Any true believer in Christ can easily search the Scriptures given that are related to biblical womanhood and find out what God's heart and will is for women. It's not difficult. The problem is clearing their mind of what culture says they are and instead, obeying what the Word says. The Bible is clear that young women are to marry, bear children, and guide the home {1 Timothy 5:14}. Women are to be sober, love and obey their husband, love their children, be chaste, good, and discreet so the Word of God will not be blasphemed {Titus 2:4, 5}. They are to have meek and quiet spirits, be quiet in the church, and not teach men or have authority over them. They are also told to be subject to their husbands in everything and those who are not married, they are to live for the Lord whatever they do. All of these are not hard to find. They are God's will for us. The problem is that most women are coming from their experiences, what they have been taught, and what culture tells them to do.
On John Piper's blog recently, there was a woman named Kim Cash Tate who wrote a beautiful post about this topic. Here are some of her words:
Submission can ignite a
lively exchange all by itself. Toss in “worker at home” and roles in the
church, and you might be ticking towards an explosion. The casualty, however,
is often the word of God. As believers, we have an obligation to treat Scripture
— even “troublesome” passages — in a Christ-honoring way.
When we encounter hot-button issues in biblical
womanhood, we do so armed with our own experiences and opinions. These issues
are central to our identity as women and stir convictions that are deeply
entrenched. Almost instinctively, we rise to defend them. But in Christ, we
have a higher call, to elevate the Lord and His word above all.
Unfortunately, even those women who call themselves Christ followers don't like the instructions to women and rebel against them. I know. They rebel against what I teach all the time. What they are really rebelling against is the Word of God and they must not care about speaking evil against His Word.
I fear God. I know that one day I will have to stand before Him and give an answer for how I lived my life. God will hold us accountable for what we knew. Here in America, a Bible is probably somewhere in most homes or easily found where they sell books. We can never say to him, "Oh Lord, I didn't know I was supposed to obey my husband and be a keeper at home, loving my children enough to be with them full-time." I never want to be accused of blaspheming the Word of God. I want to adorn the Word with the way I live my life and you should too.
Our Lord God is worthy of all of our praise and our obedience. We must trust that how He tells us to live our lives is for our good, our husband's good, and our children's good. Stop fighting it and begin loving and obeying your husband, staying home with your children, and doing as the Lord has called you to do with a meek and quiet spirit.
These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.
Acts 17:11
Logging you in...
guest · 454 weeks ago
If a woman is unmarried and has no children, how can she follow the admonitions of 1 Timothy 5:14}? -- since these verses apply to wives and mothers,
What are the specific Biblical guidelines (verses) for single, childless women -- particularly women who are now 40-50+ .
The Bible gives many admonitions for wives and mothers and your blog concentrates on them. However, there are many, many single, childless Christian women for whom Titus, Proverbs and Timothy are **not* an exact fit -- because they are single and childless.
How would you mentor these women, particularly older women fro whom children are now impossible (post-menopause) and marriage is unlikely?
Lori Alexander 122p · 454 weeks ago
This verse is directed to older widows but can apply to any older women: "Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work." (1 Tim. 5:10) No, the raising children wouldn't apply to you but the rest would. She is one who goes about doing good. There is such a need for this in our culture.
Kelley · 454 weeks ago
Wisdom is our sister and understanding is our kinswoman. No matter what our status in life, women of understanding, wisdom and knowledge is what we should desire, hunger and thirst to be. After Godms own heart.
Oh, Lord, I pray for our single sisters today who have so very much to offer as You use them for Your glory. Encourage them today with Your love as only You can.
*hugs*
Kelley~
Lori Alexander 122p · 454 weeks ago
elspethbreathinggrace 46p · 454 weeks ago
Where you often lose me is here: We are to be subject to our husbands in every thing. If for whatever reasons our husbands desire something that does not line up word for word with what Scripture says, I often fear your tone and delivery set wives up to be disillusioned with or have less respect for their husbands in their hearts, if not in their actions.
Whether it's a husband who sincerely believes -rightly or wrongly- that he needs his wife to help provide income, or (as is the case in my own marriage), a husband who has very specific opinions about his wife's dress that he is willing to back up with spending money on what someone else might consider "too many clothes".
As a wife who has been in the position of wondering, thankfully only very briefly, if my husband's leadership of me is "godly enough", it seems to me that spiritual discontent is always a risk when we tell women that they are to submit to their husbands in everything and then tell them that what their husbands request is sinful. Please keep in mind that when I say that I am not referring to things that are obviously sinful.
Biblical wife-hood is almost entirely tied to a willingness to prayerfully and with full confidence follow your husband's lead even when you don't understand, having faith that God -who is not shocked or surprised by any situation we find ourselves in- can use it for the good of those who trust in Him.
Just my .02
-Terry
Lori Alexander 122p · 454 weeks ago
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. (Eph. 5:24)
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; (1 Peter 3:1)
If a woman is being physically abused or asked to do something blatantly sinful, I have a post on my side bar labelled "***IN CASES OF ABUSE***.
