Thursday, July 7, 2016

Deleting and Moderating Comments


Almost since the day I began writing for my blog over five years ago, I have been receiving comments from many who have a great dislike for what I write and how I "say" things. I eventually had to begin moderating all of my comments since trying to debate these people never seemed to be productive or beneficial. One day, a close friend of mine said she stopped reading my blog since she couldn't stand the mean comments I was getting. She said it took away from the message I was trying to teach. Others have told me they dislike the combative and argumentative comments as well. They serve no good purpose. Satan's purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy. My purpose is encourage women in the ways of the Lord because His Words and ways are life.

My blog is a teaching blog, not a debating blog like many of them out there are today. I am teaching Titus 2:4, 5 to any women who would like to learn from me. I hold my convictions firmly and I want them to be biblical. If this is not your cup of tea, no one is forcing you to read my written words. I know I am not perfect and have areas I continue to grow in, but I am not going to publish comments that are continually disagreeable to what I teach. If you have a question, I will be happy to publish it but if you have a comment that is completely opposed to what I have written, I will not publish it. Some accuse me of being "judgmental" when they are judging me all the time. I don't take it personally, however, since I only have one Judge whom I am trying to please and He will have the final say. You shouldn't feel "judged" by anyone, if you know that you are living your life in obedience to the Lord!

On my Facebook Always Learning page, I hide negative and mean-spirited comments and depending upon how mean they are, some will be banned from commenting on my page since these are a distraction as well. If you have something you feel the need to tell me, email me. It's interesting that most refuse to email me but want to be critical of me through the comments on my blog and Facebook page. I have sisters, parents, a husband, children, and close friends who have helped refine who I am today. Ken and I hold each other accountable with any area of sin in our lives. We know we will be held to a higher standard since we are teachers of many. Therefore, we take what we do very seriously. 

 It's unfortunate that women who are in the same position of life that I am are fearful of teaching what I teach because they see the backlash that I receive. This is to be expected, especially in the climate that our country is in right now. If any of you older women want to teach younger women but don't want the backlash, pray about it and seek out some younger women in your church to mentor. One-on-one mentoring is how I began and teaching small groups of women. It's a great way to be sharpened in what you teach and how you live your life as a wife and mother. Trying to begin a blog right off the bat doesn't give you the practical hands-on experience that is needed. Young women need to see your expressions and true desire to help them. Besides, the young women will teach you many things by the continual questions they will ask of you. I loved it!

I am not mean, contrary to some people's opinions of me. I will never call people names, swear at them, or intentionally try to hurt someone. I do call out sin and those who are trying to lead women astray since I hate sin and I want women to walk in obedience to the Lord. If you meet me in person, you would see that I am not a mean person. However, I love teachers and preachers who give it to me straight so I am this kind of teacher. I don't try to sugar coat the clear Word of God. There are others who are sweet-natured and I enjoy reading their blogs, but I like the ones who don't mince words but speak the Truth clearly and boldly. You may not like my style but this is okay. Find blogs that fit your style. God made us all different with different likes. He is a creative God and this makes the world colorful! I love challenging women since I love to be challenged. 

Thank you to all of you who have supported me over the years. I appreciate it! Your encouragement is what keeps me going and I am thankful to the Lord for giving me this ministry. I take it seriously and only want to please Him.

Finally, for those of you who want to "put me in my place" and help me to be able to reach the women of this century, no thank you. I will continue to teach those who want to put themselves on the ancient path that the Lord has laid out for them. It's not my path that I am teaching; it is the Lord's. I will only have to answer to Him what I have taught.

For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? 
for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10

Comments (63)

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Melissa M.'s avatar

Melissa M. · 455 weeks ago

Lori, thank you for teaching the hard stuff!
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
HappyHomemaker's avatar

HappyHomemaker · 455 weeks ago

I read many of the comments on FB and they were some of the most mean spirited comments I have ever seen. I am glad you decided to ban the ones that were the worst. Most of those people commenting did not want to discuss or even hear your point of view, they only wanted to bash and accuse and point fingers at your "cult". It was not enough that they stated their opinion, they had to "stop you from spreading this garbage to the younger women". I could tell how angry they were and you just want to say, do you really think your way is better? If so, why are you so angry?

