Encouragement to NOT Worry!

Carol Hopson has been a good friend of mine for a while. She is a godly woman and loves to mentor women in the ways of the Lord. I would consider her an evangelist; wherever she goes, she asks the Lord to use her to reach others for Him. She gives retreats all over the United States, writes books and goes out to coffee with women frequently to teach them God's ways.

I have been to many of her retreats. She gives inspirational stories that encourage us in our walk with the Lord. When I have gone to her about marriage or mentoring advice, she gives solid, biblical truth. She never waters down the Word of God to make it more acceptable in today's culture. She attracts others to Jesus by the way she lives her life and the kindness she shows to all by using every opportunity to share the love of Jesus with others.

She's been married for many years. Her husband was the Headmaster of the Christian school my children attended in high school. They all loved him as their Headmaster. He would frequently pat them on their heads and tell them what a good job they were doing; always encouraging them. He would speak in chapel and teach them the ways of Jesus. He modeled a life wholly given to pleasing the Lord by the way he loved his wife, his children, the teachers and students. Many believe the years that he was Headmaster were the best years of this school. We sure do!

He adores his wife! Everyone loves Carol. She is included whenever my Mom or sisters have a birthday. Since none of her family lives around her, we have adopted her into our family. Every birthday, we go out for a luncheon and celebrate together. She brings little party favors to make it even more special.

She puts on two retreats every year in San Diego near us. It's such a fun day! We each get our own notebook to take notes on her words of wisdom. There's a goody bag full of fun things for each woman. They give away gorgeous baskets full of wonderful items in a drawing that are usually worth hundreds of dollars. There is always a wonderful lunch and time to meet the women at your table. If any of you live in the San Diego area, I encourage you to come!

Here is what she wrote me about this year's conference about NOT worrying!

You are invited to attend a fabulous one day mini-retreat on September 26 at the Lomas St Fe Country Club where Carol Hopson will be sharing three inspirational messages on how to truly live “Worry Free”! It’s an amazing day of sweet fellowship, great food, unbelievable door prizes and great encouragement from God’s Word! It’s from 8:30-2:30 pm and you will leave refreshed, challenged and hopefully free of the worries and thoughts that weigh you down.  You can register on her website at www.carolhopson.com or email her at carolhopson@gmail.com if you'd like to attend. Sign up today as the conference is almost sold out!

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; 

for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee;

 yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Isaiah 41:10

Friends For Almost Forty Years!

There is not one friend that I can recall being close to in elementary school. There was one friend who lived across the street for awhile in junior high that I loved and we had wonderful times together. Through high school, I hung out with some girls in the class under me who were fun and kind, but other than this, I didn't ever have a best friend that stuck closer than a sister to me. I literally thought something was wrong with me. Many girls were actually cruel to me while I was growing up. My sisters, however, had wonderful girl friends!

For college, my dad decided he wanted me to go to Westmont College in Santa Barbara. When I was getting packed and ready to go, I remember my Mom telling me that she couldn't wait for me to bring all of my girlfriends home for a weekend. I responded, "What girlfriends? I've never been able to find and keep kind and loving girlfriends."

I was placed in an old dorm at Westmont called Page Hall. I didn't know anyone in my dorm. All of the women you see in the pictures above lived on the 3rd floor in the B Section with me, except the middle one. We became close friends almost from the beginning. There is not a mean one in the bunch. We LOVED each other. We hung out together all the time. On the weekends, we'd go to each other's home and raid the refrigerator and laugh a ton! I can't recall one argument, cross word or unkindness between any of us, ever.

We have now known each  for almost 40 years. None of us have ever been divorced. We all love Jesus and all of our husbands love Jesus. We are growing older together. The top picture was taken almost 40 years ago. We all gathered together the past few days and took a picture of all of us in the same order except the woman in the center. She's a different person whose name is Lynn; the sister of Jan, the second from the right who has become very dear to all of us and fits right in.  

Most of us were in each other's wedding. We went to all the baby showers that we were able to attend. We'd all gather for many New Years Eves and celebrate together with our husbands and children. All of our husbands enjoy each other and get along great! {We wanted some of our children to like each other and get married but that never happened!}

We supported Sandy when her husband got sick and passed away. We've ALL had trials and sufferings. There's been illnesses, prodigal children, financial strain and rough times in some marriages. We laughed, shared, ate and cried this weekend together. We shared our faith and our hope in the Lord. We pray for each other. We love each other. We are blessed.

