Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Do Careers for Women Give Men an Easy Way Out?

With wives getting education and careers, do they really need a husband to provide for them? How has women leaving the home in droves to pursue careers affected marriage? This was enlightening comment on one of my posts recently and I thought I would share it ~

My parents divorced and my mother had her own career and was able to fully support herself.  My husband's parents had many years of a difficult marriage, with a bout of infidelity thrown in for good measure, and as much as my mother-in-law wanted to leave and be done with it, she couldn't leave because she had nowhere to go because she was an at-home mom. As much as my father-in-law wanted to be done, he couldn't because they had four children to raise and where would his wife go?  All the kids are grown now and they've been together 40 years! They simply had to learn to work together and they did. 

In my mom's case, the career meant she wasn't able to be present for my dad. She worked days, he worked nights. She was stressed, he was stressed. My dad got tired of it and wanted out. He knew my mom could take care of herself. If she didn't have the career, would the decision to divorce have weighed on his conscience more? Possibly, yes. If she didn't have the career, would she have put more energy into the family and relationship with with dad? Possibly, yes. My point is that which came first, the chicken or the egg? Did divorce happen because of women working? Or did working women happen because of divorce? I think we're TOLD it's the latter...but I wonder if really it's the former.

I completely believe it is the former. Before women left the home and pursued careers, divorce was much less. In the late 1800's, the divorce was between 3-5% and the article states, "One factor that influenced divorce statistics at this time was the fact that women, outside of marriage, had very few economic opportunities." Before you get all riled up, I am not saying we should go back to the time when women didn't haven't any economic opportunities. In my opinion, if a wife wants to add to her family's income or has some extra time, she should figure out a way to make some money from home where she could still manage the home and family, yet be her own boss and not some other man. She could care for a few extra children, run an etsy shop, cook for others, get into photography, or find something that uses her talents and that she enjoys. With the Internet, there are many ways a woman could find a way to bring in some extra cash. I know many women help their husbands with their business. Just make sure you keep your marriage and family as your top priority!

Pastor Jack Graham wrote this recently ~ "The number one question asked by teenagers of their fathers today isn't, 'Dad, can I have the car key? It's not, 'Can you raise my allowance?' No, the number one question kids ask today is, 'Dad, do you love mom?'" So many of our children today live in fear. They have a constant nightmare that somehow their family is going to break down. And for far, far too many of these precious boys and girls, that nightmare becomes a reality when either dad or mom checks out of the marital relationship."

It's just TOO much to ask women with children to hold down a career, keep a strong marriage by being a help meet to her husband, train her children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord, and keep a clean and tidy home. Be wise in the decisions you make, women. Our decisions have far-reaching consequences for our children and society.

Marriage should be honored by all.
Hebrews 13:4