Monday, July 25, 2016

His Wife Had a Major Temper Tantrum


Have you ever seen a woman throw a temper tantrum? It is a pitiful sight, yet many women throw temper tantrums as if they are children not getting what they want. Then when they get married, their spouse has to deal with their temper tantrums when things don't go their way. It's a heavy burden a husband has to deal with and I'm afraid many men have to deal with it these days. {Yes, some men have temper tantrums, but I am only teaching women.}

There's a post about a woman with three children who is tired and exhausted. When her husband walks in the door at 8:00 pm after a long day at work, he heads right for the couch and turns on the football game. I am sure he has been waiting all day just to be able to come home, relax, and watch football. However, at the same time, his children are fighting and the baby needs to be put to bed. 

She yells at him, "It wouldn't kill you to help out a bit and get more involved in your children's upbringing."

He responds angrily, "I have spent the whole day working so you can stay at home playing with the doll's house."

They have a heated argument and she finally storms out of the house leaving the children with him for several days.

Then he wrote a letter after a few days of taking care of the children by himself telling her how brave she was for what she was doing at home. He understands her now since he has walked in her shoes. The feminists cheer! The problem with this scenario is that the wife has never walked in her husband's shoes. However for the wife, the children will grow up quickly and life will become easier for her {IF they are well-trained}, then she will have a lot of free time, but he will have to work hard to support his family for many, many years. 

What should have happened in this scenario? Temper tantrums should NEVER happen in an adult's life! These should have been stopped by their parents the first time they had one as a child. The sooner a child learns that temper tantrums are unacceptable and that life doesn't go the way they want it to go, the better life will be for them. 

Our children had one temper tantrum when they were very young but we quickly put a stop to it. They haven't had one since. Unfortunately, many today weren't stopped as children so they continue to have them as adults when things don't go their way. Oh, how I wish they would look in the mirror at themselves while having one to see how ugly they look.

 This woman shouldn't have taken her exhaustion out on her husband, even if she had a rough day and was in a bad mood. The way she posed the question to him was disrespectful and was a way to manipulate him. If there is one thing men hate, it is to be disrespected. No, his answer wasn't good either but she provoked him with the question. Most men will react to a wife's tirade towards them by fighting or fleeing. 

If you want your husband to help you with something, always ask in a respectful way. However, do everything in your power to get your children in bed and/or calmed down before your husband gets home. He needs time to unwind and relax when he first gets home. Most men would say this is an important part of the day for them. If you need help, respectfully ask your husband if he would help with the children during the commercials but if he doesn't want to help, keep your emotions under control, don't have a temper tantrum, and certainly don't walk out on him!

Kimberly Wagner wrote, "One thing I can't stress to wives enough—hug your man when he comes in from work! Greet him with a kiss and some love. Give him an encouraging word, and hold off on letting him know what a tough time you've had. He has had a long day. (You might have faced a challenging day yourself, but you show genuine love and care for your man when you take interest in him and his day above your own.) He's been hit with challenges that you haven't faced, and perhaps he fought battles you'll never know about. Be what makes it all worth coming home to."

This woman who gave her husband a "piece of her mind" shouldn't be cheered. Cheering for a woman behaving badly is becoming normal for our culture. In fact, cheering for anything ugly is normal today; for what is right is wrong and what is wrong is right. I doubt few readers of this post saw the error of her ways and most only saw the error of his, since it is politically correct to mock men.

 Treat your husband with respect. If you mess up, ask for his forgiveness quickly. For men, respect is more important than anything else even when you have had a bad day. Control your emotions and reactions instead of allowing them to control you. 

The wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:33

Comments (34)

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HappyHomemaker · 452 weeks ago

Great post today Lori! I was one of those that had temper tantrums, however, I would always do it in private, but one day I had one with my husband and guess what? He handled it and told me to leave. Boy, that was an eye opener and one that was greatly needed. I am thankful he put me in my place and let me know that he wasn't going to put up with it. This was many years ago and before I understood or even wanted to understand my role as his helpmeet. I am thankful that God took care of our marriage even before I knew how wrong I was.
1 reply · active 452 weeks ago
I agree 100%! There were moments years ago that my husband walked in the door and I had 1 crying, 1 poopy, and dinner boiling over-yikes! Many bad days like that and then he would still want sex that night-what nerve:). Somehow those years slipped by and now I only have 1 child really at home. I have time for myself and my poor husband still works incredible hours in all sorts of weather:(. His brother never understood why my husband wanted me at home but if he could have ever seen my husband walk in the door and our family welcome Dad home, he would understand... We ❤️ Dad!
1 reply · active 452 weeks ago
Your quote from Kimberly Wagner is a very, very important one!! I cannot say that enough, and yes, I know that many women find it difficult to greet their husband congenially when they have little children hanging all over and around them, and it's been a very rough day! I've been there, done that! However, I know from experience that Kim's advice needs to be practiced; it's a very important selfless act that produces a much sweeter start to the evening (and supper). In fact, don't even ask, "How was your day?" because he's just not ready to talk about that right then (not generally). His head is full! and he's (hopefully) been waiting to come home to the loves of his life!