A friend loves at all times, 

and a brother {or sisters in Christ} is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17

My SAHM College Friends

When I was growing up, all I wanted to be was a wife and mother. After high school, I went to Westmont College which was $3500 per year which included everything so few people ended college in deep debt. Then I went to CSUN to get my teaching credential. I taught for three years before I was able to quit when I had my second baby.

I liked college, mostly for these friends I made. {This picture was taken at Ryan and Cassi's wedding. We all were in or went to each other's weddings. We attended each other's baby showers and now those babies' weddings!} I didn't like studying things I didn't enjoy, like many of the requirements, and I much preferred studying things I am interested in, like I do now.

All of my college friends ended up being stay at home moms. Now, that we are older, one caters out of her home, another one writes cookbooks out of her home, another one has done various jobs out of her home, mostly secretarial. Lately, one has been nursing her very ill mother 24/7.  Some are still raising children, babysitting grandbabies, showing hospitality to others, etc. They all love Jesus and have solid marriages after being married for many years.

Yes, most of us got college degrees but I think I am the only one who used my degree for a start of a career. My dad never wanted my mom to work, EVER, even after we were raised. He wanted her home caring for us and then helping us with our babies. He did, however, want all three of us to get degrees. Oh, the changes in one generation.

People did get married younger back in my dad's day and even in my day. I wonder if this big push for education {which costs SO much more today} and careers by women has caused marriage and babies to be put off. The time, the debt,...so many things come with women getting careers that complicate the making of a good, solid family life which is the foundation of any healthy society. 

Teach young women to be keepers at home.
Titus 2:5

My Friend Who Can

A bunch of frogs were given the challenge of climbing to the top of a pinnacle.  Along the way, many onlookers were yelling, "You'll never make it!"  "This is way too difficult for you."  In the end, only one frog made it to the top.  Later, they found out he was deaf and didn't hear the naysayers.

My friend, Patty {the one on the left}, contracted a bacterial infection many years ago.  They had to amputate her legs above the knees, her fingers just below the knuckles, and had skin grafts over 60% of her body.  If you want to hear her incredible testimony, listen to it HERE.  {You must scroll down on the right side to KA Weekly Messages and look for the message on 8/17/13 called Patty Kolb.  It is well worth your time!}

She shared this frog story in her testimony.  She has been through a lot in her life.  In spite of all of her trials and tribulations, she is a testimony to God's strength and His glory.

This frog story reminded me of my dad.  He is ALWAYS optimistic with me and the outcome of all my health problems.  It is so easy to get depressed and think dimly of my future but my dad always tells me I am going to be fine.  He gives me hope.  Hope is a wonderful thing.

Patty encourages her listeners to not listen to the naysayers or the pessimistic people in your life.  When asking all these doctors if she would ever walk again, only one out of many said, "If she wants to."  Not one other doctor gave her any hope!  All she needed was that one doctor who did.

If you have people in your life going through trials, always speak words of hope and encouragement to them.  Weep and mourn with them, but then remind them of all of God's promises.  We are more than conquerors through Christ who strengthens us!

Patty's favorite verse is from Isaiah 43:1,2 ~

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by your name;

You are Mine.

2 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.

When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,

Nor shall the flame scorch you.

Suffering Is A Part Of Life

A neighbor friend of mine, Yrena, was walking her dog and saw me on the balcony.  In the mornings, I sit on my front balcony which faces the east.  I sit in the warmth of the morning sun.  She looked up to me and told me how much patience I must have to suffer as I do.  I told her that Jesus gives me daily strength and will lead me through. 

After she left, I realized how much she has suffered in life.  Shortly after we all moved into our new homes 14 years ago, her husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  She was a high-powered career woman at this time.  During his battle with the cancer, they both came to believe in Jesus.  He died shortly afterwards but those few precious months with her husband as a believer were priceless.

All of her priorities changed after believing in Jesus.  Her career was no longer her life.  She got involved in a church and taught her children the ways of God.  However, she went through several very turbulent relationships that were heart breaking for her.

Her son Eric, one of Steven's very good friends, lost his eye will surfing several years ago.  He just married an incredible, godly young woman and is preparing to be a pastor.  Her daughter, Hayley, married several years ago.  Her husband is a pastor also and they both walk with Jesus.

