Taking Pictures With Tongues Out

As many of you know, I have two new granddaughters. One was born in July and the other in August. They are beautiful and fun to watch. We laugh when their little tongues come continually out of their mouths. When they toot, we think it's funny. When they burp, we all laugh and are happy they got their air out so it won't cause a tummy ache. All of their noises are so sweet to all of us. However, when grown women are doing these things, they aren't funny or cute anymore. It is disgusting and they are not being discreet.

Sticking out your tongue for pictures and having tooting and burping contests are common among women today. I hear it directly from them. They think it's funny. The Bible tells us otherwise: When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. (1 Corinthians 13:11) Even as our children grew older, they never stuck their tongues out or looked like the girl in the picture. We would never have allowed this. They didn't burp or toot on purpose in front of us either. (I actually never heard them burp since they had healthy gallbladders.) We taught them from a young age to have manners. 

 Godly women are called to be discreet and not do anything to draw attention to themselves. They are not children anymore and should not do childish things. It's amazing that I even have to teach younger women this today. When I was growing up, we never did such things. We would have been mortified! If we had to pass gas, we held it until we were alone. (If you have a lot of gas, you need to find out to heal your digestive system and I am sure less sugar and more real foods with probiotics will help.)

I don't ever remember having a problem with burping. I have heard that if you burp a lot, you are having problem with your gall bladder so check out ways to heal your gallbladder. (Ken had many horrible gall bladder attacks but was able to heal it completely.) I would have never stuck out my tongue for pictures, ever. When I see women do this, it looks disgusting. Tongues are meant to help us talk and eat to enjoy our food, not show off to other people, especially when they are coated with a thick white film which usually means they eat too much dairy and other unhealthy foods. (You may want to check out how to heal this too.)

Be a godly feminine woman. Show discretion in all that you do and don't try to gain attention by doing something that is ugly. You are grown up now and have put childish ways behind you. No longer give into your feelings and emotions but be guided by the clear teachings of the Word of God. Don't follow what culture is doing but follow what the Lord wants you to do: "Let it be the hidden person of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price" (1 Peter 3:4).

Next time someone takes a picture of you, stand up tall and smile with the tongue in where it's supposed to be. You will look much more feminine and pretty this way.

Men are to Blame for Everything!

According to many people today, men are to blame for everything! When women wear skimpy bikinis with their entire bottoms showing and most of their breasts causing men to lust after them, it is entirely the man’s fault according to many women and teaching young women to be modest and discreet (not drawing attention to themselves) is shaming women. They tell me that men need to be taught to respect women, regardless of how women dress or act.

These people are in La La land and have made up their own rules which are foolishness. In the Bible, God usually puts nakedness and shame together. Once sin entered into the world, Adam and Eve felt shame and tried to cover themselves up with leaves but God covered them up with a coat. He knew men would lust after the nakedness of any woman they saw and that women would try to dress provocatively in order to cause men to lust after them. All of this is in His Word and this is why He commands women to be modest and discreet and Jesus speaks about the sin of men lusting (Matthew 5:28).

Are men the only ones at fault when they lust after a woman dressed immodestly? No, they are both at fault. She is held responsible, however, for causing another to stumble. Women are not innocent. Women sin just as much as men but some of their sins are different. Women generally want to control their husbands through moods, withholding sex, nagging, quarreling, etc. They are far from perfect, regardless of what our culture is teaching today through sitcoms and movies. Women are not the superior of the sexes. In fact, the Bible teaches that a wise woman builds her home up and a foolish one tears it down with her own hands. Women can win their disobedient husband without a word by being in subjection to their husbands and having godly behavior. God has given both sexes power in different ways and we ought to always use the power the Lord has given us to build up and glorify God and not abuse it in any way.

Teach your daughters a sense shame in showing their nakedness to every other man except for their future husband. We should feel shame about being immodest and this culture has lost all shame about their nakedness. Teach them modesty from the time they are young girls; never allowing them to run around naked or scantily clad. 

Women, obey the Lord in the things He has commanded you to obey Him in and leave the areas He has commanded men to obey to men. We have no ability to change our husbands or other men but we do need to be responsible with what the Lord has given us. Dress modestly and discreetly. Be known for good works rather than for what you look like or own. Build up your homes up through gentleness, kindness, and love. Always respect and submit to your husband and appreciate everything good that he does for you. Be women of honor and dignity, thus giving God all the glory. Stop listening to the foolishness of this world and begin living knowing you will one day stand before the Lord and give an account to Him for how you alone lived your life on this earth.