For a husband who wants his wife to work outside of the home, even if the wife believes her husband is being disobedient and he may very well be (I mentor women who work full-time and their husbands don't work at all), they are still to follow 1 Peter 3:1: be in subjection to them with godly behavior (loving, submitting, respecting, etc.). You said your husband asks you to wear "too many clothes." This is not sinful at all! If he wanted you to wear a bikini, it would be different and I would encourage the wife to make an appeal to her husband about it. I have mentored women in this situation.
The bottom line is no matter what situation they are in, they still are called to love, respect, reverence, and obey their husbands. Am I not getting what you meant?
elspethbreathinggrace 46p · 454 weeks ago
But even a cursory reading of God's dealings with Israel make it pretty clear that God is not moved by outward actions void of a heart to match. Reverence and respect absolutely have an emotional component to them and I don't think you can really reverence someone you feel is leading you down a sinful path.
Again, with the caveat that we're clear about the unambiguous nature of the sin. Let's define clear sin as a violation of the 10 commandments, Galatians 5:19-21, coupled with the reinforcement by the two greatest commandments.
I know how you feel about emotions, but feels are giving by God as indicators. The problem with our culture is that we have elevated them to the status of dictators, which leads to all kinds of sin and folly.Reverence comes from the heart, Lori. You feel it. Respect comes from the heart. It is coupled by feelings of gratitude and a desire to please.
I am a homeschool mother whose husband is emphatic about my being at home, so I don't have a dog in that hunt. But the Bible teaches that wives should be primarily focused on home, not that they have to stay in there. There are wives who choose jobs over careers precisely so that they can honor their husbands while still being able to have the flexibility to make home a top priority. It's not ideal, but they are doing the best they can. Most importantly, they are showing their husbands that they value his concerns and priorities.
Sometimes I can't help but wonder how a wife can believe her husband is leading her astray -when he isn't even asking her to sin!- and simultaneously reverence him. Perhaps this is an issue of semantics and definitions. Perhaps we genuinely disagree, but thank you for indulging my concerns.
-Terry
Lori Alexander 122p · 454 weeks ago
I always encourage the woman not to allow their emotions to be a barometer to their actions. Many times by deciding to do these things, even when they believe their husbands are being disobedient, the heart will follow. My heart wasn't into it when I first began treating Ken with respect and obey him, even though he wasn't even being disobedient, but I did it any ways. The heart will usually follow behavior.
Ken · 454 weeks ago
Lori asked me to review your comments to try to understand the essence of them. From what I'm reading you appear to be in common agreement with Lori on everything she teaches, but your disagreement comes from the emphasis she places on certain things, such as “keepers at home.” You must see exceptions to the rule, and Lori does too, but Lori's job is not to teach the exceptions, but to teach the Biblical admonition exactly as God teaches in his Word. If you could find exceptions to the admonition which was a clear biblical instruction, I bet Lori would be teaching it.
What you can find are a few examples of women who worked, but we have no way of knowing whether they had children or not. Priscilla and Lydia would be two examples, and we don't know for sure if they worked out of their home or in their homes; but most likely in the home.
Lori's role as the “older godly woman,” is to train the younger women, not in the exceptions of God's Word, but in the clear instructions of His Word. Her job is to teach God's laws, admonitions, and ideals, not deal in the exceptions.
It seems that people who get the exceptions far too often use them as an excuse to excuse their own willful disobedience to the Word. Once thick section shows up they think, “ah ha, there I have my excuse for why I am working outside of my home. If God makes exceptions for some women, that he must make one for me.
Read the biblical admonitions given to women concerning their role in the family and tell me that there are not now just as many women or more were living in the realm of exceptions instead of God’s instructions. Yet you and many women like to, as you're not alone, want Lori to teach exceptions, when it is so plain to see that over half of Christian women want an exemption from the rule. Where do they get this idea that they should get the exemption? They get it from the world, not from the Word.
You also seem to be making the point that if Lori teaches strongly that women are to be keepers at home, and a husband desires that his wife work, that somehow she will lose respect for her husband in that he is causing her to sin, or he is sinning by making her work. If a wife obeys her husband in this area she is without fault, as she is following the stronger admonition of “wives be subject to your husbands in everything.” Her husband provides the covering she needs before the Lord. The husband is not necessarily in sin, having his wife work, as he may yet be ignorant as to the Biblical admonition that she should be at home, or perhaps he has checked in with the Spirit and determined that this time and situation, she needs to be working. It is his call, and we do not judge the godly man who is at liberty to have his wife work so long as he understanding God’s clear design for wives. This may be for a short season, or part time work, or as he believes the Lord is leading him and His family.
