Disliking Strong Command Men

There are many women out there who don't like strong men. They dislike Ken, Cabinetman, Michael Pearl, John MacArthur, Ronald Reagan, etc. These men are all Command Men and many women seem to prefer gentle, sensitive, and emotional men, like themselves.

This is what Debi Pearl writes about Command Men ~

A few men are born with more than their share of dominance and, on the surface, a deficit in gentleness. They often end up in positions that command other men...They are born leaders. They are chosen by other men to be military commanders, politicians, preachers, heads of corporations, and managers of businesses...Since our world needs only a few leaders, God seems to limit the number of these dominant men...If you are blessed to be married to a strong, forceful, bossy man, as I am, then it is very important for you to learn to make an appeal without challenging his authority.

Cabinetman wrote a few posts on another blog. They were great posts detailing what it is like being married to a Command Man. It generated a lot of good discussion in the comment section. Some women were offended, so his posts were pulled...Imagine that!

One comment he made that really struck me is if you are wondering if you are married to a Command Man or not, you will know by how much conflict there is in the marriage. Command men won't passively sit back and let a wife take charge. He will fight her if she is unwillingly to submit and allow him to be the leader. Steady Men will usually just be quiet and allow the wife to lead. They are not the fighters that Command Men are.

Debi Pearl ends her discussion about Command men this way ~

A King wants a Queen, which is why a man in command wants a faithful wife to share his fame and glory. Without a woman's admiration, his victories are muted. If a wife learns early to enjoy the benefits of taking the second seat, and if she does not take offense to his headstrong aggressiveness, she will be the one sitting at his right side being adored, because this kind of man will totally adore his woman and exalt her. She will be his closest and sometimes his only confidante. Over the years, the Command Man can become more yielding and gentle. His wife will discover secret portals to his heart.

Yes, I am married to a Command Man. He would never let me take charge no matter how hard I tried, thank goodness. This world needs all kinds of men; Steady, Command, and Visionary for all different functions. It is wonderful to learn what kind of a husband yours is so you can become a better wife for him. 

Another admonition I would love to give to some of you; if you don't care for the Command Man type, love them anyways as the Bible tells you to do. Strong, godly Command Men are very much needed in our society to preach the Gospel and even get involved in politics {Ronald Reagan and Abraham Lincoln, for example}.

If you are married to a Command Man, learn what it takes to become his queen. I have and I can tell you it is a wonderful place to be!

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 

Let all that you do be done in love.

I Corinthians 16:13,14

Mothers Leaving The Home Contributed To The Fattening Of America

There are  always new reasons I am figuring out how women leaving their homes and getting careers has harmed our society. Sheila from To Love, Honor, And Vacuum wrote a piece years ago called My Theory Why Kids Are Overweight. Her conclusion is due to women leaving their homes, even though she doesn't state it that way or find the solution in mothers going back home.

When mothers left their homes for careers, fast food became the norm. Mothers were no longer around to shop for nutritious food and then prepare it. Mothers were no longer around to be at parks or in the neighborhoods to watch the children play outside. Families began relying on fast food, processed and packaged food, and junk food. Children began eating poorly and exercising less. They came home to empty homes and entertained themselves by eating junk food and watching junk television. Families stopped having family dinners together. Thus, children became overweight.

When my children were very young, I drove a half hour to a healthy food store to buy nutritious food for my family. I spent a lot of time in the kitchen preparing healthy food for them. Every afternoon, I would go into the cul-de-sac and watch them play outside with all the neighborhood children when they were young. If they weren't in the cul-de-sac, they were in the backyard playing. I wouldn't allow them to come home, eat junk food, and watch television when they were older. I was there, guarding and watching over my family and home.

Was I perfect? No, and I hope I never come across that way but I was home taking care of my family where I believe mothers should be. Running a home and taking care of a family takes a lot of time and energy. It is absolutely a full-time job. We should have never left this very important job for others to do, others who don't care about our family's health. We gave away our family's health to big corporations who use the lowest quality food, including chemicals not designed for human consumption and were only in it for the money.