As Judy wrote on my Facebook page: "We should ask the question, if I was suddenly ushered into the Lord's Holy presence in heaven and the company of angels, would I feel the least bit of shame? Also, for whose glory am I dressing, mine or God's?"

Thy nakedness shall be uncovered, yea, thy shame shall be seen.

Isaiah 47:3

Behold, I am against thee, said the Lord of hosts; and I will discover thy skirts upon they face, and I will shew the nations thy nakedness, and the kingdoms thy shame.

Nahum 3:5

I counsel thee to buy…white raiment, that thou may be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness does not appear.

Revelation 3:18

Do You Sexually Harass Men By the Way You Dress?

Margaret Buchanan said "By dressing in a provocative way, girls and women are actually sexually harassing men." I agree with this statement 100%. Wise women know that dressing immodestly causes men to lust. This is one of the reasons the Lord commands women to be modest, discreet, and chaste. We are not to do anything to cause our brothers to stumble and we are responsible for how we dress and our actions. Most of you know what the word 'modest' means but do you understand what 'discreet' means for you?

The Bible calls women to be discreet: "that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" {Titus 2:4, 5}. The definition of discreet is "not likely to be seen or noticed by many people." 

Many women today are anything but discreet. They do anything they can to be noticed by others by what and how little they wear, how much makeup and jewelry they wear, how fancy their hair is done, how perfectly decorated their homes are, the cars they drive, how much money they have, how many vacations they go on, sending naked pictures to others, and the list goes on and on. We, as godly Christian women, should do nothing to draw attention to ourselves, including burping, intentionally passing gas, or other actions that are unfeminine and indiscreet. 

In 1 Timothy 2:9 women are told to adorn themselves with shamefacedness which means to be modest and bashful, not showy or extravagant. We should not be flagrant in word or deed and cover our bodies in modesty, not drawing attention to ourselves or body. This is so contrary for most women today. Many do everything they can to be sexy and beautiful and draw attention to themselves no matter what the cost. The gods of our culture have become looks and trying not to age. 

Our nation idolizes self. You can clearly see this by the number of selfies people are taking of themselves and checking often to see how many "likes" they receive. Many young women are even sending naked pictures of themselves to others seeking attention. The Bible states that in the end times, people will be "lovers of themselves." People today are clearly lovers of themselves and have no problem with what they are wearing and doing and how it affects the men in their line of vision.

We should never live this way. Yes, we should look neat and clean but this doesn't take much time if we're not wearing much makeup or fancy clothes. God wants us to adorn ourselves with good works: living in submission to our husbands, loving and training our children, keeping a clean and tidy home for our family, fixing them nourishing food, being hospitable to others, and helping those in need. This should be what we are focused upon instead. 

In all these good works, we should be giving glory and thankfulness to the Lord from whom all blessings flow. When your life is directed towards good works instead of drawing attention to yourself, and harassing men by dressing immodestly, you are storing your treasures in heaven and not drawing undue attention towards yourself. The ones who will appreciate you the most will be your family and those you have helped. This is what pleases the Lord since He cares more about what is on the inside than the outside. However, our actions and what we wear show what is in our heart. 

What are you storing in your heart? Time in the Word and pursuing godliness or flirting with the world and doing whatever you can to draw undue attention to yourself?

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls or costly array.
1 Timothy 2:9

Modest Women Have Beautiful Spirits

Modesty is not a popular word in our culture; neither is submission, keeper at home, and chaste come to think of it. I asked women in the chat room what modesty meant to them and received some great responses! 

Modesty is clothing yourself in a way that does not attract undue attention, and serves to bring interest to your face, your character, and what you have to say instead of your body.

Modesty is clothing that is not drawing attention to yourself in any way...including showing off or showing too much of your body, highlighting your income/status/position, and even drawing attention by being sloppy/not put together. I personally include the wearing of bright colors or patterns. I just try to not have attention on ME. I would rather others not remember my outfit, and instead remember the smile I wear or the tone of my voice when speaking in love to them

I try to apply the opposite of the saying, "If you've got it, flaunt it." Maybe we have a nice income that is abundant. This doesn’t mean I need to dress and live to show off my income bracket. Thinking eternally is what matters. Our clothes will burn in the end and our money, too. Our faith, hope, love, good works, character, etc. are those that will remain. These are worthy of showing off!!

