Thursday, December 31, 2015

Men Giving Up on Marriage


According to this article, men are giving up on marriage. With the divorce laws and feminist movement, many men just don't feel getting married is worth it. In past generations, men and women knew what their roles were and marriage was simple. The husband worked hard to provide for his family, while the wife stayed home and cared for the home and children. It's rare to find this anymore.

More women are in higher education and getting careers than men, thus taking the place of men and many men have no work and fail to get into higher educations institutions since the women are taking their place. The same is happening in the job market. More women are taking over the jobs that used to be held by men. "Women are 'tough and independent' and men don't think they're needed anymore. With feminism pushing them out of their traditional role of breadwinner, protector and provider - and divorce laws increasingly creating a dangerously precarious financial prospect for the men cut loose from marriage - men are simply no longer finding any benefit in it."

When I ask them why, the answer is always the same: women aren't women anymore. Feminism which teaches women to think of men as the enemy, has made women 'angry' and 'defensive,' though often unknowingly. Now the men have nowhere to go. It is precisely this dynamic - women good/men bad - that has destroyed the relationship between the sexes. Yes somehow, men are still to blame when love goes awry. Men are tired," Venker wrote. "Tired of being told there's something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren't happy, it's men's fault."

"It's the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature, they're forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need men's linear career goals - they need men to pick up the slack at the office - in order to live the balanced life they seek."

Wow! These are powerful words to ponder, women. In seeking to have equality and be like men, we've lost femininity and the romance we all so greatly hunger for. Feminism only looks at the short-sighted goals instead of pondering the long-term destruction for society, families and mostly children. 

We are Christian women who must go back to God's calling on our life and have nothing to do with feminism, but instead seek to be feminine. We must seek to please Him in all that we do. He calls women to be their husband's help meet, to submit to and obey them. He calls us to love and please our husbands and to fulfill their sexual needs. He calls men to provide for their families. The farther we get away from these roles, the worse every one's life becomes, especially the children. Go back to the biblical path and reap the bountiful fruit of doing life God's way. Go back to the old paths; to the good way. You will never find rest for your souls any other way.

Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, 
and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, 
and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. 
Jeremiah 6:16

***Why Your Family is So Important. "The American Psychological Association has taken issue with the kind of dolls that are being created for our daughters. Where once they were give baby dolls and dolls that they could role play with, now they are being given dolls with pouty lips and fishnet and high heel boots and parents must not understand this; that what a girl plays with a doll is just practice for what she will become when she is older."

Comments (29)

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What about all the jobs that men don't seem to choose as often as women: nurse, teacher, social worker, etc. Do you think if all the women stayed home the men would step up in these careers, sort of like a reverse Rosie the Riveter?
1 reply · active 482 weeks ago
Excellent article! And many men aren't getting married anymore because women just move in with their boyfriends. This happened to someone in my family - - 18 years later she still lives with him and they are not married, although he promised. And to my disgust, there are friends of the family who act so excited when their daughters move in with their boyfriend, like it's a big step. Yes, it's a big step towards mediocrity in standards and destruction.
2 replies · active 369 weeks ago
For my experience in life and with friends and family men chose not to marry for a variety of reasons. But one of the biggest reasons they don't marry for fear of being taken to cleaners if there is a divorce. In the men's chat room, Ken asked the question about the word divorce. In my marriage whenever my wife has gotten mad at me she has threatened divorce several times over the years. It's basically a threat with no real meaning to it. But for me divorce is NOT an option. It's a cope out, and an easy way for people to think divorce will make there problems go away. Actually divorce is only when the real fighting begins.

Men are realizing in this feministic society that woman have all the control. It's sad but true.
1 reply · active 369 weeks ago
The question to ask as well is, what does a wife bring to the marriage? Men can do everything in the home a female can. So what does a wife bring? When women start answering that honestly and then doing those things in quiet submission with love toward their husband while the older women teach these things things could turn around. Using strawman arguements only prove women's rationalizations and justifications.

For the same reasons men are not marrying, men are staying married and giving up on their marriage.

Lori's feministic behavior in her past is what many men face their entire marriage. Mine is an example. My wife will tell you she is submissive when infact she couldnt be closer to unsubmissiveness. Along with disrespect and you'll find a man who has given up after years of this abuse. You might even think he has become nicer, or all of a sudden he now gets it. I am telling you he is just resigned himself to a life of being the submissive one and just goes along to get along.
4 replies · active 357 weeks ago
It's really true. When men can use women for sexual purposes at any time outside of marriage (discouraging marriage in the first place) and marriage has severe penalties (financial ruin in the form of child support in case of a divorce), you've just presented men with a comprehensive reason NOT to get married. Many of the men in my high school class are not married. (We're all 35 years old now.) Why should they? Women truly hold the keys to virtue in any society. When women are virtuous, men will follow. When women are loose and wanton, men will follow their lead.

