Monday, May 2, 2016

Heirs Together in the Grace of Life ~ Chapter Twenty Four


In 1 Peter 3:7, we are told that we are heirs together in the grace of life. Marriage is sacred to God. He is the One who created it and it is a model of Christ and His Church. It is not something to take lightly or carelessly. Since God commands you to obey your husband, obey him. You were created to be your husband's help meet, not the other way around. Do everything you can to make his life easier, not more difficult. All men make mistakes. A woman's place is simply to obey for God's sake, not for right's sake. If you wait until you feel that your husband is right before you obey him, then you will seldom obey him, and you will never enjoy the miracles of God.*

Do you do what he asks of you? Do you cook food that he enjoys? Do you keep your home the way he wants you to keep it? Do you wash and take care of his clothing? Do you dress the way he wants you to? Do you give him sex when he wants it? Do you try to keep your husband happy? If you do, you most likely have a very good and strong marriage. If you are married to a difficult husband, continue to do the things He has asked you to do and allow the Lord to do His work on your husband since He does a much better job than you ever could.

Bonding, and becoming heirs together starts with the wife, because she is the weaker vessel and has the greatest need...If she pours her life into pleasing her husband and serving him, he will develop a protective nurturing instinct toward her. As he gains confidence that his heart is safe with her and that she places his welfare first, he will begin to trust her with his innermost being.* The Word tells us that a wise woman builds up her home but a foolish one tears hers down. Women today are told to be strong and independent of men. They are told they don't need a man to take care of them. Therefore, it is difficult to take this mindset, throw it in the trash, and renew your mindset with what God says about you. You are the weaker vessel. You were created to be his help meet. This is God's will for you. Learn what pleases him and do it. 

When your children are all grown up and gone, if you have fed your marriage with good things, your marriage will easily withstand the empty nest syndrome. Instead of pouring your whole life into your children while they are young, don't forget your husband since he is who you were created to help. Don't forget his needs. Keep him seeking you out to fulfill his needs. Pray daily for your husband. Love him deeply.

This is the final chapter of Created to Be His Help Meet. It's been a long study but a good one. It was fun to go through the book that changed my marriage for good and I pray it has changed many of yours as well. 

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
Proverbs 5:18, 19

*Quotes from the book.

Comments (20)

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Thank you, Lori. I really needed this today. I have to always remind myself that I am my husband's helper, and not the other way around. Every Monday morning I seem to forget that, as I am cleaning up the remnants of the weekend, often wondering why I don't get more help with keeping the house tidy. But after reading this, it reminds me that there will be more peace in the home if I just try to joyfully comply with my role as a helpmeet.

I am saddened that this the last chapter for the study! Looking forward to the next one.
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
Yes, the Lord asks us to rejoice always and that the greatest of all is the servant of all. When we remind ourselves of what He has asked us to do, things get a whole lot easier because our perspective changes! Being transformed by the renewing of our minds with God's Truth!
Well done series on a well done book. It is interesting to note Debi’s words ”becoming heirs together starts with the wife.” I have felt for some time that the healing of the church starts with women. They have the power to submit or rebel. It cannot be forced on them, even if physically ‘so.’ Respect and obedience and submission come from the heart. So many men have tried to lead but have been continually suppressed by their woman and their church. As a man, and one who spends a lot of time studying scripture and marriage and one who has been around the church for 60 years, I offer that I do not think I personally know any man who materially receives submission from his wife. I admit that part of that is with people I do not know well but the telltale signs are there. And the others, the majority, I certainly know evidence of and the tricks played in public verses behind the scene. Many are ghastly circumstances in ‘holy’ people. The church has been greatly influence by the growing practice of women taking authority and men relinquishing it, for generations now, to the point that we don’t usually see it. Many otherwise good pastors (even on radio and television) make jokes about weakness of men or superiority of women. Yet it is all an abomination to the word of God. Why are we so bold AGAINST the One we call our God?

But God is working and this website is one of His methods for transforming minds. And, I see evidence in the OT prophets that God has allowed this to happen, an analogy of the two nations at war with each other, as from Gen 3:16, men and women. But God is in process, to breath over the scoffed at bones of men piled up in the valley below, and in a great roar will build His army from men in these rapidly coming end times. The kingdom of God is within us and the battle is there, not our unbelieving enemy.

May God continue to give you His strength and blessing, Lori, as you encourage women to His rewarding purpose, and all the blessed and lovely women that follow you as they hunger and thirst for His truth and righteousness.
3 replies · active 459 weeks ago
Thank you, Dave. In the chat room recently we have talked about all of the very popular female Bible teachers who have no problem speaking to large audiences with men in them and fail to teach women what God has commanded for them to teach, namely Titus 2:3-5. Many of them are still young and have children in the home. There seems to be way more of these popular women "preachers" than men these days, tragically. As a result, there are many "spiritual" women who are not loving and obeying their husbands, modest, nor being keepers at home; all the things the Lord cares about most for women to know once they are saved and believers in Him.
We had a fantastic preacher who did a sermon on "The Power of Oneness". This was about how the power to become One in a marriage is actually held by the woman. She decides if she will submit or not. The marriage act even represents this. She has to be the one to submit. Forcing submission does not make oneness. So you have noted that this is the same with the Church.
Yes, the woman has to be willing to submit and she should in obedience to the Lord and for His blessings upon her life.
This is a conviction to me today. My husband and I have a wonderful marriage but God brought to mind something I have been fighting against. Normally my husband is the head of our household but in one area that hasn't been true. He has been continually asking me if I would start lifting weights. I am already exercise and am healthy and thin but he has always preferred me to have more muscle like when we first met. I really really hate weight lifting. He doesn't want me to look like a man but definitely more muscle than I currently have. I suppose I better get started...
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
This is important especially as you get older. I use a pulley on the door to try to build up my upper body, specifically my upper back in hopes of strengthening my neck but it has been good at helping my arms get stronger. Yes, you should get started! :)
Becky Groff's avatar