Modesty to me is how we present ourselves to others. It goes beyond how we dress. It includes our attitude, how we speak, how we think, our manners, and how we treat others. It's a form of ministering to others. From my husband's perspective, a modest woman is someone with a beautiful spirit, but also a woman who takes good care of herself, doesn't overeat, is pleasant, joyful, positive, dresses stylishly but not provocatively, is discreet but lovely in appearance, wears natural looking makeup, shaves her legs and wears deodorant and a feminine perfume. I mentioned that because we once met a Christian lady who believed God wanted her to keep her body as natural and as modest as possible, so she didn't use deodorant, nor shaved. It bothered both of us, but it was extremely difficult for my husband to even speak to her.

Just asked my husband what his definition of modesty is and he answered, "Someone who is not self-centered."

"I define modesty as covering yourself up and not presenting yourself in a sexual way."

My husband made me giggle when he answered "How the Bates and Duggars dress and act. Modest is humble." Those families have been a blessing to us. 

As you can see from these responses, everyone knows when they see a modest woman. They stand out in the crowd today because they are different. People are attracted to a gracious woman of integrity who doesn't demand attention by the way she talks, dresses, or acts. Let's commit to being modest women in all areas of our life. This mean consciously thinking before speaking and acting. After doing this for a while, it will become a habit that comes naturally. God commands that we be separate from the world. Let's be separate in everything since the world today is ugly and the Lord is a God of beauty and order. May we all reflect this beauty and order by having beautiful spirits.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, 
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30

Her Daughter Sews Thong Bathing Suits

Recently, I was talking with an acquaintance of mine. She is not a believer and knew about my blog so she asked me about it. She mentioned that she was a feminist. I asked her if she wants to be like a man. She exclaimed, "No! I love it when my husband opens doors for me and grabs me by the elbow to help me across the street." Concerning my viral post, she responded, "I don't want my husband to do the housework. He works so hard all day. He certainly does not need to do housework." {So far, she doesn't sound much like a feminist!} Later on, she told me about her daughter who sews bathing suits to sell. I asked her for the web page. She told me, "Oh, you wouldn't like them. They are the thong type bathing suits." I asked her,"Doesn't she know what this does to men?" She didn't know how to answer. 

How would an unbeliever respond to a statement such as this one? I pondered it a while after talking with her. Does she not care that her daughter is making bathing suits for others that are promiscuous and make it difficult for men to not lust? Do women of the world even care about things like this or do they not think about it? Are they so immersed in today's culture that they simply go along with the flow and do as it does? 

As believers, we live by a higher standard, the Lord's standard. Our actions mean something. What we wear says something about us. We should know how men think and what can provoke them to lust knowing that lust is not a thing of the Lord. The lust of the eyes is one of the three main sins: the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. Should we not live our lives with careful introspection to make sure we are living for the Lord and bringing Him glory instead of living for our own lusts and satisfaction?

Even in the ministry we have in the home, we should daily be pointing our children to the Lord and to goodness and away from the things of the world. Let them see the wonder of living for the Lord. Don't make it burdensome, but show them how being in the center of His will is the safest place to be. Teach your children from the time they are young to dwell on the lovely and the good while being an example to them of living this way. Make sure they are dressed modestly as children and have a sense of shame in being naked and showing too much flesh to others. No their bottoms shouldn't be showing out in public, even as children. As your daughters grow older, explain the male sexual appetite so they are well aware of not doing anything to inflame it. For all believers are the body of Christ and must do nothing that blasphemes His Holy Name.

The fact that this woman knew I wouldn't like to see her daughter's website means that she knows her daughter's bathing suits are below my standards. I am glad that she realizes that I have higher standards than most in our culture. Do you? Do others realize that your standards are higher than cultures by the way you live your life and the clothes you wear? If you are a believer in Christ Jesus, they should since we are called to be separate from the ways of the world. We live by godly standards since this isn't our home. Our home is with Christ and it is far more valuable than anything we have down here.

Wherefore come out from among them,
 and be ye separate, saith the Lord, 
and touch not the unclean thing; 
and I will receive you.
2 Corinthians 6:16

Softness and Femininity in Women

Years ago, Ken told me that what men love and enjoy about women is their softness; their softness in the way they feel and their femininity, the way they acted. Most women have lost the femininity part due to the feminist air they have breathed their entire lives. Being a feminist is the complete opposite of being feminine. Too many women today aren't soft in the way they act. They talk loudly, are bossy, and controlling. 

A soft woman doesn't speak loudly. She isn't argumentative and demanding. She is never harsh with others. She doesn't insist on her own way and have angry outbursts when things don't go her way. She listens carefully to others. She is warm, affectionate and smiles often. She loves and serves others, not wanting the best for herself. She dresses modestly and is discreet in her behavior; not wanting to draw attention to herself. She is sober and takes the Word of God seriously. She is moderate in her eating. She is gentle and patient with others and forgives easily. She is a feminine woman who loves her husband and children deeply.

