Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Working Mothers Cause Emotionally Crippled Children

We think we can go against God's plan for our life without any repercussions, but we can't! Dr. Armond Nicoli, a psychiatrist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School, wrote a paper on the trends that are causing the destruction of the family which leads to a generation of emotional cripples. He said the number one cause of the breakdown of the family which leads to emotionally crippled adults is divorce.

 "The trend toward quick and easy divorce and the ever increasing divorce rate subjects more and more children to physically and emotionally absent parents. The divorce rate has risen 700% in this century and it continues to rise. There is now one divorce for every 1.8 marriages. Over 1 million children a year are involved in divorce cases, and 13 million children under 18 now have one or both parents missing."*

This article was written in an edition of Christianity Today in 1979 so the statistics are probably much more dire today. Yep, I just checked out the present day number and it's a whopping 24 million children live without a father! The effects are devastating! This doctor also adds, "What has been shown to contribute most to the emotional development of the child is a close, warm, sustained and continuous relationship with both parents. Yet, certain trends in our society make this most difficult." And we wonder why the use of anti-depressants is sky-rocketing!

The second cause of the breakdown of the family resulting in emotionally crippled adults is married women with children working outside the home. Dr. Nicoli says, "My clinical experience indicates clearly that NO women with young children can do both at the same time, without sacrificing either the quality of work or the quality of child care."

Are we surprised? It shouldn't take a rocket scientist or a psychiatrist from Harvard to find out that God's Word is Truth. I get by far the most opposition from the posts I write about women being keepers at home as if I'm a judgmental, mean person. Am I writing this because I hate women and want to make them feel guilty? No, I write not only because God commands that I teach young women to be keepers at home but also I want to see strong marriages  with children being raised by their mothers.

I was watching Extreme Weight Loss last week and a mother had her son in daycare. One day, she received an emergency phone call from them and was told that her son had suffered a seizure and was non-responsive. The doctors were able to figure out that the young child had brain trauma from being shaken so hard. He almost died. He is a young adult now but will never be normal. This woman feels intense guilt for not taking care of her baby and leaving him in the hands of others. God commands women to be home with their children; protecting, nourishing, training, and guiding them. Children want and need their mothers. Mothers provide many things to their children that no one else can. God knew this because He created children to need their mothers and mothers to be with their children. Why else do you think we are blessed with a womb, breasts and a sensitive spirit?

Feminists talk about women power, yet the greatest power women can give their children, including their daughters, is to be home with them. We are seeing the destruction of mothers leaving the home everywhere; divorce is rampant and children are growing up lacking self-control with emotional problems. Little boys are being put on Ritalin at very young ages when they should be home playing outside; running, jumping and climbing. Girls are growing up to not want to cook nourishing food or take good care of their homes. Daughters need to have a godly example of a wife and homemaker, so they can grow up to be a godly wife and homemaker raising some of their own godly children, if the Lord blesses them with children, instead of being stuck in a 9:00 to 5:00 dead end job. This is what women fought so hard for? They should be home taking care of their families, if they have them. There would be a lot more families for women to take care of if this was where they put all of their time and energy into, instead of pursuing careers that keep them away from being able to be home full-time nurturing their husbands, children and home. It's all so messed up.

Women are also to be keepers at home to care for their husbands and be a help meet to them. When they work outside the home, they are exhausted. They usually don't have much time to care for their husband and be a help meet to him, plus they now expect their husband to help in their role as mother and keeper at home. This confusion of roles has led to MANY divorces; leading to the destruction of future generations. Women need to do everything in their power to keep their marriage strong. They need to love their husband and be home with their children; for this is the greatest gift they can give their children if they want the best chance for your children to grow up to be emotionally well-adjusted and content.

This is a picture Alyssa, my oldest daughter, posted on her Facebook page last night with these words, "Happy pre-birthday to this Mama of mine, who despite many years of pain and suffering is the happiest person I know. Thanks be to Jesus. Love you Mom!"  We went out for my birthday. Someone else raised her the first two years of her life while I worked as a teacher which I disliked intensely. However, after those two years, I was blessed to be home with her full-time, along with my other three children, all of their growing up years. I wouldn't have traded ONE second of any of it for any career, no matter how much it paid or how little we had to live on!

