Therefore if your enemy hungers, feed him; if he thirsts, give him drink: for in so doing you shall heap coals of fire on his head. {Romans 12:20}
Heaping burning coals upon your enemies head sounds about right. However, it doesn't mean what you think it means. It means that if someone is cruel to you, mean, or has a hardened heart, heaping burning coals {love} upon their head will melt their hardened heart.
Love is healing. It works miracles. This is why Jesus commands us to love others no matter how difficult they are to love. Every one needs to be loved. Most people that are unhappy haven't been loved correctly.
Loving your children means disciplining them properly. It means setting boundaries. It means being gentle, kind, and warm with them. It means treating them with respect.
Loving your husband means submitting to his leadership. It means respecting him as your head. It means learning what pleases him and serve him gladly.
Loving your mean mother-in-law means being kind to her even when she is unkind to you. It means serving her regardless how she treats you.
You don't win any one by being angry or cold with them. Love is quick to forgive and difficult to offend. It is not being hard, sharp, or legalistic. It is being merciful. It is living with peace with all men. It is overcoming evil with good.
