Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Why Do Women Feel the Need to Earn Money?

There was a beautiful young woman who was pregnant with her first baby. I asked her if she was going to be home full-time once her baby is born. She told me that she will work some since she would feel guilty not working and bringing in some money even though her husband is a professional who makes a lot of money. This has made me ponder the reason women feel such a desire to bring in an income. Mary Pride gave me the answer while I was reading her book The Way Home.

"To call only women who leave the home working wives amounts to saying that women who stay home don't work! This psychological word game is at the root of our modern career movement. Careerism is based on an inferiority complex, as follows. (1) Only men's work has worth. Women's traditional work is useless. Therefore, (2) I must get a job to prove I am somebody. If all the action is out in the men's economic opportunity sphere, well then, we'll all have to crowd into that end of the bus."

I remember telling a friend that I was going to go back to teaching. My children were older so I thought I should go back to work, even though our family could survive easily on Ken's income. My friend's response to me for going back to work, "Oh good! You are finally going to be doing something for yourself!"

The Bible never commands a woman to provide for her family. It never commands women to find a way to make money from home. However, the feminist movement has infiltrated the minds of women, even Christian women, and made them fell unworthy if they are not providing monetarily to their families! This is not true, women. Your worth comes from the Lord and who you are in Christ; it has nothing to do with what you do or how much money you earn. If you are a believer and desire to walk in obedience to what He commands, He has told you in His Word what He requires of you.

There is NO guessing game to figure out God's will for your life as I have written about many times. It is clearly written in His Word. Single women need to use their time to care for those things of the Lord and be holy in body and in spirit {1 Corinthians 7:34 and 1 Timothy 5:14}. Young wives need to be sober, love and obey their husband, love their children, be chaste, discreet and keepers at home {Titus 2:4, 5}. Older women are to teach young women {Titus 2:3}. 

If you want to make money from home, you can as long as you aren't neglecting your God-ordained calling. Never feel that this is where you will find your worth because you won't. Be the wife and mother you are called to be so when your children are all grown up they will arise up and called you blessed; your husband also, and he will praise you {Proverbs 31:28}.

She looks well to the ways of her household,
and eats not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27

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Melissa M. · 486 weeks ago

I struggle so much with not having an income of my own so this is very timely! However, 2 nights ago, I was telling my son how blessed I was to have him (He's 15) and all the character traits that were admirable in him. He reciprocated by saying that I was willing to do the things that nobody else wanted to do. I think that is "rising up and calling me blessed"!
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
Thank you so much for this post. My whole childhood I was taught that I was supposed to hold a job and make my own money. I spent that whole time thinking there was something wrong with me, I must be broken somehow. I had NO career ambition whatsoever and I couldn't understand why. Even now, whenever an unexpected expense comes up I feel so incredibly guilty that I can't make that burden less. I know I'm doing what I'm called to do, but our society is so poisoned that it's easy to forget sometimes.
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
I enjoyed this post. But women earning an income from home is in Proverbs 31 as well. The beautiful scripture you posted at the bottom is great however a few verses before this in vs. 24 it says "She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen." She earned an income from home where she would have made the linen garments as well as belts. With this money that she earned it is most likely that she was able to "consider a field and buy it and from her earning plant a vineyard" (vs.16). She's able to do this because as said in vs. 11 "the heart of her husband trusts in her".
I love that all of things she is able to do while taking care of her family and children. I always have pictured her looking into purchasing that field with children in tow....teaching them the ways of the Lord as they walk to view this field.
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
When my husband and I decided I should leave my well-paying career as an operating room nurse (I assisted surgeons/opthalmologists during eye surgeries) I had many people ask me why. The hours were awful and I had no energy left to take care of my family or home at the end of the day. My spiritual life was also suffering. I thought I could be a light to others at my work, but it was draining me so much that it wasn't benefiting anyone. It was hurting my family and I. I was good at my job and was even offered a promotion when I left so that I would stay, but I couldn't door anymore. It was also a long commute. We live in a rural area, and would travel four hours a day on certain days to outreach clinics. Other days it was at least two hours total. I missed my daughter and didn't feel right about putting her in daycare.

I remember feeling guilt when I first stayed at home, although I loved it. I love taking care of my husband and daughter and my home, and learning new things all the time. When others asked if I worked, I'd guiltily tell them no, I just stayed at home. I'm ashamed of how I used to answer..., who am I to feel guilty about doing what God has called me to do? Now I answer with confidence (not arrogance), that yes I do work, I work at home taking care of my family and home! I tell them I love it and it is real work, it's what God calls us to do! When I answer with confidence and show others I love following God's word, people don't seem to question it - they actually seem happy for me. Another mom who I befriended in church left her job a few months ago and said talking to me helped her, and now she's at home with her daughter and newborn son. So ladies, please never, ever feel ashamed of carrying out God's will just because society thinks it knows better. God always knows best.
2 replies · active 486 weeks ago
Lori

A lovely post!