If she is treated poorly by others or left out, she doesn't have a pity party but uses this time to thank the Lord for all the good in her life. She dwells on the lovely and the good in others instead of having a critical attitude towards others. She believes the best about others. She works hard and takes good care of her family and home. These are the priorities in her life. She doesn't argue her point over and over but allows the other person to have the last word. 

She is content with her life. She doesn't spend time envying others and what they have but finds way to be rejoicing in the Lord always. She reads the Word almost every day and soaks in the wisdom of the Lord. She loves goodness and faithfulness. She wants these words to define her life. She lives for her Master and desires to please Him in all that she does. 

Seek to be soft and feminine, women. Yes, this list might seem overwhelming but never forget that the God of the universe has sent His Spirit to live inside of us. He promises us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us and what He commands us to do is not burdensome. However, we must be continually renewing our minds with Truth by studying and reading His Word. This is how we are transformed. God uses His powerful and living Word to change us into Christ's image but we must put on the full armor of the Lord.

Being soft and feminine is not common in today's culture but we live by a different drumbeat than they do. Seek wisdom with the wise and not the foolish. Keep your thoughts on things above. Remember that everything around us is decaying and heading for destruction. However, we are saved from the wrath to come so we have much to be thankful for. Be cheerful. This draws others to you. It may even cause them to want what you have so be ready to tell them. If you are a soft and feminine woman, your husband is blessed to be married to you.

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, 

in that which is not corruptible, 

even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, 

which is in the sight of God of great price.

1 Peter 3:4

Modesty and Homecoming Court

It is said that the church is ten years behind the culture in accepting its views. It seems to be true. Many "Christians" today don't look nor act any different than those of the culture. Let's take the issue of modesty. I went to a very large public high school in the middle of the 1970s. It was after the sexual revolution of the 1960s so clothes were coming off. However, the picture above is of my Homecoming court. {I am the one on the left.} These dresses would be considered very modest by today's standards. This is how the girls dressed for Homecoming and Prom back then. During the dances, the music was loud and everyone was moving all around. There were slow dances and it would be like hugging the one we were dancing with. No, it wasn't proper since I'm sure it was difficult for the guys but this is the way it was back then.

This picture below is from my son's Homecoming Court. He attended a private Christian High School.

These dresses are very low cut and all made out of slinky material that looks more like lingerie than dresses and this is at a Christian High School! I can't imagine what they look like at public high schools now. Most young women have no idea how to dress modestly today, not even Christian ones. Whatever is in style, they wear, regardless of whether or not it is modest. They tried very hard at this Christian high school to keep the girls modest but it was difficult. If they came to the Homecoming dance or Prom and their dresses were too low cut, they would have to wear napkins in the front of their dress. 

During their dances, the teachers would have to roam the floor of the dance floor since some of the kids wanted to "freak dance" together; a kind of mimicking sexual intercourse and foreplay. The kids who wanted to do this would get in the center of the floor and do this; trying to hide from the teachers. I am sure it has gotten much worse today but when you put immodestly dressed young women, along with high testosterone filled young guys together in the same room swaying all over the place, bad and improper things are bound to happen. We wonder why fornication among "Christian" kids is as high as the world's kids. 

The couple who is the head of premarital counseling at the huge church right near us told Ken and me, when we were some of the counselors, that most engaged couples are living together. He said when he started 30 years ago, none of them were. 

We must train our daughters up to know better than this. They need to dress according to biblical standards, not the standards of our culture. God calls women to be shamefacedness; not drawing attention to ourselves. We are to draw attention to Christ in us with a meek and quiet spirit; completely opposite of what today's Christian women are being taught. We aren't supposed to spend a lot of money on "costly array" for ourselves but be known for our good works instead. Teach them to save themselves sexually for their husbands, so they won't have the scars and guilt of having sexual relations before marriage.

Desire to please the Lord more than anyone else. Obey Him and you will reap His blessings. This all comes down to a heart issue, women. Do you have a heart for the Lord and wanting to honor Him in all you do or do you have a heart for yourself and wanting to please yourself instead?

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But which becometh women professing godliness with good works.

1 TImothy 2:9, 10

Making Idols Out of Idols

Written by TheJoyFilledWife

I once had an inspiring conversation with a friend about her journey toward dressing more modestly. She shared how the Lord had convicted her and opened her eyes to the stumbling block her clothing choices were, not only men, but to other women as well. Our eyes are naturally drawn toward particular areas of women’s bodies when they wear certain clothing and she didn’t want to be a temptation to others or distract from being a witness for Christ. 

