Wednesday, October 1, 2014

How the Joy Filled Wife Deals with Temptation



It's a fact of life that we can't ultimately avoid the things that tempt us 100%, unless we become a hermit and live in fear. We can easily give into fear and paranoia about coming into contact with the things that tempt us, if we are not careful. That's where I was with my husband's addiction in the beginning. I was absolutely paranoid that we would be somewhere and would walk past scantily clad women {which we did...CONSTANTLY, because that's the norm for most women nowadays}. That fear not only made the healing process take longer, but it caused strain on our relationship, it tempted me to judge the women instead of seeing them as valuable in God's eyes, and it provoked a hundred million sinful thoughts to go round and round inside my head. Fear is a nasty wildfire that grows quickly once a spark is kindled. 

Trying to avoid the things that spur on temptation are usually wise in the beginning as the Lord works on our hearts, but we must be extremely careful not to allow ourselves to give into the fear of ever coming across those things that tempt us. Getting rid of that fear can sometimes be harder than overcoming the initial temptation we were struggling with because we may think that our fear of giving into sin is healthy. In reality, any kind of fear {except reverent fear of the Lord} is sinful. We are not trusting God when we are fearful. 

Let's face the facts that the enemy is going to be very vigilant about making sure he presents as many opportunities for you to become tempted where you're most vulnerable, in hopes that you'll give into sin. You need to be aware of this, but not allow it to cause paranoia. That's really, really important. What I had to do {and I still do this!} is to say Scripture out loud right away when you feel temptation coming on. Look up Scriptures that tell you the Truth about the subject of contentment and the sin of envy and say them out loud {quietly, if you must} the second you start feeling tempted to become discontent with what you have or do not have. 

Don't purposely walk around malls or electronic stores if they provoke you, but be aware that you probably can't avoid it entirely and it's important that you enact the plan to recite the Truth of Scripture whenever those moments of dissatisfaction arise {and that could happen when you're no t even a round those things!}. I am a big advocate of being very cautious about social media as well. I closed down my Facebook over 2 years ago and, after seeing how much more grateful and content I was by not being on there, I wish I had never started one in the first place. It's the same thing with Instagram or Pinterest or Twitter and such. If you find that something is constantly provoking temptation toward dissatisfaction, you don't need it in your life. We are tempted enough without anything adding to the problem. 

I gave up almost every single thing in my life when my husband was living in sin and I did without some of the most basic, basic necessities of life while God was trying to get my husband's attention. My husband commented to me two nights ago after he had just finished spending time in prayer that he was so humbled and grateful that I was willing to give up everything to go along with the Lord's plan. 

There was a time when we were literally days away from having to live out of the car and I told my husband, with a smile, that I would do so with joy, if the Lord so called us to do that. I lived with only a handful of articles of clothing {all which BADLY needed replacing}, one pair of shoes, and having only a half a cup of rice to be found in our home for food. There were many days when we didn't know where our next meal would come from or if we would end up homeless. The Lord took His hand of blessing off of everything we did, no matter how hard we worked, because He knew it would take something that drastic to finally get my husband's attention. There were times when I badly needed to replace my phone because it wasn't receiving or sending calls or texts and I needed it for appointments for my husband's company. We simply didn't have money to replace it. 

It's was not my favorite thing to live void of some of the basic necessities of life {or some of the luxuries}, but I learned the valuable lesson of obedience to God and holding things very, very loosely. I told the Lord in my quiet times that I would gladly give up every luxury, and even basic necessities, if it would help point my husband back to the cross. I truly, truly, do know what it's like to have plenty and what it's like to be in want. I have learned the secret to being content in all situations. Remember, dear sister, that God desires to use the things you lack in order to cultivate in you complete satisfaction and contentment in Him. After all, what would you truly have if you had everything you wanted, but you didn't have Jesus? What in this life could mean any more than true contentment in Him? 

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
I Corinthians 10:13

Comments (22)

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hello JFW and Lori too

thank you for your testimony and words of wisdom, your last paragraph reminded me of a quote by Spurgeon

'Hold everything earthly with a loose hand; but grasp eternal things with a death-like grip'

I think what we also lose sight of is that Gods primary goal whilst we are on earth is holiness, not happiness, ie becoming like his son (Romans 8 vs29). That includes marriage of course which is why we are joined together in 'holy matrimony'!.

When holiness is our goal, we see traumas/trials as an opportunity for growth rather than reasons to bail out because we think our marriage 'isn't working'.

Blessings to you
Helen UK
2 replies · active 547 weeks ago
Wonderful thoughts, Helen! Thank you.
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thejoyfilledwife · 547 weeks ago

You are so right, Helen. As a friend of mine has often reminded me, "Every setback is a setup for a comeback." What that means spiritually is that every challenge and trial we face is there to make us stronger and sanctify us more.