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3, 4

* Taken from John MacArthur's sermon on Divorce and Remarriage

Monday, August 31, 2015

The Exception Clause and Permanence of Marriage

This was a difficult post for me to write. I'm still not certain that what I write here is biblically sounds but I am always searching for Truth. Sharing Truth is MUCH more important to me than sharing my opinions. I am a Truth-seeker. I don't want to give my opinions in areas of eternal significance. I want to examine Scriptures carefully to see what God's Word teaches concerning godliness, not mine. Here is what John Piper had to say about opinions verses speaking Truth:

Don’t just spread opinions, but yes, do give careful, well-reasoned, biblically saturated, well informed, compassionate, Christ-exalting, humble convictions about the issues of our day. There is not enough of that. There is plenty of opinion, but there is not enough of that. Then let the chips fall where they will. If you get criticized, you get criticized. If we stop speaking because we are afraid of criticism of stirring up people’s slandering us, we will never communicate in any public forum. Don’t be intimidated by negative feedback.
Don’t stop speaking and living the truth. Do stop the buckshot of opinion scattering, but don’t stop the well-aimed rifle bullet of truth at the stronghold of error.

The exception clause that Jesus gave about divorce "except it be for fornication" baffles me. The verses in Mark 10:2-12 concerning the same words of Jesus on this issue don't give the exception clause. Luke 16:18 doesn't either. In fact, in Matthew, when asked by the Pharisees if a man can put away his wife, Jesus plainly answered that from the beginning He made them male and female; a man shall leave his parents and cleave to his wife becoming one flesh, thus rejecting Deuteronomy 24:1 which the Pharisees had brought up. He ended by saying that whatever God has joined together, let NO man put asunder. Paul, along with the other New Covenant writers, never gives adultery or any other reason as an excuse for divorce.

Consider Paul's teaching in 1 Corinthians 7. 

And unto the married I command, yet not I but the Lord, Let not the 
wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. He goes on to write, But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 

There's still no word about divorce here and he could have easily used it since he has used the word before but always in connection with sin. A believing spouse must let an unbelieving spouse leave if they want, but they don't pursue divorce or remarriage, since they are vow keepers regardless of what their spouse does.

Since I continue to seek Truth in this area, I listened to Voddie Buacham's sermon on "The Permanence of Marriage." He teaches that the Bible doesn't give any reason for divorce or remarriage. Some will argue that the innocent spouse whose wife or husband divorced them should be able to remarry. Is there ever truly a completely "innocent spouse?"  However, if the spouse who leaves and divorces the spouse who stays, I'm NOT convinced that the abandoned spouse can't remarry. For those who have been divorced and remarried, Pastor Baucham makes it very clear that they should confess their sin, but then commit to the permanence of the marriage they are presently in. This is the kind of God we serve! He forgives ALL sin. 

Did you notice that in the exception clause, Jesus used the word fornication in this verse instead of adultery? {KJV version} The definition of fornication is "sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons." If Jesus was talking about married people here, it seems He would have used the word "adultery" {voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse} since He used it in other parts of Scripture. Whosoever puts away his wife, and marries another, commits adultery: and whosoever marries her that is put away from her husband commits adultery. {Luke 16:18}. He used the word "adultery" in this verse from Luke but NOT in the exception clause. Why would He use the word "fornication" in the exception clause? Matthew was written mainly to the Jewish people who were still living under the Law. This is why the book of Matthew is filled with Messianic prophesy. 

Remember when Joseph and Mary were betrothed and she was found pregnant. This is what was written about this situation since Joseph thought she had committed fornication; then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily {Matthew 1:19}. "Put her away" means "divorce." They weren't even married yet; how could this be?

