Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Causing Men to Lust


Every Saturday, Ken and I walk along the beach and then eat at our favorite breakfast place with my parents. Then we walk back and Ken runs and walks up and down these stairs five or more times. He loves the exercise and we enjoy this special time together. It's my parent's highlight of the week. 

Recently, we took our grandchildren with us and while he was going up and down the stairs, our grandchildren and I played in the sand near the bottom of the stairs. After only a short while, Ken came over to me and told me we had to leave because the view had changed. He told me I would know what he meant in a minute. We packed up to go and I turned around. At the bottom of the stairs, a young woman was laying on her towel on her stomach with a thong on so her entire bottom was showing. Many men come down these stairs every day since it is a surfer beach and surfers like to surf there. They all saw a naked women while coming down the stairs this day. Earlier on the walk when we had to cross a bridge, I glanced down at the sand beneath and about six young women were laying on their stomachs with their heads together in a circle and their entire bottoms were showing.

We have been walking this beach for years and I don't remember seeing a woman in a thong there before. I am thinking that it won't be long before they go topless and we won't be able to go to the beach on warm days anymore. Do these women know that they aren't only causing teenagers and young men to lust but older men and even grandfathers to lust too? Turning men on is an ego thing for them. They feel pride when they know men look at them.  However, the boys and men aren't looking at them with love or respect, but with lust. They are looking at them as objects to satisfy their lusts, not as a human beings.

These women have no discretion. They are naked and unashamed when they are only supposed to do this with their husbands. They are defiling their marriage bed and have caused many men to stumble. They are only thinking about themselves and are mean, as Beth Moore has said, since they enjoy turning other women's husbands on. The Bible says they are like pig with a gold ring in its nose. Therefore, the Lord doesn't think too highly of their behavior.

"The desire to be desired in women is part of God's design for women's sexuality, but it has to be channeled in the right direction. A woman is supposed to be desired by her husband, to make him want her, and to revel in his appreciation of her body. But it is not right or appropriate for a woman to desire or get this kind of attention from men who are not her husband." {Lindsay Harold}

We, as Christian women, must do much better and teach our daughters to be modest. We must teach them about a man's sexual drive and that they are visual in nature. We want a man to respect us for our inward beauty of a meek and quiet spirit, not for the amount of flesh we show. Our clothing should never cause a man to stumble since we respect our brothers in Christ too much to do this to them. Never be responsible for causing someone else to stumble into sin. These women will be held just as accountable for their actions as the men who stumble. Yes, men are commanded to flee sexual immorality and this is why Ken informed us that we were fleeing. It's too bad that this young women didn't know she was taking the fun away from our grandchildren by making us leave playing in the sand due to her lack of discretion.

As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout,
 so is a fair woman which is without discretion.
Proverbs 11:22

Comments (40)

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We have this same problem in Grand Haven Mi. where I live.( a few minutes from Lake MI) It makes me so upset that we can no longer walk the board walk or go to the state park during the day. We have to go super early in the morning or to a far away remote beach and even then we often have to leave because of the bikinis. I have to work really hard at not showing disgust around my children. I try to remind them that we have to pray for them and just keep pure ourselves.
2 replies · active 464 weeks ago
Thank you for addressing this. I'm grateful my husband is quick to flee sexual immorality. I think often it hurts me more than him when women are immodest. It hurts my confidence when I fear he will be caused to stumble. It makes me feel undesirable because I could be dressed beautifully at home, but we watch one clean show with one sexualized commercial and I feel outdone. My husband just wants me to be confident because he's not looking elsewhere but it's a struggle! I wish I could look forward to trips to the beach and lake, but I fear the increasing immodesty and like you said, the thong bathing suits are becoming common and topless may be next no thanks to sin and feminism.
5 replies · active 464 weeks ago
I wish I would have had an older woman to mentor and guide me in this particular area whilst growing up. Instead, my mother purchased magazines like Glamour and Cosmopolitan, and therefore I thought "being sexy" was important to be loved. These magazines, along with the popular movies/ music of the day, really gave me a warped view about love/sexuality.
Although I did eventually come to the truth about God's plan for proper conduct, real love, and respect, I think it is harder than ever for young people growing up today.
Where I live, many young ladies go out and get drunk every weekend and the behaviour surrounding it is horrific to see. We seldom go into town in the evening at weekends because of what is on display.
Not only is their behaviour tragic to see, but their manner of dress is such that I don't even think a prostitute would wear. No one bats an eye, but I feel sad inside that this is now the norm in society.
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
Young women today seem to Be very confused about modesty. When they don't have godly instruction, their only examples are Hollywood and Victoria's Secret. When I was working outside the home, I can't tell you the number of times that female employees wore cleavage baring clothes to a professional office. It was cringe-worthy. Of course, the incidents of "sexual harassment" increased by the year. So destructive. Thank you for your instruction on this very critical topic.
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
You are so right. There are plenty of respectable one piece swimsuits. I personally like a tankini. It has the convenience of two pieces while covering like a one piece. If I'm up and walking around, I'll wear a thin mesh cover over my suit also.

But thongs? How is that even comfortable? Ewwww
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
I notice that when things were taken care of between me and the mrs,
I could walk thru a harem and it would not bother me. Perhaps hormone levels
taken care of, not sure. Seems like that's only good for a short time, so,,,But when the hunger level rises then this is a problem, what an odd creation in a way !

