Standing Behind an Imperfect Man

Excerpt from an article by Laura Lloyd

Someone has well said, “Meekness is not weakness.” Again, the feminists react to the challenge to be meek in the sight of our husbands, but they do not understand how God works. It is hidden from their eyes—and maybe from some of our eyes as well. Like the quiet spirit, meekness is an attitude with many varied qualities flowing out of it. These qualities have a powerful encouraging effect upon our husbands. Let us cultivate these qualities and reap the benefits.

☞Be Humble

In a conflict, don’t let the sun go down without earnestly seeking God to know if you may have had any wrong attitudes for which you can be the first to go to him for forgiveness. I had the blessing of having a mother who understood the value of submitting to her husband. She left her home state with its family and friends and moved her young family to Texas when her husband thought it was best for his health. Then a few months later, when it was obvious they couldn’t stay, they moved again. A similar move and return were made to Alaska. I knew that she submitted in many smaller ways also as she supported him through many job changes and trips. Therefore I was impressed when she confessed to me in later years that she was convicted of keeping Dad in a box of failure by her words to and about him. 

She experienced a change of attitude toward her husband and the submission went beyond obedience to honor. The condemning attitudes and critical words were seen as enemies to keep her husband from changing. She chose to humbly see in her own self the same root sins of pride and selfishness, which had resulted in some actions from her husband that she disliked and condemned. Thereby she received grace to love him and honor him more deeply than ever before. I watched as their last years of life together were spent in sweet harmony. We need to see as rebellion those undercurrent actions of grumbling, sulking, rolling the eyes, arguing, complaining, and sighing.

☞Be Meek
Lay down your rights to have things your way. Leave the way your parents have done things and be open to follow your husband. This yieldedness is a tremendous motivation to a man to lead. And that is what we want, right? 

☞Be Content
Don’t compare with what other people have or do. Don’t look at what you could have IF... 

☞Be Grateful
I was astonished to hear from my husband that he felt that I was whining one day. How we hate that in others. How tired and defeated we become when we forget to count our blessings. How can we stand behind our man if we greet him with our complaints of not having enough _____? It shows that we are not trusting God, but instead running to our leader and murmuring as the Israelites did. 

☞Be Sincere
There is no room for sarcastic cutting remarks or foolish joking in the mouth of a godly woman. Much damage has been done to marriages and homes in the name of teasing. 

☞Be Available and Attentive
A good listener asks questions to understand why a person has made his choice. You don’t like his decision? Seek to understand what he knows and sees; you may see things differently. 

☞Be Honest
Carefully communicate why you feel objections to his decisions. The words “Have you considered…?” given in an open way without demand are very helpful to a man. A woman can stand behind her man with godly influence, if she does it in the right spirit. 

☞Be Discerning
Is this the right time to share about this need, or this broken _____? Is this the right time to communicate my disagreement? What is he trying to communicate behind his poorly chosen words? 

☞Be Forgiving
Remember how much Christ has forgiven you. If this doesn’t seem like much, ask God to show you. All of these fall under the category of meekness. Remember, this is of great price in the sight of God, and also your husband. 

What if I Don't Stand Behind My Man
Yes, there are always consequences if we choose to go our own way and depart from God’s ways.

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: 

but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands” {Proverbs 14:1}.

“The foolishness of man perverteth his way: 

and his heart fretteth against the Lord” {Proverbs 19:3}.

In the name of defending their rights, many women resent and reject the beautiful plan and place God has for them. They ruin their own source of protection and provision and destroy their families. It is often too late when they finally wake up and realize what they are doing. These contentious women are likened to continual dripping on a rainy day. {Proverbs 27:15}

May each one of us find that joyous haven of rest under the loving protection, guidance, and provision of our husbands. Aim for a meek spirit where each right is entrusted to God. Run after a peaceful and quiet spirit that is undisturbed and undisturbing. STAND BEHIND YOUR MAN.

 The Heartbeat of the Remnant

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