Tuesday, August 23, 2016

What are You Modeling for Your Children?


Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 4:12, “Be an example…in speech, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” Children are taught more by your example than your words. You can speak to them about the Word consistently but if you are not practicing what you teach, it won’t have an impact. You will have a greater influence upon your children’s lives than anyone or anything else. Take this seriously. You are molding eternal beings and your conduct will affect them until they die.

What is your speech like in front of your children? I hear mothers that call themselves “Christians” swear at their children and have no problem with using foul language. Their speech is not seasoned with salt but with rottenness. This should never be mothers! Your words should always be filled with kindness, encouragement, and never critical or demeaning others. Life and death are in the power of the tongue; to lift up or to tear down. Use your tongue to lift up the name of Jesus and build your children up.

What about the way you live? Are you careful to use your time wisely or do you spend it in frivolous pursuits? We should be known for good works; helping those around us in need and especially our families. Our times are short on this earth, therefore, we must use our time wisely and not fritter it away on the non-essentials.

Do you love others deeply? If you struggle with this, memorize 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 for this is the definition of love. If you aren’t being patient and kind towards your children, you are not truly loving them as the Lord has told you to love others. Yes, there will be difficult and hard times, but remember you are to believe the best, even of your children. Smother them with affection and kindness. It is the best gift you can give them.

What about faith? Do your children know you love the Lord deeply? If you asked them this question, how would they answer? Without faith, it is impossible to please the Lord or to raise godly children. Let your faith in the Risen Lord affect everything you do. Make sure church is a priority, regular times of prayer, and reading the Bible with them.

How about your purity? Are you careful what you read, watch, and listen to? If you tell your children they can only watch “proper” shows but you watch impure shows after they are you in bed, your hypocrisy will find you out. We must practice what we preach or it will all fall on deaf ears. Clean out your homes of any impurity. Teach your children about purity early and often. Pray they will yearn to be modest in the way they dress and pure with those of the opposite sex. Do everything in your power to keep them from impurity: Internet, TV shows, movies, and iPhones.

Finally, model integrity, honesty, kindness, and goodness to your children at all times, especially in the way you treat their father. Your respect and love towards him will have a greater influence on them than anything else you will do. Yes, all this may see overwhelming to you but remember, with God all things are possible.

Comments (11)

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Good artile, one correction though. Iphone is not the only phone on the market. Blackberry, droids etc are the phones. What you should say is smart phones.
My husband isn't as strict about watching certain shows as I am. Sometimes our son will ask his dad if he can watch a certain show that I would find to be not such a great choice, and he says it is o.k. What do you think about that, Lori?
3 replies · active 448 weeks ago
I know Lori would say that she does not like any kids watching things they should not, but that Dad has to be won over to your views on the matter in a godly way, or you have to let your child watch what he permits it. Wait until your child sees something quite unchristian before asking him to reconsider his position on the matter.

Alternatively, ask him if he will police what your children are viewing, and if and when it starts to cross the line, send them out of the room.

The issue of marriage and family has many layers, and a husband, right or wrong about these grayer areas must be allowed to choose for the sake of an overall Biblical marriage. If not a wife's perceptions will always rule. Keep up healthy and joyful discussions with your husband and pray that the Lord will do the convicting in these areas.
Thank you, Ken. That helps tremendously :-)
HappyHomemaker's avatar

HappyHomemaker · 448 weeks ago

Hi Anonymous, this is something I struggled with as well, but you have to trust that God's ways are best and he tells us to obey our husband. I just had to trust in God to convict him if it was too much. When I read Created to be His Helpmeet (if you haven't read it, it's a great book), she said that we are not to play "holy spirit" to our husband and that chapter really hit home with me. You see, I thought I was right, after all it was me that thought he shouldn't be allowed to watch certain things, but in reality I was wrong and disobeying God by having a rebellious and "holier than thou" attitude. I am called to honor and reverence my husband and I wasn't doing either.
Great post, Lori! I agree, it is so important to model the behavior and attitudes that you want to see in your children, and it all starts with our own walk with the Lord.
Hello Lori, I agree that parents should be role models. However, I don´t believe that mothers should never talk "critical" about anything. For me, it`s important that my children develop a critical attitude, that they are not afraid of discussing and questioning things. When children (especially girls) are only taught to talk "sweet" and accept everything and "obey" and "follow", how should they become capable citizens?
2 replies · active 448 weeks ago
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29
Beth
Maybe you need to talk more about developing a DISCERNING attitude in your children than a CRITICAL attitude. Discernment means your children examine what they are being told and learning to reject anything that is ungodly and unwholesome. Maybe that is more what you should be planning to teach your children??
Blessings to you
Helen UK
Trish Clark's avatar

Trish Clark · 448 weeks ago

Dear Lori,
Again I thank you for an excellent message. I have my minister son, his wife and two young daughters (8 & 12) here in my home since my husband passed away. They are 'taking care' of me (smile)...anyway I am determined to be a good example for all of them. It's become a challenge to always be aware of my words, work, and even my attitude. Children are very aware of intent and hypocrisy. I am grateful for the encouragement from your blog. Thank you.
I know we are not to take the name of the Lord in vain. Aside from that commandment is cursing/using swear words a true sin? It is something I struggle with and don't know how to pray about. I am sickened by myself when 'gross' words pass my lips. Have you any counsel or guidance for me on this issue? Thanks!

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