Do you treasure your home more than Christ? Are the things of this world more important to you than the things of Christ? When we had four small children, we moved from north of Los Angeles to the San Diego area. We bought a new home with the money we made from our small home in LA.
I
met a woman in this neighborhood who had one child and decorated her home
beautifully. She invested hours and hours and a lot of money into her home. She
kept it perfectly clean. I wanted to have a home like hers so I went about
creating my home as close to hers as possible.
It
was during this time that Ken and I argued about money. I finally asked him to
give me a budget and he did. However, instead of waiting patiently for the time
I could buy something new, I would buy it on “credit” and have to wait a long
time to be able to pay it off with the budget I had been given. I had fallen
for the trap of having a gorgeously decorated home that cost a lot of money –
the America dream.
During
this time, Ken was gone from home traveling half of the year and my children
needed my undivided attention but I was too busy painting, shopping for, and
fixing up my home. Shortly after this, I got terribly sick and could no longer fix up my home like I wanted. About nine years later, we bought another bigger
home that was bright and sunny.
A
few years before this, my mother-in-law had given me a book called “Margins” by
Richard Swenson. Right before we moved to our second new home, I decided to
read this book and it convicted me of my mad dash to decorate my home
perfectly. On the day we moved to my new home, I shared with my mother-in-law
that I regretted encouraging Ken to buy this home and didn’t want to spend a ton of money on this home but wanted to live
contently instead. She replied, “Live simply in this home” and I have.
This
home is very comfortable but not extravagantly decorated. Most of the furniture
is old from my childhood and some we bought on Craigslist. We have simple
window shades and very little clutter. I learned to value the people in my home
more than my home itself. I later learned about being a submissive wife and
began practicing this.
I
made the decision that I wanted to treasure what the Lord treasured and not
what this culture treasured. His treasure would become my treasure. His treasures
are those that live eternally – people. Don’t waste your time having the
perfect home. Yes, keep it as clean and tidy as you can but remember that the
people in your home are what make your house a home and not the home itself
since it often changes and will one day be destroyed for good, along with all
the other lifeless things on this planet.
But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.
Matthew 6:20
Matthew 6:20
Melissa M. · 449 weeks ago
Guest · 448 weeks ago
Guest · 448 weeks ago
pamelambc 33p · 449 weeks ago
It's not necessarily bad to spend a little more on something that will last a long time. We paid more than we would have liked to for the comforter and curtains in our bedroom, but we have had them now for 15 years. They are still in good condition (no stains, tears etc.). They don't even look old, so we have no reason to change them I paid an embarrassing amount for a pair of flip flops once, but I'm still wearing them about 13 years later and will continue to do so unless they fall apart.
My husband recently asked if I wanted to get new dishes. I told him I didn't see a need. In the 24 years we have had them, there is only one chip on a plate. Over the years we have broken a couple of bowls but were able to find matching ones that were sold separately, so we replaced those. There is no need for a whole new set of dishes right now.
My philosophy is only replace things that are broken and unable to be fixed or torn, dirty etc.
Ken · 449 weeks ago
Mrs. Kelley Dibble · 449 weeks ago
You are both spot on regarding our choices made for our homes. It is vital that a homemaker learn from her errors in judgment and the decisions acted upon with discontentment and an ungrateful heart.
I have a vintage spoon rest hanging in my kitchen above the range. It states, "The wife can throw out more with a scoop than a man can bring in with a shovel." I've seen another version of this saying elsewhere: "The wife can throw out the back door more than a man can bring in the front." The wife's "looking well to the ways of her household" tells the Lord (her husband's head) and her husband (her head) about the condition of her heart. Lori's right: Where our treasure is, that is where our heart will be. Hmm. Seems like I read that Somewhere else, too, Lori!
Could it be that if our personal physical adornment should be a meek and quiet spirit that these would be appropriate adornments for our homes as well? When the "Mercedes Matter" came up in a recent blog post here on Always Learning, I remembered Ken's comment that the two of you have chosen to invest a portion of your income in people, not in the materialism of this world. You folks are certainly laying up treasure where moth nor rust can corrupt it. It's the people-- THE SOULS-- who live in and visit our homes we should treasure and be given in hospitality to them.
Continued...
Mrs. Kelley Dibble · 449 weeks ago
Michelle, I especially liked your personal testimonies about money decisions you have made. I don't know if you started your marriage journey with patient choices full of thought, "pondering all these things in your heart," but I did not. Thirty-five years later, gratefully I can say that I've learned a few lessons from my poor decisions. Poor, indeed. Those decisions in the past were made from a heart of covetousness.
We have moved two dozen times in 35 years of marriage and lived all over the US and on islands in the Pacific. We currently live in a rental on Guam. (Aren't we all renting?) Our most recent move has been yet another in which I have "shopped the house." These are my "redecorating" handmaidens: spray paint cans, paint brushes, book'oupage, map'oupage, glue gun, staple gun, sewing machine, screw driver, electric saw (at the end of my Dear Husband's arm...) and camera. I hang the same frames I've had for years and just change out the beloved photos inside of our friends and family with more current or vintage ones.
I don't look to Pinterest for inspiration for my walls. I look to the Word of God. I use my husband's projector and "stencil" the Lord's Word on a wall in each room. I use colored pencils and accomplish some of the most beautiful "art" in our home this way. Recently I was inspired to "stencil" above every doorway somewhere the word "souls." Souls, souls, souls. Living souls. These are the treasures in our homes.
