautifully says it, "Don’t let Hollywood define it {love}; 
let the pages of Truth define it: Romance is a long sacrifice."

Monday, August 18, 2014

Taking Your Husband's Last Name

Emily took Steven's last name last week. Her father walked her down the isle towards Steven. He stood between Emily and Steven. Her father has been her protection from the time she was born. He loved her, provided for her, and protected her. Steven went to her father awhile ago and asked her father for her hand in marriage.

Emily took her father's name when she was born since her father was her protector. When the three of them stood before the pastor, he asked Steven if he would protect, care for, and love Emily until one of them should die. Steven made a vow that he indeed would do all those things for her. 

Then the pastor asked Emily's father who was giving this woman to this man. He responded, "Her mother and I." A transfer of protection happened in that moment. Steven and Emily joined hands. When they were announced as husband and wife, the pastor said, "May I introduce to you Dr. and Mrs. Steven Alexander." Emily had taken Steven's name now that he had vowed to take over protection of Emily from her father.

Several years ago, I heard Dennis Prager tell this young man who was interested in a young woman but didn't want to take his last name to RUN! He encouraged the young man to never marry a woman who refused to take his last name. She would be preferring her father's protection and name over her husband's.

When we marry, we become one with our husband. He becomes our source of protection and provision and we become his help meet. It is such a beautiful picture of Christ and His church. When we believe in Jesus, we begin calling ourselves Christians. We take on a new name with a new identity in the same way that Emily now has a new name and a new identity.  She is Steven's help meet with his last name.

All of the young women in my family, my daughters and daughters-in-law, changed their names on their Facebook pages almost immediately after they got married. They were thrilled to take on their husbands' last names. They wanted to be clearly identified with them. It was something they were proud and very happy about, unlike many in our "enlightened" society.

 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, 
and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Ephesians 5:31

***HERE is a short video of their wedding!