Friday, May 27, 2016

Seeking a Career "Just in Case"

There is a troubling trend going on now. More men are becoming stay-at-home dads while the mothers go off to work full-time. With women taking over the colleges and careers, once they get married, husbands often times don't want their wives giving up their careers with the financial security they provide. Some women make more then their husbands so the husbands decide he'll stay home while their wives goes to work. Many women today go to college and get careers just "in case;" not understanding the trap they may be setting for themselves in the future.

None of this is good or God's plan for us, women. God commands the men to be the providers and women to be keepers at home with the children. Once feminism convinced women to leave their homes and pursue higher education and careers, many women have become stuck in their careers because they make more money than their husband or their husband doesn't want to give up the money his wife is earning. It's a no-win situation!

Many men don't want to work much anymore or provide for their families. I mentor women in this situation. They are the breadwinners for their families. Once these women learn their God ordained role and want to come home, their husbands often won't let them because of their wife's career. Careers trap women. They don't free women. Do you see how Satan twists things that sound so good to become so bad for women?

Getting a career "just in case" leaves out God in the equation. I had a pastor's wife comment on a post and told me her husband wanted her to work "just in case." It's sad how far we have come from God's roles for us. When I was growing up, my pastor's wife worked full-time and was rarely around except for on Sunday mornings. If the church isn't going to teach and model women being at home taking care of the children and home, who is going to teach or model it? How can a church teach women to be keepers at home if the Pastor's wife has a full-time career? A woman just yesterday sent me an email about her pastor telling her she was "judging" another woman for sharing with her about being a keeper at home because she was working herself ragged in two jobs outside of her home. When we get scolded by a pastor for teaching women to be keepers at home, it's a sad day for the Church.

I don't care if your husband is better at home and wants to be with the children and you love your job and make a lot more money. This isn't God's plan for either of you. Just because our society tells us something is fine and dandy, doesn't mean it is. We need to stop doing what culture is doing and begin obeying what the Word commands us to do.

To end this post, I want to share what Kelly Reins shared on her Facebook page yesterday, "On to my next shop, an older woman strikes up a conversation with me. She's in her eighties and spoke of the change she's seen by the affects of feminism on womanhood. 'Women no longer have children nor want them. They have jobs. And men have changed too. They want wives with jobs.' I mention the feminism in our culture and her eyes light up. 'Women have bought it and it's destroyed their dignity.' She proceeds to show me a photo of her recent family reunion, it is full, edge to edge with family members, 'This isn't all of them,' she tells me. She is the mother of nine and her children are well on their way to building their large families. 'I wanted nothing to do with children. I thought they were brats because I was a brat. The Lord did it all and I got to be a part of it. Who would have known what a joy grandchildren would bring.' She encouraged me to study theology and 'Be absolutely sure not to believe anything that isn't true. I have a grandson in his early twenties graduating from college and he already has his home. He's told me that he absolutely will not marry anyone who doesn't understand her faith.' I've been invited to her home to visit and talk theology."

Trust in the Lord with all your heart 
and lean not on your own understanding. 
In all your ways acknowledge Him 
and He shall direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5, 6

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Forcing Your Opinions on Others

Women are strong today; strong in their opinions and strong in their desires to be like men. Many will argue their point so hard that it causes dissension and strife in their relationships. I know. I have done this but I don't want to do this any longer. I don't want to debate my husband or others in a way that tells them that I am right and they are wrong. It's more important to protect the relationship than it is to be right.

If you no longer want to force your opinions on others and get in long, drawn out arguments with your husband, simply give your opinion and then leave it there. It's good to allow others, especially our husbands, to have the last word. In fact, this is how you must do it since they are your head and the leader of your home. To insist on being right is to overstep the boundaries the Lord has given you. It is to be disrespectful and unsubmissive. Bottom line, it is sin.

We are commanded to have gentle and quiet spirits. This doesn't mean we don't share our opinions, convictions, beliefs and have discussions but if we do it in a forceful way and in order to prove we are right, then we are wrong even if we are right. Nobody likes a know-it-all and someone who forces their opinions on others. On the other hand, we love to be around someone who listens carefully, shares what they believe and then leaves it at that. They respect us enough to not argue what we believe to be true.

This is also part of being feminine. Feminine women shouldn't be ones who argue cases and debate others. If you watch the women who do this on television, it isn't feminine at all. It's women wanting to be like men. The Bible calls us to be peacemakers and to pursue peace with all men, not strive to be right and noticed.

This is difficult for those of us who have strong opinions. Women shouldn't be arguing over issues that have no eternal significance like organic or not organic, vaccinations or no vaccinations, public school or homeschool, sleep training or co-sleeping, spanking or not spanking, etc. Now, I have very strong opinions on all of these topics. If you have read my blog long enough, you know what my opinions are on these topics. Some of them, like public schools, would be a sin for me to send my children to since I am convicted that no Christian child should be sent to an anti-God government run institution all of their growing up years. I could argue all of these topics but I am not sure I have every persuaded anyone by arguing with them. I give my opinion. There may be a discussion {even a long discussion} and then drop it without saying anything mean, getting upset, or holding grudges. These topics are definitely not worth losing a friendship or relationship over. 

