On several of my posts that I write about keeping a clean home, the discussion of mothers playing with their children always comes up. For some reason either a mother can keep a clean home or she can play with her children, but she can't do both. I heartily disagree!
My mother never played with me but she was always there. She took very good care of us, fed us good food, kept our home clean, and took us places. I was pretty sick when I was raising my children so I didn't play with them much but I did read to them, fed them good food, and I was always there for them.
Some women believe that mothers must play with their children. I don't agree with them. I think it is great if they do but a mother is not a bad mother if she doesn't play with her children. My mom was a great mother. I don't want those of you who don't play with your children or only play with them a little bit to feel guilty, for the Bible says, "She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness"{Proverbs 31:27}.
I believe a mother can play with her children and keep her home orderly. No, it doesn't need to be spotless, but part of being a "keeper at home" should be keeping your home clean and orderly. Emma is with me almost every Saturday night while Ryan and Erin go out on a date. She wants to help me do everything. She is at the perfect age to begin teaching her how to clean.
Do you know it only takes five minutes to empty a dishwasher? I organized my bathroom medicine cabinet and under the sink and it only took 20 minutes. It doesn't take that much time or energy to keep your home clean. My best friend, Sandy, has a spotless home. She cleans as she goes but she always puts people {including her children} ahead of cleaning. It is simply a habit for her. If she sees something dirty, she cleans it. I don't think she has a lazy bone in her body!
Now, if you are sick or in some way disabled, it is more difficult. You just do the best you can do and pray for help. If you have raised your children to clean, they can help when you are ill. Usually husbands will help pick up the slack also. If you have parents and/or siblings nearby that can help, that is an added blessing.
Most everything in our life comes down to self-control and priorities. If you desire to have a clean home and play with your children, you can. You may have to quit running around so much or stop reading the computer, but if you desire a clean home and playtime with your children, organize your life so you can accomplish this. Realize that the Holy Spirit lives inside of you and one of the fruits is self-control. Begin to believe that and instead of saying, "I am too lazy. I am not a good house keeper," begin to say "I have the strength and discipline to keep a tidy home, therefore, I am going to train myself to do it!" For with God, all things are possible!
For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.
I Corinthians 14:33
For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.
I Corinthians 14:33
Logging you in...
mbb · 563 weeks ago
P.S.-I now have a cleaning system. It invovles one load of laundrey every day, dishes every day, pick up every day, sweep and vaccuum every day. That's all I FORCE myself to do. Of course any extra is bonus, but this keeps my house running, and I love my new system! Thank you LORD!!!!
angela · 563 weeks ago
Remember....the house someday will be in blazes.....that fact keeps me in check ;)
Blessings~~angela
momma to 7 blessings ages 11, 10, 7, 6, 4, 2, and 20 weeks
Becky · 563 weeks ago
Love this article.
thanks
Love being his wife. · 563 weeks ago
I can't wait to get back to baking and keeping my home better!!!
We get the results on the 30th of this month!!
{{love&blessing}} I hope you and Ken are well.
Note: No I don't see helping Antony on the same level as playing with my children, I thought I should add that. It have just all taken time to attend to...
Tiffany · 563 weeks ago
I saw a sign on Pinterest once that said "Good moms have sticky floors and dirty ovens" or something to that effect. That has bothered me SO much. If those moms can honestly say that they are spending EVERY moment of their day playing with their kids, then fine, but I don't really believe that, ha. :) Like I said - there is time for work AND play.
Tamara · 563 weeks ago
Tam · 563 weeks ago
Jo · 563 weeks ago
Desiree · 563 weeks ago
Desiree · 563 weeks ago
Maria · 563 weeks ago
Felicia · 563 weeks ago
I'd like to ask for prayer. Not to unload my issues, but my son and my husband (his step-dad) are having issues. I'm praying that God will direct me and to help them heal their issues. I adore my son and would do anything for him. Honestly, if I had the money, I'd leave my husband. I don't say that lightly. But, the issues began about 2 years after we were married and haven't gotten better. They do for a time and then go right back to awful. They both are strong minded, intelligent, self-assured individuals. Too much alike! I would never put a man before my son! ever!!! And I really don't know what to do in this situation. When you asked me if you could pray for me, I said no because I didn't want to unload on you. Especially with most of my family there. I appreciate our chat and I'm thankful that God allowed us to cross paths.
