Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Do You Sexually Harass Men By the Way You Dress?


Margaret Buchanan said "By dressing in a provocative way, girls and women are actually sexually harassing men." I agree with this statement 100%. Wise women know that dressing immodestly causes men to lust. This is one of the reasons the Lord commands women to be modest, discreet, and chaste. We are not to do anything to cause our brothers to stumble and we are responsible for how we dress and our actions. Most of you know what the word 'modest' means but do you understand what 'discreet' means for you?

The Bible calls women to be discreet: "that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" {Titus 2:4, 5}. The definition of discreet is "not likely to be seen or noticed by many people." 

Many women today are anything but discreet. They do anything they can to be noticed by others by what and how little they wear, how much makeup and jewelry they wear, how fancy their hair is done, how perfectly decorated their homes are, the cars they drive, how much money they have, how many vacations they go on, sending naked pictures to others, and the list goes on and on. We, as godly Christian women, should do nothing to draw attention to ourselves, including burping, intentionally passing gas, or other actions that are unfeminine and indiscreet. 

In 1 Timothy 2:9 women are told to adorn themselves with shamefacedness which means to be modest and bashful, not showy or extravagant. We should not be flagrant in word or deed and cover our bodies in modesty, not drawing attention to ourselves or body. This is so contrary for most women today. Many do everything they can to be sexy and beautiful and draw attention to themselves no matter what the cost. The gods of our culture have become looks and trying not to age. 

Our nation idolizes self. You can clearly see this by the number of selfies people are taking of themselves and checking often to see how many "likes" they receive. Many young women are even sending naked pictures of themselves to others seeking attention. The Bible states that in the end times, people will be "lovers of themselves." People today are clearly lovers of themselves and have no problem with what they are wearing and doing and how it affects the men in their line of vision.

We should never live this way. Yes, we should look neat and clean but this doesn't take much time if we're not wearing much makeup or fancy clothes. God wants us to adorn ourselves with good works: living in submission to our husbands, loving and training our children, keeping a clean and tidy home for our family, fixing them nourishing food, being hospitable to others, and helping those in need. This should be what we are focused upon instead. 

In all these good works, we should be giving glory and thankfulness to the Lord from whom all blessings flow. When your life is directed towards good works instead of drawing attention to yourself, and harassing men by dressing immodestly, you are storing your treasures in heaven and not drawing undue attention towards yourself. The ones who will appreciate you the most will be your family and those you have helped. This is what pleases the Lord since He cares more about what is on the inside than the outside. However, our actions and what we wear show what is in our heart. 

What are you storing in your heart? Time in the Word and pursuing godliness or flirting with the world and doing whatever you can to draw undue attention to yourself?

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls or costly array.
1 Timothy 2:9

Comments (27)

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Happy Wifey · 446 weeks ago

Hi Lori, I hope you don't mind me asking do you think Christian women should not wear makeup? If so why? Just trying to gain understanding. Thank you, for sharing this. oxo
2 replies · active 446 weeks ago
This is an area that I am trying to get my head and heart around. I enjoy decorating and do try to make a beautiful home for my family and all my guests. We don't have a lot of money so I'm not spending a fortune but am trying to make it beautiful. (I prefer Goodwill/Craig's List prices). If I need a new table for instance, I don't buy the first one that is serviceable but wait until I can find one that I really like for the price I want. Should I instead be willing to settle on the first one that is serviceable (good quality, does the job) but not necessarily as attractive?

The same with my clothing. I don't buy a whole lot of clothes and jewelry (probably half have been given to me) but I do keep only the ones I find pretty or that I think look good on me. I also wear quite a bit of the beautiful jewelry given to me (I try not to be gaudy but I will wear one or two nice pieces to match my outfit if I am going out with my husband or to church). Is this too much? I have a hard time deciding to wear an outfit that I think is plain or making my home look 'ho-hum' when for the same money I can make my home beautiful.

Can you give me some more feedback and things to think on in order to understand where I need to be more fully?
2 replies · active 446 weeks ago
Very good! Lori, I have a question. In the past 5 years I have transitioned into wearing mostly skirts and dresses. I do not believe God commands this. It has helped me, personally, behave more modest. In my community, no one (really) wears skirts or dresses. So, I stand out. I don't really wear make up and (hopefully) don't make to much of a show of my clothing. Is this NOT being discreet by NOT wearing pants? I do stand out..solely on this. I have been asked if we were going for family photos on one occasion! Keep in mind, I was wearing a simple flowered skirt to the knee, solid colored knit shirt and a simple cardigan with flats.
Any input would be oh so very appreciated. This is something I have thought and prayed over many times.
God bless
Mrs.O
3 replies · active 446 weeks ago
Thank you!!
Mrs.O
I agree with you. We, as older women, are to teach the younger women these things. Shame on us if we don't.
Shalom,
GG
1 reply · active 446 weeks ago
This is rediculous! I refuse to teach my daughters that they are responsible for where a mans eyes will look and how he acts. Let's teach our sons respect for a woman and to respect himself as well.
2 replies · active 374 weeks ago
Lori, my issue as a 22 year-old woman is that my breasts are large (F-cup). I can't hide them. I always keep them covered and never show cleavage and I make sure that my shirts aren't tight, but somehow I STILL catch guys staring (old and young).

HELP!
2 replies · active 446 weeks ago
What a great post! I would never have used such strong language as "sexual harassment" to describe immodesty, but it actually sums it up really well!
1 reply · active 446 weeks ago
What about when a husband wants his wife to dress in ways non-conservative? Shat should the wife do when he finds certain looks more attractive?
1 reply · active 446 weeks ago
Why don't you mind you own business! Who gave you permission to say how much or how little makeup a woman should wear.
1 reply · active 310 weeks ago
I’m so confused by this. You say we are to follow our husbands and submit to his leadership, which I do. He is ok with makeup and my dressing (I don’t dress provocative, but don’t wear dresses). Then you say I should listen to the older wiser women on this. So who do I listen to? I discussed this with my mom and she says that I am ok in how I dress and makeup but ultimately should submit to my spouse. Thoughts?
1 reply · active 310 weeks ago

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