Friday, December 4, 2015

Living Without the Two Income/Daycare Frenzy


His wife was very intelligent and was pursuing a career until she got married. Then she just wanted to be a stay-at-home wife and mom. They lived in a part of town called the "ghetto" since it is the cheaper area of town. It is the place people live as their first home while saving money to get a bigger home or empty nesters who decide to downsize. The homes up the road from them are enormous and expensive; they take two incomes to afford. There are "plenty of nannies and babysitters" in these homes. His wife has felt out of place and judged by others but her husband loves that she wants to be home with his children. 

Most young couples are told that if they want to afford a home, they must both work. Amy Dacyczyn didn't believe this. She wanted a large family with a large home but wanted to be home full-time with her family. "Before the fever gripped me, I had a very normal and healthy love for spending. The change occurred when I got married and began to pursue my dream. I had always wanted a large family and a rural pre-1900 New England farmhouse {with attached barn}. I had a crazy notion that I could have both without the two-income/daycare frenzy that has become the norm for the modern American family." She had heard the lies that a family needed two incomes or they could not afford a home or having more than two children. She didn't believe the lies and went out to prove that they were false. "Saving money, rather than earning money, became the means to my goal."

"In 1989, we realized our dream. Our family {then it was four children; now, with the advent of twins two years later, it's six} moved into our rural pre-1900 New England farmhouse {with attached barn}."  Their average income was less than $30,000 per year.  They saved $49,000 in less than seven years, made large purchases like cars and such for a total of $38,000 and were completely debt free!

Did they have to sacrifice a lot of pleasures to be able to do this? Yes, but it is SO worth it to be able to be home with your children and have lots of them. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end {Ephesians 3:21}. Since God wants mothers home with their children, He will provide a way for them to do this for He tells us that His commands are not burdensome. If He is the God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and everything else, He can provide for you to be home. {Although it may not be a large New England farmhouse with an attached barn, depending on which area in the country you live in.}

It will take a lot of work and sacrifice on your part but will be well worth the effort. You can even make a game out of it like the Dacyczyn's did. They knew what their goals were and worked hard to attain them. You can too! {You may think some of the ways they used to save money were a bit too extreme but they certainly accomplished their goals!} You don't want nannies and babysitters raising your children while you're stuck in the two income/daycare frenzy since the Lord has given you the job of raising your children and being home with them. Begin listening to the Lord and what He wants for you instead of the lies of our culture.

I have a copy of The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn that I am going to give away to one of you. All you need to do is to leave a comment about one way you save money. I will announce the winner on next Friday's post! 

But godliness with contentment is great gain...
If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content.
1 Timothy 6:6, 8

Comments (128)

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This will probably sound silly but the way I save money is to simply not spend it! I really have to think twice about everything that I purchase...before I was married with a family I would just buy whatever I needed or wanted, and now when I end up NOT buying that item, I tuck away what I would have spent and save that way.

I also use our tax return for our homeschool books and supplies...NO exceptions.

And as for Christmas, we usually get money from our parents instead of gifts....and that gets tucked away for us to use for gifts for the next Christmas. My grandma had a habit of "squirreling" away money, and I think we can learn a lot from past generations about saving and living debt free. Remember, our grandparents and great grandparents didn't have the deceiving lure of credit cards...so they had to figure out other ways of affording things.
3 replies · active 486 weeks ago
HappyHomemaker's avatar

HappyHomemaker · 486 weeks ago

I would love to win this! I guess the best thing I do, and I don't know if this is saving money really, but we have a certain amount automatically sent to a separate checking account each paycheck for Christmas and another for bills that come due only once or twice a year.

This is one area that I struggle in, especially now that our only son is getting ready to graduate. It seems like when we think we are going to get a little in savings, something tears up, and thus my thoughts go to "if you were working, things wouldn't be so tight" and "do you really need to be home now that my son is getting ready to graduate, should I look for a job once he finishes school". I know that I am happy at home and I will stay here as long as the hubby says it's ok. I have worked before and I know how hard it is to not put a job before my family, I have this silly trait where I don't want to say no to anyone and never want anyone upset with me (I am working on it, and must say that I have gotten better). There are times I feel like what I do doesn't really make a difference, but one day my husband was talking to some friends about raising children. He told them that we all have jobs (now he was talking about giving children responsibility, but it warmed my heart anyway). He said that his job is to go to work, my job is to take care of the house, cook, clean ect... and our sons is to help out in whatever way we feel necessary. It really brightened my mood to know that he considers what I do a job and that he doesn't think I just sit around all day eating bon bons. I LOVE my job and just have to keep reminding myself that I am where God wants me!
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
Hi Lori! I have a question. What would you say to a young woman who has no desire to marry or have children. She has never felt that those things are what God has called her to do. She is certain the she would not make a good wife or mother. She feels that she is much better suited to be in the workforce and has a desire to do that. Is it wrong for her to pursue a career over a family if that's what she wants to and feels called to do? She can't really be neglecting her family by working if she doesn't have one.
5 replies · active 486 weeks ago
I save money in a few ways. I buy most of our home needs and all of our clothing second hand. During warm weather, I use our clothes line instead of the dryer to save energy costs. Our family too uses a portion of our tax refund to purchase homeschool materials. We also limit the number of individual gifts at Christmas and birthdays to one and give experiences instead.This works wonderful for us. :)
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
Instead of using sandwich bags for sandwiches, lunches and snacks, we use reusable containers. We take our lunch to work 90% of the time instead of going out to eat. I really want to be able to quit my job and stay home. Help me pray my husband will see that that is how God wants it to be. Thank you.
4 replies · active 486 weeks ago
One way I've saved money is by selling good used kids clothes and shoes online in garage sale sites , then taking that money and saving it by putting it aside until I get enough to buy new shoes for the kids. Or I check garage sale sites and can sometimes find gently used shoes or clothes. I recently sold enough items that we weren't using to save up $50 so I can buy my son new shoes. ( I don't normally have extra money to buy a nice new pair of shoes so I had to pray and get a little creative to be able to do it:)
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
Patricia Barber's avatar

