A Godly Woman Makes the Gospel Attractive

There have been a few older women in my life that make the Gospel VERY unattractive. They are unhappy, legalistic and extremely critical.  If someone in their life isn't acting "Christian" or they aren't dressing modestly, they let them know in a critical way. They usually see the worst in everyone and are no fun to be around at all.

There have been other women who adorn the Gospel with the way they live their life. They are kind, loving, encouraging and positive. They are a joy to be around and after being with them, you are uplifted and happy. What kind of a woman are you? Do you see the cup half empty or half full? Do you base your joy on your circumstances or on all of the riches you have in Christ? It's supposed to be obvious to anyone who's looking that there's a huge difference between those who believe in Jesus and those who don't. The difference should be crystal clear. Unfortunately, that's not always the case.*

Women in our society spend billions of dollars trying to make themselves beautiful on the outside; makeup, hair styling, clothing, creams and potions, exercise, plastic surgery, etc. yet spend little time on becoming beautiful on the inside. I can tell you women, yes, men appreciate a well-groomed woman, but they much more appreciate a kind, joyful, warm, and generous woman. People will remember our looks for a moment but our inward beauty influences them long after we have left them. A gorgeous woman can become ugly if she is critical and unkind, whereas a plain woman becomes beautiful if she has a meek and quiet spirit who cares more about others than herself. Sadly, we often obsess over the type of beauty that fades, while we neglect the type that lasts - the unfading beauty of the heart, which is of great value in God's eyes {1 Peter 3:4}.*

Do any of you remember when I wrote the post about the Olympic ice skater Meryl Davis and when she was on Dancing with the Stars? I encourage you to read the post I wrote about her and how her gentleness and softness changed her partner, Maks who was known as a being arrogant and difficult to work with. No matter how upset and angry he would get with her, she would respond in a gentle and soft way and won Maks with her behavior. I don't know if she is a Christian but she put many of us who call ourselves Christians to shame!

In closing, I want to quote a statement made by a Spanish-speaking woman in the Dominican Republic, "He took me from being a feminist young woman - selfish and with earthly desires - to a new young woman. I didn't want to get married or have kids. I was studying medicine with the intention of just being rich and economically powerful. I was pretty opposite of God's design for me. After digging in His Word, everything began to change. My desires, goals in life, purpose - everything! Now He made me love my design and I can't stay quiet about this with other girls. Here I am giving up medicine for studying the Bible. It looks like craziness to people, but I know Whom I believe."*

Learn to appreciate God's design for you. He wants you to be a soft and gentle woman of God; one who seeks hard after Him to know Him and to live for Him. He wants us to have His goals for our life, not society's goals. He transforms our heart and makes us beautiful. There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who is sold out for Jesus!

Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: 
but a woman that fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
Proverbs 31:30

Watch the accompanying video on Beauty HERE.

*True Woman 201: Interior Design—Ten Elements of Biblical Womanhood, ©2015 by Mary A. Kassian and Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Used with permission of Moody Publishers. You can buy the book HERE.

What if We Could Have One Glimpse of Heaven?

We met Cindy many years ago when we were thinking about putting our oldest, Alyssa, into the local Christian High School. She was the first one we met in the administration office. She was friendly and cheerful! She single-highhandedly sold us on sending our children there because of her joy. I'm sure she did this with many others.

I had the privilege of getting to know Cindy through the years and she continued being a joy for everyone to be around. She was easy to love and a bright light in this dark world. She died a few days ago after a short battle with pancreatic cancer. We all prayed and begged the Lord for healing yet He chose to take her home. When you think of it, however, all healing is temporary. All those the Lord healed while He walked this earth eventually died. We are all going to die. We all will meet our Maker one day.  I grieved the last few weeks of her life because I was too ill to go over and hug Cindy and tell her I loved her when her family had a party for her last month. This grieving caused me to realize how differently we would all think about death and dying if we could just get a glimpse of heaven.

Do we really understand we are all strangers and aliens here? Do we realize that our time here is short but eternity is forever? Can we even imagine what the new heaven and new earth will look like when everything beautiful and awe-inspiring here on earth was created by God?

We were created to never die. When God created man in the garden, there was no sorrow, no sickness and no death. Life was perfect. Then sin entered the world; therefore death befell all of us. However, God promises us He is going to make a new heaven and earth. I will be with Cindy and all the other believers for eternity! I will see her again and have plenty of time to hug her and tell her I love her.

Her children, husband and all those who loved her will miss her. This is why death is so sad. The ones left behind have lost someone they deeply love and have an emptiness in their soul. Even Jesus wept at Lazarus' death because death is ugly and tragic; it brings mourning into our lives.