When we are facing trials that have us on our knees or face down, as mine do continually, may we remember that God gives His toughest battles to His strongest soldiers. <3
What wonderful testimony and advice! To add my own, just as Joyfilledwife recites scripture, I was always taught as a girl when I felt tempted to sing or hum a hymn. It's amazing how quickly the temptation flees when you invite The Lord to be near you!
2 replies · active 547 weeks ago
Yes, Anna, renewing our mind with God's Truth is always the best way to go!
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thejoyfilledwife · 547 weeks ago

Love that idea! Turning KLOVE radio on at home or in the car has always helped me when I'm really struggling.
You are such a blessing to me, JoyFilledWife!

Suggesting Scripture so that we focus on truth when we are tempted is a helpful suggestion! It is making our thoughts His thoughts- Having the mind of Christ! Speaking of which, I just wanted to let you know that I saw your recommendation for the Mind of Christ Bible study (by T.W. Hunt) in the comments to another post on Lori's blog. I am starting Unit 3 this week. It has been such a powerful study so far, and I am very thankful that you mentioned it! I am amazed at how the Lord is answering my prayers to give me His mind! For example, I was struggling with knowing how to handle a situation with one of my children the other day, and as I was praying about it, specific scripture came to mind. I knew exactly how I needed to go about resolving it. His Word is alive and it is so exciting to see it taking root deeper and deeper in me!

Much love in Christ!

-HisHelper
2 replies · active 547 weeks ago
It is SO important to be in God's Word constantly so we can fight the lies all around us. It sure is living and active!
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thejoyfilledwife · 547 weeks ago

You're so welcome, HisHelper. My counselor recommended that study to me and said that they don't recommend it to most people they counsel because it's extremely intense and would be too much for most. I just couldn't put it down, no matter how challenging it was. It really helps us take a good, long look at the state of our heart and mind, much in the same way that The Excellent Wife book does, only more thorough.
Thank you for this post today. It was a blessing to me.
2 replies · active 547 weeks ago
It was to me also, Lynette. I always enjoy TJFW's comments and writings!
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thejoyfilledwife · 547 weeks ago

Glory to God, sister. <3
This was such a blessing and right on time. The examples thjw used were the exact sins i was struggling with particulary the sin of comparing myself to other women and facebook and social media is such a temptation in this area. This truly was an answer to prayer for me. I have been asking God to help me in this area. I guess i was childishly thinking Gos was gonna just zap me and boom i wouldnt struggle ever again with sinfully comparing myself to otehr women or becoming judgemental. God is telling me His promise torenew my mind still stands but i must take those sinful thoughts captive and replace them with the truth of His word
3 replies · active 547 weeks ago
Right on, Jessica! It sounds like you got it.
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thejoyfilledwife · 547 weeks ago

Jessica,

I learned many years ago that God never just seamlessly removes the struggles I'm facing personally. Instead, He gives me LOTS and LOTS of opportunities to grow and overcome it. :)
Reading this post once is not enough.
We are tempted everyday, in every way. I like what Helen said about being holy and not happiness.
Now I'm ending my comment so I can read this post again!
Thank You!
5 replies · active 547 weeks ago
I agree, Christine! I wish I would have thought of a better title so more people would have read it like, "She Gave Up Facebook and Twitter!" That probably would have attracted more attention. I just LOVE TJFW's writings. She is one very wise young woman!
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thejoyfilledwife · 547 weeks ago

Thank you, Lori. You have heard me say that I have no one to credit that to but the Lord. Wisdom is the one thing I have prayed for more in my life than anything else. God is so faithful to answer our heartfelt prayers.
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thejoyfilledwife · 547 weeks ago

I think we are sometimes clueless about some of the things we allow in our life that provoke sin in our hearts. Unfortunately, that was not the case for me with Facebook and Instagram. I always felt further away from God as I participated in social media. It's really a web version of "keeping up with the Jones'" and, with the vast majority of people on them, they are grossly misrepresenting their life on there.

The Lord opened my eyes to the pain that was going on behind the computer screen in the homes of people I was friends with when I would visit them in person and be utterly shocked at how vastly different their lives were in real life compared to on social media. It was a very important awakening for me and made me question why I had held onto it for so long. I felt like I was set free from a lot of bondage when I walked away from it.
JFW,

I have had a love hate relationship with facebook. I have deleted my account more than once, but got back on with the intention to use it only to stay in contact with family out of town or to post things i felt led by God to post. But it always gets to the place where i begin to feel myelf giving in to the temptation to compare or to judge others motives. " like why is she posting that when i know her marraige is in trouble or things like that." But lately i have been on my face about this very thing and how facebook, pinterest, instagram and other social media has desensitized us to the sin of boasting. I was in prayer asking God what He wanted me to do and i think the wisest choice is to delete it For good and let the Lord work on my heart. I know deleting my facebook wont cleanse my heart but it will remove an unnecesary source of temptation. Thank you soooo much for sharing
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thejoyfilledwife · 547 weeks ago

Such wisdom, Jessica. I know you will be so glad you were obedient to the Lord to follow His leading on this.

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