Too Many Distractions

When I was raising my children, the only thing we had to distract us was a telephone and television.  I have never liked talking on the telephone much and I don't remember watching too much television as I was raising my children.  The computer was fairly primitive and I didn't go on it much except to help Ken with his work.

Today's mothers have it so much tougher.  I am glad I wasn't writing a blog back then.  My mind would have been so distracted on finding new material, moderating comments, etc.  Now there are so many things to distract mothers from being the wife and mother they ought to be.

On a subway in NYC this week, a man was shot point blank in the back of his head and killed.  No one saw it happen.  They were all too busy with their heads down playing on their iPhones!  If everyone was looking up like they use to, someone probably would have been able to at least warn the poor guy or could have stopped the killer before the gun went off.

If you are blessed to be a stay-at-home mother,  spend your time wisely.  It takes a lot of time to raise godly children.  It takes a lot of time to keep a home in order and fix nutritious food.  It takes a lot of time to please and love on your husband.  All of these are so much more important than any benefit an iPhone, computer, or television can bring to your family.

Look carefully then how you walk,

 not as unwise but as wise.

Ephesians 5:15

Giving Him Ultimatums

Should a wife ever give a husband an ultimatum?  What if he is practicing sin, can she then?  What if their marriage is falling apart?  Should she insist on counseling?  My opinion is no, she should not, unless he is physically abusing you.  Then call the authorities quickly!

She can ask him once about anything, even confront a sin once.  Many more times than that and she is nagging him and acting like a mother to him and not a wife.  The Bible is very clear that we may win our husbands without a word.  Allow the Holy Spirit to convict and change him.  It is His job, not ours.

The Bible commands women to have quiet and gentle spirits.  It tells us to heap burning coals upon our enemy's head {even if that enemy is your husband}, which means you continue to serve and love him in spite of his behavior.

Arguing with him, demanding your way, getting angry with him, or insisting he does something doesn't work.  Some of you have tried it for many years so you know it doesn't work.  Men were created to fight back and if their wives are fighting them, they will fight back.

Becoming like Jesus, loving like Jesus, and having the joy of Jesus is what will change them, even more than counseling.  I have mentored many women over the years.  Many of them have been to counselors and marriage seminars and nothing has worked.  Once they begin applying biblical principles, marriages begin repairing.

It may take a long time.  Don't give up hope.  Believe God's promises that He works all things for good to those who love Him and are called to His purposes.  Stay committed to your marriage even when it seems hopeless.  Stay obedient to Him and His ways and you will reap amazing fruit for we are promised we reap what we sow.

Love is patient, love is kind. 
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, 
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I Corinthians 13:4-7

Jim Bob Is Frugal

Jim Bob and Michelle Dugger just celebrated their 29th wedding anniversary. Jim Bob planned the whole celebration without her knowledge. He wanted it to be a surprise. First he took her to a small type of art studio that does glass blowing. Then he took her out to dinner for beans and cornbread.  They spent the night in a rather cheap hotel. Finally, he took her in a hot air balloon even though her greatest fear is heights {which was probably paid for by TLC}. Would this be your dream anniversary celebration?

It sure wouldn't be mine! Jim Bob's oldest son celebrated his fifth year anniversary with his wife and took her out to a fancy restaurant for New York strips. Going out to a fancy dinner would be more along the lines of what I would want to do.

Did we hear one word of complaint from Michelle? No, not one. She was always kissing him and telling him how much she loved him. She was appreciative and acted excited. Now, I have no idea how she really felt about all the surprises but from her body language and words, you got the idea she loved every moment. 

She allows Jim Bob to lead even if he is leading her somewhere she really doesn't want to go.  He recently wanted to start a farm. When he told her, she simply said, "Well, let's pray about it." They visited a farm and it made him realize he may not want to start a farm. It would be too much work.

Michelle is a great role model for women. She didn't get upset with her husband for being frugal on their anniversary even though I am sure they have plenty of money for a nice restaurant and hotel. She knows he is frugal and loves him anyways. She focuses on his good qualities instead of his bad.

He is the leader of the family. He definitely listens to her and respects her opinions, but he is the leader.  f you are going to watch any reality show, this is the one to watch. The verse they use to raise their children is to love God and love others. What a wonderful nation we would have if all families lived by this verse.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart 
and with all your soul and with all your 
strength and with all your mind; 
and, Love your neighbor as yourself.

Luke 10:27

Financial Stability Before Marriage?

Should a couple be financially stable before marriage? Do you realize how many couples in the history of the world were not financially stable when they got married? How come we think all our little ducks need to be in order before marriage? Are all our little ducks ever really in order?

Suppose a couple wants to get married but the man is just beginning medical school, like my parents, should they wait until he is a doctor to get married? I don't think so. He is getting a good education in order to support a family.

If a man has no ambition, no job, and isn't pursuing an education, then I don't think they should get married unless the wife doesn't care if her husband doesn't work hard and she lives on very little or has to get a job herself.

God is ultimately our provider. No matter how much money you have in the bank, what kind of a job you have, and the home you live in, it can all be taken away quickly. We have no permanent security in this world. We live in a very insecure world. This is why we must put all of our hope in God.

We must not make rules for couples to follow that are not in the Bible. God tells us to marry a believer and that it is better to marry than to burn. Sure, most couples have to make sacrifices for the early years of marriage but sacrifice is not a bad thing. Hard times help us to become stronger and depend upon the Lord more.

My parents lived in a condemned building for awhile but my mom always made wherever they lived a home. It is not our circumstances that make us happy and content; it is a thankful attitude and a dependence on the Lord to provide.

Our society tells young people they must be financially stable before marriage. The Bible doesn't say that anywhere. It does say that the men need to be hard workers and provide for their families and the women need to be hard workers at home. As long as you are willing to work hard and sacrifice, you can marry even when you are not financially secure and watch how the Lord provides for you.

I have been young, and now am old; 

yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, 

nor his seed begging bread.

Psalm 37:25