Monday, November 7, 2011

When Husbands Say "NO!"

Her heart aches for children.  She is doing everything she can to be a loving wife and appreciate him just the way that he is even though he is not ready for children yet.  He probably wants to have all his ducks in off the debt, get established in his career, buy a home, have a savings, etc.  {I mentioned this to Erin and she responded, "He'd rather have more ducks than babies!" :)}

I don't blame men who feel this way. They carry the burden of providing for a family.  Society tells them that children are expensive and they deserve the best. However, I go back to the Bible.

When the Israelites were in bondage in Egypt {they were slaves}, the way they grew to be so powerful is by having children. God blessed them. God is our provider and I think men forget that. I think the fear of having children too soon or having too many usually comes down to fear...Not trusting God as our provider.

My mom was raised during the depression. Her dad was a milkman. They had seven children. My mom said they were definitely poor compared to today's standards, but she never knew they were poor. All of their needs were met.

We live in the wealthiest nation the world has ever known and all of our needs {and wants} are abundantly provided for us, yet so many live in so much fear. Where is faith and trust in God? He owns the cattle on a thousand hills!

Look at the way He created our bodies. Men are ready almost all the time. Women enjoy sex the most when they are ovulating. Ummm...Do you think God wants us to have babies?  Most forms of birth control are unhealthy {all forms of birth control have side effects except the condom, which is no fun, and the rhythm method}.

I realize some women shouldn't have any more children because of health problems. The whole issue of when and how many children to have does come down to what each husband and wife decides. I am a firm believer in submission to the husband, but also "winning him without a word."

So if you have a husband that isn't ready to have children or doesn't want anymore, my advice to you is to give it completely over to the Lord and let Him work on your husband.  Being upset or angry with your husband is sin. Love him, serve him, please him and pray a lot. 

God works powerfully in others.  I have heard of many husbands changing their minds. You have a much better chance of changing his mind by continuing to be loving and gentle with him, then trying to manipulate him in any way.

I do have a funny story to end this with. Ken told me I could stay home after I had my second baby. I was a full-time school teacher. I wanted to stay home with Alyssa so badly that I put a hole in my diaphragm and we conceived Ryan! I was so happy because I got to stay home and raise my babies.

Now, I don't recommend using deceit like this in anyway to get your way. I wasn't a submissive wife back then at all but I did get to stay home. Nothing is worth harming the relationship between you and your husband, though.  God will not honor that behavior, so trust Him, believe Him...He alone is worthy.

Delight thyself also in the LORD; 
and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart
Psalm 37:4

I waited patiently for the Lord;  
he turned to me and heard my cry.
 Psalm 40:1