Thanks again Lori and Ken for all the great work you do!
2 replies · active 455 weeks ago
Kathy Elford 's avatar

Kathy Elford · 455 weeks ago

Lori, I greatly appreciated you and your work. You are in my prayers; I'm sure you feel the blessing of such a supportive husband and family! May God's blessings continue with you!
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
I am grateful for your voice in a culture that hates the light. Not many Christians have the courage to teach the harder, dying-to-yourself parts of God's truth <3 thank you for being bold and not fearing anything that is frightening! :) xoxo Mandy
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
Bravo. As an op-ed writer for many years, I'm no stranger to controversial topics and hate-filled mail. But when it comes to my blog and my FB page, nobody has freedom of speech except me. If you want to spew your meanness and hate, spew it on your own stuff. .
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
You've made the right decision. I encourage not to read the mean and negative comments all the way through when you see it's going in that direction. Delete immediately and do not respond since they don't listen anyway. It's not worth your time, energy or the stress it brings. It could possibly affect your health. Thank you so much for continuing in your ministry. I look to you as a mentor, and you have helped me to be a better wife and mother.
2 replies · active 455 weeks ago
KingdomMinded Mamma's avatar

KingdomMinded Mamma · 455 weeks ago

This is my first post ever on a blog. I want to say how grateful I am for your blog.

“In order to understand what the biblical position is on any subject, one has to do it from a Hebrew perspective.”
-Dr. Roy B. Blizzard, President at Bible Scholars

Public discussion of the Bible tends to become the province of people who are limited to reading English translations, with no understanding of the ancient world, and the myriad complications involved in understanding what any of the ancient biblical material meant in its own contexts.” –Dr. Kalinda Rose Stevenson
2 replies · active 455 weeks ago
ContentWife's avatar

ContentWife · 455 weeks ago

Dear Mrs. Lori,

You are very much loved and appreciated by many. Keep up the good work and don't "grow weary while doing good, for in due season [you] shall reap if [you] do not lose heart." {Gal. 6:9}
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
Lori,I have been a believer since I was 18. I also have two Master's degrees (Columbia University and University of Notre Dame). I do not state this to brag,but to emphasize that I have both been a student and a teacher. I never had a teacher or professor who discouraged questions or challenges. We all grow from open discussion. Without it "cognitive dissonance" as well as "confirmation bias" will interfere with authentic learning. I am 60 years old and stayed home to raise my son untl he left for college. I have been married to the same man 33 years. And,like you,I suffer from chronic pain (IC). Our lives are not that different.
3 replies · active 454 weeks ago
I am glad you don't post the mean and argumentative comments. I come here to be encouraged by like minded people, not have to worry about reading comments from people who have no interest in learning. There is a big difference between someone who is honestly asking and is open to learn even if they respectfully disagree, and people who just want to tell you how brainwashed you are.
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
People are far more "brave" to argue when they can do it from behind a computer screen. Truly many of their comments are cowardly as they strike you through the Internet. Most people wouldn't have the guts to say such things in person. It made me very anxious when I first visited your Facebook page in the same week that all the craziness set in, before you started responding on your blog to it. I was deeply disturbed to know just how many people hate the way I live and the things I believe. There was no class, respect, or desire to understand. Those who believed you are under some kind of abuse were somehow the very worst; heaping abuse on you, name calling, doing everything but offering help! They found strength in numbers and egged each other on to slander and attempt to close down your page. Christians wrote elaborate prayers for you that resembled gossip style prayer circles. Really gave us all a taste of what you've been dealing with for years. I was so relieved to have a safe place here to communicate with others who want to learn peacefully.
3 replies · active 455 weeks ago
I just wanted to encourage you to continue writing truth and that I also understand why you won't post the nasty comments. I never read the comments for that reason and since I don't do Facebook, I never see those. No one is forced to read your blog so please continue for those of us that are challenged and blessed by it.
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
Just wanted to thank you so much for your blog. I am so encouraged by it. My husband had taken a job three years ago and we had to move from our families and church family. Where we moved to we thought we found a great church to attend. But, unfortunately they had women teaching men and taking on the roles of men. So we stopped going there. We searched for three years to find a church family. Praise God we finally did. We have to travel 50 minutes to get to church but it is worth it all to be feed. Thank you again!
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
Dear Ken and Lori-- thank you for your blog. I, for one, need straight shooting !! We do not have a church at this time. I do not have any Titus 2 women in my life, though I have prayed for them. I believe your blog is one resource and an answer to my prayers in part. It is a blessing.
God bless you and your family.
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
Lori,

I think that you need to teach how you feel led by our Father to teach. If folks take straight talk as being mean, that is on them, not you. No one should ever water down their beliefs to please someone else.

Have a blessed day.
Your sis in Christ,
Suz
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
Ken and you and both doing great, Lori. I followed his comments on Dalrock's blog, defending his and your ministry and it really really saddened me. I think when blogs aren't moderated, when insults and cuss words are allowed to fly, it pollutes the whole atmosphere and Christ is no longer glorified.