Mothers, come home to your family. Begin watching over and guarding your home. Take time to fix nutritious food, watch your children play outside, and read to them. Tell them all the wonderful Bible stories of old and about the Rock of the Ages. You were created to be at home with your children. They need you.

She opens her mouth with wisdom, 
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 
She looks well to the ways of her household 
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:26,27

Desiring An Intimate And Passionate Marriage

Most women deeply desire an intimate marriage full of passion, romance, and emotional connection. However, few realize that they are the one keeping their marriage from all these wonderful things.

Trying to control, manipulate, nag, and criticizing your husband produces the complete opposite type of marriage most women desire. When women treat their husbands like this, their husbands feel emasculated and like a child. They are being treated with no respect or honor. A husband will NEVER be drawn to a wife who treats him this way.

In order to have an intimate marriage with your husband, you must give up all control of your husband. You must allow him to make mistakes and say the wrong things without correcting his behavior. He is not your child. God made him your leader and calls you to respect him. This is the greatest need a husband has from his wife.

Why do we want to control our husband's behavior so badly? Is it really because we are so much wiser and intelligent than them? I think it all comes down to fear and trust but mostly selfishness. We fear if we let him eat what he wants, he will kill himself. If we let him discipline our sons the way he wants, our sons will grow up rebellious and injured. If we don't tell him how to do the dishes, the dishes may stay dirty and not get done the way we like. If we don't make him stop watching television, he may become an addict. If he watches the stock market, he may lose all our money. etc. etc.

Bottom line, we don't trust our husbands and we want our own way. As long as you don't trust your husband, you are going to try to control his behavior and you will NEVER have an intimate marriage. NEVER. Men don't want to be controlled by their wives. They aren't suppose to be controlled by their wives. You will never have a romantic and passionate husband as long as you try to control your husband with your words, emotions, or behavior.

Therefore, as an older woman, I encourage and admonish you to stop controlling your husband in ANY way. Allow him to make mistakes and learn from them. Only say encouraging and uplifting things to him. Build him up. Smile at him often and I can guarantee you that you are on your way to having an intimate, romantic, and passionate marriage. God knew this and this is why He commanded me to teach you to love and obey your husband. Now, go love your husband!

My lover is mine, and I am his.
Song Of Solomon 2:16

Love Is Alien From The Spirit Of The Cynic

There are many Christians who believe slander about other believers. Instead of reading their books, watching their videos, or going to them directly, they believe snippets of what others have said or videos that have been pieced together making them look evil. They will also take a few sentences from what a person said, completely out of context, for the sake of getting their point across.

Whenever I write anything critical about anyone, I link to their words directly so all of you can read what they said in context and come to your own conclusions. I think it is very wrong to listen to someone criticizing others without having access to what they really said and in context.

Pastors criticize other pastors. I believe it is okay as long as they clearly link to what the pastor they are criticizing actually said. We have a right to stand up and say what we believe and speak the Truth as we know it but we should never listen to someone distort, pull out of context, and lie about what others have written or said.

Instead of reading blogs or watching youtubes that criticize other believers, read those believers words for yourself. Give them the benefit of the doubt, especially if their lives are exhibiting beautiful fruit. For love "Believeth all things. Takes the best and kindest views of all men and all circumstances, as long as it is possible to do so. It is the opposite to the common spirit, which drags everything in deteriorem partem, paints it in the darkest colours, and makes the worst of it. Love is entirely alien from the spirit of the cynic, the pessimist, the ecclesiastical rival, the anonymous slanderer, the secret detractor." {source}

The next time you hear or see criticism of the Pearls, the Duggars, John MacArthur, Mark Driscoll, etc., don't believe it. Go to their websites directly and read their words or watch the videos they make. They are all godly people who desire to impart God's Truth to others. You may not agree with everything they teach but that is okay. The only book you should agree with 100% is the Bible.

Love...Bears all things, believes all things, 

hopes all things, endures all things.

I Corinthians 13:7