Jennifer Garner {a famous movie actress} believes this question is sexist. Many people ask her how she balances work and family. No one ever asks her husband this question even though they have the same family and same job. She doesn't think this is fair at all. What do you think?
It is amazing that many years after the feminist movement and the majority of mothers working outside of the home that this question is still asked to women and not men. Why? Because women will always be the one whose primary responsibility is the home, no matter how hard they try to have the same roles as men.
The majority of men will never be able to make a home like a woman does and men will never be able to have babies. Some things are inherited because of our sex, not what society is trying to make "fair." Women will always be the ones where babies are grown in and then nurse at the breast. Men can never take this job. Women will always have more of the nesting instinct than men and men will be the ones more apt to shoulder the responsibility of providing.
I don't care what century you live in or what society you grow up in, women will always be the ones bearing, nursing, and making a home for their babies. It is their God-given instinct. When a child is sick, they are the ones who will instinctively want to be home with them. They can multitask and do many things at one time. They are the ones best suited to be at home and raise children.
I have had friends divorce their husbands because their husbands gave the children cheerios for dinner and put them to bed in their regular clothes! They will usually forget to bathe them too. Most of them just don't have the "home" instinct that women have and when women are asked how they juggle work and family, they will usually admit to feeling guilty since they know that running a home and raising children are primarily their role no matter how feminized our society becomes.
A man buys a house. His wife makes it a home. A man gives his name to his wife. She, if the Lord wills, gives him children with his name. Your worth is above rubies, dear women. NEVER let anyone convince you otherwise. This is the way it has been since time began and NOTHING feminist try to do will ever change this.
Can a woman forget her nursing child
And have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Isaiah 49:15
Logging you in...
Ksdee · 544 weeks ago
If this was the reasoning for divorce, the marriage was over long before this occurred. My guess is that the true reason for the divorce may have centered around these women wanting to have control and feeling that they were not getting it. These women should be honoring their husbands and understand the critical bond between dad and kids, and talking honorably with them to determine what's best for the kids. Women may have the motherly instinct, men may have the fatherly instinct and both parents need to work together for their kids' well-being.
Jennifer Garner likely has assistance with child-raising as she has the financial means that many women do not have. Same with all of the Hollywood people. Anyone who follows these Hollywood types need to understand that snippets of text and photo's that are published are generally press opportunities and hardly indicative of how they actually run their households. How many times have we seen photos of famous actresses unglamorously changing diapers or dealing with a kid's temper tantrum in a public setting? What we see is staged publishing.
Cynthia · 544 weeks ago
I'm not so sure about the nesting part, though. Men are capable of cleaning. How many men work as janitors? Same thing with cooking - there are tons of male cooks and chefs.
Some personalities are naturally clean and organized. These people often have strong visual-spatial skills. That's not a male vs. female thing. Visual-spatial skills are also used by handymen and engineers. My father is like this. He keeps things clean and organized at home, for the same reasons that he kept things clean and organized at the office. His can't stand disorganization. Nobody would consider it feminine that he could have clear flow charts or instantly put his hands on tax receipts. My visual-spatial skills aren't nearly as strong, and my husband's are severely lacking. So, my particular husband can't load a dishwasher - but he also can't do repairs or write legibly for the same reason. Thankfully, his office is fully computerized!
Your comment about your friends, though, touches on a common problem with many wives. When their husbands do something a bit differently, or in a way that isn't instantly up to their standards, they run in and take over and criticize. Nobody can possibly learn a new skill that way! If it's not harmful, there's no need to intervene. Kids can survive eating breakfast for dinner. They can survive sleeping in their day schools. When given the opportunity to be a hands-on parent, and not treated like an uncompetent buffoon, I've seen many dads rise to the challenge. On the other hand, if a man's efforts are made with criticism and the automatic assumption that he's incapable and invading his wife's turf, why would he continue to make an effort?
When my oldest was born, my husband's position allowed him to take a paid leave for 12 weeks, which he started when she was 5 mos. old. I bit my tongue and didn't tell him what to do. The first day, she had a massive diaper blow-out and he hadn't checked the diaper bag for extra diapers, clothes and blankets. I said nothing, because he quickly realized the problem. There was no need to nag, and he never made that mistake again. He learned the same way that I learned to be a mom - by hands-on experience.
Katie · 544 weeks ago
elspethbreathinggrace 46p · 544 weeks ago
You may have overstated the limits of men's capabilities when it comes to home keeping. The roles in our marriage are very rigidly defined, so my husband rarely does any housework. But when he has had to do so (due to my being ill or some other thing) he does a superb job. Gives the kids wholesome meals, makes sure they are clean, and he is generally more organized than me anyway.