When asking about how different our lives on this earth would be if we could get a glimpse of heaven, one of the women in the chat room wrote, "This world is NOT our home, but so many of our heartaches come because we try so hard to be comfortable here! But we are strangers and aliens so it should be uncomfortable! And why are we wasting so much time trying to build our kingdoms here? I'm more excited about making all my decisions, words and actions be honoring to Christ {keeping my lamp lit} for when I see Him. And storing my treasure in heaven. It's nice to know that how I'm living now DOES matter! It makes going through hard times easier."

Could we say with the Apostle Paul, But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of  God {Acts 20:24}?

Paul saw a glimpse of heaven and this is why he didn't care if he lived or if he died. He knew his life was going to be SO much better when he died. If only we could understand this truth, yet it's so easy to make this life too important. Praise God that we will all get to see Cindy again and all our loved ones that are already with Jesus. His death on the cross has given us a hope and a future; an eternal future better than any of us can hope or even imagine.

See you in eternity, my precious friend!

She's Afraid to Give Up Control

This woman we know has a difficult marriage. It is difficult mainly because she is very controlling and insists on being right, just as many of us do. They have been married many years and her husband is fed up. He left her. He’s left her several times when he can’t take it anymore. She was devastated and came to speak to Ken and me.

Ken counseled her a long time. She reads my blog every day and loves what I write but she just can’t seem to give up her control and insisting on being right. She wants to so badly. She wants more than anything to be a godly, submissive wife to her husband. She loves her husband very much. He is a good husband to her. He is faithful, loves her and is a good provider. He works very hard but she claims to “forget” all that she has learned when she gets into the heat of the moment with her husband.

Her husband also talked to Ken for a long time. He encouraged him to take control and not let her get away with her controlling ways. He told her that she needs help in becoming the wife she wants to become. Separating is not the answer and is not beneficial to the marriage although every time it happens, it makes her miserable and feeling terrible about her behavior.

He was finally convinced that he needed to take control. He told her that he was ready to get back together but that things would be different. She’s scared. She knows it’s the right thing to do but she’s scared of giving up control. They are both going to be going against their natural tendencies {He doesn’t like to confront and control and she does} yet they both know it is badly needed in order to make their marriage a strong and happy one. They are both willing to work on it. 

This isn’t the only marriage like this. Ken has mentored other men in similar situations. The men who follow his advice are making improvements in their marriage. Men aren’t taught how to be the leaders in their homes just as wives aren’t taught to be submissive to their husbands. The most important thing they need to do is to learn to walk in the Spirit and do what the Lord has commanded them to do and not in the flesh; what comes easy and natural for them.

Many women have the desire to be godly wives to their husbands but they don't have the self-control to do it. This is where the husbands need to come in and help them. Ken and I keep each other accountable for any sin in our lives. We want to walk in the Spirit and live lives that are pleasing to the Lord. This is the way a godly marriage should work!

For the husband is the head of the wife as 

Christ is the head of the church, 

his body, of which he is the Savior.

Ephesians 5:23

Woman are Commanded to be QUIET

Paul commands women in the church to be quiet. Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law {1 Corinthians 14:34} and But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence {1 Timothy 2:12}. Many believe this was due to women speaking out of order and it was a cultural thing back when he wrote these verses; one women would shout out something, then another woman, etc. But somehow women think it's different today. I disagree!

After the GOP debate, Ken and I were watching The Kelly File on Fox News. Megan had a large group of Republicans discussing the debate. It was probably 50% women and 50% men. The women completely dominated the discussion! If you have been in Bible studies that were men and females, haven't you noticed how usually the women dominate the conversation? Women have the gift of gab. It was the same back in Paul's day and it's the same today. Nothing has changed.

Women who have disobedient husbands are commanded to win them how? Without a WORD; by being QUIET! Being quiet is a good quality to pursue. Since we know we have a problem with talking too much, we need to begin working on developing this quiet quality which in the sight of God of great price {1 Peter 3:4}. Why is a being quiet so precious to the Lord?

We won't stick our foot in our mouth and say something we regret.

We have a much greater chance of not offending others.

We have time to ponder our words and speak words of kindness.

We allow our actions to speak louder than our words. 

There's a better chance of hearing the still small voice of the Lord.

How can we tame the tongue that James tells us it's so difficult to tame? And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell {James 3:6}. Then James goes on to say, But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison {James 3:8}. Oh no! This means we can't tame our tongue or does it?

But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible {Matthew 19:26}. Since we are new creatures in Christ, we have His Spirit living mightily within us and one fruit of the Spirit is self-control so YES, we can tame the tongue! None of His commands to us are burdensome and He gives us the power to walk in the Spirit and obey Him. We do this by being transformed by renewing our minds with Truth. Therefore, if you have a problem with your tongue and being quiet, memorize verses that deal with being quiet and being slow to speak.