Happy New Year, Lori! Blog on! :)
1 reply · active 369 weeks ago
Hi Lori,

I don't think men give up marriage because women these days work and I think most men (at least men I know) have no problem with that. My wife also works and she is a wonderful and loving wife and mother to me. In my knowledge, especially from 'red pill' group, men are giving up marriage because of the consequence if relationship doesn't work. Most men will not only lose their belongings, but they will also lose the chance to spend time with their kids.

At least that's my opinion
1 reply · active 482 weeks ago
What I am about to say may be confusing to some.or at the very least controversial. I agree with Michael Pearl other issue of marriage. Let me explain,
Couple one: Began living together when they were unsaved, then one or both become saved but now there is a problem, do they cease living with the other half or continue? If only one becomes saved then I believe the believing half should vow before their church that they recognise God is in charge of their relationship, And they wish to establish a covenant marriage and continue to live in this way, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide them and Living in complete submission to God and (if it is the female) to their spouse, recognising they are never to depart etc.
In my opinion, this would be a viable marriage. Because God has been put in His rightful place, and the relationship. Would not be based on feeling etc. but careful guidance by the Holy Spirit and the word of God. The same would apply to a couple who both became saved. This does not involve a piece of paper or recognition from the godless state.
And of course, couple 2,
Your average, run of the mill, sealed on paper and approved by the godless state, who is at e ready to capatalise on your divorce, should you choose to have one, (I am against divorce) this is not just known as a covenant marriage, but now it is also known as a contract. Because the government couldn't keep its sticky fingers out of Gods business and they see it as something that can be broken. Marriage has NOTHING to do with a piece of paper or the government. It is a couples willingness to acknowledge God is the head of their union, and are willing to publicly declare it before family and friends and subsequently live in submission to the Lords direction and will.
So when I hear the phrase "living in sin" I find it to be not just a blanket statement. But offensive. If a couple is living together without that "piece of paper" my next question would be, did they take he above steps that couple A took,and are living it out? And it is confirmed to be so by those closest to them? If the answer is no, then yes, they are living in sin and need to Put God publicly in His rightful place. But to say a couple is wrong for living together without establishing by what standard they are living together is a little judgemental. Joseph and Mary did not go to the state to seal their marriage. That would of meant going to the Roman government. Instead they would of gone to the rabbi and made their vows before their family at least. No piece of paper required. Just a public acknowledgement which they would of been expected to keep.
I hope I explained myself clearly. God bless Lori!
2 replies · active 482 weeks ago
I once saw a sign advertising a divorce for $49. Divorce, once hard to obtain and cost one partner heavily, cost less than a tank of gas at the time. Attitudes towards divorce changed with the times, being treated as a cure all. From what I've read about millennial generation, they are not afraid of marriage. When they do get married, they plan on staying married, determined not to repeat the broken homes they grew up in. The data shows that divorce doesn't benefit anyone, with the children being the biggest losers. We now have a generation whom 50% of them grew up in broken homes.

Divorce rates have plateaued, I think they will fall. I think this generation will struggle with how to stay married, which we need prepared to teach.
I was previously married. And my ex-husband was under employed and carried a lot of debt with him and created more debt while we were married under my name. With the constant threat of eviction and bill collectors calling (I was in debt to about 25K including a car and many belongings and just silly stuff that he used my name for), i had to pick up a second job. i was never home, couldn't keep up with the housework and absolutely became bitter and frustrated in our relationship because he would not seek to improve our situation. after many many 16 hour days and coming home to chaos i shut down. i felt like a slave and not a partner in a marriage. he began verbally abusing me and it escalated to physical abuse. i grew terrified for my daughter and for my dogs. i filed for divorce and am still working to pay off the debt he accumulated in my name. i honestly have no regrets for divorcing him. i lost my church and many friends who thought i should stand by him. but i have a brain injury which causes short term memory loss, as well as excruciating migraines and a permanently damaged nerve in my ear because of a beating he gave me. im actually shaking just writing this comment.
i do have a boyfriend now (we dont live together though) who understands that i have been married before and who is nothing but patient and loving. i do believe we will get married someday and i will be thrilled to be his wife. : ) we have discussed it and i will definitely not work full time after we get married and I will only continue to do catering part time so that I can finish paying off debt that i have now and once that is done, i will stay home!
maybe i do wish things had gone differently for my marriage, but i consider the man who is my boyfriend to be who needed to be brought into my life to be my protector and my guidance. he helped me through months of therapy and he also loves to cook (something i struggle with haha) and also supports my dreams and goals. (when i stay home full time, i'd like to "work" in animal rescue).
my exhusband wasn't willing to change to be my protector. he was a self-server and I think i should have listened to my heart instead of my brain when we were married; that it was wrong and i should walk away.
Tim Shepard's avatar

