Downright Cruel to Have a Baby Sleep Alone?

The Los Angeles Times has an article called It's Okay to sleep next to your infant child. In fact, it's beneficial. They wrote that sleeping with an infant is common in other cultures, therefore it is probably the best way to do it.

The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against parent-child co-sleeping, or “bed-sharing,” citing safety concerns from accidental suffocation or falls. Doctors worry that tired — or intoxicated — parents will roll onto their infants in the middle of the night without realizing it. Putting babies in cribs or cots in a separate room is also customary in Britain, Germany and other parts of Western Europe.

Much of the rest of the world believes it is “downright cruel to have a baby sleep alone.” There is so much contrary information out there; what is a mother supposed to do? Speak to your husband about it and see what he would prefer. This is the most important thing to do.

I don’t believe there is a right or wrong way in deciding how to do this, unless a mother is an alcoholic, drug addict, or heavy sleeper. I would accidentally sleep with my babies when they were infants while I was nursing and we would both fall asleep but most of the time, I would put them in their bed right by my bed up until six weeks old. Ken and I are such light sleepers that all of their little squeaks and noises would keep us awake. There was no way we could sleep with them in the same room for long. A mother and father getting no sleep or little sleep is not a good thing.

Also, it doesn’t matter what the rest of the world thinks or does. There are many women I know who always slept with their infants and raised great children. There are many women, like me, who didn’t sleep with their children and raised great children. This should never be a cause for conflict among mothers. They should do what their husbands want and feel comfortable with.

We made our infants sleep through the night by six weeks. I was too exhausted to be woken up all throughout the night. It was better for both of us when we had a good night sleep. A baby doesn’t know how to put themselves to sleep so every time they wake up, they cry. Allowing them to cry the first time they wake until they go to sleep will teach them that they can go to sleep without their mama. This didn’t harm my children at all.

Other mothers could never dream of allowing their babies to “cry it out” so they shouldn’t if they don’t want to as long as they aren't getting emotionally and physically distraught for lack of sleep. Then they need to allow their babies to cry so they can get to sleep. An terribly exhausted mother is not good for anyone. However, this is no cause for conflict either. It’s a non-issue in my mind. You’re not a better mom for whatever way you chose.

You’re a good mother if you raise your children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Period. This is what is important to the Lord so it should be what is most important to us.

Hazing in High Schools

Recently, I heard a sportscaster talk on the Sports Channel about a news special happening that night on hazing in the high schools so I watched the preview. It was about a freshmen boy who played football. One day, he was in the bathroom and two big football players came from behind him, tackled him, and sodomized him. Broken and with tears streaming down his face, he said, “They took away my manhood.” The man interviewing the boy said this is happening all over the country. Being sexually molested is not happening by family members as much as it by children’s own peers these days.

“Forty-eight percent of all students who join any group in high school are subjected to hazing. Forty-three percent of them reported being subjected to humiliating activities, 23 percent are involved in substance abuse, and 29 percent of them told us they performed potentially illegal acts as part of their initiation,” said Dr. Nadine Hoover, principal investigator.

“The prevalence of hazing in high school should be a serious concern to all of us in higher education," said Charles M. Edmonson, president of Alfred University. “Colleges and universities have long considered hazing to be a problem, and they have worked hard to prevent it. This study reveals that our challenge is much greater than anyone appreciated.” (source)

In another story, Juliet Macur wrote, "I came to Chester County to inquire about 'No Gay Thursdays,' the term the district attorney says players use for hazing. One Thursday in October, the prosecutor said, a freshmen was held down and assaulted with a broomstick as seniors poked him between the legs with it, eventually penetrating him while teammates looked on.

Why so many? Susan Lipkins, a psychologist and an expert on hazing, said it was happening because hazing is a sports tradition that has endured for generations, and coaches and administrators often let it happen. The adults in the room - well, they leave the room and let the mayhem ensue."

The days are evil, women. You are the ones the Lord has called to protect your children. With pornography rampant, you can’t be too cautious about where you send your children and with whom you allow them to be with. I remember being afraid of going into the bathrooms in high school back in the seventies because they were filled with girls who were smoking and were usually mean. I can’t even imagine what it is like today! Yes, they will begin making more rules against initiating and hazing practices, but so few children are been trained and raised by their mothers anymore that the rules won’t matter much. In their minds, they have been taught “if it feels good then do it.” 

Dennis Prager wrote, "In a New York Times op-ed column, a professor of philosophy noted his shock at learning that most young Americans do not believe that moral truths exist. They are incapable of asserting that anything, including killing for fun, is wrong beyond personal opinion." Few are being raised with any biblical morals and principles anymore to respect and obey authorities and to do what is right and good.

