 |
| Guest Post from Anna's Blog |
A couple of days ago, I received a comment saying it’s impossible
to live on one income alone in our day and age. This touched a nerve (in a
positive way!), because most people would probably say it’s impossible to
manage on our monthly
budget, yet we have been doing it for a while now.
Just for the record, this post only focuses on the practical side of a wife at home; the spiritual is a story onto itself, along with the husband’s obligation to provide for his family. My husband always says there is no true financial blessing when husbands rely on their wives to provide.
I’m probably not the most frugal-savvy person there is, though. I
know many people who have been living on one small income for quite a few years
and have raised/are raising large families this way. I’m not an expert on
budgeting, coupon-clipping, and discount-hunting, but if there’s one thing I
can tell, it’s this: living on one income (and one far from large!) is
definitely possible.
The greater part of it is in the mindset. Letting go of what I
call “the entitlement syndrome” will almost immediately lead most people to
think of whole lists of things they have previously regarded as necessities or
legitimate needs, yet, in fact, it’s entirely possible to do without them.
There are so many ways to cut down costs in the usage of electricity, water and
gas, grocery shopping, entertainment, and many other things; time and space
currently don’t permit me to dig into them. I’ll just share one main principle
– enjoy what’s free; think
twice before spending.
Another important thing I would like to mention is the importance
of being debt-free from the beginning. My husband and I were blessed to start
out that way. Of course, it’s more difficult (though not impossible) to manage
on a small income if you also have debt to pay.
The notion that women can’t afford to stay home because that
second income is so badly needed is a false one. It’s a myth perpetuated by
those who are interested in pushing women out to the work force – where they
more likely will benefit someone else than their immediate family. The fact is,
there are many people living on one income. Take for example single mothers
(whose rampantly increasing number is a direct outcome of feminism). While
fathers are legally obligated to pay child support, the fact is that many
single mothers get none and support their children themselves. No one tells
them they “can’t” do it. But in a family where the wife is healthy and
hard-working (and therefore able to do beneficial work for her family in her
home), they are told they “can’t afford” for the wife to stay at home.
The notion is that the wife’s working outside the home will
automatically double the family income. This idea is in most cases a false one.
To start with, women generally earn much less than men. Not because of
so-called “gender discrimination,” but because women naturally choose the less
lucrative fields and invest less vigorously in their careers. In most families,
the husband is the one who produces the lion’s share of the income anyway. I know
many families where the wife’s paycheck is viewed as pocket money and is spent
on luxuries and “extras” – most of them meant for her personal use alone.
Of course, in many more families the wife’s income is only
directed towards what is considered necessary. I had one woman tell me the
surplus of her salary, gas costs deduced, is only enough to pay for daycare for
her two-year-old. For this family, daycare for a two-year-old was believed to
be an unquestionable necessity; not for a moment did they stop to consider the
possibility of just keeping their boy at home. Why is that? Because we were led
to believe that “properly trained” people are better at caring for toddlers
than us, their own parents. In Israel, especially, it’s very unacceptable for
children over a year old to still be at home. It always boggles my mind to
think how many families with two children under three (in religious families,
this is nearly a status quo for many years) could afford for the wife to be
home if only they considered keeping their children at home as well. I’m not
even talking about full-fledged homeschooling, just the delay of shepherding
the children off to institutions from very young age.
Naturally, daycare and gas costs are a no-brainer when we try to
calculate what is actually left of a wife’s salary at the end of the month. By
the way, I’m by now thoroughly familiar with the feminist argument that said
costs should not be deducted from the wife’s salary, but rather, from the
combined family income. Such theoretical calculations are utterly useless if
what we want to know is how much the family will gain or lose by sending the
wife out to work.
There are, of course, many things a wife at home can do directly
or indirectly in order to cut costs. An example of a direct way to save is
having more time to plan menus and shopping trips and to cook from scratch and
in bulk. An indirect way of saving is providing a joyful, pleasant place to be
in by investing many hours into home keeping – thus making the home more attractive
for the family. A family who loves being home is less likely to dash out at the
first opportunity. Being out and about usually means spending more money, on
gas, eating out, and different temptations that always present themselves on
such outings.
I’m not saying a family will never lose out financially if the
wife doesn’t go out to work. For sure, for many having a wife at home means
giving up on certain material benefits (even if those aren’t nearly as large as
the world would have us believe). Yet it is possible to make it on one income
once you decide that a wife and mother at home is a more important asset than
the paycheck she can potentially bring in.
Wealth gained hastily will dwindle,
but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.
Proverbs 13:11