She also took a look at the current fashion trends and realized that femininity and masculinity are severely under attack in our “gender-neutral” obsessed society. With men dressing more feminine and women dressing and acting more masculine by the day, the lines are becoming visually blurred. Because of this, she wanted to be a living example of godly femininity and modesty in word, deed, and attire. I was encouraged to see my sister in Christ taking her faith so seriously and doing her best to not become a stumbling block to men or a poor example to other women. What impacted me as well was her humble spirit when others would approach her and ask why she was dressing differently than before. She was never condemning, but responded with encouragement and grace. She impacted many women she came across in a positive way.

One day, many years later, she and I ran into each other at a friend’s house and I noticed that she suddenly went back to dressing how she had before. I was very caught off-guard, especially since she had been such a positive example to other women in this area. I gently asked her about her change in attire and she said that she decided to go back to dressing the way she used to because dressing modestly had “become an idol” to her. I was very surprised by her comment, since she had always displayed genuine humility in this area, and we all know that out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45). Secondly, I was surprised by the fact that, in striving to remove the “idol” she had in her heart, she ended up trading one sin for a more contagious one, as she now has again become a stumbling block to her brothers in Christ and set a precedent for the women whom she had inspired toward modesty. Sometimes, dear sisters, if we are not careful, we can even make an idol out of removing the idols in our life.

I want to sincerely encourage each of us to not fall for the enemy’s trap in this area, and that the Lord would grant us great wisdom and discernment regarding idolatry. Yes, there may be aspects of our lives that we make an idol, such as modesty, marriage, reading our Bible, and even godliness. The answer to counteracting those idols, however, is not by becoming the opposite --  immodest, divorced, tossing our Bibles out, or becoming worldly -- but to confess to the Lord that we are doing the right thing with the wrong motive, and ask Him to create in us a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit within us (Psalm 51:10).

I’ve heard it said, and I wholeheartedly believe it’s true, that God’s usual method of growing us is not by delivering us FROM our struggles, but by helping us grow THROUGH them. May we all be encouraged today that although our struggles may feel impossible to overcome at times, they are no match for Almighty God. Indeed, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13).

"We need to make sure we are not making anything an idol in our life except for our Lord and Savior. I have seen women with dresses down to their ankles, yet had hard and bitter hearts. We obey the Lord because we love Him and want to please Him in all that we do, not to make us look better or more spiritual in the eyes of others." {Lori}

Ye turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God.
1 Thessalonians 1:9

Causing Men to Lust

Every Saturday, Ken and I walk along the beach and then eat at our favorite breakfast place with my parents. Then we walk back and Ken runs and walks up and down these stairs five or more times. He loves the exercise and we enjoy this special time together. It's my parent's highlight of the week. 

Recently, we took our grandchildren with us and while he was going up and down the stairs, our grandchildren and I played in the sand near the bottom of the stairs. After only a short while, Ken came over to me and told me we had to leave because the view had changed. He told me I would know what he meant in a minute. We packed up to go and I turned around. At the bottom of the stairs, a young woman was laying on her towel on her stomach with a thong on so her entire bottom was showing. Many men come down these stairs every day since it is a surfer beach and surfers like to surf there. They all saw a naked women while coming down the stairs this day. Earlier on the walk when we had to cross a bridge, I glanced down at the sand beneath and about six young women were laying on their stomachs with their heads together in a circle and their entire bottoms were showing.

We have been walking this beach for years and I don't remember seeing a woman in a thong there before. I am thinking that it won't be long before they go topless and we won't be able to go to the beach on warm days anymore. Do these women know that they aren't only causing teenagers and young men to lust but older men and even grandfathers to lust too? Turning men on is an ego thing for them. They feel pride when they know men look at them.  However, the boys and men aren't looking at them with love or respect, but with lust. They are looking at them as objects to satisfy their lusts, not as a human beings.

These women have no discretion. They are naked and unashamed when they are only supposed to do this with their husbands. They are defiling their marriage bed and have caused many men to stumble. They are only thinking about themselves and are mean, as Beth Moore has said, since they enjoy turning other women's husbands on. The Bible says they are like pig with a gold ring in its nose. Therefore, the Lord doesn't think too highly of their behavior.