The mother cannot tell what her tender little infant may grow up to be—tall or short, weak or strong, wise or foolish—he may be any of these things or not—it is all uncertain. But one thing the mother can say with certainty: he will have a corrupt and sinful heart. It is natural for us to do wrong. "Folly," says Solomon, "is bound up in the heart of a child" (Proverbs 22:15). "A child left to himself disgraces his mother" (Proverbs 29:15). Our hearts are like the earth on which we walk; leave it alone, and it is sure to bear weeds. (J. C. Ryle)

We must not depend solely about the government or school authorities to protect us and our children. We are their guardians and have been given this job from the Lord. No matter how well this boy was trained to not let anyone touch him and to protect himself, he couldn’t have protected himself from two boys that were bigger and stronger than him. It’s not going to get better. It’s only going to get worse and this is why I am a homeschooling advocate. There’s no safer place for your children to be than in your home with you full time and being trained and disciplined by their mother. If their father is around and involved in their lives, this is even much better since fathers have a huge influence upon their lives. 

If you aren’t married, marry a godly man who you can tell has deep roots in the Lord and walks faithfully with Him. Teach your children to marry godly spouses. It’s time to take control of your children, mothers. Our culture is deeply depraved and they aren’t going to teach your children anything good but you can. With a lot of prayer and wisdom, you will be able to raise your children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.

Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

Ephesians 5:16

Is It a Sin to Not Have Children If You Can?

Many couples today are choosing not to have children so they can focus upon each other. I have watched my daughters-in-law with their newborn babies and my daughters with theirs. They went through long and difficult labors. They hardly slept the first week after giving birth. They were diligent about caring for their babies and even suffering sleepless nights and pain while nursing to bring their children into this world and care for them. I have also watched them do everything in their power to be good and nurturing mothers to their children. Bearing children and raising them comes with a lot of sacrifice and unselfishness. I know; I bore four children and raised them to adulthood. It’s the best prescription for learning to deny our self and live to serve others. This is a good thing!

Tim Challies wrote a piece called “Is It Okay Deliberately Not to Have Children?” He wrote, “A simple, honest reading of the Bible will show how God so commonly associates children with blessing and childlessness with curses or punishment (e.g. Psalm 127:3-5). That same reading will show that children are fundamental to God’s mandate to human beings that we ‘be fruitful and multiply’ so we can ‘fill the earth and subdue it’ (Genesis 1:28). It will show that of all God has created, none has greater significance or worth than human beings (Genesis 1:26-27). Together they build a solid case that those who marry ought to attempt to fulfill all of God’s purposes for marriage. That includes having children.”

My children are all in the thirties now and I can say, without a doubt, they are my greatest blessings in my life. In fact, they are the gift that keeps on giving with grandchildren. I am friends with all of them and their spouses. We all love each other and get along great! They have all given me grandchildren and all of them wanted children. 

God wants a family. He wants a family who chooses to love and follow Him. He wants marriages to produce godly offspring, if they are able. He teaches us in His Word how to discipline and raise them. He gives us many principles to live by and His Holy Spirit to follow through and obey. He is an awesome God and His ways are marvelous. Nothing this world has to offer is better than what He gives us. I watch those precious newborns and am in awe that they are holding an eternal being. Their greatest desire for their children is that they walk with Jesus all of their days.

If you are blessed with the ability to have children, cherish the children the Lord blesses you with. The days are truly long but the years go swiftly by and soon they will be adults having their own children. What joy! Remember, this life is a blip on the scene of eternity so spend your days here glorifying the Lord and living your life for Him by doing as He has asked you to do. Cherish the years raising children since they do grow up quickly. It is all in God’s plan and His plan is perfect.

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127:305

Teaching Femininity and Masculinity

It is important for parents to raise them up in the way they should go. If they are born a male, raise him up to be a masculine man. If they are born a female, raise them up to be a feminine women. Make sure they understand their God-given role and teach it to them from the time they are young. Little girls should play with baby dolls and boy should play with trucks and balls. Yes, a little tomboy girl may but cute when she is young but it is not cute when they get older. It is your job as parents to steer them in the direction that God made them.

If boys aren't athletic and don't like team sports or playing with a ball, take them hiking, fishing, or help them build something. When they are older, have them learn how to change the oil on a car, repair things around the home, take care of the yard, and do masculine things. Teach the girls to love dressing feminine, cooking, cleaning, and other things that have to do with homemaking. If you don't teach your children these things, culture will teach them the opposite; women can be men and men can be women.

Girls need an education so they will grow up to be smart wives and mothers. Wives may have to help their husbands with their jobs and mothers may homeschool their children. Getting an education shouldn't just be for having a career. Make sure your daughters know that this isn't the ultimate goal of education but to know how to read, do math, understand history, and other important things they need to learn.