Cynthia · 563 weeks ago
Children have emotional and social needs, which are every bit as essential as their physical needs. For a really extreme example of how true this is, look at what is happening to children in Bulgarian orphanages. Children need love and stimulation just as surely as they need food and water.
Children NEED to bond with their parents, and develop a strong, healthy attachment. Healthy attachment is the cornerstone of their future relationships, and moral and social development. That bonding process involves not only being physically present in the home, but responding to a child's cues, interacting with them, and giving them a sense of being secure and loved.
Play, esp. when children are very young, is one tool to build attachment.
Now, the actual needs of each child and family may be different. My oldest child required a lot of my time, because there were no other siblings or close neighbors, and because her personality craves love and attention and interaction. My middle child had an older sister to play with her, and she is much more comfortable playing on her own. My youngest had 2 older siblings and their friends, so he had constant stimulation. In terms of sheer energy and fun, it's hard to a mom to compete with another child - I remember my oldest being delighted with attention from a 5 yr old who was a real live wire. Other times, though, they really want to know that WE are with them, willing to give them our time and attention, to be silly with them and not just telling them what to do.
My dear, late grandmother, who had always kept a spotless home, told me that she loved to see my play with my baby, and that she wished that she had played more with her kids when they were younger. Cleanliness is just a practical matter - floors and toilets don't have feelings, and we just need to make sure that they aren't spreading too many germs - but we have some a narrow window of time to truly affect our children for eternity.
RetiredNavyWife · 563 weeks ago
Housework was never a priority for me when my kids were little. My priority was my kids. Now, if the grandkids are visiting, I don't care whether or not there are dishes to be done, bathrooms that need to be cleaned or laundry to be done. They have 100% of my time and my interest. Given the choice of cleaning house or teaching my grandson to swim, I know what I'll choose every single time.
Brit · 563 weeks ago
RTD · 563 weeks ago
I have to say that I think women today put a lot more pressure on themselves than our mothers and grandmothers did when it comes to our children. So many of us (myself included) are constantly worried about whether or not we're paying enough attention to our kids, and whether or not they're happy, stimulated, and self-assured. My grandmothers never played with my mother or my father, and both of my parents adored their mothers and grew up to be well-adjusted, hard working and loving. I think that this interesting question Lori posed probably wouldn't have even come up in my grandmothers' day, because they were too busy cleaning, darning socks, cooking, fixing lunches, keeping up correspondences, care-taking, and running the household. It seems to me that women today (again, myself included) have become more obsessed with the happiness and stimulation of our children, and less concerned with including them in the actual labor of living. I'm guilty of this, myself.
I have noticed that when I'm not happy with my children's attitudes or behavior and I give them something productive and helpful to do, their attitudes change right away. I look back to the time when a lot of kids was considered a blessing because they were so productive and helpful to the family's welfare, and I think our culture is really losing that now. I'm part of the problem, too--I only have two kids and sometimes feel like I'm drowning in all their activities.
I also think that our cultural mentality has changed (in large part because of both parents working, but even among my SAHM friends, I've noticed this.) The mentality has changed from focusing on our husbands and pleasing them (dinner waiting when they get home, house picked up and clean for them, helping them relax when they walk in, etc) to focusing on our children and pleasing our kids. My grandmother fixed the dinners that my grandfather liked, even if the kids wanted something different. The point is, the kids weren't the focus--and all twelve of them became hard-working, kind, loving, selfless, and warm family men and women.
Children are more resilient than we know; of course we should enjoy and cherish them, but I don't think that any mom needs to feel guilty for not playing on the floor with her kids if they know that they are well loved and cared for by her.
Sorry for the long rant :)