Becky Groff · 464 weeks ago

Off topic but did you see Lady Lydias new post today on the Prov. 31 woman? Excellent!
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
No, but thank you, Becky. I will look at it!
Such sad news! I printed out every post so I can re read them as I wish. Great job Lori. Can't wait for another series. :-)
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed them!
I'm so grateful to have come into the middle of this series and caught up on all of them. I found your site at the beginning of this year. I made a "New Year's Resolution" to love my husband better. I started by reading my Bible daily and deciding to read all of it this year. I did not grow up in a Christian home and submission was a bad word in my family's eyes when I started dating my husband. I didn't believe that was true because I trusted in God's loving kindness. Nevertheless I struggled to find information on what it meant to be submissive and how to practice it. My husband and I struggled with sex. I wanted it, he did too, but was too stressed and exhausted from work, so often, we would not get to be intimate. It hurt so bad, especially as a newlywed and both of us virgins. I tried the advice of other Christian websites to talk to him gently, make sure he was relaxed, serve him, wait for him to initiate, no improvement. The constant "rejection" I felt was the most unbearable pain. All of it however was an evil lie from the devil. My husband is pure and faithful and loves me wholeheartedly. He is kind, works hard, provides for me fully. He's darn near close to perfect. As soon as I found your site, I scoured and have read tons of your posts. I thank God that you speak truth of the Bible as the Lord tells you to. My heart is where the change needed to happen. I needed to stop asking him for sex, asking him to talk about it, reaching out to him expecting him to be ready at any moment. I am so glad to know how to submit, when to submit, and how to put love and respect into action, winning him without a word. Praise God for His understanding of how He made us and His instructions to us for how to treat each other. I now happily wait for my husband to initiate when he is ready and I can flirt and seek to please him out of love, no longer fearing rejection. Thank you, Lori. I now pray often for the Christian men of this world, that their wives would be convicted and seek to not blaspheme the Word of God by their rebellion but would choose submission. Teaching mutual submission alongside wives' submission is cowardice in our churches and is not doing marriages any favors. Too many marriages in my family have ended in divorce, all initiated by the wives blaming their husbands for their emotional rebellion.
2 replies · active 464 weeks ago
Thank you for sharing your testimony! Nothing on God's green earth can compare with His ways. His ways are beautiful but the enemy of our soul tries to make them look ugly, many fall for it, and their lives turn out miserable. It's unfortunate that more preachers and teachers of the Word aren't teaching it the way the Lord intends for it to be taught since solid families are the foundation of a healthy church and society. Blessings on your marriage!
Powerful words. You have found a great deal more of Jesus! It is interesting to note that the only time a wife has authority over her man is in the bed; he is to yield to her positive desires. I do not believe there is a man that does not desire this but since he cannot simply lie there it really comes down to stress that create his emotional and physical state. This stress, in my suspicion, is all a part of the attack on men. Continue with your complete desire for his body and being; show him with your eyes and smile that you really respect him and it will pay dividends.
FREEINDEED's avatar

FREEINDEED · 464 weeks ago

Thanks for tackling this book, Lori. Its been fun to read everyones insights. Definitely a game changer!
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
You're welcome, FREEINDEED! It sure has been a game changer for many marriages!
Love this post, Lori! I'm printing off for my marriage/parenting notebook that I read with my devotions. Thanks so much for this study - it's been a blessing to me and to many other ladies reading. We appreciate your hard work!!

Diana
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
Thank you, Diana. It is the work the Lord has given me and I love it!
I found that it was much easier for me to be obedient when I stopped correlating my husband's protective nature with distrust. I used to automatically assume that because he preferred things a certain way that it meant he thought I was either incapable of making decisions for myself, or that I was dumb. Wow, did I have it backwards. Once I laid my pride and my own armor down (which was really just a 'miss independent' attitude that is greatly encouraged today) I began to truly feel free and joyful. For example, there are certain places he asks me not to go alone. He states "If women were meant to protect themselves, God would have given them size, strength and muscles". Now my unrenewed mind would like to assume that he must think I'm stupid or that I'll openly walk into dangerous situations, etc. Truthfully however, he is being protective, which is a pointe that Debi Pearl has outlined in this chapter.
I have been on both sides of this matter: submission vs. miss independent, and it's so much better to do things God's way. There is a certain sense of freedom and peace that comes along with making fewer decisions for oneself. Knowing that I'm protected and cared for deeply, and that my husband has what's best for me according to scripture in mind, is the most freeing and liberating feeling. I'm a very dependent woman now, but instead of worrying and of holding all of a man's responsibilities on my shoulders (like making all of the decisions) I feel lighter, and I know that is God's perfect will for women. In this I am able to rest, (trusting God through my husband's leadership) I am anxious for nothing, and I have peace that transcends understanding.

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