Little girls need to grow up and be able to be a homemaker and all this entails. Little boys need to grow up and be able to provide for a family so he must learn skills and have an education to do so. It's up to us, as parents, to lead our children in the right way. In the "olden days" parents did need to be so diligent about this but in these times, we must be since culture is teaching them lies.

Study to Be Quiet

This world is a noisy place. It is shouting to us all the time. The news shouts at us to dwell on the bad and ugly, and then worry about it since there’s nothing we can do about it. Hollywood shouts at us to have sex with whomever and whenever you want to and live the way that seems right for you. Advertisements shouts, “Buy me! Your life won’t be complete without this or that but hurry, there are only limited supplies and they go fast because everyone wants it!” It’s a mad, loud, and crazy world and it is not our own.

Then the Word who was made flesh comes along and tells us to “study to be quiet” (1 Thessalonians  4:11). He changed everything! Just as we have to learn to be content, we must learn to be quiet, especially we women since most of us love to talk and we are the ones given the admonition to have a “gentle and quiet” spirit. There are even Proverbs about a wife quarreling since words are the way we use to try to get our way and if we don’t, we quarrel until we do. If you don’t quarrel with your husband, your words will be much fewer. Men don’t like quarreling women since it takes away peace and most of them love peace.

So how do we learn to be quiet? For one thing, shut off anything that takes away your peace. If you are one to listen to the news and then fret and worry about it, stop listening to it. I have listened to hardly any news for months and my life is better. Instead of worrying, pray for our leaders as the Bible commands. Stop watching and supporting movies with immorality in them. If all Christians stopped watching them, it would make a huge impact. Limit television viewing. Tape your favorite shows and speed through the commercials like I do so I never have to see an advertisement. Stay out of malls since they shout at you too.

We are told to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Practice being a better listener. When people talk, listen to what they are saying and actually listen to them instead of trying to figure out what you are going to say next. When you want to argue with your husband or someone offends you and you want to fight back, bite your tongue and say nothing instead. See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men (1 Thessalonians 5:15).

Stay home if you are a mother with children.  The rest of the verse states, “and to do your own business and to work with your own hands.” Be busy with your hands within your home. When you see something that needs to be done, do it right then if you can. As soon as your children eat, clean up after them. After every meal, clean up and put away. Imagine how clean and tidy your home would be if your hands stayed busier than your mouth! (This includes writing on Facebook and twitter.) Make sure your business at home is what you focus your time and energy upon.

Your children will take a lot of your time since there is a lot that goes into raising, training, and disciplining children, especially when they are young. Teach your children to be quiet when they get older. Your modeling and using words of wisdom with them will have the greatest influence upon their lives. Do they hear you speaking words that are encouraging and uplifting? If we cut out all of the negative and critical words from coming out of your mouths, you would most likely become quieter. Never speak against your pastor on the way home from church, unless he has spoken something that was not true. Esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake (! Thessalonians 5:13). The more they hear you be optimistic and thinking the best of others, the more they will grow up to be the same. Let your words be wholesome and good words and in this way, you will learn to be quiet.

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, 21

Help Your Chidlren to Not Grow Up to Be Babies

There are jokes about men when they are sick and what babies they are during the trial of having a cold or flu. Yes, they are no fun to have but if you want your children to not grow up and whine and complain when they are sick, I have suggestions for you.

My children grew up with a sick mother, as many of you knew. I decided from the time they were young that I was going to suffer in silence since I didn't want them to suffer along with me due to my complaining. When they were sick and little, I would mostly would hold them on my lap since this is where they mostly wanted to be. However, as they grew a bit older, I wouldn't allow them to complain about what ailed them. If they were in pain or hurting, I would do what I could to make them feel better but I taught them not to complain. I didn't "baby" them when they were older.

Both of my daughters-in-law have told me that their husbands do not complain at all when they are sick. Erin has even told me that she doesn't even know when Ryan is sick. My other daughter, Emily, said that all of my children are tough. 

This world is tough. We are commanded to not complain. Each time the Israelites complained in the wilderness, God would bring punishment upon them. It's unpleasant to be around those who are negative a complain. When we complain, we are not trusting God with our lives and saying that what He has planned for us is not good. If you are a believer, every thing that happens to you is for your good.

We trained up our children to not complain, therefore, when they grew up and were adults, they don't complain. You don't want to baby them as they are growing older. If they are sick, tell them you don't want to hear their moaning, groaning, and complaining. Their future spouse will thank you for training them in this way! 

What are You Modeling for Your Children?

Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 4:12, “Be an example…in speech, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” Children are taught more by your example than your words. You can speak to them about the Word consistently but if you are not practicing what you teach, it won’t have an impact. You will have a greater influence upon your children’s lives than anyone or anything else. Take this seriously. You are molding eternal beings and your conduct will affect them until they die.

What is your speech like in front of your children? I hear mothers that call themselves “Christians” swear at their children and have no problem with using foul language. Their speech is not seasoned with salt but with rottenness. This should never be mothers! Your words should always be filled with kindness, encouragement, and never critical or demeaning others. Life and death are in the power of the tongue; to lift up or to tear down. Use your tongue to lift up the name of Jesus and build your children up.

What about the way you live? Are you careful to use your time wisely or do you spend it in frivolous pursuits? We should be known for good works; helping those around us in need and especially our families. Our times are short on this earth, therefore, we must use our time wisely and not fritter it away on the non-essentials.

Do you love others deeply? If you struggle with this, memorize 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 for this is the definition of love. If you aren’t being patient and kind towards your children, you are not truly loving them as the Lord has told you to love others. Yes, there will be difficult and hard times, but remember you are to believe the best, even of your children. Smother them with affection and kindness. It is the best gift you can give them.

What about faith? Do your children know you love the Lord deeply? If you asked them this question, how would they answer? Without faith, it is impossible to please the Lord or to raise godly children. Let your faith in the Risen Lord affect everything you do. Make sure church is a priority, regular times of prayer, and reading the Bible with them.

How about your purity? Are you careful what you read, watch, and listen to? If you tell your children they can only watch “proper” shows but you watch impure shows after they are you in bed, your hypocrisy will find you out. We must practice what we preach or it will all fall on deaf ears. Clean out your homes of any impurity. Teach your children about purity early and often. Pray they will yearn to be modest in the way they dress and pure with those of the opposite sex. Do everything in your power to keep them from impurity: Internet, TV shows, movies, and iPhones.

Finally, model integrity, honesty, kindness, and goodness to your children at all times, especially in the way you treat their father. Your respect and love towards him will have a greater influence on them than anything else you will do. Yes, all this may see overwhelming to you but remember, with God all things are possible.

Happy, Hard-Working, Stable, Courageous, God-fearing Children

Can daycare, nannies, or the public school system produce happy, hard-working, stable, courageous, and God-fearing Children? No. It is only parents who are committed to each other and to the Lord who can produce children with all of these qualities.

How do you produce happy children? Be happy and chose joy. Don’t live in fear but find your joy in the strength of the Lord. Love your husband deeply and laugh with him. Stop trying to control him in any way and let go. Laugh with your children. Let them see that being a Christian is the best, most happy place to be. 

What about hard-working children? Work hard! Don’t allow your home to be a pigsty. Keep your home clean and tidy and teach them to help you. Don’t allow laziness and the pursuit of pleasure to define your life. If they are modeled hard-working parents and taught to work hard, they will most likely grow up to be hard-workers.

How do you make sure your children grow up to be stable? Stay home with them full time beginning when they are born. Be there for them and care for them. A mother is the best person to nurture her own children. The best way to produce stable children is by making sure they find security and comfort with you.

How are children taught to be courageous? By being taught the Word from the time they are young. Teach them about Jesus, His life, death and resurrection. Teach them who they are in Christ, that He is Sovereign over all, and always in control. They have nothing to fear since God is on their side and working in and through them. Make sure they know how it all ends so they can rest assured of their future with Him.

The way to have God-fearing children is to discipline them properly. Make sure they learn to obey you the first time you tell them to do something. As they learn to obey and respect you, they will grow up to obey and respect the Lord knowing He disciplines those He loves.

If you are a widow or have been abandoned by your husband for some reason, please don’t despair. The Lord takes care of the widows and fatherless. I have several friends who were widowed when their children were very young and all of their children have grown up to be happy, hard-working, stable, courageous, and God-fearing adults. Continue to be a godly mother who disciplines, trains, and teaches your children the Word. Pray for godly men to be in their lives. Then there is a good probability they will grow up to walk with Jesus and be godly.

All your children shall be taught by the LORD, 

and great shall be the peace of your children.

Isaiah 54:13

Selfishly Focusing Upon Themselves

My keepers at home posts get the gold medal for causing the most disgust of any posts I write. The topic of submission gets the silver. What used to be normal just fifty years ago is foreign to women today. We should never be surprised about this since the world hates the Lord’s ways.

I saw an interview recently and the husband made this comment, "We don't want children so we can just focus upon ourselves." I hope you understand how selfish this mindset is if you are a believer in Jesus Christ. The Lord’s will for younger women is to marry, bear children, and guide the home so they do not give Satan occasion to speak evil about believers and His Word (1 Timothy 5:14). My youngest daughter just had a baby and so did my younger son's wife. These babies are only three weeks apart. Their labors were long and difficult. Recovering is hard since they lost so much sleep laboring for days and now they have a newborn to care for. Yes, bearing and raising children is one of the hardest things a couple can do but it reaps so many blessings. Nothing worth having is easy. The joy all of them experienced the moment they held their newborn baby in their arms can't be matched to anything else. They can’t wait to be the ones to raise their children. 

