This title would certainly grab most people, don't you think? Another magazine has
picked up my viral post – The US Weekly. The title was Blogger Under Fire for Sexist Post: Men Should Never Do Housework. Of course, I never said it this way
but it’s a great way to get people to read their post about me. They like to
sensationalize it. This doesn’t bother me. Many have twisted my words to make
them out to be more than I ever said but this is okay. I know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose {Romans 8:28}.
A few feminists,
however, understand the logic in my post. Ethel commented on the US Weekly
Facebook page; "In a
crazy way I kinda agree with her. Think about it, the husband goes out and
works all day while the wife is a 'stay-at-home wife." So he works
outside the home and she works at home cleaning and cooking, etc. So now you
want him to work outside and inside the home? When does he get a break?
I'm not saying that he shouldn't help, but if she's a stay-at-home mom, I would
expect her to do the home chores. Now, if they both work outside the home, I
would expect both to help with the home-chores. It's that simple people!!"
Emily wrote on the same page; "My
husband works. I stay home with the kids and I clean. There are some days where
he helps out but mostly I take care of the house. That's my job. (Even though I
don't get paid)." Rose responded, "I think if the woman doesn't work then
yes, there's no reason why she can't do the majority of the housework, but if
both work then they should both do it!"
The last comment is
common among women. If they have to work outside of the home, then their
husbands should help with the housework. The only problem with this sentiment
is that the women are deciding what the husband should do and this isn’t their
place to do it. In practicality, yes, a husband should help around the home if
he is insisting his wife work outside of the home, but it’s still not up to us to tell
him to do this since he is the head over his wife. If you know that your children need you at home full-time but your husband wants you in the workforce, 1 Peter 3:1-6 is God's prescription for you, not demanding your way. However, most women are
working outside of their home today since they are the ones who have chosen to
do this, therefore, they expect their husbands to help them with housework
since working full-time and keeping up the housework is too much for them.
When a woman decides she
wants a career and be away from the home, then expects her husband to help with
the housework, it’s a recipe for disaster. Nowadays, some men are willing to
step in with housework but many are not. Most men have no desire to “keep the
home” like the women do. They would rather "build the home." This creates a power struggle that often will lead to
divorce. Many times it’s the little things that cause divorce, not the big
things.
When I was upset with
Ken about not doing his “fair share,” our marriage was in the tank. A wife can’t
live her life being upset with her husband and wanting to control him. It
doesn’t work. I love what Kimberly wrote on my Always Learning Facebook page; "My
husband has a job. He works eight to ten hours a day, and he supports not only his four kids, but my two, and me. He works hard all day long. As of this moment, I
don't work outside of the house, so my job is to help keep the house clean,
teach and raise children, and do the jobs my husband can't do because he isn't
home. He would love to be home, but how would we survive? So I help him do what
he can't do. At least one
parent/spouse has to work, so the one at home must take up the other half of
the work!"
Even the woman who
cleaned my teeth the other day at my dentist office who works two days a week exclaimed, “I don’t want my husband to help with
the housework! He works so hard every day, fixes things around the home, and
needs some down time. Besides, I do a much better job keeping the home clean
and tidy” and she’s not even a Christian!
Finally, I want to end this post by quoting Nikki, in the
chat room, after I asked why they thought this post went viral. “The world is
inherently selfish, everyone wants to know what someone can do for them, not
vice versa. Telling women to not have expectations and to do whatever they can
to make their husbands lives easier is teaching sacrificial love, which is God's way and leads to true
happiness, but it's sadly very much against human nature. The Christian women
who are offended by this clearly need to dust off and read their Bibles!”
For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12
Dave · 456 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 456 weeks ago
ALM · 456 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 456 weeks ago
Lady Virtue · 456 weeks ago
I too appreciate Lori's plain spoken, straightforward, and Scriptural way of teaching. The world certainly will be offended by the Bible's doctrine about a woman's role and place, but when women who profess to be Christian are, something is seriously wrong. Our love for the Lord's law should be greater than offense.