Patricia Barber · 486 weeks ago

One way I save money is by making homemade laundry detergent and hang
drying most of our clothes. There is such a great feeling of accomplishment knowing I am
helping my husband out by being careful in how I spend his hard earned money!
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
One of the biggest ways we save money is by gardening. A lot of folks garden, but there are ways to save money even in the garden itself. Purchasing plants can add up quickly. I plant our garden all from seeds which are much cheaper. I start tomatoes, peppers, eggplants, and more inside several weeks before outside planting times. We do not have any fancy grow lights or systems. I just spread a small blue tarp out on the floor of our sunniest south facing room and start flats spread out on the floor. My husband built simple wood boxes and covered them with widnows that were given to us. On warmer sunny days, I take the plants outside and set them in there. (This is for windy cold OH. When we lived in GA we did not need protection boxes. I could start plants indoors and just set them out on the grass on warmer days.) We not only save money starting our own plants, but I usually have extra to sell or give away. Another way we save in gardening is to make constant use of our garden space. The very day we dug our potatoes, I replanted the area with carrots, kohlrabi or beets. We start as early in the spring as possible and keep the garden as long as possible. - Despite it being December in OH and a heavy frost on the ground this morning, we still have carrots and spinach in the garden. We try to grow enough stuff to eat from our garden year round. In October, I picked 30 gallons of tomatoes before the first frost. It is December and we still have tomatoes. We have enough green ones still gradually turning red that will will probably have "garage ripened" tomatoes until January. I freeze, can, and dehydrate many vegetables for winter use. We also grow things such as dried beans and butternut squash the keeps for months. In those simple wood box cold frames my husband built, we keep spinach and corn salad growing year round, despite temperatures going to 7 below zero last year. We eat as much as possible from our garden and things we can't grow such as eggs, we try to trade garden vegetables for them. Also, I try to sell enough vegetables to pay for seeds, potting soil and any other garden expense so that our garden cost us nothing except time.
2 replies · active 486 weeks ago
I save money by buying produce and meat in bulk from where restaurants buy their food, including the bulk section at our state farmers market. I can, dehydrate, and freeze the food. After winter, I cut off the legs of my youngest daughter's pjs so she can wear them for summer. I sew things for my family and the home, using coupons to buy fabric. I also homeschool my children instead of sending them to Christian private school.
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
God blessed me with a husband who has such a low time preference and is really dedicated to saving for the inevitable rainy days. We save money by not owning smart phones and by rarely going out to restaurants. We also do not get caught up in purchasing all the items babies and toddlers "need".
2 replies · active 486 weeks ago
After 27 years I guess I could write a book. We are HUGE do it your selfers. It is second nature to us. Only this morning- went around turning off lights and put on a sweater. Hung laundry on the line (and yes it was cool). Trimmed up new fruit trees. Just staying home today doing nothing but tending my nest and wrapping Christmas gifts (some I made). Should my name be drawn please give my copy to Heather. Angela
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
My husband of 36 years and I , have a huge garden and I can and freeze. We also heat with wood only (We live in Kansas) in our log cabin. I am a mentor mother to 4 ladies at our church, and encourage them to keep staying at home. What God commands in Scripture, HE always provides a way!
Becky G.
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
Staying at home saves a lot of money! Since leaving my job to be at home, we no longer have to pay for daycare. Our gas bill for my car, along with the wear and tear, has decreased tremendously since I was driving so much. Also, we rarely eat out. I cook from scratch using healthier ingredients, many from our garden, so that saves money. Also, since eating better, we don't seem to come down with as many colds and flu bugs as before. I don't buy cups of gourmet coffee at the coffee shops, I make healthier versions at home. We raise our own grass-fed beef and ducks for meat. I used to get my hair professionally colored and highlighted, but now I do that at home which saves a lot! My husband and I were recently blessed by being able to purchase some land adjacent to ours for a good price which has a house in good shape. We have been cleaning and painting and have a rentor moving in next month, so that rent money will help too in addition to the other house we rent out. I buy many of our clothes and things used, I just try and be careful about it. I make a lot of my own cleaning supplies. We pay for things in cash when we can and pay off any bills right away to avoid interest to keep our credit score high. My husband has always been good with money, which is something I want to keep improving on. He's seven years older than me, and we married when I was twenty. Before I even met him, he made some wise and careful investments that are still blessing us today. I am so thankful for him, he works so hard and is such a good husband and father, but most of all to God. He gives and takes away as He sees fit, and I know all good things come from Him! And I've learned so much from this blog... the biblical advice on money has really helped, along with Laine's letters and your recipes (my husband's favorite way to eat potatoes is your spicy oven fries, so we eat them a lot! They're inexpensive, easy and delicious!)