Compare this to something that happened to me recently. I went to a baby shower for a lovely Christian young woman and then I went to an engagement party for a very excited Christian engaged couple. There was much reason to rejoice at these two events. However, at the end of the day, I was rather depressed. Both women weren’t going to be home with their children and some of them were so involved with their careers of becoming a doctor or some other highly educated career that they probably will never be home with their children if they are blessed with them. Either they have invested so much time in having their career or they have accumulated too much debt.

 Telling working wives or single mothers that they are harming their children or families by doing what they must only deepens the hurt and divide between women in our churches. Why not instead reach out to a working or single mother, try to empathize and love them in their areas of need?

Contrary to popular opinion, I am not involved in “mommy wars.” I am involved with teaching younger women what the Lord has commanded me in His Word to teach. Children have no clue why their mothers may not be home with them but it doesn’t mean they need them any less. Studies have proven that children need their mothers full time since the Lord designed them this way. It’s a frightening thing to go against His clear directions to us. Understand something women, whatever the Lord commands He provides. It may mean living extremely frugal and giving up “wants” but it will be well worth it for the security and happiness of your children. I have seen and read of too many women who trust the Lord, come home, and are provided for.

Working and single mothers need to pray about it earnestly and ask the Lord for wisdom in how to come home whether it means finding a way to make money from home, living simply without wants, praying their husbands will be convicted about them coming home or even remarrying if they are widows so they can be home. They must also trust God to provide and step out in faith. Where there is a will, there is a way, especially if you have the God of the universe living in and through you because He owns everything.

As one young wife and mother who comments on my blog frequently wrote yesterday, "My mom worked all our childhood - from the time I was six weeks old and didn't retire until I was in college. The house was always extremely messy, much like what I think TheJoyFilledWife wrote about. 

Now that she's retired, she's able to have a clean and relaxing house. She told me the other day that she loved watching what I'm doing with the kids {I was elated!}. She actually said, 'You're doing what I should have done.' Wow!! It was very affirming to hear that."

Please, don't look back on your life with regrets by missing out on the chance to bear and raise your own children!

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

1 Timothy 5:14

Should We Correct Those with Wrong Beliefs?

Dennis Prager has said repeatedly on his radio program that before young adults attend universities, they understand the differences between males and females, but upon graduating they no longer understand the difference. This is becoming a sad reality but unfortunately, it's not only in universities now since elementary school children are being taught this foolishness. Now, people can decide what they want to be and no one should tell them otherwise.

Watch this short short clip from a 5'9" white man who tells college student that he is a 6'5" Chinese female. It's unbelievable that these students are willing to allow this man to continue believing what he wants to believe even though it is not the truth. The author of the article wrote, "Society has bought into the notion that leaving people alone with their beliefs is the loving choice, as long as they don’t harm others with those beliefs. Oh the irony! Could anything be more insidiously unloving than knowing someone has wrong beliefs that could be personally harmful, yet prioritizing silence as long as no one else gets hurt?"

In the same way, I get scolded by Christians for teaching women to be submissive to their husbands and that mothers should be home full time caring for their children. People have called me harsh and unloving for doing this but nothing is better for civilization then God's ways.  My marriage began to thrive when I became submissive and obedient to Ken. I had been believing a lie that we could somehow have a great marriage if he did everything the way I wanted him to do it. Thankfully, it was finally pointed out to me that I was believing a lie and it has radically changed our marriage for good. I have seen truth change many marriages for good by teaching this to women.

Many women believe the lie that their children won't suffer if they work outside of the home. They have been breathing the feminist air for their entire lives. Studies have proven what God has clearly stated in His Word what is best for children: mothers being home with them full time caring, training, and disciplining their own children. I don't care if these things offend women. Many women have told me they have been offended by my words but later realize that the Lord's ways are right. Of course they are since He created us and gave us a fabulous instruction manual to follow. 

Instead of allowing others to believe in lies and walk on a path to destruction, be bold and willing to teach others the right way to live and to walk. We are commanded to speak the Truth in love, not be silent when someone wants to believe something contrary to God's Word. Explain to them that submission and obedience to a husband doesn't lead to abuse but to a good, solid marriage. Tell them how secure and emotionally stable children are who are raised with a mother home full time. Many in our culture are believing lies about themselves and who they want to believe they are when they are not. Don't sit quietly by and watch them sink lower into depravity. Make sure you tell them about your Savior who has saved you from your sins and from eternal damnation, so they might know Him too. Stop listening to the lies in our culture and dig into the Book of Life; our instruction Book from the Lord Himself.

