Does God choose our spouse? Is there one perfect someone out there for you? One person commented on another blog, "I do not believe that God chooses our spouses or that there is "one person" out there somewhere that God made and meant just for me. That's ridiculous in my opinion. We have free will to choose if we marry and who we may marry." Do you agree with this opinion? Do you feel God chose your spouse?
I believe that if you love the Lord and you are seeking His will by asking Him to direct you in choosing a spouse, He will. If He can save your soul, He can certainly guide you to a spouse. Of course, He does command us to marry a believer so if you want to marry an unbeliever, He certainly didn't choose that spouse for you. But if you marry an unbeliever by going against God's word, you must stay with him and be a godly help meet to him.
God did give us free will but He tells us to let our requests be made known unto Him, seek and you will find, and we know He is in control. I sure wanted Him to pick out my spouse, the most important decision I would ever make after believing in Him. I prayed a ton when I was dating Ken and even throughout our engagement. We had the same beliefs and values. I knew we could build a marriage upon that.
Love is a choice, however. I have to continually choose to love Ken and please him. I believe young women need to be mentored to know what that looks like because I sure did not. God's Word and His Holy Spirit do guide us so we are not left in this world on our own, thankfully, even when it comes to choosing a spouse.
Delight thyself also in the LORD;
and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Psalm 37:4
Logging you in...
Lisa · 591 weeks ago
Cynthia · 591 weeks ago
That said, I think that we cannot rely on a hunch, or think that the first person we meet is intended for us. We need to do our part to determine if someone is really for us, and it takes effort. Is someone truly our soulmate - which would mean that we are compatible and have complementary strengths and are able to establish a peaceful and Godly home - or are we confusing G-d's will with mere physical attraction, convenience, desperation to get married, etc.?
I think back to the story of how Abraham's servant Eliezer identified Rebecca as the future spouse of Isaac. She demonstrated her kind nature by offering water to not only Eliezer, but his animal as well.
Cynthia Swenson · 591 weeks ago
Patrick · 591 weeks ago
Tommie · 591 weeks ago
DBphl · 578 weeks ago
When I was in my early 20's and still a somewhat new believer I was at my desk at work just thinking to myself while on my lunch break. For some reason I believed I was called to single service and I just declared at that moment to settle the issue, not think about marriage whatsoever and see what it is God wanted me to do as a single because that's apparently what God has called me to. Right after I had the thought, I went on one of my favorite URban Christian sites at the time and saw a book titled what to do when love finds you by Michelle McKinney Hammon. When I say I wasn't actively looking to marry then I truly wasn't, God kept changing my heart concerning marriage for whatever reason (well I know why now:)) but it wasn't something I'd been praying for personally, yet for some reason read the book description and Michelle said almost verbatim the thoughts I just had and how God said to her "I didn't tell you that" when she said she was called to serve as a single.
I prayed and said well Lord if this message is for me I'm going to need for you to do the choosing because I have no taste:) And not speaking looks but wanted a man that had God's heart which God is the only one that truly knows the details within a man's heart. That following Sunday I met a guy at church and heard a voice say that's the man you're going to marry. I thought wah LOL why did that come to mind. It was interesting because I'd just joined the church the previous Sunday and never saw this guy yet he was a long standing, active member and I'd visited the church several time prior to committing to serving with that particular part of the body. I later learned he's a musician that was on tour frequently during that particular period of time. I was introduced to him and when I hugged him I felt the Holy Spirit but at the time I thought oh gosh get it together, thinking I reacted to the human touch, male touch specifically and I heard a voice say that wasn't a sexual reaction (plus I knew what the Holy Spirit "felt like" so I knew better), and you didn't respond that way after hugging any other man within the congregation.
Long story short after praying for some time, seeking confirmation but not getting it (the way I hoped to at least) missing the fact that the guy was hinting not that I was reading into something that wasn't there and much waiting solo later, he married someone else. I was devastated and confused. God later showed me some of the things that occurred and why marriage didn't happen, namely not believing Him in the end.
Saying all that to say this post is so needed and I'm grateful for it, when I was waiting I sought out and for anyone that believes God is showing you your spouse trust Him and do not let people convince you that He doesn't work that way, if you seek Him He will not leave you without an answer and He's happy to give good gifts to His children. People often equate trusting God in this area to seeking a perfect being that God will deliver to them that's not it at all. A friend can set us up but we wouldn't trust God Himself to do the same?
With that said He is restoring:) I'm still waiting but I acknowledged where I went wrong and asked God to restore and He is, and He's doing more than I could have ever imagined or as His word says more than I could ask or think:):)
Kathryn · 574 weeks ago
Picked them ? So you had nothing to do with it at all and anyway?
As a single person God has not picked anyone for me and I'm 38
To me I think people who say God hand-picked them spouse are elevating themselves to God doing something special for them I say prove it because why would God not handpick a spouse for each and everyone of us? Got said it's not good for man to be alone the wire so many of us still single did God not handpick anyone for us I maybe God doesn't hand pick for anyone
It needs to explained why God only hand-picked for some of his children but not for all of his children please do explain that one really explain
anon · 561 weeks ago
In the Bible all it says is that we marry someone who believes and loves God..thats it. If they are Christian, loves God and similar visions for the future etc. God vwill bless you and you are in His will!
What if 'the one' for you died? or backslid? God doesnt want people to die young, nor does he want people gonig to hell...He is not sadistic but loving and caring! He allows us to choose whom we love!
Amy West · 485 weeks ago