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
Hi Lori! I would love to win! My husband helps me stay home by riding his bicycle or walking to work. He has done this since 2010. This way we only need to pay for gas, insurance and maintenance for one vehicle. Only having one vehicle helps us save money so I can stay home with our three children, which is very important to us. At times the logistics and weather have been a hassle. But my husband is so strong and manly! He actually likes to walk in the rain or snow here in the midwest. It makes him feel like he is on a little adventure, especially since he works in an office. I am so proud of him. He just got offered a new job across town. We are in the process of packing up and moving our family. He wants to be closer to his new employer so he can continue to walk or ride to work. I am so proud of him!
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
We garden, can, freeze, and fill our freezer with locally raised beef and pork. We rarely eat out and I cook mostly from scratch. Stay away from the stores, any kind of stores. Whenever you walk into a store you will be spending. Always make sure you really need to walk in there. The merchandizers are masters at getting your money. Even if you go in for one or two things, they have it all set up to entice you with numerous other purchases. That also goes for internet shopping. The same thing goes on. As soon as you go to a place to look for a possible purchase, there you are being enticed to buy, buy, buy.
Re purposing is also a great way to save. My husband is good at reusing things. Stop and think about years ago not having landfills. Why is that? Because they didn't have the waste like goes on now. So sad.
I love this post Lori. Part of the reason I'm leaving a comment is to follow the others.
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
I learned how to sew and now I'm able to fix my husband's work clothes rather than throwing them out and buying new ones. It always seemed so silly to me to throw away a perfectly good pair of pants because I couldn't fix a torn seam. So one day I learned and it's amazing how much a simple little thing like that saves.
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
There have been many ways I have saved money. Raising our deductible for auto and home insurance. Budget billing for electric, budgeting, homemade laundry detergent and household cleaners etc. but one of my biggest budget savers has been weekly meal planning for dinners. I have a list of meals we like in a sheet protector. My husband then takes a dry erase marker and marks the meals he wants to eat the coming week and that list helps me plan grocery shopping. This saves me from multiple runs to the store for missing ingredients and saves feom food going to waste in cupboards.
2 replies · active 486 weeks ago
we don't eat out!
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
To save money we do several things. We keep a garden with our favorite herbs and veggies, we keep Christmas spending to a bare minimum and give more hand-made thoughtful gifts, we stopped spending money on entertainment by cutting cable and internet, we eat out only on very special occasions, and rent an inexpensive movie for a date night in (instead of date nights out). We also buy well made clothing brands on clearance during the off season, and are able to keep our clothes for a long time, so they don't wear out. That's kept our clothing spending to a bare minimum. I also borrowed all my maternity clothes from a family member and a friend so I didn't have to purchase any for my pregnancy last year.
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
I love this! God absolutely always makes a way for his will! I am currently in that working mom/ daycare frenzy, but not for much longer! My hubby is away at basic training and is becoming a full time soldier so I can be able to fulfill my dream of staying home full time with our 2 year old. I am beyond thankful and blessed! Thanks for the encouragement and motivation as always. :)
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
carolin martens's avatar

carolin martens · 486 weeks ago

I am a caregiver to small children and encourage my girls to stay home with their children when they get older. It is heartbreaking to see what these children go through, and how would the mothers really feel if they knew their children call me mom all day long. I work out of my home to support my 3 girls, but really watch every penny to pay the bills. My biggest way to save money is doing laundry with the Amish plunger. Only use the washing machine to rinse a bit, then use that water to clean again. I have ordered 2 JOI Lanterns that run on a tea light and they have cut my last bill by $75.00 dollars. I love them. We do not eat out, cook from scratch, buy second hand, and my girls tell me they love our home and lifestyle. They get it, and I am so proud of that accomplishment, that you can be happy with a simple lifestyle.
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
Love this post Lori! :) You dont' need to put me in the draw for the book...as I already own it! :) Have a great weekend!
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
This may sound odd as a way to always have plenty, but we give a lot to others. We tithe, and we give often to others as God leads us. In this way, we have never gone without. A lot of people shop thrift stores, but I shop clearance racks in nicer stores. I have been able to purchase clothing that has stayed in excellent condition to hand down to multiple children. I sell at consignment sales. We do not have a lot of clutter in our home and as soon as we do not need something, we either give it away or sell it.
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago

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