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Written by Donna Martin |
Have you heard the saying,“If Mama ain’t happy,
ain’t nobody happy?” When you think about it, it’s a very true statement.
Mothers play a large part in setting the tone of our homes. Are we cranky,
short tempered, critical, and impatient or do we display kindness, patience,
and show love? Peaceful homes are made up of peaceful people, and it stems from
having peace within our hearts. If you do not have a peaceful home, or if feel
that you could be doing better, let’s look at Scripture to see what might be
causing the problem in this area.
Why People Fail To
Produce Fruit
In Galatians 5:22, the third fruit of the
Spirit is peace. If you are a Christian and you want the fruit of the Spirit to
develop in your life, the only way it will happen is by growing closer to the
Lord. Why would people fail to produce these fruits of the Spirit? Let’s look
into Luke 8, where Jesus explains
the parable of the four soils: The first group in verse 12 was like those religious people
who refused to believe God’s message.
The stony ground people in verse 13 trusted God, but never got around
to doing anything about it. Materialism overcame the thistle patch people
in verse 14, and left nowhere in their lives for
God. The good soil people followed God, no matter what the cost. I suggest that
if you belong to anything but the good soil group, you will not have peace in your life or
in your home.
Is there is a reason why the devil is taking the
Word from your heart before that Word can sink in? In Psalm 139:23 we see that
David asked God to “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and
know my thoughts.” David laid his heart open before God and asked Him
to point out any sin, even to the level of testing his thoughts. In Colossians 2:7, we are directed to
let our roots grow down and draw up nourishment in Him. This way we will become
strong when we receive the truth. In Philippians 3:8, our gain is
through knowing Christ. Count it all worthless if it is not in connection with
a growing relationship with Christ. Therefore, cares, riches, and pleasures of
life can cause unfruitfulness for us.
In John 15:4, the fruit of peacefulness is found
by abiding in the vine. It reads “Abide in me, and I in you. As the
branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can
ye, except ye abide in me.”
Obtaining Peace
Peace is given to us as a gift from God. “Peace
I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I
unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John
14:27). And in Psalm 29:11, “The Lord will give strength unto his
people; the Lord will bless his people with peace.”
There are conditions to obtaining peace ~
Psalm 199:165 - “Great peace have they which love thy
law: and nothing shall offend them."
Philippians 4:6,7 - “Be careful for nothing; but in
everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let you requests be
made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding,
shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
Psalm 37:11 - “But the meek shall inherit the earth; and
shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.”
Romans 8:6 - “For to be carnally minded is death; but to be
spiritually minded is life and peace.”
Isaiah 26:3 - “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stay
on thee: because he trusteth in me.”
Peace in the Home
Real peace comes from faith in God, because He
alone embodies all the characteristics of peace. To find real peace you must
find God. Let’s look at some of God’s people who lived in peace.
Isaiah 32:18 - “And my people shall dwell in a
peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.”
Psalms 122:7 - “Peace be within thy walls, and
prosperity within thy palaces.”
Peace Will Reign
Here are some suggestions on steps we can take to
ensure that our home is as peaceful as possible ~
1. Daily Morning Prayer
A day hemmed in prayer seldom unravels. I have
this saying on a cross-stitch piece that hangs in my kitchen. My reaction to
incidents with my children and husband during the day determines whether peace
will prevail. For example, if I have placed prayer as being my first priority
of the day, I will more likely respond in an appropriate manner that will not disturb the peace
that I want to rein in our home.
2. Watch Your Words
Did you ever stop and think how powerful words
are? The Bible has quite a bit to say about the tongue. Proverbs 21:23 says: "Whoso keepeth
his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles." Words can encourage, heal, build up,
and bring life or they can tear down and destroy. It is so easy in the heat
of the moment to say cutting, unkind, hurtful things to our children or
husbands. Careless, angry comments can leave their sting for a long time. Our
children can be corrected without degrading words. Gentle, kind words diffuse
anger and promote family harmony.
3. Regular Routines
All of us, children and adults alike, benefit from
regular routines. When our meals, our bedtimes, our chores, and our children's
schoolwork time are on a fairly predictable schedule, it gives us a sense of
structure, self-discipline, which results peace of mind. Think about what
happens to you when your schedule is thrown off for some reason. Your kids might react
negatively to an unstructured, confusing household.
4. Organized Home
This may not be an important factor for you, but I
have no peace when my house is a mess. I truly believe it’s difficult for
anyone to live in disorder. Spend time before the children's bedtime and create
a quick pickup, so when you get up in the morning you don’t begin the day
already set back with work. I can concentrate more clearly and set my
homeschooling goals for the day when I don’t have to clean the house first.
5. Establish Rules and Consequences
Establish rules and consequences for your
children's behavior. Be clear about what you expect, and consistently follow through
with your corrections if they test the rules. Children are more insecure if
they are unsure about what's expected, or if they feel that their parents don't
have the follow-through to be firm. There is stability in knowing that you are
in charge, not them.
6. The Past is Haunting Me
This point is an important one, because it can
truly prevent you from walking more closely with the Lord. It can be difficult
dealing with turmoil of the past. Christ said to bring your burdens to Him, and
lay them at his feet. All our worries, hurts, emotional wounds, and concerns
may be brought to Him, and He is willing to take them upon Himself and free us
to do His work in our family and in our lives (Matthew 11:28).
I can remember when I had 5 of my 7 children under
the age of 6, and I was a depressed crazy person. It took me several years
before I was set free from the depression and anxiety. Most of it was due to a
bad attitude and wrong thinking. It did steal my peace, just as something in
your life may be stealing yours. Don’t let those things rob you of your future.
7. Live in Submission to Your Husband
Unfortunately, very few women have taken their
wedding vows seriously. Or possibly they have a modern version of what being
submissive means. Submitting to someone whom God has placed over you with
loving authority is a relief, not a burden. It is an act of yielding or
surrendering, and it has been given to us for protection and happiness. If you
are resisting this aspect of God’s plan for the family, there will not be total
peace in your home. When you have a high view of this calling and a biblical
view of your responsibilities associated to this calling, your husband will be
set free to live up to all God has called him to. You will find that the
atmosphere in your home will change, and change for the good.
In Closing
These suggestions may seem simple and obvious,
but they can go a long way in promoting peace, harmony, and mutual respect in
our homes. We as mothers and wives have tremendous influence over our families.
None of us are perfect in these areas and we are human. But by positive words,
structured routines, established rules, and order in our homes, we can begin to
have a more peaceful and happy home. Above all, putting God in control will
give you the strength and foundation you need to accomplish this high calling.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called sons of God.
Matthew 5:9