Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Are All Men Buffoons?


Yes, according to most cartoons and television shows. I was reading Berestain Bears to my grandchildren and noticed that Papa Bear is always doing something stupid and Mama Bear, the smart and reasonable one, fixes him and the family. I loved watching The Flintstones when I was growing up. Fred and Barney were buffoons but their wives were the smart and intelligent ones on the show. 

The majority of programs when I was growing up were like these shows as they are today. No wonder, we women, think we know it all and we have to set our husbands straight. {As you can see in the above picture, all the family needed to have their manners set straight by Mama Bear, including Papa Bear. Mama Bear set up the manners and consequences, then as soon as Papa Bear blew it, he had to dust the whole house.} Think of these shows compared to Father Knows Best! Oh, how far we have fallen.

As you can see, we were all raised thinking women were better than men if you watched cartoons or television shows growing up. When we get married, we think we need to set them straight since we are smarter. Isn't it amazing that Satan can even use cartoons to set little girls up for having bad marriages? Little boys are raised to think that women are smarter, therefore, they need to allow their wives to lead the home because 'if mama ain't happy, nobody's happy.'

I remember Debi Pearl saying that right after she was married, before they even consummated their marriage, they went shopping for some hamburger meat. Michael picked out an expensive one and she told him she thought it was too expensive. He gave her a look that said something like, "And I married you to tell me what to do?" She said that after that, she never tried to run his life.

I have had many women tell me that they are more "spiritual" than their husbands. They read their Bibles more and go to more Bible studies so in their minds, they are more spiritual. However, who acts more like Jesus? Which spouse is uncritical, loving, generous, and more accepting of others? The fruit of one's life says a lot more about who is more "spiritual" than time spent reading the Word and going to Bible studies. {Although I think it is VERY important to spend time daily in God's Word, as you know!}

We must be very careful about treating our husbands without respect as if we are better than them. Just our critical, manipulating, and especially our prideful thoughts of thinking we are better than them shows us we are definitely NOT! It's so much easier to see other's faults instead of our own. I think it's much safer to not say or think you are better than your husband in anything and simply love, respect, submit to and obey him instead. Let God work out all the kinks.

For through the grace given to me I say to everyone
 among you not to think more highly of himself 
than he ought to think; 
but to think so as to have sound judgment,
 as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.
Romans 12:3

Comments (31)

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Thank you for this! I was watching "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House" this weekend with my husband. We weren't very far into the movie until I asked him if he wouldn't mind if we took it out. "Why?" he asked. You can imagine his pleasure when I told him I was very uncomfortable with how Cary Grant's character was portrayed and the general disrespect for him in his home. (Not only were his children disrespectful, and he seemed to be somewhat bumbling around his own home, but his wife had decided that from now on he would have his socks stored in a basket on a shelf in a very crowded closet so that she might have space in the drawers for her things. :/) This is the very same movie I had sat laughing over a year ago.... Had the movie changed??? NO.... But after reading Debi Pearl's books and gleaning the wisdom from your blog and others, I HAD CHANGED. Thank you! P.S.- No, I am not a prude. I love to laugh, but there are things that I once found joy in that are now distasteful to me.... and my husband was so very pleased when I respected him in this way. (And yes! If he would have said "Let the movie play" I would have done just that. :))
3 replies · active 528 weeks ago
When I was a preschool teacher we did not have any Berenstain Bears books because they always portray Papa Bear as a dope and we didn't want to give our little kiddos the idea that dads are dumb. They get it enough at home as it is, in most cases.
2 replies · active 527 weeks ago
Just to present a more positive memory; I remember some of my favorite shows (Andy Griffith, Leave it to Beaver, & even the Beverly Hillbillies) where the leading males were presented as wise, yet gentle & kind leaders. I don't have t.v. now but hopefully there are still some good shows & books for children. I pretty much stick to Bible stories when I take time to read to my grandchildren. Love & prayers, in jesus, Cynthia
1 reply · active 528 weeks ago
Lady Virtue's avatar

Lady Virtue · 528 weeks ago

I have to echo the comment from Shelah above. As the Lord has slowly matured me (admittedly, I've not always been cooperative), He has purged much entertainment from my life. It is far more influential that I previously realized, and not in a godly way.

