Friday, August 26, 2016

Critical Care Surgeon to Full Time Mother


Kathryn Butler was a trauma and critical care surgeon. She saved lives and worked long days. In today’s world, this is way more acclaimed and rewarded than any mother at home ever could be. After all, a mother at home is only raising children and that has low priority on the totem pole in today’s fast driven culture. Feminists cheer for Kathryn and society rejoices that yet another woman has broken the glass ceiling and can have it all. Yahoo! However, she had a baby who almost died and immediately understood the depth of love a mother has for her child; he tore the floodgates to my heart wide open.”

She continued to work long hours since this is what mothers do today. She had another baby not long afterwards, returned to working long, grueling hours but soon realized that after missing her children’s first smile, step, and word, she knew it was time to resign and go home for good when she understood that she was the one needed to be home with her children, not her husband. The harried days, the teaching, and the hours in the operating room, once so important, paled in comparison with my call to shepherd the children with whom God entrusted me. When my daughter, not yet nine months old, burst into tears as I lifted my backpack to leave for an out-of-state conference, the Lord drove the point home.”

She wrote, “Cradled in sin, we are born with a proclivity to pursue things that glorify ourselves, rather than those that glorify God.” It would be difficult to use mothering as a way to glorify ourselves since it has no awards, praise, recognitions or achievements from the world. Many today make it appear like it is the worst thing in the world for a woman to choose to do. This is why we must have the mindset when being a mother that we are giving up our sleep, sacrificing our bodies, time and talents for precious human beings. We are doing it to glorify God, since He is the One who asks us to have children, be keepers at home and be content while doing them. Don’t worry about having a name for yourself or making money to prove you are of value, mother. Contrary to what culture tells us, “You are not wasting your life being a mother!” Nothing that God calls women to do is a waste of a life, but you must take the feminist mindset that you have probably been raised with and exchange it for the Lord’s mindset and what He values. He values humility and humble service, not looking for worldly praise.

“Oh, but don’t you need a career to fall back on when your children are all grown?” Many have asked me this question whenever I write about women being wives, mothers, and keepers at home. Kathryn’s response to this was outstanding, “The premise rests on an understanding of personal satisfaction as the chief aim in life. For such well-meaning friends, hope depends on identity through accomplishment.” When children are grown up and gone, women today are pressured to go and finally “do something for you!” If you don’t need the money, how about doing something for the Lord, like teaching younger women, as the Lord asks us to do? Younger women are in desperate need for older women to come alongside them and help them in the ways of being a wife and mother. Do you know what a huge impact this would have on the Church and for the cause of Christ?

Young mother, never feel badly for being home with your children, not earning any money, and not having the world’s approval. You have the Lord’s approval and His is all that matters. You are storing your treasures in heaven.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

Comments (18)

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This is what struck me most: “Cradled in sin, we are born with a proclivity to pursue things that glorify ourselves, rather than those that glorify God.”
I think of Mary, the Lord's servant, who cooperated with God to mother His Son Jesus. While the worldly response to her was disdain, she is highly favored by God.
Thank you Lori for this blessing this morning.
Off to cook breakfast for our children... smile.
1 reply · active 447 weeks ago
You are doing a good work, Rachel! Keep it up!
What a wonderful post, Lori! I wish your blog was around when my children were younger. I stayed home with them but never had the support and encouragement from godly people like you or Kathryn to help me remember I was doing the right thing. All the women around me worked full-time so I didn't know a lot of stay at home moms. Some asked if it was boring and what did I do all day. I loved it and knew I was doing the right thing but sometimes when I saw their wardrobes, huge houses and nice cars I would question my choices. When our friends got together there was always talk about work and what everyone was doing and I'd sit there and just listen half thinking wow, that sounds so important compared to what I'm doing and at the same time thinking I'm so glad I'm not in their shoes! They all continue to work and I just don't know how they do it. I don't think any of them have to, they just think it's what you're supposed to do because it was how they were brought up. Also, their husbands like that they work and make money and are doing something to "fulfill" themselves.

