Divorced Parents Raise Less Religious Children

If passing your faith onto your children is of utmost importance to you as it was to me, do everything in your power to stay married to your husband until death do you part. Have you noticed how faith is dwindling in this country as the divorce rate rises? There is a reason for this and it is the same reason God hates divorce: it's consequences are devastating on the children and future generations.

When Ken and I got married, we made a pact with each other that divorce would never be in our vocabulary. Marriage was for life for both of us through all the trials we most undoubtedly would go through. Having been home full time with my children and staying committed to Ken was instrumental in raising secure and mentally stable children who love the Lord and it will be for your children too. I am sure all of you know many people who have come from broken homes and the devastation it has caused in their lives. Do you want this for your children?

God hates divorce. He is clear about this in His Word. Marriage is defined by Him and is one man and one woman becoming one flesh until death do they part. What God has joined together, let no man tear asunder (Matthew 10:9). One of the purposes of marriage is to create godly offspring.

There have been studies on the effect of divorce on children and how more and more children are walking away from their faith because of their parent's divorce.  An article about this issue states that divorce is not as high as it used to be but that is because more couples just live together and when they split up, it’s not called divorce. But it harms the children just as much as if their parents divorced and has a great potential of causing them to leave the faith if they have any. (It's tragic how many couples who call themselves Christians are living with each other before marriage these days.)

Much has been said about younger Americans tending to shy away from religion in much greater numbers than previous generations, but now, researchers think they may have found the culprit…if you want your children to stay in church, it helps to stay with your spouse.

If they see the church fail to keep their parents together, they might not rely on it for other struggles they encounter in life.

Luther Seminary professor Andrew Root told The Washington Post, "Everything in a divorce gets divided. Literally everything. … Everyone takes sides. Even religion takes sides. The church gets divided. Dad leaves Mom's faith, or vice versa. Negotiating those worlds becomes difficult."

Marriage and families are what great cultures are built upon. As marriages crumble so do societies and you can see this happening in ours. Gangs are becoming more and more prevalent because of the lack of a father in these young men's lives. They are looking for a family to be a part of and it is the wrong family.

Divorce causes so much pain and bitterness in children since many times they believe it was their fault that their parents divorced and this often causes them to grow up to be angry adults. Most times, this anger is directed at God (atheists are just people who are mad at God for how He's running the world) and they don't want to have anything to do with a God that would allow the break up of their family.

Children want and need a mother and father in the same home. Fight for your marriage, women. Fight for the souls of your husband, if he is not a believer, and for the souls of your children. I have seen women who are married to unbelievers raise godly children because they stayed with their unbelieving husband and this gave security to the children. The believing mothers sanctified the home with their presence (1 Corinthians 7:14) since Jesus lives inside of them. The children were modeled a godly mother and wanted what she had.

Many women come to me or to the chat room and have been told by almost every one in their life to divorce their husband. They won’t hear that message from me or those in the chat room. We encourage women to stay married, win their husband without a word by being in subjection to them with godly behavior, and give their children the security of a home united and faith in Christ being displayed for all to see.

Choose you this day whom ye will serve 

but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Joshua 24:15

Taking Pictures With Tongues Out

As many of you know, I have two new granddaughters. One was born in July and the other in August. They are beautiful and fun to watch. We laugh when their little tongues come continually out of their mouths. When they toot, we think it's funny. When they burp, we all laugh and are happy they got their air out so it won't cause a tummy ache. All of their noises are so sweet to all of us. However, when grown women are doing these things, they aren't funny or cute anymore. It is disgusting and they are not being discreet.

Sticking out your tongue for pictures and having tooting and burping contests are common among women today. I hear it directly from them. They think it's funny. The Bible tells us otherwise: When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. (1 Corinthians 13:11) Even as our children grew older, they never stuck their tongues out or looked like the girl in the picture. We would never have allowed this. They didn't burp or toot on purpose in front of us either. (I actually never heard them burp since they had healthy gallbladders.) We taught them from a young age to have manners. 

 Godly women are called to be discreet and not do anything to draw attention to themselves. They are not children anymore and should not do childish things. It's amazing that I even have to teach younger women this today. When I was growing up, we never did such things. We would have been mortified! If we had to pass gas, we held it until we were alone. (If you have a lot of gas, you need to find out to heal your digestive system and I am sure less sugar and more real foods with probiotics will help.)

I don't ever remember having a problem with burping. I have heard that if you burp a lot, you are having problem with your gall bladder so check out ways to heal your gallbladder. (Ken had many horrible gall bladder attacks but was able to heal it completely.) I would have never stuck out my tongue for pictures, ever. When I see women do this, it looks disgusting. Tongues are meant to help us talk and eat to enjoy our food, not show off to other people, especially when they are coated with a thick white film which usually means they eat too much dairy and other unhealthy foods. (You may want to check out how to heal this too.)

Be a godly feminine woman. Show discretion in all that you do and don't try to gain attention by doing something that is ugly. You are grown up now and have put childish ways behind you. No longer give into your feelings and emotions but be guided by the clear teachings of the Word of God. Don't follow what culture is doing but follow what the Lord wants you to do: "Let it be the hidden person of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price" (1 Peter 3:4).

Next time someone takes a picture of you, stand up tall and smile with the tongue in where it's supposed to be. You will look much more feminine and pretty this way.

