Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Take Porn By The Horn



This was written by Michael Pearl, our favorite Bible teacher, who has never looked at pornography.  He is very hard hitting which may offend some of you but I think we need it!

Here is some very valuable advice from him ~

I never erase my web history. Someone else does it for me after examining it. Someone may ask, “What is wrong, don’t you trust yourself?” My answer to them is, I want my wife to trust me. I want my son-in-law to trust me. I want you to trust me, and I want to make myself accountable to someone—just as you should.

I don’t trust anyone who erases his own web history on a regular basis. Just think about it. God keeps a file of all web searches. Nothing is ever erased, except your entire past sins history when you got saved. After that, in the day of the judgment seat of Christ, you will give an account for every deed done in your body (II Corinthians 5:10). No amount of confession and sorrow will prevent you from having to answer for every deed since you got saved.

By the way, I passed. I have never viewed as much as one single porno image on any computer—ever! My Lord and my wife deserve no less. Having done what is required of me, I am just an unprofitable servant; I have only done that which was my duty to do (Luke 17:10), as any normal Christian does.

Dear lady, if your husband’s office was in the same building as a strip joint, just one curtained glass door separating him from the view, would you be comfortable trusting him to never pull back the curtain and look in on the smut? Would you trust your young untested sons—even when you are gone to the store, and they are there alone? That is exactly what the web is—a ready window to the most vile pornography that the devil and his demons can produce. It is pure Sodom and Gomorrah. And it is right there in your home, all the time, waiting day and night to reach though the screen and grab the lusts of a boy or man. I avoid it like Hell.

I cannot say this too forcefully. You are gullible beyond belief if you have in your home a computer with access to the web and it is not on a password, completely inaccessible to your sons. Every single boy from eight to sixteen years old—without exception—will get on the web and look at porn if he can find the opportunity. He will get up in the middle of the night. He will play sick and sneak in when you are gone to the store for medicine. He will arrive home early, stay up late, rise before you do, or go to a friend’s house and get on their computer when they are not home.

If you are the best parent and child trainer, with the best of spiritual instruction, and the finest education, and your sons view pornography on the web, you have wasted your time. You lose. They lose. God loses. The devil wins.

Christian men develop the fortitude and discipline to obey God and walk in holiness against all temptation, but few boys before the age of eighteen have that kind of discipline.

Any husband that expects his wife to “trust him” is a scoundrel. Never put your wife in the position to have to depend on blind trust. Make every moment a walk in the light. I take my wife everywhere, or else she knows where I am and who I am with every moment. Every Christian man should invite his wife or a friend to view his web history on a regular basis. Every computer should be in a public place or facing an open door (or a glass door) where the wife and kids can see what is on the screen. A man who refuses to do so is guilty of something, if only pride.

Dear Christian brother, make yourself accountable to your wife and your friends. Sweet, gullible mother, get as mad as a mother goose and protect your boys and men.

This is me again...Wives, ask your husband every morning if there was even a hint of sexual immorality in his life the day before. If he is a Christian man who walks in holiness, he will want to be held accountable. He needs to be held accountable, if he will let you.

But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, 
let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints.
Ephesians 5:3

My youngest son who takes obedience to God as a very serious thing has
this Bible verse on his computer screen ~

I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes.
Psalm 101:3

Accountable2You is a GREAT application that protects your family from porn for a very low fee and can be put on everything you own that gives access to porn.

Comments (15)

