Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Mothering Seen as a Kind of Death?


Here is something I found interesting that I recently read from a Christian site: A woman I greatly admire was out to eat with her grown kids. I complimented my friend about how great her kids have turned out. Suddenly, her face dropped, her expression changed, and I could see emptiness behind her eyes. "Yes my kids turned out great and I loved raising them. But, I lost myself in the process." The question then asked by the Christian author, "I paused and thought how do we fully embrace motherhood but not lose the other parts of us?"

Compare this to what Elizabeth Elliot wrote, "The routines of housework and of mothering may be seen as a kind of death, and it is appropriate that they should be, for they offer the chance, day after day, to lay down one’s life for others. Then they are no longer routines. By being done with love and offered up to God with praise, they are thereby hallowed as the vessels of the tabernacle were hallowed–not because they were different from other vessels in quality or function, but because they were offered to God. A mother’s part in sustaining the life of her children and making it pleasant and comfortable is no triviality. It calls for self-sacrifice and humility, but it is the route, as was the humiliation of Jesus, to glory."

Do you see the how completely opposite these two perspectives of motherhood are and how one is focused upon herself and the other one is focused on giving her life away for a greater cause than herself? "I lost myself in the process." What's inside of us to find besides who we are in Christ? Does God ever command for us to find ourselves? NO! He commands that we seek Him and His will for our lives which is to give ourselves away, deny ourselves, and the greatest of all is the servant of all. I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service {Romans 12:1}.

Yes, being a mother can be monotonous, exhausting and difficult at times. There were many times that I was sick and each moment of the day was hard for me but when I look back, God ALWAYS gave me the strength I needed for each moment of every day. Now, I have been blessed with four children who love Jesus and walk with Him. I gave my life to raising my children, caring for their every little need and teaching them about the Lord. I didn't have much time "for me" in all those years of raising children and being sick. I knew that raising obedient children who knew the Lord was an assignment given to the Lord for me so I cherished it.

Then there are all the good things about raising children: when they laugh out loud; running to me to hug and kiss me; rocking them through their sick nights as they slept on me; watching them grow up to become good adults who chose good instead of evil. What can the world offer that is better than these things? Nothing. 

He maketh the barren woman to keep house,
 and to be a joyful mother of children. 
Praise ye the LORD.
Psalm 113:9

***If you plan on vaccinating your children, here is a great post about gently detoxing your child after vaccines. "Better yet, by waiting until between 2 and 3 years old, you can significantly reduce the amount of vaccines your child receives because they don’t need boosters (because their immune systems functions on its own- see point #2), and more importantly the blood/brain barrier (BBB) will be developed. Teething produces histamines, which are a neurotransmitter that causes consistent BBB opening, giving vaccine neurotoxins direct access to baby’s brain. Most babies are done teething by the age of 3." Good information!!!

Comments (11)

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I am so glad you took the direction you did with this post. I thought the response would be another Christian woman seeking her rights to "me time". We are to die to ourselves and love lays down it's life for others. If we are faithful to do that, I know that God is fully able to keep us, or at least the parts of us that He deems fit to remain in us. Maybe losing "ourselves" when raising our children isn't really a bad thing, as the world would have us believe. Keep speaking the truth.
1 reply · active 482 weeks ago
I sure will, Holly, since I will be held accountable for every word that I write. I love God's ways since I have found out how much more superior they are to man's ways.
I am so glad you address these issues..Sometimes I don't even think of these things.I love being at home and the worries and runny noses and constant cleaning...to me are just apart of it.I don't feel like I'm being run ragged in anyway.I Love It! Am I superwoman....No,but boy sometimes being superwoman would help me out greatly! When I was a little girl I wanted to be a vet,well things have changed and my focus has changed AND I am ok with that! As far as immunizations,Everyone I know has there own thoughts on it and I don't judge.I know just starting out I was listening to EVERYONE and EVERYPLACE except the one holy place I really needed to seek. I have 7 children with our youngest one being 14 months old and not one tooth has broken through yet.People are constantly giving me there opinion,and I don't even ask for it!Oh you should get surgery..oh you should not do a thing..oh you should do this and that......People have praised me and bashed me.But as I get older I do get wiser in my faith....I pray for my homemaking,my husband,my children....I try my best EVERYDAY to see how I can bless my family and do something fun,memorable,warming,loving,etc. It's just what I do.I enjoy it.I am at peace.I am happy. I am content.I am not perfect and I am thankful.I am that mother that loves trying to carry on 5 different conversations while kneading 6 loaves of bread with my teenage daughters.Also knowing that I still have a living room full of toys to pick up before my husband comes home and steps all over them!(Aren't legos the worst to step on?)Not that he even cares about the toys,but In fact I care and want our home to be a place he can't wait to get to! I want it happy,clean,smelling like homemade pies,and an inviting place to relax...But there is still the schoolwork that needs grading,the barbie clothes that me and my daughter are sewing together....constantly,the bathroom floor needs scrubbed again from yet another potty training episode,etc. etc. etc.!!! It's not daunting work.It's wonderful,peaceful,and once I stopped listening to EVERYONE and started slowing down with God,my life and my family's life has changed dramatically.Now I am focused on my Lord's assignment and I know it's not about me.......
2 replies · active 482 weeks ago
What a wonderful, happy home you are blessed with! Thank you for sharing.
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Blessed Wife · 482 weeks ago

