Thursday, May 26, 2016

Forcing Your Opinions on Others

Women are strong today; strong in their opinions and strong in their desires to be like men. Many will argue their point so hard that it causes dissension and strife in their relationships. I know. I have done this but I don't want to do this any longer. I don't want to debate my husband or others in a way that tells them that I am right and they are wrong. It's more important to protect the relationship than it is to be right.

If you no longer want to force your opinions on others and get in long, drawn out arguments with your husband, simply give your opinion and then leave it there. It's good to allow others, especially our husbands, to have the last word. In fact, this is how you must do it since they are your head and the leader of your home. To insist on being right is to overstep the boundaries the Lord has given you. It is to be disrespectful and unsubmissive. Bottom line, it is sin.

We are commanded to have gentle and quiet spirits. This doesn't mean we don't share our opinions, convictions, beliefs and have discussions but if we do it in a forceful way and in order to prove we are right, then we are wrong even if we are right. Nobody likes a know-it-all and someone who forces their opinions on others. On the other hand, we love to be around someone who listens carefully, shares what they believe and then leaves it at that. They respect us enough to not argue what we believe to be true.

This is also part of being feminine. Feminine women shouldn't be ones who argue cases and debate others. If you watch the women who do this on television, it isn't feminine at all. It's women wanting to be like men. The Bible calls us to be peacemakers and to pursue peace with all men, not strive to be right and noticed.

This is difficult for those of us who have strong opinions. Women shouldn't be arguing over issues that have no eternal significance like organic or not organic, vaccinations or no vaccinations, public school or homeschool, sleep training or co-sleeping, spanking or not spanking, etc. Now, I have very strong opinions on all of these topics. If you have read my blog long enough, you know what my opinions are on these topics. Some of them, like public schools, would be a sin for me to send my children to since I am convicted that no Christian child should be sent to an anti-God government run institution all of their growing up years. I could argue all of these topics but I am not sure I have every persuaded anyone by arguing with them. I give my opinion. There may be a discussion {even a long discussion} and then drop it without saying anything mean, getting upset, or holding grudges. These topics are definitely not worth losing a friendship or relationship over. 

Even the topic of female Bible teachers. The more I have studied this topic, the more I am convicted that many of them teach some false doctrine and many teach men. However, if some women I know love some of these teachers, I give them my views and then allow the Spirit to convict them one way or another. Planting seeds is a gentle process. It's not forcing our convictions on someone but allowing others to come to their own convictions. 

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering.

Colossians 3:12