Maybe God was right all along. Maybe, just maybe, a marriage works better when there is just one leader. And just maybe that person should be the God-ordained leader, the husband. This woman has been married for 36 years, just a bit longer then Ken and me. She wrote a list of 36 things she's learned about marriage. I decided I would go through and see how many of the negative things could have been solved by having one God-ordained leader from the get go and some godly counsel. {Much of the article is VERY good advice and her words are in italics!}
#10 Struggle in marriage is not only inevitable, it's necessary. None of us can grow a strong and healthy relationship without having to face and resolve difficult issues. This is true but how you deal with struggle is key. Sharing concerns and opinions is very important but then allowing your husband to decide since he is the head of the home is the biblical way.
#13 Marriage is a long negotiation about how two people are going to run things...you can battle or you can collaborate. Yes, it is a loooooong negotiation if their is no designated leader. This is why no institution has two or more leaders. Godly leaders will listen to their wives input but they get to decide the final solution. You can either rest in God's remedy or fight it and disobey God.
#14 Even the most stubborn among us can learn how to yield. So true but the one who should be yielding the fastest is the wife since she was created to be her husband's help meet and he is her leader.
#15 Most of your spouse's upsets and frustrations aren't about you, but some are. If you are striving to be a godly, submissive help meet to your husband, he will have very little frustration with you and it will make his life SO much better.
#24 A good marriage will have its share of conflict, frustration, boredom, unresolvable arguments, slammed doors and nights where one person sleeps on the couch. This should not be happening in Christian marriages. Of course, we aren't perfect but we should strive to be at peace with ALL men, especially our husband. The sooner we give up control and allow our husband to be the leader, the less conflict and sleeping on the couch there will be in our marriage!
#31 Some conflicts cannot be resolved by compromise...solution becomes a matter of generosity...There doesn't need to be compromise if your husband is the head of your home. He can listen to you, take in your input but then he gets to decide. He is responsible for how he leads your home, not you.
#32 Fights are never about content...name what's setting you off. James gives us the easy answer for this. What's causing fights and quarrels among you? You aren't getting your way! You must realize that it is okay to not get your own way and be happy with it. Christ came to serve and give His life away and He calls us to do the same thing.
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ;
and the head of the woman is the man;
and the head of Christ is God.
1 Corinthians 11:3