For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.

2 Timothy 4:3, 4

Summertime: A Time to Pause and Reflect

The view from the cabin!

In the 1950s, my Grandpa built a cabin in Door County, Wisconsin. He had seven children so I had a lot of aunts and uncles. The cabin overlooks Green Bay. There is not one stoplight or fast food restaurant for fifty miles from the cabin. There was no television in the cabin while I was growing up. There are only two bedrooms, a large loft, and a very large area with a kitchen, tables, and couches. Many of the families would come up during the summer and crowd into this cabin. I would sleep up in the loft with many of my cousins.

 We live in California because my Dad went to medical school then found a good job, so we’d go up to the cabin for weeks during the summer to be with all of my mom's family. We loved it! We would walk down steps to the dock that sits right in the water where we would spend most of our time. We would eat our lunches on the dock, boats would pull us for water skiing, and we dove off a large raft. We were all in heaven!

 Time in the cabin would be spent playing games, eating, talking, and playing while the parents would be sitting on the deck talking and watching the sunset. If someone learned how to ski, we’d all go out for banana splits. Many times, one of my uncles would fix a large fish boil for all of us. Each family would take turns fixing dinner. After dinner, we’d sit around a campfire and sing songs or be entertained by the clowns in the group! Every night, we would all fall into bed exhausted and happy. They were such wonderful times with many fond memories.

Compare this to how many children are spending their summers in our country now. Children are glued to their televisions and technology gadgets while they eat junk food and become overweight. Their bodies are not moving and their minds are being polluted by too many things they are seeing. Children are losing their childhood and innocence way too early. They are missing out on sunshine, exercise, and fresh air.

Mark Twain said, “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” As Christians, we need to pause and reflect! We shouldn’t be living our lives like the culture does or be entertained by what they are entertained by. Our children should be playing outside in the sunshine and fresh air, playing games with others, learning how to have conversation with adults, and using discretion when watching a little bit of television or none at all.

If you need some ideas for your children, there’s dolls, jacks, hide-and-go seek, jump rope, coloring and painting, clay modeling, making up stories, biking, stringing popcorn, making doll clothes, sandlot baseball, hose in bathing suits, baking cookies, tricycles, wagons, trucks, paper dolls, selling lemonade, walking the dog, organizing a secret club, mud pies, tree climbing, books, I spy, hopscotch, putting on plays, doll houses, touch football, roller skating, or quiet time. Don’t allow your children to say, “I’m bored” because if they do, have a list of chores for them! They will find something to do and be creative very quickly!

Reclaim childhood for your children! Let them be children instead of becoming stagnant and polluted sitting all day in front of their television or iPad, as most are today.

This is the day that the Lord has made; 

let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24

Recipe for a Happy Childhood

Written By Mary Rice Somerville

In my spare time, I'm the management of foods (health), clothing (modesty), house (cleaning and upkeep), the happiness of the neighborhood, the environment, mental stimulation and civilization of all. When mothers mentioned their jobs, my line was: "But I thought that rearing the children WAS the job!" Since God gave me children to love, I feel that these children should get my total care and consideration and training until they all leave the home. Moms at home work plenty! Her biggest job? Being the evangelist, winning little souls to Christ and then "teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you." Moms have the most ideal situation for working for the Master and bringing in the harvest. 

Since I was home, I had time to infuse the Bible into their lives. I used to serve up family devotions while slinging the oatmeal. "And boys, I read this awful story in the Bible this morning. This fellow took his sword and jabbed it into that fat old king and the guts ran out!" That was my style. Our prayers together were like the ones in the backyard when they had lost their baseball again. I wanted them to know that the God we were praying to was real and that He cared. The results were truly convincing!

A lighthearted atmosphere, fairness, (don't punish them both - find out the offender and punish him), doing almost everything together (no shut doors with private TVs and stuff like that), apple tress for tire swings and the privacy of swinging away the child's energy and frustrations, free time for play before chore time and supper, (try not to interrupt with petty commands), reading aloud all together in one place at bedtime; maybe Bible stories, but maybe not (keep them guessing- don't lay any heavy piety on them), besides prayers at the table, pray with them over their emergencies and concerns. Watch God work! If you can get up the nerve to skip Christmas entirely it will save a lot of junk food and too-high excitement and expectations and disappointment and selfishness.

We lived for most of our life without TV. The boys had lots of stuff to read, and board games. We didn't allow cards. I still feel the main ingredient is that the child knows that Mom is on duty nearby, to find the scissors, to kiss the ouch, to watch out the window at what that mean neighbor kid is doing, to give gently reminders until its time for the flyswatter...to have enough sleep and healthy food without making a religion out of it. 

...bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4

*From The Mother's Companion

Terrible Advice for Girls

Many awful things are being taught to children and teenagers today. Here is an example of one of them.

Let me tell you what girls should be taught instead.

Advice for girls: be quiet and discreet and love others more than yourself. Start saying "I'm sorry" and stop saying "because I said so." Say "yes" to those in need and say "can I help you?" Stop taking selfies and laugh at jokes that are decent and silly. Be kind and speak truth and wear your hair to please the LORD. Help out other girls and be vocal about the good and the lovely. Enjoy being soft and feminine and apologize quickly when wrong. Don't give away your purity to anyone until you are married. 

Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

James 1:21

Her Daughter Sews Thong Bathing Suits

Recently, I was talking with an acquaintance of mine. She is not a believer and knew about my blog so she asked me about it. She mentioned that she was a feminist. I asked her if she wants to be like a man. She exclaimed, "No! I love it when my husband opens doors for me and grabs me by the elbow to help me across the street." Concerning my viral post, she responded, "I don't want my husband to do the housework. He works so hard all day. He certainly does not need to do housework." {So far, she doesn't sound much like a feminist!} Later on, she told me about her daughter who sews bathing suits to sell. I asked her for the web page. She told me, "Oh, you wouldn't like them. They are the thong type bathing suits." I asked her,"Doesn't she know what this does to men?" She didn't know how to answer. 

How would an unbeliever respond to a statement such as this one? I pondered it a while after talking with her. Does she not care that her daughter is making bathing suits for others that are promiscuous and make it difficult for men to not lust? Do women of the world even care about things like this or do they not think about it? Are they so immersed in today's culture that they simply go along with the flow and do as it does? 

As believers, we live by a higher standard, the Lord's standard. Our actions mean something. What we wear says something about us. We should know how men think and what can provoke them to lust knowing that lust is not a thing of the Lord. The lust of the eyes is one of the three main sins: the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. Should we not live our lives with careful introspection to make sure we are living for the Lord and bringing Him glory instead of living for our own lusts and satisfaction?

Even in the ministry we have in the home, we should daily be pointing our children to the Lord and to goodness and away from the things of the world. Let them see the wonder of living for the Lord. Don't make it burdensome, but show them how being in the center of His will is the safest place to be. Teach your children from the time they are young to dwell on the lovely and the good while being an example to them of living this way. Make sure they are dressed modestly as children and have a sense of shame in being naked and showing too much flesh to others. No their bottoms shouldn't be showing out in public, even as children. As your daughters grow older, explain the male sexual appetite so they are well aware of not doing anything to inflame it. For all believers are the body of Christ and must do nothing that blasphemes His Holy Name.

The fact that this woman knew I wouldn't like to see her daughter's website means that she knows her daughter's bathing suits are below my standards. I am glad that she realizes that I have higher standards than most in our culture. Do you? Do others realize that your standards are higher than cultures by the way you live your life and the clothes you wear? If you are a believer in Christ Jesus, they should since we are called to be separate from the ways of the world. We live by godly standards since this isn't our home. Our home is with Christ and it is far more valuable than anything we have down here.

Wherefore come out from among them,
 and be ye separate, saith the Lord, 
and touch not the unclean thing; 
and I will receive you.
2 Corinthians 6:16

Searching Scripture for Biblical Womanhood

Any true believer in Christ can easily search the Scriptures given that are related to biblical womanhood and find out what God's heart and will is for women. It's not difficult. The problem is clearing their mind of what culture says they are and instead, obeying what the Word says. The Bible is clear that young women are to marry, bear children, and guide the home {1 Timothy 5:14}. Women are to be sober, love and obey their husband, love their children, be chaste, good, and discreet so the Word of God will not be blasphemed {Titus 2:4, 5}. They are to have meek and quiet spirits, be quiet in the church, and not teach men or have authority over them. They are also told to be subject to their husbands in everything and those who are not married, they are to live for the Lord whatever they do. All of these are not hard to find. They are God's will for us. The problem is that most women are coming from their experiences, what they have been taught, and what culture tells them to do. 

On John Piper's blog recently, there was a woman named Kim Cash Tate who wrote a beautiful post about this topic. Here are some of her words:

Submission can ignite a lively exchange all by itself. Toss in “worker at home” and roles in the church, and you might be ticking towards an explosion. The casualty, however, is often the word of God. As believers, we have an obligation to treat Scripture — even “troublesome” passages — in a Christ-honoring way.