Lori Alexander 122p · 456 weeks ago
washingwords 13p · 456 weeks ago
Many people misinterpret this scripture thinking that the submission of the man is some kind of abdication of his authority over his wife, or that suddenly all other verses regarding submission of the wife no longer apply. The verse is written: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ“. The submission of the husband is to give up his life to wash her in the word, love her as he loves himself, and care for his wife. Nowhere in scripture are husbands instructed to abdicate their leadership, or decision making authority in marriage. The submission of the husband never includes sharing the position of headship with his wife, contrary to what many would like to believe.
This verse, Ephesians 5:21 should not be used as it is today by “feminist Christians” (which is an oxymoron in and of itself) as a poor excuse to argue that roles aren’t set in stone and that wives don’t really need to submit to their husbands in everything. It is a ridiculous picture to paint and suggest that Paul somehow nullified the roles he pointed out in the remainder of Ephesians 5, with the very sentence preceding them. If we want to do things The Lord’s way, the best way, the way to bring happiness to our marriages, there is no such thing as submitting to one another in marriage equally (with equal authority) and/or with interchangeable roles.
Again thanks for sharing ALM! I'm glad to see when others aren't afraid to point out what you've mentioned in your post. I agree also that the more I submit to my husband the freer I feel. There's just a peace that's always there :)
Dave · 456 weeks ago
But, the REAL ISSUE in understanding Eph 5:21, and all scripture, is that scripture [OT and NT] is foundationally written to men, as the representative of God. God is saying to men in 5:21: ‘think of the other more highly than yourself.’ God is saying to men in 5:25: husbands, ‘do all the things Christ did, in living as one with your wife.’ And God is saying to men in Eph 5:22: ‘instruct wives to surrender to their husbands’ [which for wives IS surrendering to the Lord] which for the husband in so instructing IS living out his 5:25.
Part of the bogusness of the church is that we have disregarded that scripture is written to men. Even Prov 31 and “Children obey …” Those are all written for men to disseminate, administer and enforce. We are not fluent in understanding this. We don’t have this as a base perspective for how the church operates.
God gave the word to Christ, to disseminate, administer, and enforce. And that is the model for men. Consider why Paul said only men speak in church and if women have a question ask their husbands at home. Scripture is written to men. [And men instruct women to fulfill Titus 2] It is no coincidence that as things unravel in this world, getting further from God and the truth, that scripture has left the hands of men.
But not to worry. God is breathing over His men as we speak, and they will rise to their feet and become His great army. And, not as a BTW but as an important part of this: the beautiful spirit of the Lord in all the comments here goes NOTICED. Praise the Lord and may He richly reward you all!
ALM · 456 weeks ago
HappyHomemaker · 456 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 456 weeks ago
Mandi · 456 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 456 weeks ago
ContentWife · 456 weeks ago
Saying a prayer for you as you go through this. Who knows, maybe the Lord will use this situation to reach someone who needed to hear the truth. You're a beautiful woman speaking beautiful truth. Thank you!
washingwords 13p · 456 weeks ago
Teaching the truth is so important. Someone has to stop blurring all of the lines into shades of gray and pretending like all things are acceptable. The truth is black and white. For example, today even gender has become a free-for-all; you can be whichever gender you want and use either restroom (as mandated by law). I'm still trying to figure out how gender isn't black and white. It's like a virus that swept into our "church culture" where everyone is so afraid of speaking the truth. It's everywhere. Even the pope in a recent meeting in Rome instructed Christians to apologize to homosexuals for how the church body has "discriminated" against them. We are supposed to love all people regardless of any sinful behavior but we can't stop teaching the truth! No wonder people are so confused with so many false teachings and this free-for-all, don't speak the truth attitude. Maybe it's a fear of losing financial support, or persecution. In trying to be relative and accepting of all, the body of Christ has become afraid to distinguish black from white, light from darkness, truth from deception.
Never stop speaking the truth. You are doing a most important work Lori!
Kim · 455 weeks ago