Lark Rise To Candleford

Yes, we have been watching another great show on PBS.  It is set in the late 1800's and is very wholesome and family friendly.  Why can't America produce more of these types of shows???

It opens with a mother giving birth to her fifth child.  Awhile later, she is cuddling this precious, new baby in a cozy, warm home, with a wonderfully kind husband {Mr. Bates from Downton Abbey!} talking with her older daughter.  She is encouraging her to go out into the world, have a career, and do something with her life!

How can working in a post office {the job she takes} compare with raising many children, taking care of a home, and loving your husband?  This seems to be the way television likes to portray being a keeper at home...boring and unfulfilling.  There is just so much more out there to be explored rather than being stuck at home being barefoot and pregnant.

On one episode, a poor boy in their town is pursuing their daughter and the mother is very upset.  She wants her daughter to marry the rich, successful boy who is pursuing her.  The husband grabs his wife's face, looks her in the eye, and tells her he wants their daughter to have what they have even if it means marrying the poor boy.  They don't have riches, but they love each other passionately and have a warm and happy home...true wealth!

This is another decent show for you to watch if you are looking for one similar to Downton Abbey.  If you have young women in your life, model to them how wonderful it is to have babies and the ability to be able to be home to take care of them.  It is a high calling from God and greatly needed today.  I just can't figure out how getting a lot of education with a lot of debt, a career, and a nine to five job looks more appealing than being a wife and mother.

Yet she will be saved through childbearing,
if they continue in faith and love and holiness,
with self-control.
I Timothy 2:15

Take Porn By The Horn

This was written by Michael Pearl, our favorite Bible teacher, who has never looked at pornography.  He is very hard hitting which may offend some of you but I think we need it!

Here is some very valuable advice from him ~

I never erase my web history. Someone else does it for me after examining it. Someone may ask, “What is wrong, don’t you trust yourself?” My answer to them is, I want my wife to trust me. I want my son-in-law to trust me. I want you to trust me, and I want to make myself accountable to someone—just as you should.

I don’t trust anyone who erases his own web history on a regular basis. Just think about it. God keeps a file of all web searches. Nothing is ever erased, except your entire past sins history when you got saved. After that, in the day of the judgment seat of Christ, you will give an account for every deed done in your body (II Corinthians 5:10). No amount of confession and sorrow will prevent you from having to answer for every deed since you got saved.

By the way, I passed. I have never viewed as much as one single porno image on any computer—ever! My Lord and my wife deserve no less. Having done what is required of me, I am just an unprofitable servant; I have only done that which was my duty to do (Luke 17:10), as any normal Christian does.

Dear lady, if your husband’s office was in the same building as a strip joint, just one curtained glass door separating him from the view, would you be comfortable trusting him to never pull back the curtain and look in on the smut? Would you trust your young untested sons—even when you are gone to the store, and they are there alone? That is exactly what the web is—a ready window to the most vile pornography that the devil and his demons can produce. It is pure Sodom and Gomorrah. And it is right there in your home, all the time, waiting day and night to reach though the screen and grab the lusts of a boy or man. I avoid it like Hell.

I cannot say this too forcefully. You are gullible beyond belief if you have in your home a computer with access to the web and it is not on a password, completely inaccessible to your sons. Every single boy from eight to sixteen years old—without exception—will get on the web and look at porn if he can find the opportunity. He will get up in the middle of the night. He will play sick and sneak in when you are gone to the store for medicine. He will arrive home early, stay up late, rise before you do, or go to a friend’s house and get on their computer when they are not home.

If you are the best parent and child trainer, with the best of spiritual instruction, and the finest education, and your sons view pornography on the web, you have wasted your time. You lose. They lose. God loses. The devil wins.

Christian men develop the fortitude and discipline to obey God and walk in holiness against all temptation, but few boys before the age of eighteen have that kind of discipline.

Any husband that expects his wife to “trust him” is a scoundrel. Never put your wife in the position to have to depend on blind trust. Make every moment a walk in the light. I take my wife everywhere, or else she knows where I am and who I am with every moment. Every Christian man should invite his wife or a friend to view his web history on a regular basis. Every computer should be in a public place or facing an open door (or a glass door) where the wife and kids can see what is on the screen. A man who refuses to do so is guilty of something, if only pride.