During the betrothal period, before the marriage ceremony and consummation, if a soon-to-be wife is found to be "unclean," the man is allowed to divorce her. Perhaps Jesus is giving the exception clause for those who find that their wives have fornicated before the actual ceremony. I believe He would have used the word "adultery" if He meant they had already gone through the marriage ceremony, consummated their marriage and became one flesh. Besides all this, this exception clause is in only ONE book in the entire New Testament, yet many give it too much weight. We must always take the Bible as a whole; not give one little phrase much weight weight but measure it against the entire New Covenant which was written for us and teaches us to forgive and love one another. Nowhere else in the other Gospels or books of the New Covenant is divorce allowed.

Voddie Baucham gives many examples of marriages that are NOT biblical reasons for divorce: imprisonment, alcoholism, drug addiction, adultery, gambling, etc. He admits this is hard teaching, but Truth is hard. It's a narrow road we walk on. His church does, however, help protect women and children who may be in harm due to a disobedient husband; as all churches should do and even call the authorities when needed. {If a woman ever came to me who was married to a truly evil man like a murderer or a child molester, it would be VERY difficult for me not to recommend her getting a divorce.}

According to the book of Hebrews, all God cares about is that we keep our faith in Him until the end. He will use trials and sufferings in our life to refine our faith and cause us to depend upon Him. Only those who endure until the end, will be saved. The ONLY unforgivable sin is unbelief. MANY have suffered horribly for their faith.

Others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonment: They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented; Of whom the world was not worthy: they wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth. {Hebrews 11}

Yes, life down here is hard and some of you are married to very disobedient husbands. If these people could endure being stoned and tormented for their faith, surely you can endure a disobedient husband with the help of godly people in your life. Your husband may be just the thing that God will use in your life to refine your faith and make you more like Jesus. This is NOT our home. We have an everlasting home that will be perfect. Cling to this hope, which will be a reality one day soon.

But without faith it is impossible to please Him: 
for he that comes to God must believe that 
He is and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.
Hebrews 11:6

***Next Monday, September 7th, I'm going to be starting a 10-week series using Nancy Leigh DeMoss' study guide called "Interior Design: Ten Elements of Biblical Womanhood." You can order it HERE if you would like to follow along. Some of the chapters include: Discernment, Affection, Discipline, Virtue, Disposition, and Beauty. It will be an encouraging and convicting study. Please join us!

The picture is my son, Steven, with his bride, Emily. They continue to love each other
 deeply. They plan on being in the "honeymoon" phase of marriage all of their days!

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Infanticide ~ 40 Years of Child Murder on the Altar of Sanger

{This is a guest post by Andrea Roltgen. She's madly in love with her husband and a mother to ten children. The oldest is a homeschool graduate and in the USAF and the youngest are twins with every age in between. She's anti-feminist and relishes her role as wife, mother, homemaker and most importantly, a follower of Christ!}

In January, Margaret Sanger's disciples and abortion lovers have much to celebrate. It will be the 40th year of legally sanctioned abortions in the United States. At the time I am writing this, the death toll of murdered babies via abortion methods is 55,110,996, and it climbs every few seconds.

These murdered babies are predominately black babies. Where are the crusaders for social and racial justice, for the worst racist genocide in human history?

Whatever the intent of the abortion industry may be, by functional standards, abortion is a racist institution. In the United States, black children are aborted at 5 times the rate of white children and Hispanic children don't fare much better. Abortion is the leading cause of death among black Americans. We can debate the racial intent of Planned Parenthood past and present, but we cannot debate the results. Abortion is by no means an equal opportunity killer.

After understanding the racist drive of abortion, we can also understand that abortion also kills white babies. It kills babies of Asian descent, Middle Eastern, and European. The murdered are of every race and economic parentage. They are every gender. They were growing in the wombs of teen mothers, single career women, married women and women who were "done" having babies, and therefore didn't welcome the surprise of a pregnancy.

