Watching Bad TV Shows

The story that made the biggest impact on me when reading Debi Pearl's book was the story about a woman complaining about her husband's television viewing habits.  She thought the shows he watched were not good and were going to affect her children negatively.  Debi's response was amazing.  She told her she could divorce her husband, go on welfare, live in a small apartment, sleep in bed alone and then have babysitters watch her children and who knows what they will be watching on television.  Her advice:

"Your nagging and criticism have the opposite effect of producing righteousness.  Ideally, if you could hold your standards, hold your tongue, and hold your man, in time you might be able to put forth an appeal to him that does not offend."

I have found that since I no longer nag and criticize Ken, when there is something that really bothers me, I can talk to him about it and he listens.  He even wants me to keep him accountable for several areas in his life.  But it was him who wanted me to keep him accountable, not me deciding he needed to be fixed.  We, women, are nurturers and like to fix everybody, but we can't fix our husbands.  Only God can do that.  When we try to fix them, we just make a much bigger mess.

Boundaries

We had a lot of boundaries for our children when we were raising them. We were definitely known as the "strict parents."  We didn't let them~

Have sleepovers...We wanted them under our roof at night. Nothing good happens late at night.

Watch movies or television shows with morals that were in conflict with ours.

Date until they were ready to think about marriage. They had to do everything in groups.

Allow our girls to wear bikinis. We believe in modesty.

Hang out with kids who had different morals and values than ours.

If they wanted to get into a relationship with a member of the opposite sex that wasn't firmly grounded in Jesus, we talked them out of it.

Some would say we were meddling parents. We would be warned that our children would rebel because we were so strict. My response to that was that children with rebellious hearts rebel, not children with boundaries.

We based all our boundaries upon Scripture, so they would know they were from God and not something we just made up.  We were given the responsibility to train up our children in the ways of God and that is what we did.

All four of our children have always walked with Jesus. They love Him and want to please Him. They thank us for the boundaries we made. They felt protected in them.  God gives us a lot of boundaries and they are all for our good.  I love God's boundaries.  I thank Him for them.  They make life much better.

Difficult Teenagers

Most parents go through periods in their lives when they have problems with their teenagers, even if they are good kids. When I went through those times with my children, I wish I would have handled it differently~ 

I wish I would have never argued with them. 

I wish I just stated my case simply and when they didn't follow through, 
there would be consequences which were clearly stated. 

If they completely disagreed with my stated case, I wish we would have 
just been able to sit down and reason together without getting angry.

I wish I continued to smile at them and be joyful with them, 
even when they were difficult. 

I wish I gave them big hugs often, you know, just kept 
heaping burning coals upon their heads by loving them through my actions.

These are the things I wish I did differently. I think there would have been a lot less stress and I would have drawn them towards me, instead of away from me. I think God's principles would have even worked with teenagers...Imagine that!

Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, 
because love covers a multitude of sins.
I Peter 4:8

You Reap What You Sow

But our actions and reactions do indeed reap painful results in this present life as well as in eternity.  We live under a law of sowing and reaping that is as certain and unrelenting as disease and death.

{Created To Be His Help Meet}

If you sow generosity, you will reap generosity.

If you sow kindness, you will reap kindness.

If you sow discord, you will reap discord.

If you sow harmony, you will reap harmony.

If you sow bitterness, you will reap bitterness.

If you sow forgiveness, you will reap forgiveness.

If you sow hate, you will reap hate.

If you sow love, you will reap love.

Therefore, start sowing seeds of love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance, so you will start reaping them in return.  Start with your family.  That is the best place to start.  Start treating other people the way you want to be treated, especially your husband and children.  It will lead to good fruit.  This is a promise from Scripture and God keeps His promises.