Saturday, April 18, 2015

Pursuit of Happiness Thwarts Happiness

Our founders had it wrong. Instead of "the pursuit of happiness," they should have put "the pursuit of meaning" in the Declaration of Independence since "research has shown that having purpose and meaning in life increases overall well-being and life satisfaction...and ironically, the single-minded pursuit of happiness is leaving people less happy. It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness."

Viktor Frankl, a prominent Jewish psychiatrist, was put into a Nazi concentration camp with his pregnant wife and family. He was the only one that made it out alive. He saw how the prisoners with meaning and purpose to their lives had a better chance of surviving than those who did not.

Many couple are deciding not to have children these days since it will put a huge crimp in their lifestyle. Research shows that parents are less happy interacting with their children than they are exercising, eating, and watching television...Pleasures are fleeing. Meaning, on the other hand, is enduring...Having children is associated with the meaningful life and requires self-sacrifice, but it has been famously associated with low happiness among parents.

Therefore, many young couples don't want to make the short-term sacrifice to have children but instead, want to have short-term pleasure for long-term pain. The long-term pain of not having children to care for them in their old age, grandchildren to hug and play with and the fulfillment that comes with raising godly children who have a positive impact on the world around them.

Being human always points, and is directed, to something or someone other than oneself. The more one forgets himself - by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love - the more human he is. By devoting our lives to giving rather than taking, we also acknowledge that there is more to the good life than the pursuit of simple happiness. 

Your life at home raising children, being a help meet to your husband and taking care of your home gives you purpose in your life. Daily, you give your life away to gain something so much better, so much richer than any temporary pleasure could ever satisfy. God created us to work and to give our lives away as living sacrifices. Find joy in giving and serving, dear mothers. "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose" {Jim Elliot}. As our world is busy in the pursuit of  happiness, let's be busy in the pursuit of godliness and only do those things which please our Master.

Happy is that people, that is in such a case: 
yea, happy is that people, whose God is the LORD.
Psalm 144:15

Friday, April 17, 2015

Be Careful Little Eyes What You See!

Are you careful with what you see? Do you carefully avoid immoral and ungodly movies and television shows? "Many mothers who have never worked outside the home do very little in the home to strengthen their families: gossiping, watching ungodly and immoral soap operas and a host of other things can be as destructive as a working mother" {John MacArthur}

God commands that we dwell on whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise {Philippians 4:8} and He doesn't command this to us to keep us from having fun. He commands this for our good.

When you fill your mind with ungodly and immoral images, they give Satan a foothold in your life. It begins a slippery slope down into more and more sin. "Oh, that won't happen to me," you may think but the God who made you knows other wise and commands that you deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age {Titus 2:12}.

None of God's commands are intended to harm us but to protect us just as what you teach your children is intended to protect them and not harm them. God love us MORE than you love your children. He created us and knows what is best.

Casting Crowns has a song called Fade Away. I encourage you to listen to it. Here are some of the lyrics ~ 

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

We MUST not be like frogs in the pot that slowly get cooked to death because they don't know the fire is under them causing the water to come to a boil. We don't want to be that lukewarm church that God will spit out of His mouth. We must hate what is evil and cling to what is good. Teach your children to love purity and holiness. Teach them to love God's good ways and walk on His narrow path to life. Satan's broad path leads to destruction but God's path leads to eternal life.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Do You Love Your Husband More Than Your Children?

Ayelet Waldman caused quite a stir among women ten years when she said, "I love my husband more than my children!" She went on to say they enjoyed a passionate sex life  "If you focus all of your emotional passion on your children and you neglect the relationship that brought that family into existence...eventually, things can go really, really wrong...So many women today have become so focused on their children, they've developed these romantic entanglements with their children's lives and the husbands are secondary. They're left out." She went on to say that they have raised happy, contented, successful children.