We had our first two children in one year and life was very busy on the farm for this young mother but I so well remember the day my husband came home from work, and I had (yet again) given him a run-down of my hectic day. I didn't do this to make him feel guilty or even ask for this help; I just wanted him to understand how busy I was and that I just couldn't seem to keep up with everything (I was a perfectionist in those days). After hearing me out on this particular day he kindly (and somewhat exasperatedly, though) told me that he really did try to understand my dilemma and didn't mind hearing about my day but if I could kindly first give him about 15-20 minutes each day to de-escalate from his work I would be helping him out a lot. He quickly explained that this did not mean that he wanted to ignore me and the children. No, he liked to come in, be greeted with smiles and hugs, pick up the kids and laugh with them...just simply be in a totally different world than work! One that brought joy to him! And then, when he felt re-energized and confirmed that this is what he worked hard for each day (and was totally worth it!) he was ready to listen. And guess what? After I learned to greet him this way each day I didn't even need to dump on him anymore!! It was a win/win for both of us! Anything that I felt needed "dumping" wasn't thought of that way anymore, either; I simply shared parts of the day as needed when I felt he was ready for it. Living FOR each other in a selfless way really is the answer to a happier marriage - the rewards come much faster!
2 replies · active 452 weeks ago
I unfortunately am one of those temper tantrum people. I never threw temper tantrums as a child or even a teenager, so I am not sure why it has hit me as an adult/wife. I have had the most difficult time understanding how I am supposed to be all the things of a stay at home mom while having to work a full time job and attend school full time. I want to have a happy and long lasting marriage. My husband works shift work, so he is off a lot during the week, so I feel like when I get home from work and he has been off that he should have gotten some things done around the house. I am all about respecting my husband and I know I have not been respectful to him from my actions and I started back to work today from a long vacation and told myself today is a fresh start for our relationship and I am going to focus on my and my marriage. I am trying to build my relationship with God above all else. If any of you have any advice on how to get over the anger of having to do things after working all day and him being off or how I can have a better outlook on the situation, i would really like to make this change to a better understanding and respectful wife.
2 replies · active 452 weeks ago
Do you have any advice for a wife on how to respectfully respond when a husband is having a meltdown? I want to never disrespect - especially in front of the children, or even just one on one - but often he asks seemingly rhetorical questions, and expects an answer, right in the middle of his yelling rants, and any way I can think to answer such questions will not quell the situation, so I stay silent trying to let it pass. I know a soft answer is the best thing, I just really don't know what to say softly because the things that set him off seem so miniscule - like an apple with a bruise being a waste of money or expecting the children to eat cereal instead of muffin for breakfast, even though he never vocalized that wish prior? How does one respectfully speak of the situation later with the children also, and help them love their daddy just as he is?
10 replies · active 451 weeks ago
Oh my...I can totally relate to this! Back when we had two children I was always in a bad mood and the house was a mess when my husband walked in the door from work. It was my way of showing him how hard it was to be a full-time wife and mom. When I told him my desire to have a third child, he said he figured I already had too much on my plate because I always seemed stressed and the house was usually a mess by the time he came home from work. No wonder he didn't want a third child! My attitude was horrible! Now I try to always smile and at least have the kitchen cleaned up when he comes home. And I always have dinner started. Now we have our third child (praise God!) And on the nights when I'm just really overwhelmed, he graciously encourages me to take a break. It's not that I can't be open and honest with him when I've had a bad day; it's just that I do so respectfully, keeping in mind what a blessing it is to be a mother and have a husband who works hard to provide for us.
1 reply · active 452 weeks ago
I am most definitely and assuredly not the best homemaker. But I am a SAHM who homeschools. There are times when my children aren't in the best of moods and it makes our day more difficult or something else goes awry but overall, I have a good life! The Lord blessed me with a two healthy children and a good husband. I really do not understand why so often I hear about situations such as these where on a regular basis the wife is at her wits end by the time her husband returns. Perhaps if I had more children or they were even closer together in age I would understand more but I just don't. We live in a rich country with lots of food, relative security, freedom to worship our Lord and God, nice homes, modern conveniences, etc., etc., etc. And to be blessed with children...! I know so many women who have struggled with infertility. Children are such a blessing. Perhaps these women are loosing sight of these things.
1 reply · active 452 weeks ago
The more i hear about the bad behaviour of women, the more repulsed i am by it. I avoid most women at church and just talk to the kids or men (with my husband present). Because the women are so shallow. My husband wouldnt allow that behaviour in our home. Im about to have our 9th child. And so i know what tired is! But i dont rant and rave when my husband comes home and puts his feet up. Because the children tend to flock to him and he keeps them busy. It is also a sign that its almost dinnertime. And soon after dinner, i can rest too! I look forward to that time of day. Temper tantrums achieve nothing. They just make you look stupid.
3 replies · active 452 weeks ago
The thing is, i noticed how late it was at night. And that the kids were still up. If she was keeping them up to see daddy when he got home fair enough. But if moods are changing and the reason is they are tired. Then stop what you are doing and put them to bed. Housework can wait. I would of put the kids to bed or settled them down with a good book etc. And kept them close to monitor them. She had her priorities wrong. While housework is important. It is more important to nip grumpiness or fighting in the bud. The decreased noise level and appearance of calm can do so much for this scenario. It wouldnt hurt for hubby to miss out on seeing the kids for one night. Or going in and saying goodnight to them. But by allowing the kids to run amok and ignoring it, she is creating a perfect storm for herself.
If my hubby came home and the kids are misbehaving and the house is trashed. He reminds me its my fault. Because it happened under my watch. And i let it go. Which inturn gives the kids the idea that that kind of behaviour is ok. And it is my God given duty to retain control of that while he is at work. Its not like he can run home to punish the kids for every indescretion. He is carrying out his duty. Other than throwing a tantrum and walking out. I can see some of myself in this. But what gets me is she left the house for SEVERAL DAYS!! not just an hour or two, but several days!!??!! Thats just nuts!
2 replies · active 452 weeks ago

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