God has blessed her life abundantly even through her many trials.  The loss of her husband brought her, along with her children, to Jesus.  She is now married to a wonderful man.  She knows what the Bible means when it states All things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.
Romans 8:28

Everyone suffers in this life.  No one gets through pain free.  Knowing Jesus and that He has it all under control is very comforting as we go through the storms of life.

If you have surrendered yourself to Christ, your present circumstances that seem to be pressing so hard against you are the perfect tool in the Father's hand to chisel you into shape for eternity.  So trust Him and never push away the instrument He is using, or you will miss the result of His work in you life. {Streams in the Desert}

Lingering With Friends

My mom, Carol, and I went out to lunch recently.  After we finished eating, we lingered for awhile just chatting.  It was wonderful!  I consider Carol as my mentor.  She is an older and wiser woman.  She has the sweet aroma of Jesus wherever she goes.

I was thinking about how seldom friends linger with each other anymore.  Everyone is too busy.  It took me back to my college years.  The couples in the picture are my college friends.  All of us girls met our freshmen year of college and have been best friends ever since.

We were in each other's weddings, went to all the baby showers, grieved when Sandy lost her husband, and now we are all attending each other's children's weddings.  We try and get together at least once a year and catch up on each other's lives.

In college, we knew how to linger.  We would linger in our dorm rooms for hours just talking.  We'd go exploring around the mountains near our college together.  We'd lay on our towels at the beach dreaming together.  We'd go out for chips and salsa and laugh the night away.  We'd escape to each other's homes for the weekends. We loved being together.

Those times built deep roots of friendship.  We all feel a bond together from all that time we lingered together really getting to know what was on each other's heart.  What we each wanted out of life.  We shared disappointments that we experienced in this long journey called life.

I have been blessed with an amazing circle of friends.  Our husbands all enjoy each other and have been growing old together also.  We are all still married to the husbands of our youth, except Sandy who lost her first husband to a brain tumor.  Three of the couples are not in the picture.  This was taken after Alyssa's wedding. 

We will all be attending Sandy's son's wedding in June.  I can't wait.  There is nothing like lingering for several days with good, old friends!

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17

TGIF, Grateful For..., Friendship Friday

Hosting A Healthy Luncheon

My Bible Study group comes over here for a luncheon every several months.  I live only a half mile from the church and they all love my food.  I love having them also.  I like to feed people healthy.  Usually when they taste how good healthy food can be, they want to start fixing it for themselves.

I thought I would show you what I fix for my luncheons.  I had 15 women at this last one.  It is easy to feed big groups if you know what to fix and how to prepare it.

They always request my salad so I just make a big one and have some toppings for it.  Today I had parmesan cheese, sunflower seeds, and my homemade salad dressing.  I love to have tomatoes and avocadoes.  I also roasted several chickens to put on top of the salad or eat it separately.

I always have some of my homemade bread with some butter to go with it.  I made a big pot of  quinoa and vegetable soup the day before to serve also.  I just use coffee cups to serve the soup in.

Afterwards, the women usually want my recipes and want to start eating better.  It is a good way to start them on a journey towards better health.  We have a good time talking and getting to know each other better.  There is something very special about eating a meal together in a home.

Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.

I Peter 4:9

Young Men Dying

One of my friend's son died the other day.  He was only 22 years old.  He had a wonderful mother and father.  He had wonderful siblings. He had a warm and loving home. The heartache must be unbearable.  What is it with young men dying?

In my high school, all the kids who died were young men...motorcycle accidents, jeep accidents, drowning...When my children were in high school, a senior in high school dove into a pool and was paralyzed from the neck down several weeks before graduating.  My nephew fell off a wave runner last summer and was almost paralyzed. 

In the last few years, we know young men dying in car accidents, motorcycle accidents, getting run over by a train, committing suicide, and getting killed from doing a big jump on snow skis and landing wrong.  These were bright, young men, good men....loved by their families and many friends. It's heartbreaking...

What do you say to a friend who has lost their child?  How do you comfort them?  I know God has them in the palm of His hand, but it hurts so much.  The pain is unimaginable.  God must work through all the family and friends who gather around those who are grieving.  We are called to be His hands and feet.

I know the pain lasts for years...There must always be an emptiness...a scar. 