I'm so glad you set an example for younger women to not be involved in debating - to not let your blog become focused on that. People will always want to criticize or debate (and there are places for them to do that), but it's very wonderful to see how you personally deal with that yourself. Its a "No nonsense" approach, and I love it!
2 replies · active 455 weeks ago
TheJoyFilledWife's avatar

TheJoyFilledWife · 455 weeks ago

"Finally, for those of you who want to "put me in my place" and help me to be able to reach the women of this century, no thank you. I will continue to teach those who want to put themselves on the ancient path that the Lord has laid out for them. It's not my path that I am teaching; it is the Lord's."

That was such a powerful statement, Lori. Thanks for being such a faithful follower of Christ and friend.
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
Dear Sister in Christ... you are a breath of fresh air and truth now days is a matter of one's opinion. But God's truth never changes. You are in the place God has called you. I am so sorry for the hurtful comments from those that do not know the lie of feminist. I took comments off my blog last week. I love the freedom, my blog was never intended to be an open forum. I love what you have taught myself and others that want the hard truth!
Always, Roxy
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
Perhaps you could consider doing away with a comment section altogether, as many Christian bloggers are now doing. The comment section seems to invite discussion and challenges, (which inevitably brings about conflict and negativity) and not having one would definitely focus and spotlight that your purpose is a teaching blog. It must take a lot of time to moderate and respond to every comment. Tim Challies recently removed his comment section and invites "Letters to the Editor" instead. Every week, he highlights and responds to 1 or 2 of them.
2 replies · active 452 weeks ago
I wish there was a "like" button for posts here. You keep on keeping on.

Thanks :)
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
As you know, we haven't always seen perfectly the same and that's ok but both of us man or woman husband or wife should have the same goal. To love and honour our God through our words and actions. For anyone who reads this comment, let me say I have known Ken and Lori for over a year and have had many conversations with Ken and he has helped me grow tremendously in Christ

Lori, you speak truth and I know you are doing everything you can for my marriage and I love you so much for that and you have invested your life now to helping others who want your guidance and mentorship.

Thank you for everything and all the encouragement you give to us

Ken is a great man and Lori you are what we all need :)

The world doesn't seem to want truth. They want to justify and change the word so it's works for them.

There is no need to explain yourself today but for those who want to bash they can go ahead. We all will be judged one day very soon
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
Lori ~ Thank you for the truth, I enjoy your blog and the encouragement I receive from it.... No sugar coating makes it much easier to grasp... Truth hurts and some women feel guilty hearing it. Keep teaching it.
Thank you!
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
Lady Virtue's avatar

Lady Virtue · 455 weeks ago

Lori, continue to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. This blog has been a great blessing to me. I hope you'll continue to allowing commenting, but let the Lord lead you, of course. Either way, I will continue to read here as long as God allows me. I'm one of those who needs it given to me straight; that's the kind of preaching I listen to, as well.

God bless and take care.
2 replies · active 455 weeks ago
I just wanted to share another perspective on women teaching women. I have often contemplated the term "older women" and whether it's indicative of the age of the flesh or our spiritual age (maturity). It's a point I wanted to share because I have often wondered where I stand in teaching women to follow Titus 2:4-5 because I am a younger woman.

Let me address that my focus will always be on my husband and children, but it is in our downtime (while he's studying for example and I have free time) that I really enjoy reinforcing the truths outlined in Titus. I definitely keep my priorities in line, but instead of reading a magazine or watching tv, I prefer to interact with other women to encourage them in truth.

Experience brings wisdom that is very useful for teaching. However, I think the bible has an answer to every question we could think of, regardless of if we've experiencing it personally. I think if one is mature in the Lord and walking in truth that is enough of a prerequisite to encourage and teach others to follow the truth.

I also want to agree that small groups are very helpful in learning how to interact with women in sharing the truth. I was a part of women's shelter and club ministries, and small groups prior to meeting my husband. Now that we are married, we have a couple of small groups we meet with weekly where my husband does the teaching (because men and women are involved), and we have seen some wonderful fruit thus far. I believe these experiences help to know how to regulate teaching sessions, and generally how the ebb and flow of discipling others goes.

In conclusion, I want to encourage women that age doesn't have to be a deterrent. Just as I see older women who walk in truth, I also see many more older women who live in darkness (for lack of a better word) who would benefit from hearing encouraging testimonies. I believe that if you walk in truth, and you live out the principles outlined in Titus 2:4-5, then it is most beneficial to encourage other women to do the same, even if you aren't what most would consider "older".
1 reply · active 455 weeks ago
Lori
I thank God for you and your blog every day!. You are a great source of learning and encouragement to me!.

If people don't agree with what is written, subscribe to a blog that is more suited to your 'views'.
Blessings
Helen UK

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