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Incredibly powerful post, thank you for sharing. The pearls are said to be controversial but are they really, I think we have just become to comfy in this fallen world that we struggle with truth from God. I really enjoy your posts Lori, this one especially since my family was affected by porn before we came to Christ last year/this year. Have a blessed day. Tara (The Proverbs 31 Sanctuary) I found this post on twitter, I am glad I did.
2 replies · active 418 weeks ago
The Pearls are controversial because they speak Truth. Our lives have been changed through their teaching. We measure everything they teach with the Word of God. We love Truth being taught boldly and courageously and they do it well.
I think I will have to have a look into the Pearls, they sound great. I have read created to be his help meet, that was a fantastic book, really helped me, but I could not believe the mixed reviews, it was crazy. Have a wonderful day. Tara.
Great post. Porn is such a plague in our society. I'm thankful my husband has never seen it (friends tried to get him to look as a teenager, but he was strong enough to say "no way".) Many people won't even believe us that he hasn't looked at porn. How sad is that?
We have a few friends whose marriages have really struggled because of porn. The scary thing now days is that so many teenage boys have smart phones in their pocket...so they don't have to wait until mom is at the store. They can look at it on the bus, during class, anywhere they want. Very scary world we live in. But we are doing our best to raise our (still little) kids in the best way we know how, and teach them as much as we can!
1 reply · active 627 weeks ago
We spent a week with the Pearls years ago at one of their retreats. He told us not to believe that all men look at porn because they don't. He takes his walk in holiness and purity so seriously that he won't go to malls or beaches. He flees all sexual immorality and I respect him SO much for that! I love knowing there are men out there like him.
joluisesd@gmail.com's avatar

joluisesd@gmail.com · 634 weeks ago

My husband is a none-believer and has no interest in pornography and I completely trust him, he doesn’t even look at women who are immodestly dressed. I don’t know anyone that does, both my sons think it’s a waste of time and stupid. Perhaps porn is a bigger problem in the US than it is here.

As to the part about not removing the history from your computer, both my husband and I do off our own computers as it removes cookies etc… It’s worth doing once in a while. And as I trust my husband I have nothing to fear about him cleaning out the cache.
I enjoyed the article. I don't have children and my husband and I are transparent with each other so I have no worries there (praise God!)

I do have a question about this part of the article: "Nothing is ever erased, except your entire past sins history when you got saved. After that, in the day of the judgment seat of Christ, you will give an account for every deed done in your body {II Cor. 5:10}"

I have been taught (maybe incorrectly?) that there is no judgement for God's children and that His blood covers all sins, past, present and future. Something about that quote above doesn't add up. Can you help me figure out where the breakdown is? :-)
2 replies · active 634 weeks ago
Someone else asked me that so I will explain it to you as I explained it to her. 2 Corinthians states, "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to what he has done, whether it be good or bad." The moment we believe, ALL our sins are forgiven and we are given eternal life, there is no condemnation for us. However, according to this verse, we will be judged by how we live our life on earth after we believe. We will get rewards for the good we have done. We won't lose our salvation for our sins, we just may not get as many rewards. So the way we live our lives now will affect us for eternity but can never take away our salvation. This is why God commands us to walk in obedience now...to be a light to others and have more rewards in heaven.
Makes sense! I wonder if one of the rewards in Heaven is being able to eat cookies without the nasty consequences of weight gain and stomach ache? :-)

I kid. I think the thing I look forward to most is getting my asthmatic self a new set of perfect lungs! Oh! To be able to run again!
Cynthia Swenson's avatar

Cynthia Swenson · 634 weeks ago

Mr. Pearl sounds like an amazing man who loves Jesus! Love & prayers, Cynthia
Many women struggle with porn addictions as well. I think now a days women need to be held accountable as much as men. Either way, great post! My husband and I are open books to each other and it has really helped.
I agree that pornography is pervasive and invading in our culture and as a Christian this makes it incredibly hard to navigate through a sex crazed world with purity. I believe there is a multitude of Christians who struggle with this type of temptation and I don't find almost anything in this article to help someone going through those struggles. If anything it just says they are a terrible sinner. The idea of a wife asking her husband every single day if he has had any hint of sexual immorality in his life is crazy! Would it be right for a husband to ask his wife every morning if she has had any thoughts of negativity, or any gossiping she has been a part of?
I think accountability is crucial however if a husband says to his wife that he has struggled with his thought life, or lusted over a woman he saw in the street 9/10 times she is going to get angry at him, often cause more distrust as she will constantly question him on his thoughts.
He needs accountability with another man that will challenge him, believe in him, and help him though his struggles.
I think it is incredibly important for filters, protecting kids, conversations to be had. But if the assumption is that all men are sex crazed savages that need their wives or mothers to challenge and protect them from themselves, then men will just turn to secrecy.
Jesus hung out with prostitutes and sinners, he didn't condemn them he helped them showing them there was a better way.
How about putting energy into helping Christians who have sexual struggles rather than just telling them they are sinning (which they already know).
3 replies · active 418 weeks ago
I agree totally with you and I believe you understand because you're a man.
Most women can not understand how incredibly easy it is for a man to be sexually tempted because we have a different biological make up, as i can see from the previous comments.
I believe, if men were to tell their wives everytime they feel sexually attracted to another woman, most women will never be happy in their marriage. Yes, even that holy husband sometimes feel sexually attracted by another woman.
Olumide, see my comment to David. If you want to grow your wife and marriage up, it is on you to educate your wife on the realities of the struggles that almost all men face... and the struggles that almost all women face. To show her that her sins seem to her petty or small, and to a man, a naked women's body part seems petty to make a big deal over. Now that we both think our sins are petty, let's get to work together to stop all sin in our home, so ask me any time how I am doing. You may not confess every sin to her, but you certainly can tell her, "I am doing really good" or "I need your prayers as I can do better," or "I think I need to do the dishes all week to remind myself that I am not going to look at things on AOL or Google just because they make it easy to see."