Dear Christian brother, make yourself accountable to your wife and your friends. Sweet, gullible mother, get as mad as a mother goose and protect your boys and men.

This is me again...Wives, ask your husband every morning if there was even a hint of sexual immorality in his life the day before. If he is a Christian man who walks in holiness, he will want to be held accountable. He needs to be held accountable, if he will let you.

But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, 
let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints.

Ephesians 5:3

My youngest son who takes obedience to God as a very serious thing has
this Bible verse on his computer screen ~

I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes.
Psalm 101:3

Accountable2You is a GREAT application that protects your family from porn for a very low fee and can be put on everything you own that gives access to porn.

Satan's Perversion Of Submission

Many women refuse to be in submission to their husbands.  There is no way they would give their husbands sex as often as they wanted it.  "Obey him in everything,"  God commands. No way!  She would become a doormat then.

When you lovingly serve someone else and put their needs above your own, you are living in obedience to God and wiping His feet with your life.  There is nothing about being a doormat in this.  Satan just wanted to pervert the word submission so women would have a good excuse not to be a doormat, oopss, I mean a submissive wife.

The picture 0f a woman being a doormat is not suggested anywhere in Scripture. The picture is that of LOVING submission which WINS OVER the man’s heart.  The Bible gives this promise ~

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 
I Peter 3:1,2

This is how a husband knows that his wife is his crown {Proverbs 12:4}. She is worth far more than rubies {Proverbs 31:10}. This isn’t slavish submission nor being a doormat, this is loving submission done out of reverence for the Lord and the natural order of His creation, and out of love for her husband.

Many women fear their husbands will abuse them if they begin being submissive and obey them.  I have found the opposite to be true.  Husbands start truly loving and adoring their wives and become the leaders God has called them to become.

Stop listening to the lies of society.  They don't work.  They are opposite of God's plan for us.  Submission protects us.  God knew that.  He knows everything and His ways are good.

Parental Guidance

My mom, Alyssa, and I went to see the movie Parental Guidance.  It was a rather cheesy movie with a few good laughs but it made some very good points concerning child raising!

This couple was raising their children the way I see a lot of children being raised today.  They won't say the word "no" or "don't " to their children. They have to explain thoroughly to the children their reasons for everything.  There is never any physical discipline or consequences for their actions.  It makes parenting SO difficult!

A friend of mine told me her children aren't spanking their children because they feel the spankings they received as children didn't work.  I asked Alyssa if she remembers being spanked since we rarely spanked our children after the age of five.

She said she remembered a few but knew she deserved them.  She witnesses so many parents today that have children that are so misbehaved because they won't discipline them.  Parents are so concerned about their "fragile self-esteem" that they are ruining their children.

The best child rearing book out there in my opinion is To Train Up A Child.  Ken and I read it a few years ago and decided we raised our children the same way the Pearls raised theirs.  Our children knew the boundaries very well but also knew they were very loved.

This movie has the grandparents come and watch the children for a week.  They set some boundaries and decry the foolishness of baseball games where no score is kept and every one gets to bat until they get on base.  The "everything has to be fair" mentality.

At the end of the movie, the grandchildren love their grandparents and appreciate them.  Children desperately need discipline and self-control.  Their self-esteem will come from that, not thinking everything needs to be fair and no one can ever say "no" to them.  Life is NOT fair and they will have a lot of people say "no" to them.

Prepare them for the real world!  Their ultimate self-esteem, however, is in knowing who they are in Christ.  They are chosen, precious, redeemed, forgiven, and loved by the Creator of the universe.  NOTHING is more important than knowing this tremendous truth. 

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, 
but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness 
to those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11

Titus 2sday

Forbidden Fruit

Women who have multiple sex partners before marriage are indulging in forbidden fruit {sin}.  Women who are married and denying their husbands frequent sex are also indulging in forbidden fruit {sin}.  The Bible clearly tells us to render due benevolence {sex} to each other as a way of escaping temptation.

There are many women out there who were promiscuous before they were married.  Once they are married, they don't seem to enjoy sex anymore or need time to "heal" from their past sexual experiences.  Denying your husband sex, except for a time of prayer or illness, is sin.