These babies were created by the Lord God with a soul and a purpose. These babies are all denied their right to life:  given to them not by their mothers, their fathers, the government or anyone or anything else, but by their Creator. They will never take a breath {unless, of course, the abortion is botched, and then they will be gasping for air until their lives are extinguished after birth}, they will never make a choice of their own. These children will never bless the heart of another with their smile, their inquisitiveness or their giving hearts.  While the woman and man who were instrumental in the pro-creation of the baby may not want what God calls a blessing, it is a guarantee that there are hundreds more mothers and fathers willing to love and raise the child. That baby, that abortionists call a "blob of tissue," is only a short time away from merely wanting to be held, loved and cared for. Instead, they are burned alive, dismembered, and their skulls crushed.

Women are lied to in our culture about the effects of abortion on their own souls.  While they can be forgiven for their murderous activity if they humbly desire to be, our culture teaches there is nothing to be ashamed of in abortion, and therefore they find nothing to seek forgiveness for. However, their hearts will forever carry an imprint of a tiny life they chose to extinguish. They are lied to when they are told that abortions are "safe". They are lied to when they are told they will "be just fine-like nothing ever happened", and they are certainly lied to when they are told that what and who they carry within them is not a person at all.

Women who have had abortion and regret it, find it difficult to move beyond the abortion. For the remainder, they often become the statistics that show that most women who undergo abortion, will have more than one in their lifetime.  Statistics show that 45% of all abortions are for repeat aborters. The claims that abortions are a "one time rescue," a)  aren't true, and b)  don't make the death of any of the babies any less heinous.

In our time of great apostasy, many lie about the truth of what abortion is, what it does, and the dangerous ripples that flow generations from it's sinful core. Many distort or reduce it's vicious and vile violence that is perpetrated on the most innocent among us. Many simply close their eyes. Many laugh at parallels to ancient cult followers and devil worshippers who kill their own children.  Like the ancient worship and child sacrifice to the "god" Molech, our sons and daughters are sacrificed on the altar of self worship.

 Moloch was one of the false gods that Israel would worship during its periods of apostasy.  This false deity is associated with Ammon in 1 Kings 11:7, "Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the detestable idol of Moab, on the mountain which is east of Jerusalem, and for Molech the detestable idol of the sons of Ammon."

One of the practices of the cult that worshipped Moloch was to sacrifice their children.   Of course, this was forbidden by God's word: Leviticus 18:21 says, "Neither shall you give any of your offspring to offer them to Molech, nor shall you profane the name of your God; I am the Lord."  {See also Leviticus 18:2120:2-52 Kings 23:10Jeremiah 32:35}

In some passages the reference is clearly to a deity to whom human sacrifice was made, particularly in the Valley of Hinnom on the SW of the Jerusalem hill {2 Kings 23:10Jeremiah 32:35} at a site known as Topheth {‘fire pit’ in Syriac}.1

The ancients would heat this idol up with fire until it was glowing, then they would take their newborn babies, place them on the arms of the idol, and watch them burn to death.  I can't help but compare today's abortion massacre to the sacrifice of children by these ancient pagans.  In both, innocent life is destroyed for the gain of the parent.

I can't help but compare the 40 years of "legal" infanticide to the sacrifice of children to pagan 'gods', either. While the abortion supporters celebrate their freedom of choice in January, be assured, God is not going to remain silent on the slaughter of the innocent forever. A nation who sacrifices it's children is a nation who has lost God's protection and favor. Thank God we are judged according to our own hearts, and not as a collective nation, for those among us working to end abortion, and crying tears for the innocent lives lost, we can feel hopeless in a sea of murder. Fear not, God sees the hearts of those who are repulsed at the culture of murder of the pre-born. Their wicked celebrations and altars of false gods of self, will not last forever.

