Thursday, January 16, 2014

Should Husbands Ever Discipline Their Wives?

Sunshine Mary's husband told her not to put knives in the dishwasher since the dishwasher ruins good knives. She did anyways. When the dishwasher broke, he refused to buy her a new one so she would have to wash them by hand since she disobeyed him. I have heard of some husbands cutting up their wife's credit card for spending too much. Is there anything a husband can do if his wife disobeys him and allow her the consequences of her disobedience?

The husband is the leader and head of the home. The wife is called to submit to her husband. The wife can't make her husband be the leader and head of the home but she can encourage him by allowing him to lead and respecting him more. The husband can't make the wife submit but he sure can confront her about it when she doesn't.

If Ken didn't buy me a dishwasher because I disobeyed him, I would be okay with it. I wouldn't have been in the past but as I have grown older, I honor his position as head of our home and respect his decisions. When I was young, I fought him on all of his decisions. Now, if he didn't think I deserved a dishwasher, I would honor that.

Some think Ken would be "lording" it over me if he did this. Sunshine Mary stated, "You may think you can get away with disrespect and disobedience, but those consequences, when they finally arrive, are not worth it. Because he is nipping my disrespect for his authority in the bud, you can be sure that I will not test his resolve to respond to rebellious disobedience again." She knew she deserved it. They have a great marriage. She understands that the Bible calls wives to submit to and obey their husbands and the husband is the head of the home. She wants to be submissive. It is the desire of her heart.

I think it all comes down to how each couple wants to live their lives. Ken and I keep each other accountable by asking each other in areas we struggle with. The only reason I am wondering about this is because I made our lives miserable for 23 years and am wondering if there was anything Ken could have done to make me shape up a lot earlier!

I am not sure there is. God commands older women to teach the younger women to love and obey their husbands. I never had an older woman, until Debi Pearl, teach me. I am not sure I would have responded to any discipline Ken may have tried on me since I had a rebellious and stubborn heart. Now that I am no longer rebellious,  I wouldn't care if he chose to discipline me or set some boundaries at times! I trust him. I trust how he leads me and my family.

One man responded this way, "A husband that has no authority to do anything but 'reason' with his wife is not the head. Certainly he is without any true authority. I agree that a husband should not hit, kick, bite, be harsh (trying to make this list exhaustive!), but a husband that can't cut up credit cards, not buy a dishwasher, say you can't go out with the gals, and I can think of a million other things that are discipline, yet not harsh as taught in Colossians, and still in keeping with loving as Christ loves the church as taught in Ephesians. For does not Christ discipline those He loves? If you can't agree to a husband having that kind of authority then there is no use having headship for it is nothing but impotent and lifeless. You cannot lead one or even protect one you don't have authority over."

Food for thought.

But as the church is subject to Christ, 
so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:23

***Here is a follow-up post to this one titled ~
Dealing With A Rebellious Wife

Here is a post Sunshine Mary put together as a result 
of the reactions to this post ~ My Favorite Sunshine Mary Post