Some women wait until their wedding night to have sex but later on, tire of it and don't want it much anymore.  This too is sin.  When we are commanded to obey our husbands, it includes giving them sex frequently since that is how often most men want it.

They may have been virgins when you married them so you reason they exercised self-control in that area before marriage so they should be able to after they are married.  Not so!  Now they have a woman in bed with them {their wife} and deserve to have frequent sex with her.

One woman I mentored hadn't given her husband sex for four months because she's pregnant and was told not to have sex.  This is asking for trouble. I told her she needs to give her husband sex, just be creative.  A young man shouldn't have to wait four months to have sex!

So now that you know not giving your husband frequent sex is sin and you don't want to walk in sin, start making your husband happy.  IT ONLY NEEDS TO TAKE TEN MINUTES!!!  That is not much of a sacrifice to have a happy husband.

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence {sex}: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife has not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband has not power of his own body, but the wife.  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency {lack of  self-control}. 

I Corinthians 7:3-5

Domestically Divine

How To Avoid The Flu

The following recommendations are taken from Dr. Mercola's website.  It is such good information that I thought all of you should read it given the hysteria the media has over the flu this season and the mass marketing of the flu shot.  I was with two pharmacists friends recently and they both said they would never get the flu shot. Something to think about.  

If you do get a cold or flu, live on the drink from the picture above.  You will be much healthier in the end this way, I believe.

• Your Gut Flora. This may be the single most important strategy you can implement as the bacteria in your gut have enormous control of your immune response. The best way to improve your beneficial bacteria ratio is avoid apply avoid sugars as they will feed the pathogenic bacteria. Additionally, processed foods and most grains should be limited and replacing with healthy fats like coconut oil, avocados, olives, olive oil, butter, eggs and nuts. Once you change your diet than regular use of fermented foods can radically optimize the function of your immune response.
• Optimize your vitamin D levels. As I've previously reported, optimizing your vitamin D levels is one of the absolute best strategies for avoiding infections of ALL kinds, and vitamin D deficiency may actually be the true culprit behind the seasonality of the flu – not the flu virus itself. This is probably the single most important and least expensive action you can take. Regularly monitor your vitamin D levels to confirm your levels are within the therapeutic range of 50-70 ng/ml.
• Ideally, you'll want to get all your vitamin D from sun exposure or a safe tanning bed, but as a last resort you can take an oral vitamin D3 supplement. According to the latest review by Carole Baggerly (Grassrootshealth.org), adults need about 8,000 IU's a day. Be sure to take vitamin K2 if you are taking high dose oral vitamin D as it has a powerful synergy and will help prevent any D toxicity.
• Avoid Sugar and Processed Foods. Sugar impairs the quality of your immune response almost immediately, and as you likely know, a healthy immune system is one of the most important keys to fighting off viruses and other illness. It also can decimate your beneficial bacteria and feed the pathogenic yeast and viruses. Be aware that sugar (typically in the form of high fructose corn syrup) is present in foods you may not suspect, like ketchup and fruit juice. If you are healthy than sugar can be consumed but the LAST thing you should be eating when you are sick is sugar. Avoid it like poison while you are sick.
• Get Plenty of Rest. Just like it becomes harder for you to get your daily tasks done if you're tired, if your body is overly fatigued it will be harder for it to fight the flu. Be sure to check out my article Guide to a Good Night's Sleep for some great tips to help you get quality rest.
• Have Effective Tools to Address Stress. We all face some stress every day, but if stress becomes overwhelming then your body will be less able to fight off the flu and other illness. If you feel that stress is taking a toll on your health, consider using an energy psychology tool such as the Emotional Freedom Technique, which is remarkably effective in relieving stress associated with all kinds of events, from work to family to trauma.
• Get Regular Exercise. When you exercise, you increase your circulation and your blood flow throughout your body. The components of your immune system are also better circulated, which means your immune system has a better chance of finding an illness before it spreads. Be sure to stay hydrated – drink plenty of fluids, especially water. However, it would be wise to radically reduce the intensity of your workouts while you are sick. No Peak Fitness exercises until you are better.
• Take a High-Quality Source of Animal-Based Omega-3 Fats. Increase your intake of healthy and essential fats like the omega-3 found in krill oil, which is crucial for maintaining health. It is also vitally important to avoid damaged omega-6 oils that are trans fats and in processed foods as it will seriously damage your immune response.
• Wash Your Hands. Washing your hands will decrease your likelihood of spreading a virus to your nose, mouth or other people. Be sure you don't use antibacterial soap for this – antibacterial soaps are completely unnecessary, and they cause far more harm than good. Instead, identify a simple chemical-free soap that you can switch your family to.
• Tried and True Hygiene Measures. In addition to washing your hands regularly, cover your mouth and nose when you cough or sneeze. If possible, avoid close contact with those, who are sick and, if you are sick, avoid close contact with those who are well.
• Use Natural Antibiotics. Examples include oil of oregano and garlic. These work like broad-spectrum antibiotics against bacteria, viruses, and protozoa in your body. And unlike pharmaceutical antibiotics, they do not appear to lead to resistance.
• Avoid Hospitals. I'd recommend you stay away from hospitals unless you're having an emergency and need expert medical care, as hospitals are prime breeding grounds for infections of all kinds. The best place to get plenty of rest and recover from illness that is not life-threatening is usually in the comfort of your own home.