Blessings to you as ever
Helen UK
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
I need to hear this often. My husband makes more than enough money , I stay at home with our seven children,and yet so often I am distracted by wanting to do something that LOOKS glamorous. I have a high calling as a wife,mother,and homemaker . I know nothing else satisfies and is just a disillusion if it causes me to lose sight of God`s will for me! Thanks for the reminder again!
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
Great post! I often get asked when I'm going to "get a real job". It gets old pretty fast. How would they feel if I asked when they were going to start "parenting their kids" or "taking care of their house"?
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
Hello, I will say that the idea of wanting to make money is in all of us, I believe it is a self preservation. But God has a different plan to provide. I think that book changed so many of us young women, It was like a life rope back in its day. Lets dust them off and lend them to this younger generation "The Way Home"
Thanks! Roxy
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
I used to make more money than my husband when I was employed as a nurse, but I haven't worked in 6 years now. Looking back I was so stressed. You can't have it all, a career, children, husband, and a good home life. Even now though I still feel guilty about not easing the burden for my husband. We only have 2 high schoolers left at home now and I must confess that I don't want to return to work, but I feel sooooo guilty for that.
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
Hi Ms. Lori!! I want to answer this in hopes of getting your wise feedback . Well I feel the need to earn money because my dad , who is an entrepreneur, feels the need to encourage me in to earning an income. He called me his richest child... A lot prophetic, but I love him for it. So he nettles me to do something from home while at my desk. And on the other hand our budget is stretched to the max and I love to shop!! I have an apron that says born to shop forced to cook lol as a tribute to my true values. Lol, j/k of course I'm trying to be more godly but this is an old mindset dying hard! And as a side I'm secretly and at times not so secretly envious of his babys mother who gets money consistently in the form of child support and I don't see that much money and I have more kids . So I'm still working out my convictions about money. I don't feel its wrong for me to earn it from home I'm just worried about my attitude cause I know it will increase my pride and negatively effect my submission to my husband. I'm not confidant that I will be as humble as I should and would expect better or different treatment from him if I earned a significant amount of money for the family. Hope this wasn't long and boring, just some things on my mind. Oh! And by the way a couple of months ago I got my feelings hurt by my beat friend when I was sharing the good news that she didn't have to go to work and leave her kids. Her husband couldn't make her so something that God said she didn't have to do like go to work instead of being a keeper at home. She basically called me foolish and that her husband would never allow her to quit her job. I thought she respected me or wanted what I had as far as being a content homemaker, but with responses like that I know there's a lack of respect for my choices.
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
Right and a manly man such as mine would feel the need to assert his authority if provoked by a thing such as me making more money. I experienced working outside the home bringing in plenty money, and guess what it did zip to improve our marriage. There was little appreciation or recognition for it, which won't be everyone's experience of course, and tetemptations abound for both of us as I felt unappreciated and he had idle time cause of me lifting his burden. So I have been malcontent but content at the same time to be home where I know what's going on at home and can be here for my children and husband on demand. Unlike my own Dear working mommy who had to divde her attentions. Although I missed her prescence coming home to no parents she had a way of being easy to talk to confide in, and support our interests. I feel it a easier to raise your expectations of your husband if you earn money and become demanding and diasaapointed with him. Just some random thoughts on the subject:)
Lori - Just a quick comment, haven't had the time to read all the posts. I am wondering how many are attending congregations that preach and teach the importance of women being in the home. Where I attend it is not mentioned even among the older women. It's as we are afraid of offending someone. Most of the women who attend are working outside the home. There is one younger woman staying at home with her children and we were talking one day and she apologized for not being able to contribute to the family income. I shared with her that she is living the plan that God has for all women and what a honor it is to be fulfilling the role God wants for her. It is sad when women are not getting the message or encouragement they need. If the older women, others attending church, and the leaders in the church don't provide this teaching we are left with what we see happening today. Thanks for your blog.
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
Our entire social system revolves around what people do to make money. One of the first things people ask when they meet you is "What do you do?" And by that, they don't mean your hobbies or your family life, but what you do to make money. People look to their jobs to fulfill them or make their lives meaningful because it's socially acceptable, and even encouraged. We have all grown up in a society that measures value and social standing by our profession, and that means that many look down on those who don't have a career. This kind of thinking is often internalized by women without them even realizing it, and thus they feel a need to do something that society values by getting a job that makes money. But while it's understandable, given our culture, that people would think this way, it is not Biblical. We must renew our minds with the word of God rather than allowing culture to dictate our values.
I have heard some women say that the verse the tells young women to be keepers of the home does not mean that they should not work because they say that they can do both...work and keep their homes, and they do. How would you advise such a woman that God's design is to have a woman home full-time?
2 replies · active 485 weeks ago
I really enjoyed this, It took me back to my beginnings becoming a Christian and discovering that God and his actual word HAD the real answers for my life as a women! I remember how natural it was to a new heart of flesh! Before then, after many years of staying home, I'd went back to school for the so called success and "happiness" found in a career But right away I no longer wanted to be away from my home to earn! My identity was no longer found in that, So I was able to change my working schedule to an as needed basis (on my terms) not neglecting first things! but even this I did this out of the choice to help to others, it was no longer out of a drive to be "successful" or to be a bread winner! God really put everything into proper perspective. Since then I've met many women who have told me they feel useless staying home and I've had the opportunity to share Gods will with them, hopefully planting a seed. Hs ways are foolish to a culture that doesnt know him, but there's no contentment without him, and hopefully a blessing in disguise, as it was for me.
I notice many affairs in the workplace involve a married businessman and his young, usually single, female client, coworker, secretary or subordinate. Why can't wives work for their husbands and eliminate their need to spend the entire day with some other woman?

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