If you are in an abusive relationship
and fear for your life,
please call 630-617-0088 immediately.
Here is a Faith Based Domestic Violence Help that helps women
and families in abusive situations. Here are more articles for women who are experiencing domestic violence.
When I teach women to win their husbands without a word as the Bible commands, I am not saying to not confront them with their sin or that a woman should take abuse. There are many women who don't even believe I should be teaching that a wife should be submissive to her husband for fear of abuse by the husband or they want me to change the word submission to a more palatable word.
Many times when I write about submission, abuse will come up in the comment section. I don't think many of these comments are valid and honest comments; the commenters just want to get the readers off track to what I am teaching and say abuse always happens when a wife submits. NOT SO!!! I have seen and heard of too many marriages completely turn around when a wife learns what submission is and what it looks like.
Anyways, to clear the air on my thoughts about abuse, Cabinetman responded to one of these discussions going on about abuse and wrote up a great post giving clear guidelines for any wife that is being physically abused or is even emotionally distraught over her marriage ~
1. Get someone else involved: Pastor, elders, etc. There are times when a man is not well mentally and/or spiritually where help is needed. It's okay to seek that help when a husband is not in his right mind or spirit and is very far down that road. There are times where disobedience to anyone who is not Jesus Christ may be necessary if the circumstances call for it.
2. If you are scared for your children or yourself, you need to
leave and separate for awhile. Separation doesn't necessarily (hopefully) mean divorce. Understand that if he is truly abusive this can be a dangerous time and this needs to be done carefully and with wisdom. You need to have a plan and execute it quickly and quietly. If you do not know what I am speaking about please research this before you take that step (carefully research).
3. Walk your husband through the steps in Matthew 18. I applaud you for seeking to win your husband without a word. I understand that some human hearts are very hard and this can take years and even decades. Men need to deal with their sin and be brought to repentance This can still be done in a respectful way and done in love ~ although it may seem harsh at the time. There are times when a husband who is to lead his family and actions might seem unloving or harsh for a period of time when circumstances or sin pops up. But a husband's primary responsibility is to love his wife sacrificially and serve her and when she is trying to respect him, that should be the overwhelming response she is getting from him. If it is not, he is in serious sin.
4. If there is physical abuse, it is not only okay to involve law enforcement, but often necessary to involve law enforcement.
I hear day and night of "verbal abuse" from women when it clearly is not. There are also always two sides to every story. But, if there is something seriously wrong with your husband and in your marriage relationship, you need to seek help. The best healing and medicine for that is Jesus Christ and obedience to His Word. I'm a big believer in marriage that lasts forever and honors God and in the roles the Lord lays out in scripture. But scripture has more to it than those verses on marriage and a wife winning her husband, however powerfully, true and life giving they are.
Continue to pray for the man. But sometimes the best way we can respect and love someone is to call them on their sin and force them to deal with it- whether man or woman.
My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.
James 5:19,20