Four Most Important Things In Life

Early in my career as a consultant I discovered that it was next to impossible to change behavior apart from changing thinking. No matter how much you tell a person to do something, no matter what the consequences, punishment keeps behavior in check, but changed thinking is the only thing that will change bad behavior forever. I brought this concept home to the family seeing that indeed God’s Word was exactly right “the truth will set you free.”

From an early age we began to teach our kids certain pillars of truth on which they could hang their beliefs for the rest of their lives. We also taught them that these were the Alexander family’s beliefs and that there may come a time after they move out of the house when they will either have to own these beliefs as their own, or develop their own set of truths by which to best live their lives and please God.

The Alexander Family’s Four Most Important Things in Life are:

Love God and Serve Him

Do What is Right

Be the Best You Can Be

Treat Others the Way You would Like to Be Treated

These are not completely created by me, but originally the last three came from a video called “Do Right” by the football coach Lou Holtz. I added the first and most important one and then set off teaching what these important mission statements should mean to my family and my many clients.

Whenever something went wrong with one of our children we would simply go back to the four pillars of truth we had established for them by asking them how that behavior or action fit into what the Alexanders are all about.

Was your behavior the right thing to do? Were you treating others the way you would want to be treated, especially your parents? Were you being the best you could be? Do you think God was pleased with you and did you show him love by what you were doing?

Most of the time our misbehaved child would hang their head and nod from side to side saying “No Daddy” at the end of each question. When the inquiry was over I would make them look up at me and I would say, “OK, don’t do it again.”

Most of the time that resolved the issue. From time to time we would have to add that a certain discipline, or a punishment would have to be enforced, especially if it was a second or more times for the same behavior. Often the greatest punishment was the lecture the child had to endure almost always using God’s Word to instill in them and train them in the way they should go. Very little yelling, screaming or spanking was necessary in our home because we regularly trained right thinking, and always held up God’s Word as the standard for our behavior as we sought to fulfill the Four Most Important Things in Life.

As the kids grew into Junior High and eventually High School I discovered the need to add a fifth pillar of truth that would allow our kids to quickly process certain circumstances in which they might find themselves with their friends.

The Fifth Pillar of Truth says: There are a lot of stupid people in this world, don’t be one of them.  It is amazing the stupid things people can do, especially teenagers, and it is scary for a parent to think that one of my kids might follow the crowd right into a car crash, a broken neck diving, or a jail cell. If we do not teach our kids to be able to quickly process that stupidity reigns all around them, and that they are to make wise decisions so they do not end up paralyzed in a wheel chair, or in jail, or dead, they may not have the framework of thinking necessary to stop certain instant reaction behaviors.

Yes, all behavior comes from the way one thinks. Even the stupid things kids do come from the bad thinking that the short term laugh or pleasure I may get from “jumping off the bridge” with the crowd, or my best friend, is worth the risk of long term destruction.

Teach your children at a young age what it means to think and behave wisely, and according to the pillars of God’s Word. They must have a quick and easy framework of truth that becomes a part of themselves so that they can make right decisions at a young age.