Thanks for the article!
2 replies · active 464 weeks ago
I enjoy reading your blog, Mrs. Alexander, I thought you might like to read this blog I posted on the same topic. As a young woman, I am very passionate about this topic and honoring God in every way possible. Many think it's just about the clothes, but it is so much more. It's the heart behind your actions and what you put on that matters. https://sarahdashataylor.wordpress.com/2016/02/25...
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
Backward Porn Addiction: when women draw attention to themselves. Rick Thomas.net writes an excellent article about this.
I have also found that women avoid other women who dress immodestly because they would rather not have these women around their families.
We have a rule that no bikinis in our pool or in our boat. It has saved us from many problems. It is beyond me how a father lets his daughter dress for all the world to see her body. He would never let her run around in her bra and underwear and yet this is exactly how she dresses at the beach.
2 replies · active 464 weeks ago
i have mixed feelings about this. i have a naturally large chest and i am very small in stature everywhere else. its very difficult to find clothes that flatter my figure and don't show too much cleavage that actually fit. (I choose to not wear cleavage baring clothes because it makes me feel very uncomfortable) if it's not too tight, the clothes make me look like i am a drowned rat- there seems to be no in between! : )
in the summer i can never find a bathing suit that looks nice that is not too big or too small. i cant just walk into a store and buy one. generally i wear a tankini with shorts and that seems to work well for my comfort.
but despite my best efforts to cover up, i still get stared at. i dont think i am causing men to sin against themselves, rather i think they are sinning against me. i didn't chose my body and even when wearing clothes that are not too tight or too short, i still feel uncomfortable from the staring.
i love the beach, so i will not stay away to avoid being looked at- but i definitely would rather not have to give dirty looks to men staring at me!
3 replies · active 459 weeks ago
It is really sad that the immodesty is even showing up in the church and not being addressed by the leadership.
2 replies · active 464 weeks ago
There is a girl at our church that is obviously well endowed. And came one sunday wearing a low cut top. You could see right down her top and almost see her panties. Unfortunately she had to ask my husband something and so i stood right next to him and i noticed he kept his answers short and tried desperately to focus on her face. Then she turned to talk to me and if anything i had more trouble than my husband! They were just right there as clear as day. I think she noticed because she has made an effort to cover up since. So its not just men that struggle to look away. Although i only struggled because her chest stuck out like a sore thumb and was hard to avoid. I have observed that the men in our church will often gravitate toward and have longer conversations with the women in our church who cover up. Thankfully immodesty is seldom in our church. Im so thankfully my husband tries to be careful with his eyes and is open and honest when he struggles. He would of said the same thing as Ken.
2 replies · active 464 weeks ago
A thousand times, yes! My whole family loves the beach, but I hate the inevitable bums and breasts that accompany it. I try not to let it bother me too much, but man I get irritated with women who deliberately try to draw the eye of every man in the room. Is their own man not enough for them? Why do they need the eye of every other woman's husband in order to be satisfied? Furthermore, I took my almost eight year old to buy a one piece bathing suit and could hardly find one in a little girls size that didn't have a plunging neckline?!?! I was so disgusted I couldn't even finish shopping for the bathing suit. I'll try again another day. What in the world are we teaching our girls?!?!?! My husband gets very uncomfortable around scantily clad women that I work with, and always reminds me how much he appreciates my modesty. He loves to be the only one who gets to look at his favorite parts.
ContentWife's avatar

ContentWife · 464 weeks ago

A little practical quote I've grown to love, "Your clothing should be tight enough to show that you're a woman, and loose enough to show that you're a lady."
Fantastic post! It reminded me of something I've been thinking about lately, and I'd like to ask your opinion if you don't mind. I've read about a study (maybe more than one?) conducted that showed that when women wear pants, men's eyes are almost immediately drawn to the crotch area (the pants didn't even have to be skin tight)... Not necessarily in a perverted way, but because of the shape that it makes, that's what the eyes notice. I have also heard some Christian men admit that this is where their eyes are drawn when they see women in jeans.

While I enjoy skirts and dresses, I have always worn pants, as well. If some Christian men admit that jeans are a stumbling block for them, should we only wear skirts? It seems hard to find a healthy balance these days between overly modest/legalistic and not quite modest enough. I appreciate the truth that you share on your blog and I'd love to hear your opinion on this matter. God bless!
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
Hi Lori, you are so right. And although I do agree that these girls/women enjoy the affect they have on men, I do believe the pressure is on them too, to be so. Sad really, they should have self confidence enough to NOT behave that way but the world has turned that all upside down.

I also believe that men need to also grow up and not blame women for their lack of self respect and self-discipline too. As your husband did, he took action and moved away from the "issue"! We should pray our boys/men become more self-confident to turn away and not encourage those girls. We as moms need to pray for our children, those who lead and those who follow.
Great post,
God bless
Tracy
Hi Lori,
I couldn't agree with you more and with most of the other comments. I feel uncomfortable and defeated when naked women in the flesh walk by, or are visible on magazines covers or NFL cheerleaders and the list goes on. My husband gets mad because i make comments. He says he's not interested so it doesn't matter. But he still sees and I really don't know what he is thinking. My husband would not have walked away like yours. He always says "what do you want me to do?". I respond walk away, turn the channel and so forth. He thinks I'm ridiculous. I guess it's obvious we do not have a sex life and this upsets me even more.
What are your thoughts on wearing a bikini because your husband wants you to? We are frequently out boating in the summer. I wear a modest tankini or one piece but he always comments or asks me to wear a bikini. Is it better to please your husband in this area or to be modest? I wonder if by me not wanting to make other men stumble, am I making my own husband stumble?? If he wants to see a woman in a bikini there are always plenty around!

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