The question was stupid because like all rich and/or famous people, Mrs. Affleck's household isn't typical. It was a textbook case of a wealthy liberal attempting to project their values as workable for everyone when they are simply not transferrable.
Of course, where you and I are in complete agreement is that this is largely irrelevant from a Biblical standpoint. Wife is supposed to be keeping home and rearing children. Husband leads, guides, protects and provides for the family.
-Els
Where either one of us falls short in innate ability, we are to prayerfully and diligently make it our business to walk out what God has commanded of us.
Loving being Mrs. W · 544 weeks ago
Tiffany · 544 weeks ago
Jessa · 544 weeks ago
Cynthia · 544 weeks ago
I think it's really important to acknowledge that much of what we do has to do with time and effort, not just natural talent.
Yes, in the early days when pregnancy and birth and breastfeeding are big factors, women are often the ones with the babies. After that pattern is set, the mom is often the one who knows just what needs to be done with the daily schedule, who gives the cuddles, who knows that a child is coming down with an illness, who knows that Child A always wants the sauce on the side and that Child B hates broccoli but will happily eat cauliflower, etc. The mom wasn't born knowing this stuff. She knows it because SHE DOES IT, day in and day out.
Any man who hasn't been spending those countless hands-on hours taking care of the children isn't suddenly going to have the same skills and knowledge and comfort with the kids. That doesn't mean that he's incapable. It doesn't mean that he lacks the ability to ever learn. As mothers, we can recognize our hard work with our children and the skills that we've developed as a result, WITHOUT putting down their fathers. Even jokes can be a subtle form of disrespect.
Some basic instructions at first are helpful. As a new mom, I once needed someone to show me basics too. After that, though, dads can figure things out themselves and be respected as full parents, not just helpers or babysitters. Yes, some dads will have their own style and do things a little differently. Unless it's truly harmful, there's no reason to rush in to "give direction" or otherwise interfere. It undermines dads when moms do this. At the more extreme ends, I've seen some moms, who truly believed that they were doing the best for their children and that they were naturally superior parents, actually sabotage the dads' whole relationship with the children. Children see what goes on. If they see mom constantly rush in insist that the child is dressed wrong, or that dad isn't feeding them properly, or that dad doing this or that, they will lose respect for dad as a parent. ["Joking" as a form of disrespect isn't acceptable just because it reinforces traditional roles. That's one of the reasons that I refuse to watch movies like "Mom's Night Out".]
It's the same thing with work outside of the home. It's not that men are naturally so much more successful. It's that women are much more likely to be taking time out of the workforce to be with children, pulling double duty at home even when they are in the workforce, and consciously choosing to work jobs that are more flexible and family-friendly. Even when there are no small children at home, a wife is more likely to be taking care of the home and the husband. A man's success at work is often the result of the support he has from his wife. Her contribution and sacrifice needs to be acknowledged. I recently heard of a dramatic example of this. Former Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin was a strong, tough leader. He had outrun Nazis, survived Soviet interrogation and brutal prison conditions, led an underground militia, and eventually became Prime Minister. He was known as a hawk and a tough negotiator. His wife, Aliza, really wasn't in the public eye. When she got sick, however, he was distressed and visited her every day, sometimes twice a day, in the hospital. When she suddenly passed away, he simply couldn't function without her.
Jo · 544 weeks ago
In a quote I used in my blog post this week, women are the artists that make a house a home which I thought was a lovely way to put it. I like being that artist :))
Skylar · 544 weeks ago
helen · 544 weeks ago
I do believe that God has given women a different eye for detail and finishing touches, and a multi tasking brain as Lori has mentioned.
I notice things that my husband just doesn't see, and he always says that I have a gift for arranging things and those finishing touches that make the difference. We have recently been working on updating our Guest Room and I had a day to clean and finish it off whilst he was at work. His comment on seeing the finished result was that I had 'made' the room with those last little details such as mats/covers and the arrangement of the room. I didn't really buy anything new, just used things we already had and brought some pretty covers out of the linen storage cupboard. A lovely lady at church had gifted us with a beautiful bedspread that she had for many years but was now having to get rid of, along with other things, as she was moving into a care home. It was the perfect colour to blend in with the new paint!. I much prefer recycling and reusing where I can, we all have too much stuff I think.
Blessings
Helen UK
Kim · 544 weeks ago
anning
I'm am not a girly girl, don't care to master pie making, knitting can drive me to murder, and love to read Supreme Courts decisions. Being a stay at home mom was temporary. I have a patchwork of jobs that continues to grow. I'm up to 20 hrs a week, and keeping getting calls by word of mouth. Staying at home drove me insane, and this is better. My children are more responsible, my husband more relaxed. I grow weary of the PR on both sides as I think each husband/wife must do what is best for the family with what they are given.
Jamie · 544 weeks ago