I will never forget lecturing to about 350 dentists in Brussels, Belgium when I had taken the boys with me to Europe at ages 7 and 9. I was about to give the Four Most Important Things in Life, and all of the sudden I stopped and announced to the group that my sons were in the back of the auditorium with grandpa. I said, “Stand up, boys, and tell me what are the Four Most Important Things in Life?”

In a totally impromptu moment, each boy quickly yelled out two of the four most important things and the room erupted in a loud applause. Hundreds of families have since applied these pillars of truth and taught them to their kids when they were young and taught them often: in the car, at the table, and each time that one was violated. At times, I have visited a client for the very first time in his practice who had attended one of my lectures, and in their family home the father will call over to his son, “Jean Luc, come tell Mr. Alexander the four most important things in life!” Sure enough, this child has them memorized.

Placing God’s pillars of truth in our minds is not a guarantee that we, or our kids, will always follow them, but I will make you a guarantee that if your kids have no pillars of truth to form the framework and fabric of their lives, they cannot live by them. We live by the truths we know, and believe. Train up your child from a very young age in the truths of God’s Word and establish for them the pillars of truth for your family. Within very little time, you will have your kids coming home telling you the stupid things so many of their friends are doing and thinking, because they know the truth, and the truth has set them free from peer pressure and many wrongheaded thoughts and actions.

Ken

So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him,
“If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples,
 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. 

John 8:31-32

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 

Deuteronomy 6:5,6

Enjoying Each Other

The week before Christmas, we all went to Maui for a week.  It has been a long time since we were on vacation together and I missed my summer vacation being so ill.  Ryan, Erin, and Emma couldn't go since it was their year to spend Christmas with her family.

Jon, Alyssa's husband, is a go getter.  He loves enjoying life to the fullest and loves to experience all life has to offer.  If it was up to him, he would have gone on an adventure every day we were there, but unfortunately, the stomach flu had him down for one day.

I love watching the interaction between the two of them.  They truly enjoy being together. They spent many hours out on the Lanai talking and just enjoying the amazing scenery together.  Wherever he was, she was there by his side.

She went with him when they woke up at 3:30 a.m. to drive several hours up to the volcano to watch the sunset.  Unfortunately,  it was covered in fog so they couldn't see a thing.  She went snorkeling with him, along with Steven, another day and saw the most beautiful fish.  She drove the long drive to Hana to hike and see the waterfalls.

One day, they drove north to see the water spout which they could never find.  She has learned to adapt to his life and she is enjoying the ride.  On weekends at home, they bike ride around Balboa Island and are involved in ministries at their church.  She doesn't have many dull moments since she met Jon.

When my aunt first met Jon, she exclaimed, "Oh, he has a twinkle in his eye.  She'll never be bored with him!"  We are very thankful that both of our children are so happily married.  It is such a blessing from God since He is the giver of all good gifts.

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, 

coming down from the Father of lights, 

with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

James 1:17

A Return To Loveliness, Gratituesday

Lawsuits Over Birth Control

"Yes, birth control can lead to deep vein thrombosis, pulmonary embolism, stroke or gall bladder damage, call __________law firm today," the commercial said as it showed a women in a wheelchair who exclaimed, "I never thought this would happen to me."

Wow!  This is worth the risk to prevent having babies?  I have written about this before but to hear this as a commercial on television struck me. God wants us to have babies if we are married and physically able!

All drugs, including all artificial birth control, have side effects.  Spermicides are poisons that are known to cause cancer.  There are risks with tubal ligations and vasectomies. It just seems common sense to me that stopping a natural bodily function is unhealthy.

This woman writes a very good post giving a thorough examination of all the side effects of artificial birth control and even calls it "Satan's little helper."  I cannot believe that God would ever endorse artificial birth control since it causes so much harm to women's bodies and prevents babies being born.  She writes ~  

At its most basic, I believe birth control is a plan concocted by the ultimate enemy of humanity.  I believe all artificial birth control is essentially satan’s plan to cause mayhem and discord, and ultimately death and extinction, for humans.

Sex was never designed to be participated in outside of marriage.  The consequences are devastating...sexually transmitted diseases, infertility, abortion, unwanted pregnancy, etc.  Sex inside a marriage results in pleasure with no guilt and maybe a baby, if God blesses you. 

