Homemakers Who Store Clutter

There are so many stories about hoarders these days. So many people have homes full of stuff. I was watching the channel about homes recently and they were showing some old homes. All of the closets were tiny since most people didn't own that many clothes back then. Of course, the people looking wanted to redo them and make them large walk in closets to store all of their clothes, shoes, purses, etc.

Why do we think we need so many clothes? I rarely even notice what someone wears and if I do, it doesn't make the person more special to me. We have become a nation of hoarders, as if this is our home and we need lots of stuff.

I visited this one person I know and throughout her whole home we had to walk through tiny rows from room to room because there was so much stuff. I like my bathroom counters almost empty. I like my kitchen counters with as few of things as possible on top of them. I have very few knick knacks. I hate clutter!

If you haven't worn something for a year toss it, unless it is a very special dress used for special occasions. You don't need that many shoes and purses. I have two purses, my every day one and one for special occasions. I probably own about eight pairs of shoes.  I try to stay away from malls and places to buy clothes since I know, deep in my heart, that I have plenty of clothes and there is so many better ways to spend our money, like helping others.

In your kitchen, if you have more than one or two of anything, give it away. Give old appliances that you no longer use away. You don't need five spatulas or ten salad bowls.  Only keep the appliances you use on a regular basis on your counters. My favorite book on clutter is by Don Aslett called Clutter's Last Stand.

God calls us not to store our treasures on earth. EVERYTHING on earth is going to burn up. I am not too sentimental, therefore, I don't hold onto things just because. I know they are not going to last any ways, take up space, and cause clutter, so I let them go.

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through not steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Matthew 6:19-21

Where do you store your treasures?

Tension Makes A Good Marriage?

"Being human is being in conflict. Is not fighting normal? 'No, it's not normal. The couple that never fights and always gets along is aiming too low if you aim for the kind of intimacy, the kind of oneness that I strive for in my marriage. I want to be close to my wife. When you aim high, you recognize the obstacles in your own nature that get in the way of that and that's where the tension comes. Aim low and you're doing fine. Be a happy roommate and you'll have no problem.' "

This was a conversation recently on Focus On The Family with Dr. Larry Crabb who has written many marriage books. Do you understand what he said? Can you find anywhere in the Bible that supports his position? I have listened to several of the marriage programs on Focus On The Family and they usually say many good things but when it comes to conflict in marriage, I disagree with them.

Here are a few verses from the Bible about arguing and conflict ~

Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, 

because you know they produce quarrels.

2 Timothy 2:23

What causes fights and quarrels among you? 

Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?

James 4:1

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:31,32

I can tell you, Ken and I spent the first 23 years of our marriage in almost constant conflict and it made for a very difficult marriage.  I know couples who have never argued and they have wonderful marriages.

How do we have marriages without conflict?

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, 

as unto the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22

It is as simple as that. I find the very few times that Ken and I argue now, I can ALWAYS look back and see that I was being unsubmissive or disrespectful. We both agree nothing good comes from conflict and arguing. There can only be one leader in the family. We are called to be help meets to our husbands, not in combat with them.

Yes, fighting is normal in a marriage when we are walking in the flesh but when we are walking in the Spirit, being led by the Lord and His ways, NO, fighting is not normal.

***Here is the next portion of John MacArthur's message on
God's Plan For Younger Women.

She Was Always There

Peggy Noonan, the former speech writer for Presidents Reagan and Bush I, wrote a book called Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. In the book, she recounts a conversation with her brother-in-law in which she asked him what the best thing was about his mother when he was growing up.

And immediately he said, "That she was there." "There for you," I said. "No," he said, "actually there. In the kitchen. For twenty years she stood in the kitchen stirring the gravy. Every day I came home from school, she was there. When I came home with a broken arm or blood coming out of my lip, she was at the door. That's the big change. Kids have no one home now. I don't mean one-parent families, I mean two parents and both are out. And we'll never go back to the old way again, ever."