"The desire to be desired in women is part of God's design for women's sexuality, but it has to be channeled in the right direction. A woman is supposed to be desired by her husband, to make him want her, and to revel in his appreciation of her body. But it is not right or appropriate for a woman to desire or get this kind of attention from men who are not her husband." {Lindsay Harold}

We, as Christian women, must do much better and teach our daughters to be modest. We must teach them about a man's sexual drive and that they are visual in nature. We want a man to respect us for our inward beauty of a meek and quiet spirit, not for the amount of flesh we show. Our clothing should never cause a man to stumble since we respect our brothers in Christ too much to do this to them. Never be responsible for causing someone else to stumble into sin. These women will be held just as accountable for their actions as the men who stumble. Yes, men are commanded to flee sexual immorality and this is why Ken informed us that we were fleeing. It's too bad that this young women didn't know she was taking the fun away from our grandchildren by making us leave playing in the sand due to her lack of discretion.

As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout,

 so is a fair woman which is without discretion.

Proverbs 11:22

How Should Godly Women Dress?

It's NO secret how godly women should dress. Here are God instructions specifically to women ~

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But {which becometh women professing godliness} with good works {1 Timothy 2:9, 10}.

That's fairly simple to understand! We are not to dress to draw attention to ourselves. We should not spend a lot of money on ourselves and clothing. We should clothe ourselves with good works. Therefore, next time we want to buy more clothing, we must make sure they fit this admonition to us.

Most women in America dress to draw attention to themselves. They wear tight fitting clothing. They wear low cut tops and short skirts and shorts. They also spend a lot of money on their clothes. {Just check out most women's closets!} Unfortunately, we have listened to what our culture tells us instead of God's Word. We care more about impressing others than impressing our Lord.

John Piper wrote this about how a woman should dress, "Clothes are not meant to make people think about what is under the clothes. Clothes are meant to direct attention to what is NOT under them: merciful hands that serve others in the name of Christ, beautiful feet that carry the gospel where it is needed, and the brightness of a face that has beheld the glory of Jesus."

Our clothing should not be to cause men to lust or women to envy. Our clothing should simply be to clothe us and provide covering. After people have been with us, they should remember us for how kind and loving we were to them, NOT how well we were dressed. I'm not saying you should look dirty, disheveled, or like you just climbed out of bed. No, we should keep ourselves clean, tidy and nice-looking since God is a God of order and beauty but we need to make sure others are not distracted from who we are because of what we wear. Care more about serving and loving others, sharing the good news of the Gospel and the joy of the Lord to a lost and dying culture than how you dress.

Her Discreet Irish Grandmother

A preview for an interview with a young, popular woman proclaimed, "She lives her life the way she wants." This is the problem with our culture right now. Every one is going their own way; a way without biblical principles and values which will always lead to ugliness and chaos. It's refreshing to hear of stories of women of old who followed biblical principles and showed the beauty of them, especially to their daughters and granddaughters. They followed the ancient paths set by the Word of God. Here is more about Katie's discreet and beautiful Grandmother.

My grandmother was Irish and her parents immigrated from Ireland before she was born. They didn't have much, and she told us stories of how she helped make "newspaper windows" in their home as a girl and how they had to be resourceful. She did not, however, have the Irish temper. She spoke gently and kindly and taught us to do the same. She stayed busy in her home and was a blessing to everyone. 

I know many would take offense to some things she taught. For instance, serving the men at the table. That was a choice she made as it was just another way to love and minister to my grandfather. He and the boys worked very hard, so it was another way to simply love and support them. We would monitor how fast/slow they were eating to see if they needed second helpings or refills on their drinks. She would nod and signal us girls quietly across the table when it was time to serve dessert. 

They had a huge garden, with sweet corn, tomatoes, cucumbers, etc. along with an apple orchard and a sweet corn patch. We all loved her cooking! To this day, we are still not able to replicate her apple pie squares, mashed potatoes or Irish soda bread exactly, although I have some of the recipes and still like to make them. And my Grandpa was always thankful to her as she was to him. They loved each other and held hands and smiled often, even in their old age. I never heard them fought. The house was always a happy, loving environment where we worked hard, and yet it made the hours of play and spending time with them that much sweeter. There was a lot of love to go around! And I enjoyed being dressed and presentable at the breakfast table. My mother wasn't home the majority of the time to encourage and teach things like that, so it was nice to have structure and boundaries. Maybe it sounds strict to some, but it's what we needed. 

She was very giving and always helping others. She would buy us outfits {which were a blessing} and they were always modest and of good quality. She knew how to shop deals and still get high-quality items. I loved shopping with her. She took care of everything she had and made it last. One day she called us into the "sitting room" as she called it, and showed us how to sit and stand in dresses and skirts and how to have good posture, etc. I know many women would scoff at that, but they are precious memories to me. She laughed and made it enjoyable. She taught me how to sew a button, fold a fitted sheet, clean a window just right and many other things I still do to this day. But the biggest lesson was her love for God. She prayed often and taught us to do the same. She enjoyed playing games with her grandchildren and spending time with them; we had so much fun with her! Everyone loved her and her smile. 