On this anniversary of Roe Vs. Wade, may our eyes be opened to the destruction that artificial birth control started.  A path that led to the wholesale approval of abortion.  Stop going the way of the world.  It is a broad path that leads to destruction.  God's way is a narrow path that leads to life, abundant life.  Children are a blessing, a gift, given by God.  Be fruitful and multiply!

Enter through the narrow gate; 

for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, 
and there are many who enter through it. 
For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, 
and there are few who find it.
Matthew 7:13,14

Protect Your Sons From Pornography

Let me just start by saying, if you don't protect your children from the evils in society, no one will.  I will never forget the first time I saw pornography.  I was in junior high, minding my own business, and walking down the hall.

On the ground was a pornographic picture of a woman.  I will never forget that picture.  Some boys had put it there to watch the reaction  of the people who  saw it.  Most men become addicted to pornography in junior high.  If you send your children to public junior high and high schools, they will see a lot of pornography, particularly your sons.

We homeschooled our sons through junior high because we wanted to protect them.  I asked my oldest son recently if there was something he wished we did to protect him more.

He told me "No, you did a great job protecting me compared to all my friends."  He knows many young men who are addicted to porn because they were not protected from it when they were young.  In his Christian college, all his friends kept each other accountable.  

We were always open with our sons about pornography.   We had them read Every Young Man's Battle when they were teenagers.  We monitored what television shows and movies they could watch, even in high school.  We knew the trap pornography is to men and took the warning seriously from the Bible about fleeing the youthful desires of youth.

You, too, cannot expect to send your sons to public schools and not expect them to see it.  At the Christian high school my boys attended, there were Christian teachers and coaches monitoring them.  They were protected.  Of course, they couldn't monitor everything but it was way better than the public school which is so huge there is just no way to monitor all the poor behavior.

Protect your children.  Be wise where you send them and who their friends are.  Don't let them have iPhones until they are 21 years old.  Really!  I still don't have one and I am fine without it.  Put computers in the family room.  Don't allow televisions in their bedrooms. Ask God for wisdom in raising them. Be vigilant for the Devil roams around like a roaring lion looking whom he may devour. Don't let the Devil devour your children because he will if you let him.

Flee from sexual immorality. 

All other sins a man commits are outside his body, 

but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.

I Corinthians 6:18

Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, 
abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul.
I Peter 2:11

Pour Your Heart Out, Mommy Moments

In Rebellion To God

Yes, I have been in rebellion lately.  There is something Ken does that was bothering me.  I felt like he scolds me once in awhile.  I asked him if he would stop scolding me.  I didn't like it.  He told me he was "correcting" me because he felt I could be inconsiderate at times.

I move fast.  I talk fast.  I don't notice things sometimes.  I am inconsiderate at times but I fought him on this.  I didn't want him telling me what to do and correcting me.  I felt like a child.  So we went back and forth for a few days.

Finally, the Lord captured my attention.  I was in rebellion.  Plain and simple.  I didn't want to obey Ken in everything.  I didn't want to listen to his corrections.  I wasn't being a wise woman for a wise woman takes rebuke.

I write something on my facebook page every morning for the women who follow me to encourage them in their roles as wives and mothers.  I wrote this the other day ~

Criticism can increase your potential for growth mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Until you learn to accept criticism, you may never learn who you truly are. It is in criticism that you will learn your weaknesses and the things you need to change.

You all must realize that I am writing these words for me as much as I am writing them for you.  Ken knows me better than anybody else.  He can see my faults clearly and my desire is to become a godly woman that obeys God in everything.

Simply changing my perspective on my thinking changed everything.  I told Ken I want him to continue correcting me and I will no longer fight him on it.  He is a wise man and wants the best for me.  He isn't doing it to hurt me but to help me.  All of a sudden, I am fine with it!

I truly want to submit to and obey Ken in everything because this is what God commands of me.  I am still learning.  Understanding what submission looks like can take time when you haven't seen it practiced anywhere, but I know it is a beautiful thing because God only creates beauty.

Wives, submit yourselves to your 

own husbands as you do to the Lord.  