Even the topic of female Bible teachers. The more I have studied this topic, the more I am convicted that many of them teach some false doctrine and many teach men. However, if some women I know love some of these teachers, I give them my views and then allow the Spirit to convict them one way or another. Planting seeds is a gentle process. It's not forcing our convictions on someone but allowing others to come to their own convictions. 

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering.

Colossians 3:12

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Parental Absenteeism and the Empty House

Having a lot of children used to be normal. Now families with a lot of children are made to feel badly about it. Marriages staying committed "until death do they part" used to be normal but is not normal now. There are so few mothers at home anymore taking care of their children. What was once normal is now not normal at all! "Kids do not profit from parental absenteeism and the empty house can be a dangerous place...many find empty houses a convenient place to engage in self-destructive behavior." *

Studies have proven that children with absent mothers suffer more from depression, suicidal thoughts, sexual promiscuity, and these usually affect them greatly throughout their entire lives. The feeling of abandonment so many children have today causes them to participate in self-destructive habits since their feelings of being unloved are so strong. Children need their mothers home full-time. They need their mothers loving them deeply enough to be with them, discipline, and train them. They were never meant to be away from their mothers; their greatest source of security in this insecure world. "Moreover, as these insecure children grow up, the ramifications for society are disturbing. One psychologist has said that never before in American history have so many children been raised by strangers."* It has been a devastating experiment that has destroyed many children's lives.

If mothers have to work outside of the home, the children don't understand this since they need their mothers. All they know is that they have been abandoned by the one person who is supposed to love and protect them. Mothers should do everything they can to come home full-time and be there for their children. If your husband insists you work, buy the book Home By Choice and have all the statistics available to explain to your husband how detrimental it is for his children to be without you home full-time. Ask the Lord for wisdom in how to present it to your husband in a respectful way. Pray that He will convict and change your husband's mind. Live within your husband's income. This means to live carefully, frugally, and be content.

In order for your husband to listen to you, you should be a warm, loving, joyful, and affectionate wife towards him. Do everything in your power to be the wife God calls you to be. You don't want your appeal to fall on deaf ears. However, if he understands the importance to his children of having you home and the detrimental effect of you being gone, he most likely will do everything he can to have you home full-time.

Concerning single mothers: "While it is not my intention to heap guilt on single mothers who find they must work, they need to be aware of how their children are affected. You see, young children don't understand that the mother doesn't have a choice. I would challenge the single mother, if at all possible, to use her wits and ingenuity to turn her skills into profit at home."* 

"Feminists have largely controlled the public image of women. Mothers at home, who are impediments to the feminist agenda, have been largely ignored. In their thrust for subsidized child care, equal rights, and abortion rights, feminists have done violence to mothering with their constant proclamation that mothering is a 'low status job.'"*

Mothering is NOT a low status job. It is a job given to women by their Creator. Do you see how easily the enemy of our souls tries to deceive people into believing the opposite of what God has commanded? Stop listening to him and begin listening to the Lover of your soul. When you come home, you need to love your children deeply, speak words of life and Truth into their lives consistently, and teach them to work hard, be honest, love God, and be kind. Raising up godly children takes a lot of time and effort but it is well worth it. It is the most important ministry you have in your life.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 
neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
Isaiah 55:8

{*All quotes are from Home By Choice}

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Picture of a Beautiful Family

There is a big problem with sexual identity today. It's a very sad state of affairs. This wasn't the case when I was growing up. We all clearly knew the differences between male and female. Yes, women were doing the things men did like leaving their homes and having careers. Now children in elementary school are taught that they can be male or female. It's their choice as if we get to be whatever they want to be, regardless of the long-term destruction to society and the child themselves. Here are some encouraging words from John Piper about his growing up years and clearly knowing the differences between the roles the Lord has created from the beginning.

"I heard one time that women don’t sweat, they glow. Not true. My mother sweated. It would drip off the end of her long, sharp nose. Sometimes she would blow it off when her hands were pushing the wheelbarrow full of peat moss. Or she would wipe it with her sleeve between the strokes of a swing blade. Mother was strong. I can remember her arms even today thirty years later. They were big, and in the summertime they were bronze. 

But it never occurred to me to think of my mother and my father in the same category. Both were strong. Both were bright. Both were kind. Both would kiss me and both would spank me. Both were good with words. Both prayed with fervor and loved the Bible. But unmistakably my father was a man and my mother was a woman. They knew it and I knew it. And it was not mainly a biological fact. It was mainly a matter of personhood and relational dynamics.

When my father came home he was clearly the head of the house. He led in prayer at the table. He called the family together for devotions. He got us to Sunday School and worship. He drove the car. He guided the family to where we would sit. He made the decision to go to Howard Johnson’s for lunch. He led us to the table. He called for the waitress. He paid the check. He was the one we knew we would reckon with if we broke a family rule or were disrespectful to Mother. These were the happiest times for Mother. Oh, how she rejoiced to have Daddy home! She loved his leadership. Later, I learned that the Bible calls this 'submission.'" 

John Piper was blessed to be raised in a godly home. This is God's description for the family and contrary to popular opinion; it is a beautiful thing. Marry a godly man, bear children, and guide the home, as the Lord has commanded younger women to do. 

 Choose you this day whom ye will serve 
but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

Joshua 24:15