I love your blog and look forward to hearing what you have to say. I learn so much :)
Kristen
1 reply · active 447 weeks ago
Thank you, Kristen. Many women stay in their careers because they feel pressured to do it even though they know deep in their hearts it's not where they belong.
What a wonderful, wonderful post! As a younger woman I wholeheartedly echo your suggestion that women whose kids are grown and gone have a ripe mission field before them of teaching and mentoring younger women, and maybe offering to watch their children occasionally to give young tired mothers a break, or volunteering in another capacity. There is no lack of Kingdom work to be done, if we just look around us for needs to meet, no need for a career to fall back on. I wish I had a real life older woman, like you Lori, in my neighborhood or church!
1 reply · active 447 weeks ago
Yes, Mrs M, especially in our culture of mobility where few live near their parents so they can have help and a bit of relief.
While we can only know of the times we live in, I think that it is correct to believe women have always had to make difficult choices. Young ladies who graduate school and are sent to college by their well-meaning parents who want to help them to have a means to live on may end up marrying and having children, yet are oft in a position to not be able to stay home due to expenses. If more parents would instead not waste their hard-earned dollars spending on their daughters education and saving it instead for their own retirement needs, while also keeping their daughters focused on homemaking lessons, then these young ladies would not have that distraction of career aspirations. This would open up more jobs also to the male workforce that women have been taking for so long. And if more men would understand that women's hearts feel the calling to be a mother and to raise their own children, it would be....so....much....better for families. Women who work do so for many reasons and surely one is to gain means to make life better for the children who they love as much as women who are blessed to be at home. By the time children are independent of living at home, women who feel the empty nest who have not worked, are usually those who end up in low paying jobs at retail, etc. Now one benefit is that they could get health care benefits to save money yet that seems to change every day. So yes, volunteer work is certaihly an excellent and rewarding path! Great idea!
3 replies · active 447 weeks ago
Great point about women taking jobs away fro men. Women leaving their homes has turned this culture on its head and made a mess of everything. Many men want their wives with their careers to continue working since all they see now is dollar signs instead of a mother home to shepherd their children. Tragic! Great comment, Anony. Thank you!
My Dad has always said this - that women in the workforce is the reason both parents often need to work today, to make ends meet. He firmly believes that if all women came home, all men would be able to be employed in a job with a decent salary, instead of becoming demoralized by competing with women for jobs, or having a woman as a boss, and being unemployed and unable to support their families.
Thank you Lori for posting this. When we follow God's ways, He is glorified. I forwarded this post to some of my friends. God bless you Lori and Ken.
1 reply · active 447 weeks ago
Thank you Michelle.
Lori, Why won't you answer my question and help clear up the confusion? I have not been disrespectful or antagonistic. Just want to figure out if she works outside the home as her bio indicates? Thank you.
1 reply · active 447 weeks ago
I can't answer you, Ann, since she herself calls herself a "stay at home mom." Maybe she gives a class on line or at night when her children are in bed. All I know is what you know from the article.
Daniele from Quebec's avatar

Daniele from Quebec · 447 weeks ago

Hi Lori! Thanks again for your blog! Few minutes ago I was vacuuming the floor, and I was thinking of a mother at church, working outside her home, saying that she is teaching her 3 daughters to study hard, and have a good job, to be able to pay someone to do the chores in their homes... I know for myself that the chores I do bless my husband!!!
1 reply · active 447 weeks ago
My post coming out on Monday deals with this subject. What exactly are mothers who work full time modeling to their children?
What about women who are called to a life of singleness? If they are not prepared to support their needs who can?
1 reply · active 447 weeks ago
I write that mothers who have children need to be home full time with their children since their children need and want them. For a woman who is single, she can do whatever she wants to do as long as whatever she does, she does it heartily, as to the Lord and not unto men.

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