Young men, be careful.  I know you have a lot of testosterone running through your body, but your family and friends love you and want you to be around for a long time.  I realize life happens and you have to live your life and you are young men, but for the sake of your moms, be careful...

There is hope, however, because Jesus has provided eternal life to all those who believe in Him.  We shall see our loved ones face to face someday.  We can comfort one another with those words and wait patiently for that glorious day.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.  Revelation 21:4

Here is the link to his obituary ~
John Peyton Mossy

Finding Godly Girlfriends

We were just getting ready to pray and she exclaimed, "I need to go outside for some fresh air.  My heart has been hurting and the pain is traveling down my arm."  We all looked at each other...Should we take her to the ER, pray for her, or go out to her and make sure she is okay?

We all got up and went outside.  She said she was feeling a little better.  She had a doctor's appointment at 1:00.  We all gathered around her, laid our hands on her, and started praying.

Another woman said in tears that her brother had left and may commit suicide.  We laid hands on her, wept, and prayed.  Another one has Hepatitis C and her liver may be failing.  We laid hands on her, wept, and prayed. 

Another woman's daughter-in-law was just admitted to the psychiatric ward and my dad was near death this past week.  Prayers were offered for them...Girlfriends...Life would be empty without them.

A friend emailed me this week and said one of her friends was offended by something she said and instead of going to her, she told all her other friends.  Now they won't talk to her and she is aching inside.

Gossip, back-biting, rumors, and unforgiveness should have no place in the friendship between godly women.  If someone has hurt you with words, go to them.  Tell them and allow healing in the relationship.  The last thing you should do is share it with others and hurt the relationship even more.

If you need godly girlfriends, pray and then join a Bible study at church.  Get involved in small groups.  Seek them out.  God is faithful.  He will provide you with godly girlfriends to encourage and strengthen your walk with Him!

A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. 

Proverbs 11:13

A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much. 

Proverbs 20:19

If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!  

Ecclesiastes 4:10

Sweet Sara

Meet Sara.  She came to live with a close neighbor and friend last year for several months.  She wasn't a follower of Jesus.  Sarah asked my friend where the local bars were.  My friend wanted her to meet Cassi.  Sara wanted friends.  She liked Cassi right away and started hanging out with her and her friends. 

She couldn't believe how wonderful these girls were...When one would leave the room, the others wouldn't gossip about them like all her other friends did.  They were always hugging her and making her feel loved.

She started going to church with us every Sunday faithfully, then would eat lunch with my family afterwards.  She would just sit and listen.

About a month before she left, during communion, she looked at Cassi with tears in her eyes and said she wanted to become a Christian and take communion.  Cassi told her to wait because she needed to count the cost and really understand what she was wanting to believe.

The weekend before she left, she believed in Jesus as her Savior.  We all cried.  We were so happy. 

She went back home, but had no support system.  I prayed for her everyday.  She came back to visit a few months later and remembered how wonderful being among Christians was...She met Andrew and they started texting a bit.

She went back home and got involved in a church, a bible study, and is being mentored by older women.  Her roots are getting deeper.

She was just here last week.  She and Andrew just wanted to hang out together and see if they should pursue a relationship.  Andrew loves Jesus.  I asked her how her week was with him and she wrote me this ~

I had the best time!!! I'm making my tentative date of moving to California May 2013 :) and I really like Andrew.  He treated me just above and beyond what any other guy has!!  So happy. :)

She's never had a guy treat her special...They are waiting on the Lord to see where their relationship should go...We are so happy for Sara.  I will keep you posted! ;)

We all love you, Sara!

Come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart:  and you shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. 

Matthew 11:28-30

Precious Patty

My college friends were here for Alyssa's wedding and they wanted to know what happened to Patty who was at the wedding. Her fingers are gone from the knuckles up and her legs are cut off above her knees. She has had skin grafts on her entire body, but I would have to say she is the most amazing woman of God that I know. We have been friends for many years and I got to know her soon after her illness. Here is her story ~

Her husband of 30 years and two sons went to a hockey game many years ago. I want to guess about 15 years ago {it's been 22 years now}. Patty was very tired and went to bed early. She got up to go to the bathroom a while later and noticed her arms were completely bruised.

