Today, young people are told wait to get married. The woman needs to finish college, get her degree, and have a career. The husband needs to have a degree, a good career, and money in the bank. Oh yeah, you need a home and two cars also. Then you wait a few years after marriage "enjoying each other" before you have children. When all your ducks are in order, then you get married and later have children.
This is what society says today. I LOVE what this one grandmother told her grandson when she knew he wanted to marry his girlfriend but he was still in seminary and they were both young with no money, "Honey, I married your grandpa in the middle of a Great Depression," she said. "We made it work. Nobody can afford to get married. You just marry, and make it work."
This is one wise grandma. God never said that one must have an education, career and money to get married or have babies. Where does trust in God come from if you have everything in order and not having to depend upon the Lord?
Marriage was designed by God and He blesses marriages and having babies. He was the One who came up with the idea in the first place. My parents got married before my dad was in medical school. They lived in a condemned building for awhile and my dad sold Bible story books. God provided for them. They never went hungry, without clothes, or without shelter.
Most couples will tell you their favorite memories were of the times when they were poor and had very little. Ken and I lived in a tiny single wide trailer when we were first married. Our double bed barely fit into our bedroom but we were fine there. We didn't expect much, so we were content.
The man whose grandmother spoke those words above has been married for 20 years now and has had many trials in his life, all with his bride by his side. He ends his article with "Truth is, there's no way we could have made that budget work. And there's no way we could have grown up enough to be "ready" for what providence had for us. We needed each other. We needed to grow up, together, and to know that our love for each other doesn't consist in our having it all together. It didn't start that way, and we still had us."
I wouldn't have cared if all of my children were married young, but that was not God's plans for them. Once they met "the one" they were all married fairly quickly afterwards. They all had short engagements, which I fully encourage. But if your children find "the one" early, don't discourage them from marrying before all their ducks are in order. Allow them to figure out lives for themselves and begin married life early.
Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap,
they have neither storehouse nor barn,
and yet God feeds them.
Of how much more value are you than the birds!
Luke 12:24
Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap,
they have neither storehouse nor barn,
and yet God feeds them.
Of how much more value are you than the birds!
Luke 12:24
The article quoted from is HERE. It is well worth your time to read.
Logging you in...
Mbb · 561 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 561 weeks ago
Charlotte · 561 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 561 weeks ago
ChristyH · 561 weeks ago
. EVERY girl I have spoken with in my position as high school youth helper has been that they really just want to be a wife and mom but they have to go to college first.
They will have time to grow together and less time to be selfish. College is all about the "me" years. Off my sopabox.
Lori Alexander 122p · 561 weeks ago
Tiffany · 561 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 561 weeks ago
Wendy · 561 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 561 weeks ago
Rebecca · 561 weeks ago
Cynthia · 561 weeks ago
Was the reference to a man leaving his parents and cleaving to his wife in Genesis 2 meant to mean that he became became self-supporting on marriage?
The only other point that I could think of was that in Biblical times, someone who couldn't pay their debts could be enslaved for up to 7 years. Obviously, that would be devastating for any married couple, so it would have been vitally important to avoid getting into debt.
Lori Alexander 122p · 561 weeks ago
Cynthia · 561 weeks ago
Do they intend to start a family right away?
Do they plan to avoid birth control and have as many children as God gives them?
Do they hope to avoid any form of government support?
Do they plan to avoid debt?
Do they plan to always have the wife stay at home?
Do they have certain minimum expectations regarding their standard of living (good dental and orthodontic care for the kids, running water, safe neighborhood, healthier food, etc.)?
First and foremost, a young couple needs to be prepared to have this realistic discussion if they are to be considered mature enough to marry. These question involve not just finances, but also focusing on basic convictions and determining whether they share the same beliefs and goals and priorities.
All of the things I mentioned above are possible - but it's not always possible to have all of those things, immediately.
It's hard to have total financial stability before marriage. I'm not sure that it even makes financial sense, since delaying kids too long means paying more for life insurance, and also means that you will get moving out of your healthiest and most productive work years as the children get into the more expensive teen and college years. Instead, I'd suggest that a couple see whether there is a path to financial stability in place. Students often have access to cheap student housing or other benefits, and in the right fields, you know that income will increase after graduation.
We got married when my husband was a med student. He didn't finish his sub-specialty training until he turned 31, and we didn't want to put our lives on hold for that long. The trade-offs, though, included the fact that I had to work to support us in the early years (he had expenses and the schedule left absolutely no time for employment), his time was extremely limited since the program demanded 80 to 100 hours/week, we had to wait 2 years before trying for kids, and we lived with our baby in a small 1 bedroom apartment. By starting slightly earlier than most of our friends, though, we found that the income increased right as our needs did. The small apartment was fine with one baby, and then my husband finished his training right as the next baby came along. He was able to open his own practice around the time we had baby #3. The family is more expensive now, but his income has grown, and we anticipate that the kids will be grown in a few years and we'll still have time to save before retirement.
Lady Virtue · 561 weeks ago
beth · 561 weeks ago