Many Blessings, what a blessing it is to have 7 children! My husband and I got married later in life and we now have 3 children. My husband had a vasectomy before we realized it wasn't our "choice" but God's decision on how many He desired to bless us with. We are older now and my husband had a reversal this past April. We both long for more children but now wait upon the Lord for His timing. I commend you for staying strong! And I'm sure those kiddos of yours do to! ;-)
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Blessed Wife · 482 weeks ago

This post was very good. I think for a lot of younger women out there who have started off with going to college, working in their career of choice or doing missions while waiting on the Lord to bring the man He has for them can then become difficult later in life and then they do feel like they have lost themselves. Their lives have drastically changed. I can understand this to a point. I got married at the age of 31. So during the time of waiting for my husband I went to school to be a Vet Tech. I trained horses as well as competed. I did a lot of missions work in different countries. I had....hobbies. Now years later as a stay at home, homeschooling mom there is a type of loss that I had felt. But it wasn't a loss of self (which most young women don't understand). It was having to understand the transition into a new season of life. Women, young and older, must understand this transition and how we must change with it and find out who He wants us to be during the new seasons of life that He brings us to and through. Our hobbies change. Our desires sometimes get "stuck" and held back in that old season by the enemy so we won't recognize the new desires that God has placed within us.
This Christmas for me was a new example that God has something to add to all I do. My husband said "it's hard for you to figure out what you want for Christmas because you don't have any hobbies". He knew me in my late teens and early twenties and the hobbies I had as a single woman. At first I was offended and saddened. But as we talked this through, in tears, he made me aware that it's ok to have a desire for a hobby. It is ok to have "alone" time. And he encouraged me to seek out what that hobby or desire is that I can do during the alone time or "me" time that I will have throughout the week. It may be volunteering at a stable, or scrapbooking....whatever it is, it is a new season therefore seeking what the Lord has for this specific area of life is always a must.
All this to say it's ok to have "me" time. As well as to say that when we look at the younger generations of young women we need to know how to direct them through these new seasons of life because a lot of them are getting married a little later in life and the transition process can be difficult to understand.
1 reply · active 482 weeks ago
If there is time for a woman's life to have a hobby while raising children without neglecting their primary responsibilities, it is fine to have one but they will still find them self in this hobby. They will only find ourselves in Christ and in Him alone since we are nothing without Him!
I think if Christian mothers would benefit to remember to let the joy of the Lord be their strength. There are days where my little girl makes messes, but it's almost always when she is trying to help out (spills in the kitchen, or pulling the plants out instead of the weeds in the garden last summer, etc). I am working on remembering to choose joy, to smile at her and be thankful for her willingness to try and all of the help she really does give me and love her. God chose me to be her mother and I long to be a good example to her. I am amazed at how much she can do at just five years old - she vacuums, can do a light cleaning in the bathroom, folds laundry, helps prepare meals... Not always the way I would have it done, but she tries hard and I love her dearly.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (ESV) - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The Lord's power within us is so much more important than not having any pain or difficulties in life. These verses are really a comfort to me.
1 reply · active 482 weeks ago
I love His grace too, Katie! It's good to never get upset with children when they make mistakes since we all make mistakes and they aren't sin but find joy in the moment as you have done. Your daughter will grow up to love homemaking and this is a priceless gift you are giving her.
I'm no longer stepping on match box cars! My husband told me that it would faster then I could imagine and he was right. Motherhood is hard. It's also the most fulfilling thing I've ever done in my life and I'm now in my mid 50's. I'm thankful for all the years I was home with my children. They loved it and we have a great time together now.
1 reply · active 482 weeks ago
I love it when you said ,"It's the most fulfilling thing I've ever done in my life." I feel that way every day. and oh my gosh do the days go by fast!!! I am not happy about that,but I know it is how It should be......and match box cars..ouch!....and barbie shoes,dinosaurs,etc.....lol

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