Like I'm sure you do as well, Michelle, I wait to buy it on sale. I loved Laine's take on shopping for her home. She makes her list and prays for God to direct her in finding the needs on her list at minimal cost. When we depend on God to lead us to wise investments of the money He has entrusted to us, we learn the wisdom of good stewardship.
Our high quality sheets are a neutral color, cream/ecru, and have a high thread count. We've been sleeping on them since 2003; we changed our mattress size that year, otherwise we'd be sleeping on even older sheets! An occasional dose of Oxyclean keeps them fresh smelling, and I never put them into the dryer. When they're washed, they're clipped to free hangers from Macy's (they will give me all the hangers I want) and hung to air-dry from the door frames. In our humid climate, my sheets wouldn't dry as rapidly outside as they do indoors. Sheets washed in the morning are dry by bedtime. Yes, one set. I had two sets, but someone needed our second set more than I did. Like Michelle wrote, treating spots and stains, holes and tears immediately will maintain your sheets' good condition.
I learned from Filipinos we worked with that nothing should be thrown into the trash. It can be repaired or revamped into something else or given to someone who needs it. When the insole linings of some of my shoes peeled away (They don't make shoes or anything like they used to!), I didn't pitch them. I decoupaged a new lining inside and they're as good as new. Many, MANY pairs of my shoes are decades old. My sweet husband will say, "I remember buying those for you when we were in...." I think it gives him a good feeling when he sees me still wearing purchases made long ago. Good decisions! It's the newer shoes that are poorly constructed today.
Michelle mentioned dishes. We recently decided that we weren't sure if the everyday dishes we've been eating on for over 10 years are lead free. We purchased them in the Philippines, and we simply had no way of knowing for certain, so we shopped online for several days to replace them. As a 35th wedding anniversary present, my husband bought me a set of simple white Corelle, 12 place settings that also came with some serving size pieces. These will last for generations to come, and we are certain we are eating on lead-free plates.
My husband too will ask, "Do you want to get rid of that and get a new one?" My typical response is, "No, thank you, honey. No need to get a new one. That one is still serving us very well here." And it's true. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, and if it's broken, well, fix it!
Keep our homes sparkling, orderly and uncluttered becomes foolishness when we overlook the loved ones who live in and visit our homes. Serving and reaching are the keys. Another vintage piece is prominently displayed in my kitchen. Though it's not wood, it has a carved appearance to it with a house and brick chimney at the top. It reads:
HOME BLESSINGS
The CROWN of the HOME is GODLINESS.
The BEAUTY of the HOME is ORDER.
The GLORY of the HOME is HOSPITALITY.
The BLESSING of the HOME is CONTENTMENT.
"As For Me And My House,
We Will Serve The LORD."
Joshua 24:15
That sums it up, doesn't it?
*hugs*
Kelley~
simplesummit 0p · 449 weeks ago
Thank you so much for sharing this.
Best,
Bibi
Ken · 449 weeks ago
Christine Gowing · 449 weeks ago
Growing up I had NO control of anything (my mom was domineering). God pointed out, that I was doing the same thing to my children.
Today, I have given up be compulsive and have a HOME, not a house.
Ken · 449 weeks ago
What many wives do not fully understand is how much of a burden they can place on a husband when they are unhappy when they can't buy the new couch or decorate like they want to and they show their discontent. It makes him feel inadequate even as he is doing a great job providing. Coming to a healthy home budget can help lead to contentment in the marriage.
Polly · 449 weeks ago
I started a series of posts on my blog about how to live (and love) the home you have. I have only written one post so far b/c I have been busy, but this gives me the desire to write the next one soon. The first is on practical tips, and the second one will be focused on the spiritual, because I think the spiritual side of this is the key to it!
http://thejoyfulhouse.blogspot.com/2016/03/what-i...
As an aside, Margin was the book that was pivotal for me in deciding to tame my life, quit practicing law full-time, and re-focus on what really matters. I LOVE that book! :) I wonder how many people's lives it has changed! And--I think I will read it again as this summer dwindles to an end.
Ken · 449 weeks ago
You are so right. Our kitchen and bathrooms are now 20 years old, and are showing wear... and when we see pics of the homes being sold around us or on tv, it makes us think like we need to redo things. Of course it is right before a sale that these two things usually get updated.
You bet there is a spiritual side to all of this... it seems everything we do somehow goes back to pleasing our Lord Jesus, not self. "When things are in the saddle they ride mankind" so it is best to give all our things to Him and then we can be good stewards of His things that He allows us to use for our pleasure and His glory. After all, this whole world belongs to Him, and He gave us our gifts and intelligence to earn a living and buy His things so we can use them.
Allie · 449 weeks ago
Ken · 449 weeks ago
It's really a simple prescription that has held true from the beginning of time: "Do things God's ways and reap His blessings." Because the one who made us also left us with a great User's Manual in the Bible for how to get the best out of love and life.
Mrs. G. · 449 weeks ago
Yet, I notice that their home doesn't have a very warm feel to it, because you can't really be yourself or enjoy your time there. While I like to take care of my things and our home, I would never want anyone to feel that way, especially my husband and my children.
Becky · 449 weeks ago
2happy4 66p · 449 weeks ago
Laurie · 449 weeks ago
Becky Groff · 448 weeks ago
Thanks
Becky
Ken · 448 weeks ago
Mrs. Kelley Dibble · 448 weeks ago
Kelley~
Janet Monroe · 448 weeks ago
How easy it is to take our eyes off Jesus! Thank you for your blog!
Mrs.O · 448 weeks ago
God bless❤
Mrs.O