I can still remember looking up and hearing her beautiful voice singing hymns in church, with her standing there in her favorite light blue dress and pearls, heels, and hat. I can still smell her perfume and picture the shade of her lipstick. I can still taste her cooking and I can still see her love for my Grandpa in her eyes as she looked at him. The last time we saw her before she passed away, she told us how excited she was to be meeting her Lord and Savior soon and getting to see Grandpa again; to not be sad, but rejoice in Him. And up until the day she died, she still took care of her appearance. She still had her hair reasonably fixed with a little makeup and perfume on. No, she didn't have to do this, but she wanted to. The nurses loved her. She enjoyed being feminine. 

When I married my husband, she and grandpa gave us a beautiful cedar chest with floral engravings on it. It's beautiful, just like Grandma. I keep family keepsakes in it along with the wedding card and letter she wrote encouraging me to love God and my family. I miss her dearly. But I'll always be thankful to God for her example of love and service to others. I know she would approve of your teachings on love and homemaking. It's one reason I love learning here, because so many of the posts remind me of her in one way or another. 

Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.

Jeremiah 6:16

Being Discreet in Our Crass Culture

Godly women are commanded to be discreet. Our society does not promote this in women in any way. It promotes the opposite. In fact, college does the opposite of promoting being discreet in women. It teaches them to be loud, independent and like men since they teach that both sexes are equal in every way and women can do everything men can do. 

Some Christian women have also told me they regret ever going to college since all they learned in college made it harder for them to be content raising children at home, whereas those women who didn't go to college, seemed much more content in their role as wives and mothers. Why women don't want to be content being a woman in the roles God has designed for them and instead want to be a man, I will never understand.

Katie from my post Women Are to Be Discreet had some great words about her Grandmother and how she taught her many things about being discreet. Few women today have a role model of someone who is discreet in their life. Hollywood shows women who are not discreet in the way they dress, what they say, and the way they act. Here is Katie's description:

Honestly, I prefer to not even dress in front of my husband or have him watch me get ready. I've never gone to the bathroom in front of him. I try and dress feminine and fix my hair a little before he comes home. I also make sure our little girl has clean clothes on and a clean face. My husband works so hard and he has said he appreciates coming home to clean and cheerful ladies! :) 

My grandmother actually gave me those tips when I got married. She stayed home, always looked put together, and made wonderful meals in a clean house. She was always private about personal things and taught me, my sisters and cousins to be discreet, too. When we visited, she encouraged us to get dressed and have our hair fixed before coming to the breakfast table where everyone was seated (no pajamas allowed!) and we had to have very good manners at the table. The girls waited on the boys and I honestly enjoyed that. There was a sense of order and respect and it was still a happy and loving environment. 

She took the girls shopping and then to a lady's only salon to get our haircut and fixed and grandpa took the boys separately to the barber shop. Sometimes she'd let us look at her dressing table with her lotions and perfumes and jewelry; that was the best! She had the prettiest old-fashioned claw foot bathtub and would fill it with bubbles for us when we were little. She was very feminine and pretty and we admired her. 

My grandpa and everyone else just loved her. She was very faithful to the Lord and involved with church. I loved listening to her read the Bible to us and encouraging us to love and serve others. Some of my happiest memories were the summers we spent with them! I learned a lot from her example. It's a good reminder to teach my daughter these things too while she is still young. 

 I forgot to mention that sitting at the breakfast table, she'd teach us to watch our grandfather and the boys to anticipate if they needed anything. She taught us to sit like ladies even while we were still little girls and it always stuck with me. I played softball in high-school and would sit in the dugout with my legs crossed! She never went into town without a little pink lipstick on. She also saved her old purses and high heels and we'd get to play dress up with them. I guess it just meant a lot to me because my mother worked out of the home six days a week, so I appreciated my grandmother's example. 

Now, most men enjoy watching their wives getting dressed and especially undressed, so this one I would suggest you ask your husband about! All of the rest are wonderful examples for us to follow and especially teach our daughters while they are young. We live in a crass culture where everyone is doing what they think is right in their own eyes. God wants women to be discreet and chaste in all that they do. We should love being different than men and enjoy our role as wives and mothers, since this is how our Creator created us.

Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a 
beautiful woman without discretion.
Proverbs 11:22

photo source

Being Offended By Things of the World

 Many of you are offended by the immodesty you are seeing at the beaches, the malls, in the movies and on the television. Yes, this culture is becoming more immodest and more indecent. Each generation takes more of their clothes off and tries more perverse things to satisfy their fleshly lusts. 

We are women of God. We are not like the world. We pursue modesty and decency. For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit {Romans 8:5}. Don't expect the Super Bowl halftimes to get better. Don't expect women to become more decent and modest. They aren't going to since they are after the things of the flesh and satisfying their sinful lifestyle. 

Instead of just getting offended and angry about this type of stuff, do something about it. Dress modestly and act decently. Be an example to all those who know you and see you. God calls us to be salt and light to this wicked generation and the only way we do this is by how the world sees us and our behavior since they can't see a stamp on our forehead that says "Jesus Follower." 

 I have no interest in watching the world satisfy their fleshly lusts through Super Bowl halftimes or anything else, for I know that even watching sin can harden my heart. But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin {Hebrews 3:13}. Watching immodesty and indecency has no hold on me. I have trained myself to hate these types of things. I want my heart to stay soft to the ways of the Lord and what pleases Him. We are called to not even be entertained by sin, let alone do it.

Instead of dwelling on indecency, God commands we dwell on the lovely because He knows how deceitful sin is and He wants us to stay as far away from it as possible. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good {Romans 12:9}. Woman of God should exhibit grace and beauty wherever they go through their modesty, decency and their gentle and quiet spirit; for this is precious in the Lord's sight.

Please don't get caught up in what our culture is doing around us. They are of this world and love the things of this world. They are being held captive by the prince of the power of the air. They are drowning in their sin. We are strangers and pilgrims here. We are just passing through. This is not our home so we shouldn't expect those of the world to act like those of the Lord. Instead of watching it and getting offended, show them Jesus through your actions, your words, the way you dress, and by your love for them since you are a child of the Most High and they need Jesus. Don't go down to their level, but rise up to the level of a saint.

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. 
If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.
1 John 2:15-17

Sickened By Immodesty Among Christians

Paul Washer said in a sermon called The Basics of Biblical Courtship that what Christians wear to the beach today, just 60 years ago would have been jailed or fined by unbelievers since it was against the law. The women in the chat room were discussing the onslaught of immodesty our men see on the television screen, in the supermarket and everywhere. Even before a football game begins a woman who claims to be a Christian is singing and dancing provocatively on a stage in a dress up to her fanny. It actually looks like a top that is missing its pants. In church, women who lead the songs wear skin tight pants. The church doesn't even set and uphold standards of modesty that Paul says should take place in the Church. It's sickening how much Christians look like our culture instead of being beacons of light shining in a dark and decaying culture. Now, we shouldn't expect modesty from unbelievers but from those who claim to follow Christ, we should.

People will tell me that I am not to judge. Yes, we are to judge those within the church and we are certainly supposed to call any and all sin what it is, SIN. We shouldn't have to worry about going to church and seeing immodest women. This should be a safe place for Christians to worship the Lord and learn about Him. The Church and its leaders shouldn't be afraid of the women in the church but should set standards for modesty. When we visited Michael Pearl's church as a family, the women were all very modest and it was wonderful! It was a peaceful and secure feeling. All of God's ways are like this; peaceful and secure.

  A friend of mine said her father was a pastor and he had a very strict dress code for those who were going to be on stage. I asked her why pastors today don't seem to have those same standards and she said that they cater to the young. This is not how it should be. The young should be catering to the older since they are the ones with wisdom. Some churches have robes for their choir like David Jeremiah's church. This is a great idea!

If you are a woman of God who desires to please Him in all that you do, dress modestly. Don't spend a lot of money on your clothes since this is forbidden by the Lord. Wear clothes that are neat, tidy and even pretty but make sure they are modest. Ask your husband what is modest if you're not sure since he is a man and thinks like a man! Be a godly example of modesty to those around you.

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array.

1 Timothy 2:9

***Please take five minutes to watch this clip by Dennis Prager about a man's sexual nature if you don't believe showing more flesh is difficult on a man and why you should dress modestly around every man, except for your husband's eyes only.

"Why are men so easily turned on sexually by a woman's legs, but not vice-versa? Why are female strip clubs so much more prevalent and popular than male strip clubs, but not vice-versa? Why is the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue a nationwide hit every year...among men? In five minutes, Dennis Prager explains why the answers to these questions reveal so much about male and female sexual nature, and how the visual impacts the two sexes in totally different ways."