Ken · 454 weeks ago
A wife is to respect her husband’s role as leader and follow his lead. We believe that a wife following her husband in everything means everything that is not clearly against God’s moral codes. There is a difference between the admonitions of how we should live and God’s moral laws, and the believer is always trying to accomplish both, but also understands that God’s laws and admonitions carry differing weight. One might say God’s laws focus more on the bigger crimes and eternal consequences and God’s admonitions more on earthy consequences. When we do things God’s ways, according to His clear instruction manual we reap His blessings here on earth. When we disobey His precepts and admonitions we often see destruction, instead of the good things in life as God designed them to be.
The perfect example is the wife who goes back to work full time three weeks after she delivers a baby girl and is not there to properly bond with her. Her husband wants her to work, and she wants to work, and yet it is not without consequences, sometimes quite severe in the life of the child. Study inappropriate bonding for children and tell me we do with the many in society on meds and emotional / mental illnesses that come from it. Now tell me it was worth it. Yet over 50% of Christian women are working outside the home, even knowing they are playing Russian roulette with the bonding of their child.
So which exceptions should be given by Lori? None, but that is not to say that individual couples cannot invoke the liberty clause and go away from God’s clear teaching on the matter, to rest in the confidence of what the Spirit inside of them has given them as an exception. Lori cannot give them that exception. The parents have to claim an exception, and then pray the Lord is in it with them to help their children grow up to be part of the next well-adjusted, loving generation of believers who can advance the Kingdom of God.
Why battle for the few exceptions when we know for a fact that most exceptions are invalid? Instead we battle for the clear instruction, “wives are to be keepers at home” and allow couples to determine their individual exceptions before the Lord.
IamwithHim 12p · 454 weeks ago
Does that mean no singing, no praise and worship and that women should not pray out loud in church?
I have grown up in churches where the women prayed and prophesied; was that wrong according to the letter of the Word?
Was it translated from Greek/Hebrew correctly or was it taken out of context? Or was Paul talking to the women of that day because they where uneducated and therefore making too much noise in the meeting? Was Paul trying to bring order among all the noise?
I would love to know your thoughts on it, Lori: where do we draw the line in your opinion?
What are your feelings on women such as Joyce Myer who have had people saved left, right and center in their ministry? All these things have been going through my mind lately – where does the right answer lie? Just seeking answers of late, it’s all been going around in my mind a lot!
Thanks Lori for your insight!
Lori Alexander 122p · 454 weeks ago
The Word clearly states that women are to be silent in the churches, not teach or have authority over men and elders and deacons are to be the husband of "one wife." Therefore, men are to be the ones teaching and praying. Women can sing and praise the Lord with the rest of the congregation but any women who are "preachers" are clearly against the clear instructions in the Word no matter how many they bring to the Lord.
ALM · 454 weeks ago
It was a running joke in my family that even since I was little, I didn't know what I wanted to do. Maybe because the path that fit me was never given as an option. I remember praying one day to God, entrusting to him that I knew he would show me someday what he meant for me to do with my abilities and my heart. Never would I have guessed that I would be blessed to meet my husband while I was young and marry. Though the pressures were still there to not rely on him and to seek out further schooling and a career for my own fulfillment. Circumstances beyond our control made it so I needed to take a break from school.
The years of anxiety slowly lifted as I found confidence in the support of my husband as I learned how to take care of him and our home. I never returned to school. Though my husband would have gladly done whatever was needed to get me through, I never felt right about moving him around and delaying the start of our family just so I could have some important job. He after all is the leader and provider and I wanted to build him up in his career which he was so driven in. It just never made sense for me to pursue a career at the expense of raising children, no matter the worldly justifications. Besides, it became abundantly clear that my husband needed the support and home care as much as I did while he worked hard to provide.
God's perfect plan unfolded before us. Husband as the provider, wife as the helper. It is a shame that Christian women blaspheme the word of God by refusing to be submissive help meets. It has made all the difference in my marriage when I stopped trying to change my husband and instead submitted to his preferences, building him up and letting go of my angry pride. He is so gentle and eager to meet my needs now that he knows I respect his needs, much like when we were dating.
God has placed me exactly where he new I would best thrive and serve; in the heart of the family. No career could provide the fulfillment I enjoy by carefully managing the finances, food, and care of our home, to the great relief of my husband. Hopefully soon we will have children so that the perfection of God's blessings may be complete. Thank you for teaching simply and practically what God wants for women. Helping wives and mothers to cleanse themselves from deception to see clearly what God has written. His yolk is easy and his burden is light.
Lori Alexander 122p · 454 weeks ago
Anonymous · 454 weeks ago
On another note, I wanted to let you know about a movie coming out this fall. Rory Feek had filmed that last couple of years of he and Joey's life, and is turning it into a documentary about her life and legacy. It will be in theaters for one night only, and it looks like it will be incredible! I have seen you post about them before, and I thought you might be interested in this if you haven't heard about it already. You can watch the trailer and view showtimes on tojoeywithlove.com
Blessings! Have a wonderful weekend!
Lori Alexander 122p · 454 weeks ago
Washing Words · 454 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 454 weeks ago