Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Don't Marry A Ball And Chain

Michael Pearl wrote a letter to his sons on helping them find a suitable help meet.  He told them the most important thing in finding a wife is a love for the Lord and her being a true disciple.  The next quality is cheerfulness.  "The happy, cheerful girl has learned to deal with them {trials and adversities}, and still enjoys life.  No man can make a discontented woman happy.  A woman who does not find joy from a wellspring within will not find it in the difficulties and trials of marriage and motherhood."

Then he wrote, "A girl who easily and often gets her feelings hurt and cries in order to manipulate you will be a ball and chain after you are married.  Look for that cheerfulness when things are not exactly the way she likes them....Avoid a moody, unthankful, unhappy girl."

When I was young, I definitely used my moods and tears to try and manipulate Ken.  It sure didn't work, in fact, it pushed him farther away.  I also got offended {"you hurt my feelings"} easily and often.  I was a ping pong ball of emotions.

Now that I am much older and wiser, I don't use tears to manipulate Ken.  I also don't get offended anymore.  I am not "sensitive."  What I have learned to be is more sensitive to other's feelings and pain.  I have learned to take my eyes off of myself and my feelings and to think more of other's.  Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.  {Philippians 2:3}

There are definite advantages to growing older but I sure wish I would have learned these lessons when I was younger.  I would have spared a lot of people, including me, a lot of pain.