As you know, my post that went viral was about housework. For some reason, housework causes a lot of consternation with women today. Yesterday, I asked the women in my chat room if their grandmothers expected their husbands to help with housework. They all said, "Never!" My mother and Ken's mother never expected or asked their husbands to help with housework and their husbands never did. Back then, everyone knew their role in the family structure. The men would work hard to provide for their families and the women would bear children and keep the home.
I have a few friends today who are great housekeepers with servant's hearts. They keep their house spotless without being anxious or uptight about it. They never expect their husbands to help with housework. They are both very submissive to and supportive of their husbands. What has caused this expectation by many wives today that their husbands should help with housework? Feminism and sin: the need to blend the roles of the sexes and control. When women left their homes for careers, they expected their husbands who worked full time to help with housework. However, many of the women who are home full time have breathed the feminist air their entire lives and expect their husbands who work hard to help with housework as well.
The thing about housework is it really is not that difficult. I can unload a dishwasher in five minutes. Fold a load of laundry in ten minutes. If you timed yourself on how long it takes, you would see it doesn't take that much time. If you do a little bit every day while trying to keep the kitchen clean after every meal, you will have a clean and tidy home. Then, when your husband comes home, he can simply enjoy you, the children, and a clean, relaxing home. As your children grow older, train them how to keep the home clean. and pick up after themselves. I know this one mother with nine children and after she had her fifth baby on, she didn't have to do any housework since she had trained her older children to do it. She was able to spend all of her time with the babies, young children, and homeschooling. They tend the garden together.
Husbands who work hard all day shouldn't have to come home and do housework. If my dad and Ken's dad never did it but our mothers were able to do it, you can do it. The sooner you teach your older children to help, the better. If you are home full-time, there is plenty of time during the day to do housework, unless you are gone a lot during the day which I discourage you from doing. Your priorities should be to take good care of your children and your home. If after taking care of these you have left over time, then do as you please but don't neglect being a "keeper at home" as the Lord commands.
Even in the Bible, it was the women who served Jesus and took care of His needs while He went about healing the sick, casting out demons, teaching, and being crucified for our sins. Godly women should be known for serving their families by taking care of their daily needs and men should be known for working hard to provide for their families. Both jobs take a lot of time and energy but this is the structure the Lord has set up for the family to run smoothly. Now, if the mother is sick or just given birth, I am sure most husbands will chip in. My Mom came and lived with me for two weeks after every baby which was great since Ken still had to work hard providing.
The reason I am spending time on this topic is because it caused so much angst between Ken and me during the first years of marriage. I was wrong. I had plenty of time to do housework. I have seen women who have servant's hearts who are usually one step ahead of serving their husband's needs and taking good care of them; getting them a drink, giving them a back rub, and simply pampering them by making sure their needs are met. It is a beautiful thing to watch. May we all learn to have servant hearts when it comes to our husbands and take good care of them in the home, as the Lord has called us to do, instead of expecting them to help us after they have worked hard to provide so we can stay home and raise the children we have been blessed with.
Don't let feminism define how you live your life but live your life by the example your grandmother set for you, if you were blessed to have one. Biblical roles were followed back then when our country was a moral one. Marriages were stronger since they each knew their role. Life always runs smoother when people know their role. Life today in America is not running smoothly. Follow the ancient paths since they are the good paths. Sure there will be difficult and hard times but do what Elisabeth Elliot said to do during these times, "Do the next thing." Life will never be easy but we can continue to stay joyful knowing that the Lord is in control and His strength works mightily within us!
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily,
as to the Lord, and not unto men.
Colossians 3:23