For the husband is the head of the 

wife as Christ is the head of the church, 

his body, of which he is the Savior. 

Now as the church submits to Christ, 

so also wives should submit 

to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:22-24

Modest Monday

Ice Dipping For Pain

Yes, I think I am very accident prone.  I'm very coordinated so it's not a problem with my coordination.  It's just a combination at being at the wrong place at the wrong time, I guess. 

I was at a good friend's house several years ago and while I was standing talking to a friend, her dog decided to sleep at my feet.  I didn't see him there so when I turned around, my feet were stuck under him and I landed on my right arm in agony. 

I didn't go to the doctor...but I'm sure it was broken. I didn't want a cast on it because I knew ice dipping it would heal it much faster. {We did have an x-ray taken and no bones were out of place.} Within a week of ice dipping, it was so much better. 

One early morning, I came downstairs and my cat was nipping at my feet. This wasn't a good cat. Actually, he was a mean cat so I went to kick him so he'd stop biting me. Well, he ran away and I kicked the wall instead. Oh, I was in pain. After a week of ice dipping, it was all better. 

My daughter recently had tendinitis in her thumb. She finally ice dipped one night and it felt so much better. It is great for any kind of tendinitis including tennis elbow, carpal tunnel syndrome, etc. Any inflammation or injury responds well to it.  It is so easy! 

If it is for an arm or hand, fill the kitchen sink with water and lots of ice.  I freeze empty plastic juice bottles and use them.  For two hours, dunk your injured part into the water for five to ten seconds then wait five to ten minutes.  Continue doing that for two hours.  Do that every day and within a week, you will feel so much better. 

For feet or ankles, I use a dishpan and fill it will water and ice.  I have a towel next to the bucket to rest my foot on in between.  Yes, you will get cold so have a blanket and heating pad when you do it.  Oh, back to being accident prone.  I think it is so I can teach others how to get well!

***UPDATE: Last year, my feet were hurting me SO badly I could hardly walk. I had taken a long walk in flip flops which I found out painfully afterwards that this is NOT a good idea. I tried ice dipping and it wasn't helping at all. I got out my Trigger Point Book and read that any time you have feet pain, it is probably due to problems with muscles in your lower leg. I began trigger point therapy on all my trigger points in my lower leg and in within one day, I found relief! I took several weeks of treatment to make it all better. Therefore, if it is muscle pain, you may want to try Trigger Point Therapy, instead.

Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you

and that you may be in good health,

as it goes well with your soul.

3 John 1:2

Gluttony And Pleasing Your Man

An interesting study is to look at the times when drunkenness and gluttony are used together in the Scriptures.  Both drunkenness and gluttony are from the same basic weakness ~ self-indulgence.

If you are a believer, you are filled with the Holy Spirit.  A fruit of the Holy Spirit is self-control.  You must use the self-control that God tells you that you have to control yourself.  If you are taught as a child to control yourself {say "no" to yourself}, it is much easier as an adult.

I recently started reading a blog written by a woman who truly is seeking to be submissive to her husband and her God in every area of her life.  She has been amazed at the beauty of true submission .  I recently asked her a question about her desire to get in shape and this is what she wrote ~

And this gets into your questions about losing weight. I have always held an awareness of my weight. I have a threshold that I would reach and through disgust I would work to lose the weight. It wasn't until I stopped rebelling to RLB {her husband} that I committed to a body pleasing to him.

Never before have I been this committed and this focused. It has completely come from obedience to God's command to submit to my husband. The pop psyche "you've got to do it for yourself" is wrong. Myself, by myself sucks. Without submission, I succumb to temptation easily. I hadn't considered my gluttony until I was in submission.

A friend of mine told me many years ago that her husband didn't like sex because he had low testosterone.  She was overweight.  Years later, she lost a ton of weight and got into shape.  She told me her husband won't leave her alone now!

Would your husband like you to lose weight?  Ask him.  We are called in Scripture to obey our husbands in everything!  This is not taught today.  Women do not want to hear this but if your husband would love for you to lose weight, you need to do it for him.

Go on the Paleo diet.  Cut out all the sugar and desserts.  Go on long walks everyday.  Practice portion control.  Stop drinking alcohol.  Do whatever you need to do to please your man.  Christ died to free you from sin.  He tells us we have everything for life and godliness.  Start believing Him!