It is so much easier to love our children than our husbands but let me tell you, those children grow up and leave and then you are left alone with your husband. I have seen couples who didn't raise their children with much discipline but the wives LOVED their husbands. Those children have grown up to be great adults!

I always have told women the greatest gift you can give your children is to love their daddy deeply. It discourages me when I see all pictures mothers are posting about their children on Facebook and them with their children but none with their husbands. Then I LOVE seeing mothers posting romantic pictures of themselves with their husbands! Far too many women prefer their children over their husbands, yet they were the ones who chose their husbands to make their babies!

Many mothers make their children the center of their universe. All of their energy and time goes into taking care of them. When children see their mothers making their fathers a priority, the children love it. Their greatest sense of security lies in the healthy relationship between mother and father. I have read blogs where the wives are always serve their husbands, first at dinner to show the children how much they honor and respect their husband, then throughout the day with joy, laughter and smiles. Children feel a sense of deep dread when they sense their parent's relationship deteriorating.

We must always remember that we were first created to be our husband's help meet. This is our primary role when we marry. I failed in this area. I thought Ken was a big boy and could take care of himself, and he did, which removed far too many connections between us. I listened to all the lies of society and around me instead of what God's Word plainly spells out. For some reason, all those verses about headship, submission, obedience, pleasing, etc. were hidden to me. Blindness comes when doing things the world's ways. Don't make the same mistake I made, and if you have, begin with me to make your husband your first priority. 

I have many a woman come to me in tears of despair crying out for an answer to restoring their relationship with their husband that is on the rocks, or going no where. The answers are always the same; get in God's Word daily and do what it calls you to do, and to be. Then go to your husband and ask him if he will forgive you for the years of  famine you have helped to create in your relationship. Ask him to gently coach you in all areas of what God calls you to be; a submissive, godly and chaste wife who puts her husband first and your household second, knowing that this is what pleases the Lord, and will restore your heart and marriage.

And the LORD God said, 
It is not good that the man should be alone; 
I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 2:18

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Following in the Footsteps of Our Great-Grandmothers

Our grandmothers and great grandmothers lived in a time when it was socially acceptable and even encouraged to be keepers at home; devoted to their husbands and families. Nobody questioned their honorable vocation and they did not have to apologize or try to rationalize their reasons for wanting to be at home. It was definitely politically correct for them to be stay-at-home wives and mothers raising their own children. They would have never thought about letting someone else raise their children! Being steadfast at home was their important position in society. 

Everything has dramatically changed in the last 70 years. Now, when women decide they want to leave their careers to be home full-time, they have to have a well-thought out defense ready and deliver it with precision to the many objections of family, friends, neighbors and stranger. They will even get ridiculed for wanting to be "just" a housewife, when they could be spending their time doing something so much more "worthwhile."

Knowing that we follow in the footsteps of millions of women who have been keepers at home from the beginning of time should bring us much comfort and the fact that God commands young women to be keepers at home. We are NOT an aberration! This upside down society that we presently live in is the exception to the rules which have, up until now, held fast since God created Adam and Eve in the garden.

The most tragic thing to me is the fact that this current thinking has even invaded the church. We are not allowed to teach women to be keepers at home for fear of offending those who work. Since when are we not allowed to teach Truth in the church for fear of offending? Truth usually offends since it is contrary to the ways of the world.

We must always remember that we are strangers and aliens down here. Our purpose in life isn't to get rich and famous. It is to raise up a godly generation and to be salt and light to the world around us. God tells women how they can do this: be keepers at home. When we obey His Word, we adorn it and when we disobey it, we blaspheme it.

Dear women, hold FAST to that which is true and good and real. Carry on this time-honored way of life to the next generation. We may not change the world, but we can have a big influence on future generations through our own families and by being keepers at home.

Thus says the LORD, "Stand by the ways and see and 
ask for the ancient paths, Where the good way is, and walk in it; 
And you will find rest for your souls."
Jeremiah 6:16