Thursday, August 2, 2012

Conflict Resolution

There is a class on conflict resolution at our church for couples preparing to get married.  Every marriage seminar we have attended taught conflict resolution.  When I write about not arguing at all, people usually comment that this is not possible.  Conflict resolution needs to be taught.

Show me in the Bible that conflict resolution should be part of a marriage.  I find many verses about being peacemakers and pursuing peace with all men.  I assume this means with our husbands also.  I read verses about not quarreling and fighting with others.  If you have something against your brother, go to him quickly and make amends.

God makes it very clear throughout Scripture that we are to be people of peace, kindness, patience, and love.  Quarrelling, arguing, fighting, and discord should have no place in our lives.

Therefore, I think it is much more profitable to teach engaged couples to not argue and fight.  Simply state your opinions and leave it at that.  Since God has called for the husband to be the head, he should have the last word.  Most husbands will gladly listen to their wives counsel before making decisions.  If they do not, live with it and learn to accept it gladly.  This brings honor to the Lord.

I know this can be done.  My marriage is proof of it.  We fought for 23 years.  Now we rarely do.  We are not perfect.  Nobody is but it is much better for couples to make it a goal to not argue than how to argue.  Our marriage is peaceful now.  We love to be together.  This is the way it should be.

If it be possible, as much as lies in you, live peaceably with all men.
Romans 12:18