Monday, May 5, 2014

Really, Christians? This Is A Good Thing?

This, my friends, is not Biblical. It would be the same as saying, "Parents, if you can't control your children, then you've found a good ones" or "Government, if you can't control your citizens, then you've found good ones" or "Employers, if you can't control an employee, you've found a good one." It  is amazing how easy it is for us as believers to find the world's thinking cute and acceptable, even when it flies in the face of God's Word.

A concerned reader alerted me to this by writing to me, "Lori, I keep seeing the attached poster posted on my friends' walls. The disturbing thing is, they are Christian wives who say they submit to their husbands. I have some friends who posted it and I ignored it because I know they don't follow the Bible in regards to submission. But now that it is making the rounds among women who profess to follow the Bible's teaching in regards to submission, I had to speak up against it. Your thoughts?"

At first, I just wrote her that all I could say is it is very sad but after thinking about it, I had many thoughts. The Bible admonishes older women to teach the young women to be obedient to their husbands or they blaspheme the word of God. Therefore, if you want to speak poorly about God's word, don't obey your husband. But if you want to adorn God's holy Word, obey your husbands; submit to them in everything.

Certainly "control" is not a good word, nor a good thing in a marriage, if it is "controlling." Most husbands have no desire to control their wives but they would like their wives to want to please them and do as they are asked without grumbling and complaining. In fact, most husbands don't expect that much from their wives except maybe a joyful attitude, thankfulness, a good sex life together, a clean home, and good food.

The first definition of the word control is "to direct the behavior of a person."
Ladies, if your husband cannot direct your behavior and you are unwilling to submit to his leadership in your life, you are not a "good woman" to him. Your unwillingness to submit disqualifies your husband as an elder, for if he cannot manage and direct his household well, he cannot help manage the church {I Timothy 3:1-7}.

Perhaps it is the second definition of control that this poster refers to which is "to cause a person to do what you want?" Husbands should not be "controlling" of their wives, especially not loving Christian husbands. The Christian husband should not have to even try to control his wife as she should joyfully seek to please him. 

It seems clear to me that the poster is trying to tell men that somehow if they get a feisty, disobedient wife they have found a good one. The sparks that come from such a marriage can at first be exciting, especially the non-stop makeup sex in the early years of marriage. But longer term, an unsubmissive wife wears on her husband and often destroys her marriage. Trust me, I am speaking from experience.

Allow your husband to give you direction and to manage the household. If you find him "controlling," talk to him about it and seek counsel from an older godly woman. If you are a godly woman, you want your husband to be "in control" without being "controlling." That poster above should have read, "Men, if you can find a woman who doesn't try to control you...then you've found a good one!"

The aged women...teach the young be obedient to 
their own husband that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5