Now that you realize gluttony is indeed a sin, you are filled with the Holy Spirit who gives you self-control, and your husband probably would love for you to be in shape {Some men like some meat on their women. You must ask him how much meat he likes!}, you have no excuse to overeat and be out of shape!

You can do it!  God tells us His commands are not burdensome.  Speak affirming words to yourself consistently, "I CAN do this because He works powerfully inside of me!"

Be not be with heavy drinkers of wine,

or with gluttonous eaters of meat; 

For the heavy drinker and the glutton will come to poverty.

Proverbs 23:20,21

Stealing Our Children

We need to send our children into the public schools to be witnesses for Jesus.  I have heard this reasoning many times from parents who send their children into public schools. 

However, in order to prepare missionaries for the mission field, it takes lot of time, sometimes many years.  They have to be taught the ways of the culture they are going to and they need to be strong in their faith.  Our young children are not strong in their faith and do we want them to know the ways of their peers?  Besides, if they speak about Jesus or pray, they will be kicked out. They are not to be open about their faith in any way.

Here are some words written by Nancy Campbell, a woman I greatly admire. She has been an older woman teaching me for many years.  Ponder her words carefully ~

How can it be that parents living in USA, 
who love God and confess they believe the Bible, 
send their children into the public education system 
that does not believe the Bible? 

How can parents who believe in prayer, 
send their children into schools where they are not allowed to pray? 

How can God-fearing parents who love to speak about 
Jesus send their children into schools where, 
by law, they are not allowed to confess that Jesus is Lord?

Why do they send them to be educated by the ungodly 
who scorn the existence of God and the truth of biblical family?

Why do they want them to be daily brain-washed in humanism and socialism?

Why do they want their children to receive an
opposite message to what they receive at home? 

Perhaps it is because we are like sheep and we follow along with what everyone else is doing. We do not stop to think of the outcome. We want to assimilate into society rather than change society....The humanists and socialists are educating the next generation and stealing the minds of children from godly homes. 

Teach them {God's ways} to your children,

talking about them when you sit in your house

and when you walk along the road,

when you lie down and when you get up.

Deutoronomy 11:19

Bring them {your children} up in 
the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4

He Lost Her Fortune

He married her for her money but ended up falling in love with her.  She had a huge fortune that he invested.  He lost it all, thus losing Downton Abbey, her home.  In a moving scene, he admitted to her his failure.  She came over to him, knelt in front of him, smiled at him, and used her words simply to encourage him...

If this happened today, many women in the church would tell her to leave him or call the elders in the church to come and rebuke him.  They would tell her to use "tough love" and not put up with that kind of behavior.

I don't read anywhere in the Bible where wives are encouraged to take their husband's shortcomings {or sins} to the elders in the church, use "tough love", or leave him when the going gets tough.  

Instead, I read in I Peter 2 how Jesus suffered and then chapter 3 begins, "Likewise, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands  that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation {lifestyle} of the wives."

Just as Jesus suffered "leaving us an example, that you should follow his steps" {I Peter 2:21}, we may suffer in our marriages.  Your husband may be addicted to porn, alcohol, or video games.  He may be lazy and not work much.  {Remember, a nagging, complaining, or controlling wife is just as destructive to a marriage.} There are many ways wives suffer in their marriages "but if, when you do well, and suffer for it, you take it patiently, this is acceptable with God." {I Peter 2:20}

If you do leave him, take "tough love" action, or call the elders, you may humiliate him and push him away completely with maybe no hope of salvation for him.    We are absolutely called to suffer for the cause of Christ.  Is it easy?  No, it is difficult but we will be rewarded.  God promises us this. 

Confront him in his shortcomings and sin, then leave it in the hands of your loving Father.  He will do a much better job convicting and changing your husband than you can ever do.

If your husband is physically abusing you, call the authorities and have them deal with him.  Then pray for him consistently.  I know this isn't "politically correct" advice, but it is how I interpret Scripture and God has NEVER led me astray.

I have witnessed many women that I have mentored in desperate situations, even husbands who were having affairs, save their marriages through this counsel.  God's ways work.  Man's way usually don't.

Wise Women