Dating Your "Brother"?

A godly woman must be faithful to her husband, even if she doesn't have one yet. The same thing applies to men. This is why teenage dating is so dangerous. You must teach your children that every person they date, they should treat as someone else's spouse until there is a ring on their finger.

Paul admonishes men to treat younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. I think the Duggars are on to something. They don't even hold hands until they are engaged. Until you exchange wedding vows with someone, you are not their spouse. We are called to purity. We are called to respect other's purity. Each couple needs to set their own boundaries with this in mind.

Teenage dating is is often a futile exercise with too much of its purpose to satisfy the cravings of the flesh. There is rarely any thought for the other person's future spouse, just for themselves. When couples begin a physical relationship before they even know each other, it is dangerous, very dangerous, since they are thinking with their emotions, instead of their heads.

This is why Paul warns men to treat younger women as sisters. He knows how easily we can get swept away once a physical relationship begins because sex and everything that starts the engines revving for sex, belongs in marriage.

We are commanded to keep the marriage bed pure. This should begin WAY before marriage. Purity needs to be taught often to your children. Hollywood seems to portray that the only ones having fun with sex are those who are not married. {NO sexual content should even be shown on the TV!} Often the couple meets and on a first or second date they are rolling around the bed together with zero thought towards their future spouse. 

Sex is reduced to nothing but pleasure. There is no spiritual component to it. There is no thought of two becoming one flesh. They don't think of all the dire consequences to the mind, body, and emotions as a result of having sex outside of marriage. It's all considered freedom for self. But when your freedom begins to affect your future marriage, is it really free? Selfishness is never free, but sometimes the cost comes in missing out on God's best. Remember, God rarely has to discipline His children with much more than allowing us to suffer the consequences of our own sins. 

Sex must be is a precious gift you give your spouse. It was made only for your spouse, and no one else. Your children will listen to you on this essential subject if they respect you and they respect authority, especially the authority of God's Word. 

When your children are "in a relationship," don't be afraid to ask them if they are treating each other like brother and sister. We all need accountability. We aren't suppose to be an island to ourselves. Sin is ugly and leads to terrible consequences. Help your children in this battle for purity. They CAN do it with the help of the Spirit!

Rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father; 
and the younger men as brethren; 
the elder women as mothers; 
the younger as sisters, with all purity.
I Timothy 5:1, 2

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