Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Their Ducks Weren't All in Order


Almost from the moment Ryan met Cassi, he wanted to marry her. He was in Pharmacy school and only had two more years to go. After beginning his third year and following a pharmacist around, he decided he didn't want to be a pharmacist. He wanted to change careers and go to dental school, Lord willing. {He had become good friends with Steven and liked his career path much better.}

If he is to become a dentist, he has four years of schooling ahead of him, but he wanted to marry Cassi! He worked hard to pass the dental exam to get into dental school. He passed with flying colors. They got married. However, it was late to apply for dental school by this time but he did it anyways. He got accepted into three. One is in California that is over four times the cost of two in Texas and it is much cheaper to live in Texas. They chose Texas.

Cassi worked full-time for awhile so she got a good job. It exhausted her. She came home every night and didn't have the energy to fix meals for her new husband or the strength to do much more than come home and rest. They decide together that she must work only part-time since full-time is too much on her.  Her greatest desire is to take good care of her husband. Her employer, who has never allowed his employees to work part-time, offered her a part-time position! He values her work in his office.

Ryan applied for an interest free loan that would cover half of all of his tuition. He got it. A family from their church offered them a large room in their home with a king-sized bed, their own bathroom, and told them they have free access to their kitchen and to make themselves at home. They told them that if there was anything they do that bothers them to tell them. They got to live there for free until an apartment at the school was available. They moved into their VERY affordable apartment last week.

God ordained marriage. He values marriage WAY above an education. He values children. He wants us getting married and having children and then He promises to provide for us. He is abundantly providing for Ryan and Cassi WAY beyond what they could have ever imagined. He loves Ryan and Cassi. They love Him. He is taking good care of them.

Stop being like the world around you and valuing education above marriage and children. God works mightily through marriage and children to spread the Gospel. He tells us to be fruitful and multiply. His ways are good. What He commands, He provides. Trust Him!

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly
 above all that we ask or think, according to the power 
that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church 
by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
Ephesians 3:20,21


Comments (31)

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It's so important to have faith & to believe that God "rewards those who seek Him". (Hebrews 11:6) Also, we must believe His promises, "Seek first His kingdom & all these things shall be given you." My faith faltered a bit while my son worked at a car wash & I worried about his future. He discovered God had given him a wonderful mechanical talent (amazing his employers as he fixed everything that broke!) & he recently took an apprentice position for a very successful heating & air conditioning business (paying him $17 per hour while he apprentices). I've seen God do wonderful things for us over & over....yet I still am doubtful sometimes! So I'm "preaching to myself". Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia
1 reply · active 551 weeks ago
God does provide! Our Christian school tuition payments were very high for us, yet we were very convicted that this is what God required of us. Twenty seven years of those payments - in all that time we never were short of anything. We stand amazed when God does provide but we shouldn't - He is God. He knows every need. When we pray to Him about our education, our marriage - He will see to it.
I love the story of that young couple. Education is great - but always to be realized that staying home with the children is first.
1 reply · active 551 weeks ago
Lady Virtue's avatar

Lady Virtue · 551 weeks ago

Great post; it brings Philippians 4:19 to mind. A lot of people seem to think they can get started out in life making well beyond an entry level salary and therefore be able to afford a multi-bedroom house, two vehicles, etc. Of course, God knows we need a place to live, transportation, and so on, and He will provide. We must trust Him.

God loves and values people above things; we should do the same. I loved the statement about Him valuing marriage and children above education.

And...congratulations to the beautiful couple! :)
2 replies · active 551 weeks ago
herecomestheLIGHT's avatar

herecomestheLIGHT · 551 weeks ago

I love this post and I love what Lori said at the end of the post.

Now, I will proceed to add my two cents:

This is going to come as a shock to most, I'm sure, but if you love the Lord, you should Fear the Lord and learn about the Lord by reading your Bible. The Bible, to my recollection, does not discuss how believers should go to college. In fact, the times it mentions a secular education it doesn't really speak very highly of it (remember King Solomon and his wise counsel to all of us?). There is knowledge and then there is wisdom. Trying to become wise is like pouring the ocean into a glass. You'll never be the wisest and you'll never know everything there is to no about anything.

The smartest people I know NEVER went to college. That includes secular idols that are put up on a pedestal.

The smartest people I know are people who have read their Bibles and have become hard workers through wisdom they have acquired over vast periods of time in their daily lives. They are far greater and far wiser than anyone I have ever met that went to a college to get a degree. I have come to the conclusion that college for the most part makes a person stupider (not wiser). Now, don't get me wrong, I know some wise people that went to college, but I would say that most of them had to do a lot of deprogramming before they realized their full potential.

You want to be smart?

Learn to read your Bible.

Learn the ways of our Lord.

Leave the world to its own. Let the worldly chase worldly ideals and possessions.

If you do pursue a secular education, do it with a Godly perspective and understand that your identity is NOT in the college degree that you get, but in the Lord.

Seek wise counsel -- single friends attending college with you are NOT wise counsel!!
1 reply · active 551 weeks ago
I actually agree with the spirit of this post, Lori. I agree with a lot of it. When I married my husband not only were our ducks NOT in a row, but there was all kinds of stuff in the mix that should have made for a disastrous marriage. But GOD...

That said, I wonder that there seems to be some kind of mindset that getting an education beyond high school is tantamount to "valuing education over marriage". I just don't get it. We have raised our girls to be wives and mothers. They know what God expects of them when they marry. And still, in the meanwhile, they are attending college.

One will earn her BA while she's still 20. The other two right after they turn 21. And every one of them with NO loans at all, which we have accomplished through much strategy without my going to work. Yet that seems to be the general consensus among more right leaning Christians. That any girl who goes to college is on the feminist track.