He that justifieth the wicked, and he that condemneth the just, 
even they both are abomination to the LORD. 
Proverbs 17:15

..lest they drink and forget what the law decrees, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
Proverbs 31:5

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.
Isaiah 5:20

And many will follow their destructive ways, because of whom the way of truth will be blasphemed. By covetousness they will exploit you with deceptive words; for a long time their judgment has not been idle, and their destruction does not slumber.
2 Peter 2:2-3

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Nine Tips for Enduring Pregnancy

As many of you know, I have four children yet I’ve been pregnant five times. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage so I was thrilled to finally be pregnant again. All I ever wanted in life was to be a wife and mom. Since I hadn’t been too sick with my first pregnancy, I was happy I was sick with my second one since I had heard that the sicker you are, the healthier your baby is going to be. {I don’t think this is the case for all women, but for me it seemed to be.}

 I didn't go for a doctor's appointment until I was almost five months since I felt the less intervention, the better. I only had one sonogram and that was with my first live pregnancy since I had had a miscarriage prior to this one. Back then, doctors didn't do much or require much testing during pregnancy which I liked since I would have never had an abortion any way. We didn't know if it was a boy or girl until the moment the baby was born and was flipped over! I worked during this pregnancy and the next so this was difficult but I do have some tips for all of you who are thinking about getting pregnant or are pregnant.

1) Make sure you get plenty of rest. Even when I was working, during any break, I would rest my head on the table and then when I got home. A lot is going on in your body while you are pregnant. You are creating another human being! When I was home full-time with my last two pregnancies, I would put the children down for a nap, and then I would take a nap or rest while listening to praise music.

2)  Make sure you are eating as healthy as you can. When I was sick during the first few months, I would live on raw almonds, baked potatoes with avocado and bananas. It was about all I could stomach but at least it was all nourishing food. It’s important to nourish your body while you are pregnant since a baby is being created in you! Eat healthy fats {olive oil, butter, coconut oil, etc. since these will prevent stretch marks}, protein from healthy sources, and plenty of fruits and vegetables. These should be your main source of nutrition.

3) Stay away from junk food: sugar, caffeine, processed foods, and white flour. These are not nourishing at all but actually health destroying. I never had a problem with retention of water {edema} since I didn’t eat any junk. I gained around 20 pounds with each of my children and they were all around the seven pound mark. I remember reading this journal {highly recommended} of a woman who had ten children. She noticed that each child was getting bigger and she got gestational diabetes which she didn't get with her earlier babies. She concluded it was due to eating too much junk!

4) Drink a lot of water. Since the volume of blood and water is going to be much greater while housing a baby, you need to make sure you are drinking plenty of good, filtered water.

5) Always wear comfortable clothing and shoes. It is not worth backaches and being uncomfortable to look in style and fancy. You don’t want to do anything that risks the health of you or your baby by wearing something that is too tight or uncomfortable.

6) Try natural remedies for sicknesses or pain. I have used many different treatments for my illnesses and pain that didn’t include drugs and were not harmful to my health. All drugs are toxic to the human body and anything you ingest will also go to your baby. For example, zofran is sometimes used for morning sickness but did you know about all the side effects from using it? Therefore, if at all possible, use essential oils, supplements, foods, etc. to deal with what ails you, but make sure they are safe for pregnant women before taking anything.

7) At the end of a long day, try putting your feet up at night. My feet never did get swollen since I never retained water but pregnancy is still hard on feet; carrying the extra weight. Find a comfortable place, get a lot of pillows and rest. Read a good book or watch an uplifting television show. Dwell on the lovely and the good. You don't need to know all about the bad things happening in the world!

8) Take one day at a time. Pregnancy for most women is not that easy with morning sickness, back pain, contractions, etc. Try to not worry and rest in the Lord for strength. I was very sick with my fourth baby and I had three young children but the Lord brought me through. He is faithful to do this for His children.

9) Try to keep your joy! I know pregnancy can be difficult; after all, it is a result of sin that it is hard. However, there is joy when you hold that precious baby in your arms! There is NO greater joy that to have children walking in Truth. All four of our children are walking in truth and they have been our greatest joy in life!

Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world.
John 16:21

***Remember, I'm NOT a doctor. I'm just a homemaker who loves to research 
natural cures and have found many that have worked for my family and me. Information I have given is for educational and informational purposes only and to motivate you to make your own health care and dietary decisions based upon your own research and in partnership with your health care provider. Any statements or claims about the possible health benefits conferred by any foods or supplements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Nothing you read here should be relied upon to determine dietary changes, a medical diagnosis or course of treatment.