Tim Shepard · 436 weeks ago

You have to realize that there is nothing Christian about the Government Sanctioned "Marriage Contracts" that are being peddled now. They are nothing but tools for Lawyers and judges to rob and steal from (mostly) men. Men are slowly learing that marriage is nothing good for them, and reacting by staying away from the fraud.
1 reply · active 436 weeks ago
Im a 55 year old man. I work hard have a family of two children. Been married for 20 years this September. I'm very depressed and discouraged with my marriage. My wife is a stay at home mom and home schools our 2 children. Very commendable. However, she is a Christian wife and I'm Christian too. She has a very contoling personality and if she doesn't get what she wants she throw a fit that scares me and my children. There is NOT an aspect in my life that can control without my wife's permission. This weekend she went on a women's Christian retreat. I took care of the children. Had my son's best friend over for the weekend. I cooked 4 meals and worked in the yard for 2 long days. The lawnmower finally died son went to Sam's and picked up a new mower. I started on a dry riverbed in one of our gardens. I didn't finish by the time my wife came home Sunday afternoon. She got home and instantly had a fit because it didn't consult her on the lawnmower purchase and made me pick up every stone in the riverbed and put back in the truck and demanded that I rerun all the garden supplies to the store. While I was putting all the yard supplies back she played in the lounge chair and asked me "what make you think the way you think?" Yes, ladies and gents. I lost it and said thinks I should have not have uttered from my mouth. You see in our marriage my wife has known how to use her mouth to push me past my limit. Then she act all offended about my response. She dislocated my jaw twice and belittles me and my son in front of other people. I'm dealing with great depression because I know that I can't go on living like this NO MORE! It's effected my children. My wife never cleans the house and never darkens the food store. My children ask me to bring food home because they are hungry. We have to hide the food because it rages her if food is purchased without her blessing. So my car is a rolling grocery store.
Thus is just a small insight of my marriage. Tell me how do I keep going the way the bible says to keep going?
I've read all the post and felt like reality wasn't being talked about.
I do agree with the article and agree with her insight on feminism. Rust me life has a happy medium. It's not feminism nor is Sharia law.
2 replies · active 369 weeks ago
Embracing Reality's avatar

Embracing Reality · 399 weeks ago

It seems the culture has had far more influence on the church than the the other way around, the church no longer corrects or holds women accountable. Thats only for men. Biblically sexual desire is what compels a man to marry. I honestly believe that single young "Christian" women have more sexual opportunities and take them more than their male counterparts. After a decade (or more) of college, career and casual sex these women want good men to "man-up" and pay a premium for something they gave away to 'hawt' bad boys for free.

Christian women, your reputation:

When you're young and single you're sexually available to a number of men. When you tire of that you want a hard working, loyal chump to be the last man in line of your sexual partners who won't mind being frequently denied sex in your marriage. As a wife you may also be demanding, manipulative, selfish, disrespectful.

Why would any decent man want that? Why?
My mom gained 90 lbs after marrying my dad. My wife gained 40 lbs the first year of our marriage. Some women chop their hair in half the first year of getting married. Some women want $80k vehicles every several yrs and $1 million houses ($2 mil after interest and another mil after property taxes over 30 yrs). American women are bossier than other countries, more expensive, more overweight, more likely to file for divorce and leave husbands broke or requires them to work 60 hr weeks, so they're not helpmates (they make guy's like harder). If wife has college degree and there is a divorce, 90% of time wife is the one filing. She wants kids, then files for divorce when kids turn 18 even if man is fit, makes good money, and picks up kids from soccer practice. If the lady starts making more money than man, then she often files for divorce. As my best friend said to me the day before my wedding, "are you marrying a wife or a boss?" I said "I'm marrying a boss." So it's not just the expense of divorce, men know if they get married she'll likely get fat and he will get a new boss.
As a woman, how exactly does marriage benefit me? I'm not trying to argue, it's my honest response. I have a degree and a salary and I'm being called to give that up to take care and clean up after someone all while letting him lord me in any way he pleases. I have my own apartment, paid off car, retirement plan, health insurance etc and I'm being told that giving all if that up is more beneficial for a woman than a man. I'm really sorry but I'm honestly looking for answers to this. I want to be convinced of how marriage will be financially better for me if it's going to financially ruin men.

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