I wish I could tell that man that he's wrong. The "old ways" are not gone; they've just been out of sight for awhile. These ways are written on the pages of scripture for anyone who has a heart to seek and heed them. These ways exist within the soul of every woman who quietly devotes herself to hearth and home, hidden away from the popular culture, but shining forth in the kingdom of her Father in heaven.

Let's be the ones of whom our sons and daughters will be able to say one day, "My mother was always there." Give your whole heart to your family and home and you will find a treasure rarely enjoyed in our times. You will leave a blessing with your family that will last a lifetime and beyond. {New Harvest Homestead}

Was your mother always there? Mine was. Every day as soon as I got home from school, I would open the door and yell, "Mom, I'm home!" I wanted to share with her all I did that day. All my friends gathered at our home since my mom was always there.  A mom-at-home makes the home warm and cozy. I loved having my mom home. If you have children, do everything you can to always be there for them as long as they live under your roof.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, 
bear children, rule the house, 
give no occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

I Timothy 5:14

***I encourage you to listen to John MacArthur today as he preaches
God's Plan For Younger Women, Part 1

photo source

Really, Christians? This Is A Good Thing?

This, my friends, is not Biblical. It would be the same as saying, "Parents, if you can't control your children, then you've found a good ones" or "Government, if you can't control your citizens, then you've found good ones" or "Employers, if you can't control an employee, you've found a good one." It  is amazing how easy it is for us as believers to find the world's thinking cute and acceptable, even when it flies in the face of God's Word.

A concerned reader alerted me to this by writing to me, "Lori, I keep seeing the attached poster posted on my friends' walls. The disturbing thing is, they are Christian wives who say they submit to their husbands. I have some friends who posted it and I ignored it because I know they don't follow the Bible in regards to submission. But now that it is making the rounds among women who profess to follow the Bible's teaching in regards to submission, I had to speak up against it. Your thoughts?"

At first, I just wrote her that all I could say is it is very sad but after thinking about it, I had many thoughts. The Bible admonishes older women to teach the young women to be obedient to their husbands or they blaspheme the word of God. Therefore, if you want to speak poorly about God's word, don't obey your husband. But if you want to adorn God's holy Word, obey your husbands; submit to them in everything.

Certainly "control" is not a good word, nor a good thing in a marriage, if it is "controlling." Most husbands have no desire to control their wives but they would like their wives to want to please them and do as they are asked without grumbling and complaining. In fact, most husbands don't expect that much from their wives except maybe a joyful attitude, thankfulness, a good sex life together, a clean home, and good food.

The first definition of the word control is "to direct the behavior of a person."

Ladies, if your husband cannot direct your behavior and you are unwilling to submit to his leadership in your life, you are not a "good woman" to him. Your unwillingness to submit disqualifies your husband as an elder, for if he cannot manage and direct his household well, he cannot help manage the church {I Timothy 3:1-7}.

Perhaps it is the second definition of control that this poster refers to which is "to cause a person to do what you want?" Husbands should not be "controlling" of their wives, especially not loving Christian husbands. The Christian husband should not have to even try to control his wife as she should joyfully seek to please him. 

It seems clear to me that the poster is trying to tell men that somehow if they get a feisty, disobedient wife they have found a good one. The sparks that come from such a marriage can at first be exciting, especially the non-stop makeup sex in the early years of marriage. But longer term, an unsubmissive wife wears on her husband and often destroys her marriage. Trust me, I am speaking from experience.

Allow your husband to give you direction and to manage the household. If you find him "controlling," talk to him about it and seek counsel from an older godly woman. If you are a godly woman, you want your husband to be "in control" without being "controlling." That poster above should have read, "Men, if you can find a woman who doesn't try to control you...then you've found a good one!"

The aged women...teach the young women...to be obedient to 

their own husband that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Titus 2:3-5