Lori, thank you for posting this. It humbled me to read it, rightfully and deservedly so. I have been guilty of believing myself to be more spiritually mature and all around smarter than my husband. I thank God that he puts up with me; some days aren't so easy!
1 reply · active 528 weeks ago
This makes me sad. I'm raising a little boy who I want to grow up to be a strong, smart, kind, man. Just about any commercial you see now shows dads as being stupid, or as "one of the kids". When wives say "I have four kids, five if you count my husband!" it makes me SO mad! I don't want my son growing up in a society that devalues him.
1 reply · active 528 weeks ago
It is interesting— for my freshman English class in college, I wrote my final paper about the decline of how men (particularly fathers) are portrayed in the media, specifically in family shows like sitcoms. When you look back at shows like Leave it to Beaver and The Brady Bunch, the dad is a wise figure who instructs the children and is the leader of his home (on the most part). It is so sad to see that the younger generations of boys may be taught that they are going to grow up to be a "buffoon" as you say. We need to give them men who are good Christian role models to look up to.
1 reply · active 528 weeks ago
Unfortunately, men are portrayed even worse in some of the commercials today, than in many of the TV shows. Much of this I believe is linked to the early roots of feminism in the 1960's.
I agree with Patrick. Nice name, by the way.

I love your take on it, Lori. Dalrock wrote about it as well, though in a less charitable way on his "Women are innately good" post from 2012. You are both very much on point. In fact, I think you actually commented on that post.

Lori you are one of a handful of trustworthy women in Christ who seek to restore order to the mess that churchian teaching and counseling has done to Christian couples.

While I truly believe that most Titus 2 women are either dead, have been abducted by aliens, or are being silenced by the F.l...and that there are zero Proverbs 31 women living today, I give you a nod on being faithful to the Titus 2 call.

I was thinking... about the Bill Cosby mess and the first Bill Cosby show. What do you think of his portrayal as a Father? I think that he commanded a great deal of respect from the children and was definitely respected as an authority figure among his peers and his adult friends.

However, as I think back, I would be inclined to say even though he did supplicate to Claire, she, unlike most women (on TV and in real life) didn't usurp or attempt to covertly emasculate him. This was partly due to the fact that he had no issues being self-deprecating as, his humor made him attractive, outside of the physical sense - which I'd have to say he wasn't considered so by most women.

So on one hand, I think it's okay if the kids and moms laugh at Dad, if Dad is laughing along. But when the rubber meets the road, respect had surely better be given unconditionally, or there will (should) be consequence. This is what is lacking in the narrative of western society, and has a stronghold on Christian families and church teaching.

The challenge to assert godly (Biblically ordained) leadership and frame is Sisyphean indeed, because not only aren't the women trying to hear it, their Pastor (if he is of the Driscollean ethic) isn't either.

And no single man, who seeks to be a devout godly leader wants to be accused of "abuse" just because he wants his household to be one that has a mission to be obedient to the Word?

Papa Berenstain (devout godly head of household) bangs on the table, and demands that his family be orderly and respectful according to the word = ABUSE.
1 reply · active 528 weeks ago
Your right never thought of it but many shows make men look like screw ups. Thanks for sharing such a thought provoking post!
I agree whole heartedly with this post. I have often wondered why men on tv are portrayed as such baffoons. Always bothered me so I don't typically watch such shows. If I watch tv at all I watch my all time favorite The Waltons or Little House on the Prairie of Father Knows Best or Leave it to Beaver etc. I feel that those old classics show more Biblical roles of men and women, The women take care of the home and are supportive yet submissive to their husband and the husband is the sole provider for the family and the leader and role model. They each have strong character yet within their God ordained roles.
This has been a pet peeve of mine for a long time. We don't have a tv, but sometimes when we're listening to the radio for the news I'll point out to my husband how stupid the men in commercials are made to be. My mom always held my dad up to my sisters and I. I'm trying to do the same with my children and my husband. In our home "father knows best" and we like it that way.
Lived my entire life under this regime. Born in 1971.

Husband= stupid, unsophisticated. bumbling, crotch-scratching, cretin.
Wife=intelligent, brilliant, wise, morally superior, there to teach the husband and keep him from accidentally killing himself from stupidity.

This is the script of every movie, TV show, and commercial for as long as I can remember. I am trying to teach my sons differently. But with no model, I have to reach WAY back.
I've always thought it's possible in a show or book, etc, to have a character who's a blunderer without acting like men are all that way: the best example is Maxwell Smart of *Get Smart* ! Being the type of show it was - intentionally just absurd- everyone looks a bit silly, but Max alone is made to look like he's incompetent. The other men who appear a lot- the Chief, Agent 13, HYMI the robot, even the not-too-bright secretary, aren't made out that way.
Excellent post. And convicting too. I think my generation (in my 30's) has definitely been raised under the impression that women are essentially "better" than men. It's all part of the feminist adgenda...and it's something we have to fight hard against. Thanks for the good reminder.
What about this one.."A happy wife, a happy life." I used to believe that...smh. I'm grateful for God's truth.

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