Blogging and Neglecting Your Family

God specifically states that leaders in the church shouldn’t be young so they won’t be puffed up with pride; Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil (1 Timothy 3:6). A novice is “a person new to or inexperienced in a field or situation.” I read blogs written by young women with huge followings and they write books and tour the country giving speeches. I see a problem with this and one of my friends did too. She wrote me this text:

 I read ______ blog post and, oh my, that woman needs some serious conviction and repentance. It's embarrassing to see a Christian mom so irresponsible and unconcerned about her lack of stewardship over her household and children. And she gives women with more than two children a bad name and is feeding into people’s idea that they shouldn't have multiple children because they won't be able to handle it. How can she so proudly display her sin for all to see? She needs to stop spending her time blogging, speaking, and writing and fulfill her role as a wife and mom. She absolutely does have the time and energy to be a godly mother, but she decides to spend her energies on people outside her home at the expense of her family.

 The problems I see with these women are that for starters, many times they are teaching men in their crowds. Women are specifically forbidden for teaching men. “But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet” (1 Timothy 2:12). Secondly, God has given the responsibility of teaching younger women to older women for a reason. They have experience raising children and being married for a long time. Younger women do not since they usually have children in the home who should be their first priority.

 On John Piper’s blog, a woman named Liz Wann wrote some strong words about being marinated in the Word and experiences in life before beginning any type of ministry to others, less there be a temptation to be puffed up with pride and begin living in sin. “Jesus is the sinless example of the intersection of public and private living. For starters, Jesus did not have a public ministry until his thirties. First, he sweated decades over the hard manual labor of carpentry. For the majority of his life, Jesus was unknown and seemingly ordinary. Yet he was faithful in the mundane. He worked with his hands and created form and beauty out of planks of wood… In some astonishingly mysterious way, Jesus’s pre-ministry years were purposeful and necessary for him to increase “in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52) It was in the field of carpentry that Jesus learned and grew into a sympathetic High Priest, and it is here that he models for us that no form of work — even the most mundane — is below the God-man. It is a calling — a place to be, and live, authentically.”

 When God speaks about older women in the Bible, He is speaking about those who have raised children. “Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work” (1 Timothy 5:10). Older women should be those who have spent the “unknown and seemingly ordinary” days being “faithful in the mundane” of raising and disciplining children, being a help meet to their husband, and staying busy in the home. Younger women haven’t done this long enough and are still in the process of doing it.

 Don’t expect to have a blog with a large following while you are younger. Spend your days with your husband, children and keeping a clean and tidy home. Fame is a pit of destruction for many people, especially when they are young. They crawl into it since they believe they are “above the Law” and don’t practice what they preach or don’t have the experience they should have to be doing what they are doing.

If you are a mother with children still in the home, focus your time and energies on loving and obeying your husband. Be the best help meet to him you possibly can. Love your children and raise them to be self-controlled lovers of Jesus. Fix your family nourishing food, help those in need when you have time, and take care of all the things that a home requires. This is a good work and what the Lord has called you to do. Then if you have a bit of extra time to do some blogging, go ahead and do it but don't allow it to consume your time and energy. Always keep time with the Lord, your marriage, children and home your priority. This is God's will for you.

Josh and Anna Celebrate

Joshua and Anna Duggar just celebrated their eighth anniversary. This is what was said about them: “Throughout this ordeal, Anna remained faithful to her husband. While she publicly shared the deep grief and betrayal that she felt, she never once talked badly about Josh. She continued to trust in God and be strong for her children, and she waited patiently for her husband to complete his program and return home.”

The world can’t understand this type of love and forgiveness. They consistently ridicule the Duggar family’s values and of course they do. The Duggar family lives for the Lord and His glory, not the world’s. Yes, Josh committed terrible sins against his wife but she was determined to show him the grace and forgiveness the Lord shows us.

The Apostle Paul murdered Christians. “For I am the least of the apostles, that am not meet to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me” (1 Corinthians 15:9, 10). God showed His grace and forgiveness to an evil man who was murdering His children and used him in a mighty way. The Apostle Paul saw Jesus, took part in the beginnings of the Church, and wrote the most powerful books in the Bible.

God did this to show His depth of compassion and love upon us and that no one is beyond redemption. There are women in the chat room fighting for their marriages. Their husbands are living with their girlfriend, trapped in addictive drugs, and living in direct disobedience to the Lord. Yet, these women know what is at stake: their husband’s eternal souls. This is what they are fighting for. They have an eternal perspective, not a selfish, "it’s-all-about me and my pain" attitude.

The stakes are high, women. Eternity in hell is a long, long, time. Men who are caught in Satan’s web are blessed who have godly wives who are broken up inside from the rejection and suffering they are going through but continue to stand strong in the Lord like Anna. In the Lord’s strength, they are being Jesus to their disobedient husbands and showing love, warmth, and joy to them. It’s amazing to read their testimonies when their husbands come home and want healing for their marriage. Some begin going to church and loving the Jesus they see in their wives.

No, the world can’t understand denying ourselves and living for something so much bigger than us. Time here is short and it is far better to live our lives for others and for His glory than for ourselves and for the pleasures this world has to offer.

The Duggars are consistently being mocked for their faith because they are willing to put it on display for all to see. I have learned from them and I am sure many others have. We’ve learned what a blessing children and strong marriages are and the importance of dressing modestly. We’ve seen them go on mission trips, take treats to the local policemen and firemen, and how they handle difficulties by trusting in the Lord. We’ve seen them forgive others who have sinned against them. The children wait patiently for the one they are going to marry and stay pure during the courtship and engagement, then go on to have strong marriages, except the precious one who forgave her husband who sinned greatly against her.

I love the writings of Charles Spurgeon, as you know. He wrote: “You tell me there are no persecutions now. Indeed, perhaps if you followed Christ more fully, you would find out there were.” Follow Christ fully, trust the Lord, and expect to be ridiculed by many in this evil age but never take part in the mocking of other believers who are living their lives for the Lord. Rejoice with them when their prodigal comes home.

Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

2 Timothy 3:12