Train your wife in real life instead of having something in your marriage that you cannot talk about openly. Anything like that means less intimacy, understanding and acceptance of each other. It is mature believer who knows that all sin misses God's mark and needs admonition, encouragement and exhortation. Who better but your godly spouse to help you with any area you or she needs help to stop sinning?
David, I think you missed the part where Michael Pearl is telling godly men to tell their wives to hold them accountable... not suggesting a wife should take this on her own initiative. Regular accountability becomes very important for the addict who wants to stay off alcohol or porn, and the man who never wants porn to get a foothold in his life.

As you know, sins' strongholds are not something one just wakes up with one day and it just appears. It is a gradual giving into what one watches and looks for on the computer or tv. A husband is free to set his own levels of accountability, but most husbands need a wife to ask them how they are doing in order to not have a secret sex life struggle going on inside of them.

If a woman's struggles are with a desire to control and her emotional nature, a man's is his sexual nature. Why not have the closest Christian to you help hold you accountable for your sins? The idea that a wife needs to get to a woman's group to confess her sins and be held accountable and a man to a men's group is foreign to my understanding of what a mature marriage should be all about. I get it if you have a wife who is too immature to understand what you have written about a man's sexual nature, but it is your job to teach her and to mature her emotional nature to be able to accept that she simply has a different set of sins she will struggle with until the Lord grows her up in the area of her emotional life.

I would like to see a true study on how much "accountability" other Christian men and women actually hold each other to. My years in the church shows that what is called "accountability" is really confession and then others offer encouraging words like, "We are all sinners, and I struggle too." There is rarely a firm commitment to change or stop the sinning... "I will pray for you" is not accountability.

The true nature of Christian accountability is that "I want to be held accountable to God and my fellow believer" and in turn I will benefit from the spouse He has given me to help me stay strong in Him. And when I fail, I am mature enough to confess my failings, perhaps not all the details, but a simple "I need to do better." Perhaps even disciplining myself for godliness with specific consequences as the apostle Paul says, "So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. I discipline my body and keep it under control lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." (1 Cor. 9:26-27).

Certainly I am all for having understanding for how hard it is for a Christian man in today's world to avoid the flesh of women that is thrown at us in this sex-crazed society... but when a man is actively searching out sexual sin and porn... such a man needs strong accountability, and if he is not seeking out the porn, does he not need accountability to help stay away from seeking it? It is not the mud that comes up on us as we go along our journey that is of much concern as that is easily brushed off, but rather when the mud sticks and the guy or girl decides to play in it that is of great concern for the building of sinful strongholds.

"My wife couldn't handle it!"" Then get her some articles to read and help show her that your battles may be different than hers, but you don't get emotional over her sins of disrespect and control, so she needs to begin seeing that the things you may see are not the greatest of sins, but you need her help you not stumble headlong into sin.

Imagine what a mature marriage looks like when both spouses are holding each other accountable for their biggest areas of struggles, not matter what they are. And instead of crying about it... praying together and working together to ensure that it does not grow into something bigger as we wait upon the Lord to sanctify all areas of our Christian walk.

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