What is a Woman's True Battle?

A man's battle is with his sexual nature and a woman's battle is with her emotional nature. I have heard this and I have written this but I have changed my mind. Yes, a man's battle is with his sexual nature. In the womb, the male baby gets a testosterone wash. They have ten times the testosterone that women have.

I went over to my son's home recently and Emma opened the door for me. She is three years old and she had a pink, fluffy Bella dress on. Then out walked my grandson in only a diaper. He's only one years old but he had his shoulders back and looked like a stud! Even from childhood, the differences are so apparent and I LOVE them!

Men will always have to battle their sexual nature. Maybe it will get easier as they get older and their testosterone levels decline but we must always remember that No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it {I Corinthians 10:13}.

However, I have changed my mind about a woman's battle. Yes, we have to learn to control our emotions, but I think our greatest battle will be to not control our husbands. When we confess this to our husbands and help him to realize that this IS a battle, maybe they will have more compassion on us in our battle as we try to have more compassion with them in their battle with their sexual nature.

Since our curse was to "desire" our husbands, meaning to control them, it makes sense that this will be our greatest battle. When we confess this to our husbands and acknowledge that our trying to control them is wrong, it will help them to see that we truly don't want to control them anymore and are working on giving it up.

Am I a 100% non-controlling wife? No! However, I am MUCH better than I use to be. It is something I have to battle. Many women use their emotions to control, so emotions do play a role in it, but I think the root problem is our curse, which is the need to control.

The verse I quoted above for men and their battle against their sexual desire applies the same to us in our battle against control. We can be overcomers through the precious blood of the Lamb. It may mean having our husbands hold us accountable and telling us what makes them feel we are controlling them. We have become so good at controlling them in such subtle ways that we may not even realize ways we try to control.

Half of the battle is already won by just admitting what we are battling and our desire to stop. Then we need to confess it by bringing it to the light and begin working on changing through the Holy Spirit that lives inside of us.

Don't give up, women. It is a battle we can win. I am sure of this! I always think positively when there are things in my life I want to change since God promised me that I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!

A Battered and Crushed Rose

Matt Chandler, a pastor in Texas, tells of being in a meeting for teens where the topic is sexual purity. The speaker asks the audience to pass around a rose and to sniff its fragrance and touch the silky petals. When he finishes his talk he holds up the crushed, mangled, roughly used rose and asks with disdain, "Who would want this rose now?" Matt said he wanted to stand up and yell, "Jesus. Jesus wants the rose!"

It's true. His welcoming invitation extends to the bruised and weakly burning soul, to the ravaged and lonely. "A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out"{Isaiah 42:3}. His invitation stands ~ "Come." {Pursue The Intentional Life by Jean Fleming}

There are many of you who were not virgins when your were married. I am sure there are some of you who had sex with multiple men before marriage. There are divorced women, maybe some who have divorced more than once or even twice. Some may have had abortions or affairs while married. Maybe some even struggle with pornography and homosexuality. I want you to know that you are welcome here. 

Yes, I love the Duggars and I love God's ways. I always will and I will always teach Truth because deep in your hearts, you know that God's ways are far superior to man's ways. BUT, when you ask God for forgiveness and repent of your ways, there is cleansing and forgiveness. In fact, God makes you a new creature and fills you with Himself. Imagine the freedom of taking off your filthy, dirty rags {which by the way, we all have before coming to Christ} and putting on Christ, brand new clothes, the righteousness of God.

Just because you weren't a virgin or you got divorced or any other "evil" sin doesn't make you any less a woman of God than me or any other. I know some of you feel bruised and battered from your past but know that God has forgiven you for all of it the day you believed, just as He has the rest of us. You are worthy! You are a child of the most High God. Rest in His perfect peace.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: 

old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

2 Corinthians 5:17

What They Love About Each Other

Steven and Emily were out here recently for her bridal shower. Her mother, Janie, came with her. My sisters and niece provided a wonderful, healthy meal and then Steven showed up with Emma for the opening of presents.

Alisa asked them to share with us what attracted them to each other. I had tears in my eyes the whole time, it was so precious. Their deep love and respect for each other was evident to all. One of the things that Steven shared about Emily stood out to me.  He said that she was extremely faithful to her friends. She accepted them and loved them just the way they were. It reminded me of this verse, Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find? {Proverbs 20:6}.

We all want to be accepted the way that we are. We all have faults and struggles. We say the wrong thing at times and may even offend others. Sometimes we are not in such great moods and get irritable. Yet, it is comforting to know there are those who will still love, accept us and are faithful to us. 

Since Emily loves her friends through good times and bad times, there is a great chance she will do the same for Steven. Faithfulness is a rare quality these days but such an important one.

Emily shared that she loved Steven's masculinity. He is a "man's man" as she put it. She loves the way he walks and isn't afraid to stand up for Truth. {She did once tell me that he has the biggest heart of anyone she has ever met! So being "manly" doesn't mean they aren't loving and caring.} She said that she always wanted a very masculine man which seems to be getting harder and harder these days as more and more women are running the homes, schools, government, etc.

Steven is faithful to his friends, also. He just flew up to Alaska to be in one of his very best friend's wedding. They have been friends since they were eight years old. In his own wedding party, he is having friends from his childhood, a cousin, friends from college, dental school, and ortho school. I never remember him saying one negative thing about any of his friends. He very much dislikes slander of any kind.

Faithfulness. A very good trait to build a marriage upon. I predict that they both will be faithful to their God and each other ALL the days of their lives.

Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; 

bind them around your neck; 

write them on the tablet of your heart.

Proverbs 3:3

Our Very First Home was an Old, Little Trailer

Ken and I got married in December of 1980. He was in seminary and I was in graduate school to get my teaching credential. {My dad insisted we all have a career.} We had very little money. We found this little trailer that we paid $230 a month for and my parents gave us that little, used VW Rabbit. As you can see, I was not raised like the Duggars. I wore short shorts.

Ken remembers being so happy there. I remember being so unhappy. I didn't like so many things that he did and didn't do. I was so critical and not accepting of him. Imagine all the fun we could have had together in that little trailer if I loved him just the way that he was? He has always been a great guy. He will do anything for anybody. He gives and gives and gives of himself. He is so faithful to his family and friends. What was wrong with me?

I was badly affected by this thing called sin. My desire was to rule over him as I wrote about the other day {Genesis 3:16}. I wanted to boss him around and tell him what to do. So many women tell me they weren't bossy and controlling until they got married. They, unfortunately, were bitten by the sin bug also. Getting our way was more important than having an intimate marriage.

This is why older women need to teach young women to love and obey their husbands, to please them, honor and respect them. It goes completely against our natural inclination which is to sin. Most of our natural inclinations are wrong. This is why we must never trust them along with our feelings. We must always be in God's Word and listening to good Bible teachers so that we will do things the right way, instead of the destructive way.

Thankfully, there is a wonderful cure for the sin bug. God's mercy and grace was poured upon us when He took our sin upon the cross, nailing it to the tree, and killing it. Now, all we have to do is believe it. We need to believe we are dead and freed from sin. We can love, honor, respect, obey, and all those others things we are commanded to do for our husbands. We have the God of the universe living within us giving us the power to do it. So now simply "Trust and obey, for there is no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."

Let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, 
having our hearts sprinkled clean from an 
evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.
Hebrews 10:22