When we encounter hot-button issues in biblical womanhood, we do so armed with our own experiences and opinions. These issues are central to our identity as women and stir convictions that are deeply entrenched. Almost instinctively, we rise to defend them. But in Christ, we have a higher call, to elevate the Lord and His word above all.

Unfortunately, even those women who call themselves Christ followers don't like the instructions to women and rebel against them. I know. They rebel against what I teach all the time. What they are really rebelling against is the Word of God and they must not care about speaking evil against His Word. 

I fear God. I know that one day I will have to stand before Him and give an answer for how I lived my life. God will hold us accountable for what we knew. Here in America, a Bible is probably somewhere in most homes or easily found where they sell books. We can never say to him, "Oh Lord, I didn't know I was supposed to obey my husband and be a keeper at home, loving my children enough to be with them full-time." I never want to be accused of blaspheming the Word of God. I want to adorn the Word with the way I live my life and you should too.

Our Lord God is worthy of all of our praise and our obedience. We must trust that how He tells us to live our lives is for our good, our husband's good, and our children's good. Stop fighting it and begin loving and obeying your husband, staying home with your children, and doing as the Lord has called you to do with a meek and quiet spirit.

These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.

Acts 17:11

All Women are Dangerous Women

If you have not read books by Nancy Wilson, I encourage you to begin reading them. I had never heard of the Dangerous Women Conference before but it sounds amazing. These words of hers from this conference will encourage, challenge, and convict you! 

All women are dangerous women. We are either building our house or tearing it down. You want to be dangerous to the enemy, not to your children. There is no neutral option.

You need to know who your people are {your people are God’s people}, where you fit in the story, and make choices based on long-term perspective, not based on anxiety or fretfulness. You need grace and you need to be a woman of the Word.

The Bible teaches that women are prone to deception; deception is our weakness, where the enemy {our sin, the world, and the devil} is most likely to attack us. We need to be aware of the thoughts playing in our head. If a lie or foolish thought pops into our head, it is a temptation that we need to reject, not consider, not converse with, just ignore and walk away from — replace it with a true thought.

This is why we need to spend time in the Word — so we know the truth. A dangerous woman knows and believes God’s promises, and knows she can’t coast.

A dangerous woman has a strong sense of purpose, she’s paying attention and always reminding herself of the truth, she knows when she needs to hit the refresh button, to regroup and remember where she is and why she’s there.

She thinks long-term; she knows that God works patiently and He’s not in a big hurry, so she is not either.

She’s not afraid of work. She knows a clean house is not the victory line at the end of the day, it is only a means toward the end of loving her people and her God. The end is serving God and cheerfully and heartily doing the work He places in front of you.

She keeps her eyes open, she has a backbone, and she is not an easy target for unbelief and deception.

Dangerous women not only build, but beautify and glorify what they touch — the woman’s touch. We are a glory, and we glorify. We are about the business of transformation, in tangible, real, daily ways.

We love fruitfulness — not only children, but all abundance, taking something and making more of it, taking the fruit of the Spirit and manifesting it.

Home is where the action is. The enemy works to destroy homes. The home is where culture is born and bred and kept. All work outside the home comes back home daily. The home is a weapon and defense, a refuge and oasis.

The table is the center of our home: who sits at our table? are people refreshed at our table? are souls as well as bodies fed? Remember that feeding is more than nutrition and bodily necessity; eating around a table is inherently symbolic. It is practice for heaven. Make it a priority.

The table is potent and it is how we will rebuild culture.

Do not be threatened by rude comments people make about you or your family. They make such comments because they are threatened by your family and by your joy {which can only come from Christ, it is a light that shines}. Let them feel threatened; don’t feel threatened yourself. Your security is in Christ.

Protect yourself from deception. How the serpent attacked Eve warns us about how we might be tempted. He blew the restriction out of proportion and closed her eyes to her blessings, he changed the command into a question and entangled her in a conversation, he questioned God’s motives and lied to sow doubt {a question can find an answer, a doubt is “what if” or a questioning that doesn’t want to find the answer}, he minimized the consequences of disobedience and made her think it wasn’t a big deal to disobey, he got Eve to act unilaterally without her husband’s authority, he displaces authority. Thus she became a traitor and ate at Satan’s table.

Pay attention to the thoughts in your head and flee temptation rather than debate with it. Keep your wits about you.

If you want to be blessed, you must obey. God will not bless disobedience. {We don’t earn that blessing, but God’s not going to bless us no matter what what we do.}. God gives us the means and the strength to obey; we need to be asking for His grace constantly.

God reclaimed Eve, put enmity between her and the serpent, and he’s reclaimed us. Know how to get back on your game {know how to repent and move on} when you fall — gaining wisdom all the while.

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, 

and in the power of his might.

Ephesians 6:10

*You can buy the audio of the conference HERE.