Truth be told, I'm hoping they find a husband while attending college (while living at home I might add), as our church isn't exactly running over with marriageable young men. Story for another day.

-elspeth
3 replies · active 551 weeks ago
My brother and sister can talk of little else but getting their kids through college. That is all important. And when the family starts in on me and saving for my four year olds college I feel like a fish out of water. But what I do say...and their eyes all go crossed...is that we are trusting the Lord to show us the direction Liam is to go. And when He makes it clear then He will also provide the way. Some people have a hard time understanding that college is not the end all!
2 replies · active 551 weeks ago
It almost broke my heart when I learned people were advising my husband to wait to marry me until he graduated college. We met at church a month after he had begun his Freshman year. We were engaged 10 months later. We got married in the summer before Junior year. (14 yrs ago) We have the same kitchen table from that apartment and we just got a new bed last year. We are fine! We're blessed beyond measure and serving the Lord together with our 3 sons. Sometimes it takes a while to have what you'd like, but you'll never go without food or clothes when you're doing things God's way. I believe people put hardships on some young people in making them wait.
1 reply · active 551 weeks ago
Sounds like everything worked out the way it was supposed to!
Are our ducks ever really in a row? Seems like waiting for that would only make for more waiting, ha! We were married in college and my husband chose a career that doesn't pay much (but that is very fulfilling to him). We probably won't ever have "it all!" But I can testify that God has ALWAYS provided for us. ALWAYS. It seems like every time things have looked dim or impossible, some sort of amazing thing happens that was just what we needed. We are more blessed than we can imagine!
1 reply · active 551 weeks ago
We married while my husband was a college student, too, 33 years ago. We know now that it is God Who puts the "ducks" in divine order. I state nearly every day aloud, "I love my life!" An LPN was telling me (we were both new brides), "You're all Suzie Homemaker." I could never do that. I was born to be a nurse. I hate cooking and cleaning house."

We both gave birth to two kids, and she had paid me the highest compliment that day all those years ago. My husband had no student loans and we have lived like royalty in rental homes nearly our entire marriage-- on foreign fields for half of it. God has a beautiful way of putting your ducks in the order He deems best, and it's with joy that I say, "I sure do love Him for that!"

Happy highway,
Kelley~
I agree with this post, especially as it applies to your daughter and her new husband. Cassi and her new husband are both in their mid-twenties, I believe. Also, Cassi was raised in what I would deem an exceptionally spiritually grounded household with you and Ken as parents that unfortunately is rare, even among believers. Most people Cassi's age (and I feel like I can say this because I believe I'm right about her age), even if they were raised in Christian homes, were raised to believe the world should revolve around them, they should get what they desire with limited work or patience, and to be entitled. I wonder if you would give the exact same advice to two 18-year-olds who wanted to get married primarily because they were worried they couldn't resist the temptation to sleep together. In biblical times, most 18 year-olds (and younger) had been doing the difficult work of adults since early in life, and I believe that they had a greater sense of responsibility and consequences. Now, there are the rare teenagers who have been given the firm spiritual upbringing to maturely enter into a committed marriage before 20. But I would say the majority of teens and college-aged young adults, even those I see in my church's youth group, have very little concept of the life-long commitment and seriousness that is marriage. I would pray that if there are parents out there and their selfie-obsessed, pinterest-fanatic 19 year old daughter comes to them with the desire to get married, parents would pray for their children, give them all the financial and spiritual support possible, and encourage them to seek in prayer the reasons on their heart to marry. Is it because bridal dresses on pinterest are pretty? Their best friend just got a big engagement ring? Or is it really the right decision? All to say, in an ideal world, very young people should be encouraged and prepared for the possibility of early marriage from a young age. But that is not happening. So if we are going to encourage very young adults to "not wait" to get married, I pray that parents, Titus2 women, friends, and churches all step up to do EVERYTHING possible to keep these marriages from failing. As the secular world likes to throw in our face, the rate of divorce in the church is at least the rate of divorce in the secular world, and people who get married before 25 are twice as likely to get divorced. So if we are going to encourage early marriage, we must change the culture for young believers so that they are prepared for such commitments and properly supported when they do marry.
Some might say that they were 'lucky' with the way things worked out for them. It's true that good things come to good people, and I'm sure the church family lent the room to your daughter & son in law because they are wonderful people, but we know it is much more than just luck and friendliness! Your family is very blessed.
This is so beautiful. I love seeing all the ways God has blessed them as they begin their lives together. What a precious gift.
Cassi is such a lucky lady!! Your family is so blessed! Your blog has been such a blessing to me and I appreciate all the hard work you put into it!

I'm a young lady (25) in my final year of dental school (debt free, thank God!) - and so far I've been quite "unlucky in love". I desire to get married and be a wife and mother but God has closed doors to relationships that were unfruitful - and looking back now, I'm so grateful to Him for that! I know without a doubt that my fulfillment in life isn't going to be found in dentistry...however I haven't met my husband YET (or maybe I have but I don't know it yet) so I'm praying and believing!!! God's hand has been evident in my life in uncountable ways so despite my singleness I am full of joy knowing that he is in control and that he has a plan. It's so easy to be envious of others but I refuse to let the enemy take over my heart. Your blog has made such an impact on my life Lori - you give very wise counsel and I'm grateful for you!!

All the best!
As someone interested in pharmacy, I am curious what made him change his mind and switch to dentistry?
I'm very much pro-not necessarily waiting to have all of life figured out and being completely settled before looking for marriage. I was in my Junior year of college when we got married, and I did finish college, and it actually wasn't hard at all being a married college student, it was easy!
In Indonesia, marry in college is considered shameful or discouraged. Yes, some educational path everywhere in the world barring marriage when in college, like in the military or police academy.

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