She went to the phone to dial 911 but never made it. On the way home from the game, Gary wanted to stop at In-N-Out {a famous fast food burger place out here} on a Saturday night around 10:00 p.m. but it was closed. God must have closed it because if Gary had gotten home any later, Patty would have died. {It's never closed this early on a Saturday night.}

She was laying on the floor in a lot of pain. He rushed her to the emergency room and there happened to be a doctor on call who had just studied at the disease she was suffering from and started pumping her body with fluids. She was diagnosed with Meningococcal Septicemia. Her blood pressure was 40/20 and her husband was told she only had twenty minutes to live. Most people who have gotten this disease have either died or lost a lot of functioning of their internal organs but Patty's are fine, praise the Lord. All the capillaries under her skin had broken open.

She had to spend months in the hospital and they had to keep slowly cutting more of her fingers and legs off to prevent the disease from killing her. Every time they did this, they had to get permission from Gary. You can imagine the pain and suffering he was having to go through during this tragic process. Her sons were only four and six years old at the time. Once she was released from the hospital, she lived in a wheelchair for many years. Several years ago, the city raised enough money for her to get legs so now she is able to stand up and go a lot more places.

She had breast cancer a few years ago. I think she still has phantom pain in her legs. She never complains about anything. She is one of the most joyful women I know. Her older son, Brian, works for the airlines so Gary and she have flown all over the world. She especially has a heart for the Jewish people and has even gone to Israel a few times. Her husband and sons adore her. She loves Jesus with her whole heart, soul, and mind and it is definitely His strength that has pulled her through.

All through my trials and sufferings, she has held me up in prayer and when I have a problem, she is one of the first ones I call. She is a prayer warrior and believes strongly in the power of prayer. She is a living example of God working through her. She is joyful, loving and giving. I am so happy to call her my friend. I love her very much and I am so happy the Lord spared her life.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

My Best Friend Sandy

We met our freshmen year at Westmont College.  I was outgoing, talkative and interrupted a lot.  She was quiet, reserved and a fabulous listener.  We got along great! 

I introduced her to Rob.  They got married and had three sons.  She told me that after she married him she decided she was never going to nag him and she didn't.  He adored her. 

He died of brain cancer when the boys were small and she was a single mom for many years.  She met and married Peter later and he became a father to her boys. 

When Peter talks, she puts her hand on him, looks into his eyes and really listens.  She serves him...He adores her also.  I gave her Created to Be His Help Meet only because I thought she could have written it. 

I learned to be joyful and smile a lot in front of Ken.  I learned not to manipulate, change or try to control him.  I learned to please and serve him.  This book had a dramatic effect on my marriage. 

She told me she learned from it...When Peter asked her if she wanted to go out for a muffin or bagel, she would ask him what he wanted...That's it!  Like I said, she could have written the book. 

Her son, Tyler, introduced our family to Jon 3 1/2 years ago.  Jon and Alyssa fell in love and are getting married on Sunday.  You can read their love story here.  It is beautiful!

Sandy is coming here on Thursday with Peter to help us celebrate their marriage.  I can't wait!  Everyone needs a friend like Sandy.  She inspires me...

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 17:17

Jon's Mother, Lynette

Jon's parents, Dennis and Lynette, are visiting us this weekend.  I had the privilege of picking them up from the airport and feeding them on Friday.  They are a wonderful couple and I can't WAIT to be related to them.  Lynette serves Dennis...A LOT!!! 

Whenever he needs anything, she pops up and gets it for him.  People have given her negative comments about doing that like, "Why do you do everything for him?"  Her response to me was that she loves to serve and it is what she feels she has been called to do...beautiful. 

Jesus' last act on earth was to wash his disciples' feet as an example for us to serve.  If the Creator of the universe can do that, we can serve others, especially our husbands.  I use to want Ken to serve me. 

When I said my vows to him on my wedding day that I would love, honor, and cherish him I think I really meant that he should love, honor, and cherish me.  Now I know better. 

I am so much happier serving him and making him happy instead of expecting him to serve me and make me happy.  Jon has said his parents never argue.  I can see why.

Dennis adores his wife.  She makes him very happy.  Erin's mother, Beverly, is a servant also.  Both are such good examples of what a godly wife should look like.  I am so happy to be related to both of them! I hope to be like them when I grow up...

Her children arise up and call her blessed:  her husband also, and he praises her.  Many daughters have done virtuously, but you excel them all.

Proverbs 31:28,29