There are many women out there who don't like strong men. They dislike Ken, Cabinetman, Michael Pearl, John MacArthur, Ronald Reagan, etc. These men are all Command Men and many women seem to prefer gentle, sensitive, and emotional men, like themselves.
This is what Debi Pearl writes about Command Men ~
A few men are born with more than their share of dominance and, on the surface, a deficit in gentleness. They often end up in positions that command other men...They are born leaders. They are chosen by other men to be military commanders, politicians, preachers, heads of corporations, and managers of businesses...Since our world needs only a few leaders, God seems to limit the number of these dominant men...If you are blessed to be married to a strong, forceful, bossy man, as I am, then it is very important for you to learn to make an appeal without challenging his authority.
Cabinetman wrote a few posts on another blog. They were great posts detailing what it is like being married to a Command Man. It generated a lot of good discussion in the comment section. Some women were offended, so his posts were pulled...Imagine that!
One comment he made that really struck me is if you are wondering if you are married to a Command Man or not, you will know by how much conflict there is in the marriage. Command men won't passively sit back and let a wife take charge. He will fight her if she is unwillingly to submit and allow him to be the leader. Steady Men will usually just be quiet and allow the wife to lead. They are not the fighters that Command Men are.
Debi Pearl ends her discussion about Command men this way ~
A King wants a Queen, which is why a man in command wants a faithful wife to share his fame and glory. Without a woman's admiration, his victories are muted. If a wife learns early to enjoy the benefits of taking the second seat, and if she does not take offense to his headstrong aggressiveness, she will be the one sitting at his right side being adored, because this kind of man will totally adore his woman and exalt her. She will be his closest and sometimes his only confidante. Over the years, the Command Man can become more yielding and gentle. His wife will discover secret portals to his heart.
A King wants a Queen, which is why a man in command wants a faithful wife to share his fame and glory. Without a woman's admiration, his victories are muted. If a wife learns early to enjoy the benefits of taking the second seat, and if she does not take offense to his headstrong aggressiveness, she will be the one sitting at his right side being adored, because this kind of man will totally adore his woman and exalt her. She will be his closest and sometimes his only confidante. Over the years, the Command Man can become more yielding and gentle. His wife will discover secret portals to his heart.
Yes, I am married to a Command Man. He would never let me take charge no matter how hard I tried, thank goodness. This world needs all kinds of men; Steady, Command, and Visionary for all different functions. It is wonderful to learn what kind of a husband yours is so you can become a better wife for him.
Another admonition I would love to give to some of you; if you don't care for the Command Man type, love them anyways as the Bible tells you to do. Strong, godly Command Men are very much needed in our society to preach the Gospel and even get involved in politics {Ronald Reagan and Abraham Lincoln, for example}.
If you are married to a Command Man, learn what it takes to become his queen. I have and I can tell you it is a wonderful place to be!
Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.
Let all that you do be done in love.
I Corinthians 16:13,14
Logging you in...
Kath · 564 weeks ago
Kim · 564 weeks ago
I spent Memorial Day weekend listening to a family member, who lives in China, give glowing perception for the Chinese government, while belittling democracy. I agree that a benevolent dictator is better than a corrupt democracy (just China... I'm stopping now). Pearl says how few Command men there are, and I'll add they must be hiding. I see a lot of posturing, but very little leading. Just as with wealth, humans must have issues with power.
Mbb · 564 weeks ago
Mbb · 564 weeks ago
Andrea · 564 weeks ago
It is not a "command" man that leads his home. It is a Godly man that leads his home, no matter what their personality type may be.
My husband would fall more under the category of "steady". He is an incredible leader in our home, in our church (as pastor and even when he hasn't been pastor), in his business and even in the community. When we first got married I tried to lead, Then I tried to be a mouse because I thought that was what the Bible taught. My husband sat me down and explained the scripture more clearly to me to show that I am his helpmate and that he needs my opinion. He showed me that God has given me gifts that are vital to support his leadership. He also gently admonishes me when I try to overstep my bounds. What a man!!!
My husband has, for the last 25 years preached the gospel in many different forums, even on street corners, and has UNWAVERINGLY stood for the truth. And people listen! I have seen him diffuse confrontations just by being in the room. I have seen him cut through confusion just by being led by the Spirit to have the right thing to say. I have also seen him be able to help "command" men to reign in their steamrolling intensity when it crosses into ungodliness :)
The Pearls are just WRONG when they assume that there is a need for "command" men in order to have good leadership in government. We need Godly men, whatever category in which they fall. Ben Carson comes to mind :)
All that to say that there is a danger in looking at some personality types as better than others. My husband actually teaches extensively on this subject. Each of the personality types (the way God has wired us) has wonderful tendencies and sinful tendencies. It is the one who seeks yield themselves and their "wiring" to Christ that will accomplish God's will.
FABBY · 564 weeks ago
Hugs,
FABBY
Britt · 564 weeks ago
I was wondering what your advice would be on how to try to encourage my husband to take the lead in our home. My husband is a wonderful man, but he is unwilling to make any decisions in our home--not about anything. I truly try to encourage him to make decisions or to make decisions with me, to give me his thoughts on what to do with the children when there are problems, and so on. I honestly think his reticence comes from abuse from his childhood (he would be screamed at by his mother and beaten and locked in closets by his father) so he has a great unwillingness to express opinions and to make decisions that affect others. I understand that this is a great problem for him but I would like to encourage him to participate more fully in the decision making of our family and know that it is a safe place to do so. I don't know what to do to encourage him to make decisions.
Thanks Lori!
Cynthia Swenson · 564 weeks ago
Prov 31 · 564 weeks ago
http://www.gotquestions.org/Christian-introvert.h...
Certainly, introverts can have their "pet sins" just like extroverts, but that doesn't make introversion innately sinful. It's just a personality type, much like Lori has an unemotional personality. Those things are just a way of being and not sinful in and of themselves.
Sue B. · 564 weeks ago
I pray that God will someday raise up godly leadership for our nation, but what that leader will look like may not be what we expect. God uses people for His purposes based on what He sees, not what we see. He chose elderly Abraham and Sarah to start a nation with just one son, He chose stuttering Moses to lead His people out of captivity, He chose an unwed teenage virgin Mary to be mother of our Lord. The leader God chooses may very well be gentle, sensitive and emotional, but we need not fear because God will equip who He calls.
Interesting that in the analogy to the Trinity Debi Pearl uses, our King of Kings is a “steady.” :)
Tiffany · 564 weeks ago
Ken · 564 weeks ago
But the process of personal growth requires that one works towards becoming the opposite of their personality. In other words, in order to lead a balanced life with a well rounded set of behaviors we all must work at refining who we are and insuring that our strengths do not get carried to an extreme, and our weaknesses are not so weak. Command men must tone it down a bit and Steadys step it up at times, recognizing that relationships are the most important things in life. So whatever it takes to have the best relationships is what we should aspire to with or lives and personalities. Starting with our relationship with the Lord Jesus.